Solemn Oath (6 page)

“They're just kids,” Lauren said. “Give them a chance.”

“I did the other day, and, boy, was I sorry.” Buck reached up and tugged at the collar. “Isn't this a little tight?”

Lauren leaned over and checked it. “It's perfect. What did you do the other day?”

“I got my model airplane stuff out of my locker and let the boys help me with it—or try to. Kyle spilled the glue, and Alex broke a wingtip, so it took us longer than I thought it would. My shift ended, but I couldn't leave them there with everything spread out all over the table, so I stayed and worked with them a couple more hours.”

“Did you call Kendra?” Lauren asked, placing the blood pressure cuff around his thick upper arm.

“No, and I sure heard about it when I got home. She just about took my head off.”

“Would you have left if you'd gotten called out for a fire?” Lauren asked, pumping the blood pressure cuff.

“Well, sure, but…Hey, careful with that thing. Don't squeeze my arm off. I apologized and told her I'd never do that again.”

Lauren let the pressure drop and watched the numbers, then wrote them down. “That's what you said after you let yourself be talked into feeding Leonardo for Cowboy.”

Buck reached up as if to scratch at the small wound on his chest but stopped himself before he could touch it. “Hey, this was different…and worse. At least Leonardo couldn't
follow me out of his cage. I haven't been able to get those kids off my tail ever since. Kyle, especially. I trip over him everywhere I go.”

“He seems nice enough to me,” Lauren said.

“So is a puppy, but I don't want one making runs with me. I think it's dangerous to take kids like that into a fire situation.”

“But how else will they learn?” Lauren asked. “You know, Buck, all of us had to get a break somewhere. You've got to be more patient. Maybe that's why the chief put you in charge of these boys, so you could learn some mentoring skills.”

Buck scowled at her. “I don't even know what that word means.”

“It means you have some finely honed instincts you could use to train others, and you can't let all that go to waste just because you don't want to spend time with those—”

“Uh, Lauren,” Lukas interrupted. “Quiet for a moment, please.” He saw the sudden relief in Buck's expression and stifled a grin. Lauren was a great nurse, very caring, but when she slipped into chatterbox mode she could shut down traffic.

Lukas placed his stethoscope on Buck's back and chest, listened to breath sounds and was satisfied. “Where's the pain Kyle's so concerned about?”

Buck gestured to the upper left area of his chest. “Just a little cut. I can't understand why it hurt so much, but, boy, Kyle grabbed me there when they helped me get up, and I nearly tore his head off.”

Lukas found a very small wound just above Buck's left nipple. With a peroxide-soaked 4x4, he wiped off some of the blood.

Buck jerked. “Ow! Watch it, Dr. Bower. I did get knocked around a little, you know.”

“Is that where your pain is located? Don't tell me you weren't wearing your jacket again.”

“Yes, I was. I grabbed it before I went back inside.”

Lukas frowned and checked the wound a little more closely. It wasn't even a centimeter in length, but there was no telling how deep it might be. “Tell me about the explosion.”

“I was grabbing for Roxie when it hit. The manager keeps a barbecue grill back there in the storeroom to cook hot dogs and hamburgers to sell up front, and it runs on propane. It's big enough to take out a wall if it explodes, and that's what happened. Roxie told me she was cooking some stuff on it and had to go up front to answer the phone. When she hung up and turned around, she said she saw a lot of smoke coming in from the back. She says one of the new delivery guys placed some boxes too close to the fire, and Roxie couldn't move them.”

“Did you feel anything hit you? How much smoke did you inhale?”

“I don't really think I got much smoke, but I couldn't tell you if anything hit me. I hit a lot of things, like Roxie, the wall, and then some shelves fell on top of us. I tried to brace myself on my elbows to keep from squashing Roxie. Do you think I could've pulled a muscle or something?”

“A pulled muscle doesn't break the skin.” Lukas helped him lie down while he gave instructions to Lauren for routine trauma X-ray series with two-view chest. “What's the O2 sat?”

“Good. Ninety-six,” Lauren said.

Judy stepped to the doorway. “Dr. Bower, we have a drunk three-year-old in room seven. It's the Chapmans, who called you earlier.”

Lukas glanced at his watch. “They made great time. Get Claudia to meet me there and I'll be right out.” He ordered serum alcohol and poison levels for the child. “I hate to do it, but get Respiratory to draw a blood gas on him.” Invasive procedures were a part of his job he had never enjoyed,
especially when it involved causing pain for little children who were too young to even understand what was happening to them. Big needles that stuck deep and hurt were always traumatic, and this one needed an artery.

“Go on and see about the kid, Doc,” Buck said. “I'll be fine as long as you can keep my young buddies from pestering me to death.”

Lukas grinned. “It comes with being a hero.”

“I don't want to be a hero. I just want to do a good job. This mentoring is new for me.”

“It always helps to learn from the best.”

“I'm not the best. The chief just didn't want to do it himself this time.” Buck lowered his voice and glanced toward the doorway. “I don't want to be a jerk, but they're not going to get a good review from me.”

“Come on, Buck, you were young once. In fact, you're still young.”

Mercy walked into the room, greeted Buck as if she were used to seeing his burnt-to-a-crisp appearance every day and held the clipboards for two more patients for Lukas to see. “Want me to do these for you while I'm here? I called Josie, and she's done a triage and sent some of my patients home.”

Lukas shot her a grateful smile. “Thank you, Mercy.”

“It'll cost you a dinner.”

“Great. I'll cook.”

“Hey! I'm doing you a favor here. Don't threaten me.”

Lukas left Lauren to run his orders on Buck and walked out into the hallway with Mercy. He reached up instinctively to touch her shoulder, then hesitated and let his hand fall back to his side. He was already getting teased by the staff about his relationship with her.

“How's Arthur doing?” he asked.

“I'm releasing him to his friends.” Mercy stopped outside the door, shook her head, frowned. “I didn't want to do it, but he didn't want to be so far from his wife. His CT's
fine.” She lowered her voice. “He's something else. I don't think I've met anybody quite like him.” She looked into Lukas's eyes, then away. “Except maybe for you.” She turned and walked into another exam room.

Lukas was glad she didn't see him blush.

The drunken child, three-year-old Jared Chapman, had a good serum alcohol level, which would counteract the effects of the antifreeze. The ethylene glycol and methanol levels were low enough that Jared wouldn't need dialysis, so they could just watch him closely in the telemetry unit overnight on an alcohol drip. The parents were relieved and happy, and so was Lukas. Even with the needle for the blood gas, Jared was feeling a minimum amount of pain. The poor little boy would probably have treatment for a hangover in the morning.

The pharmacist was the only one who complained. When Lukas personally ordered the alcohol drip, the man replied, “You know you guys can't be drinking on the job.”

E
leven-year-old Tedi Zimmerman answered the final question on her test paper as the bell rang for afternoon recess. Yes! She pushed the page to the top of her desk and looked up at Mr. Walters to see if he noticed. He nodded and smiled. He'd been watching.

She got up and started toward the door, but Abby Cuendet—her worst enemy last year, her best friend this year—grabbed her arm and stopped her.

Tedi turned back around. “Hey, what're you doing?”

Abby pushed straight brown bangs out of her eyes, glanced out the window, then back at Tedi. “I thought you said your dad was locked up.”

“He is. He's in detox up in Springfield.”

Abby scrunched up her face, pushed her glasses back up onto the bridge of her nose and turned to point out the window. “That sure looks like him to me.”

Tedi caught her breath and stiffened, refusing to look. “That's not funny.” Mom and Grandma had both said Dad was supposed to be locked up for a long time.

“So who's that?”

Feeling the darkness of an old nightmare, Tedi turned slowly and looked in the direction Abby pointed. A man
stood in the shade beneath the trees that surrounded the playground. His hands were in his pockets. Looking down with his shoulders slumped, he didn't look as tall as Dad, and his clothes weren't silk and wool with ties and dress shoes. But the shape of his head and the line of his face, even at this distance, were too familiar. Abby's mom said Dad looked like a blond Pierce Brosnan, but Tedi had seen pictures of Pierce Brosnan, and he looked a lot nicer. He didn't look like the kind of man who would try to kill his own daughter.

For a minute Tedi thought she was going to throw up. She tightened her hands into fists and took some deep breaths. It couldn't be. Was she having another bad dream? She couldn't take her gaze from the intruder as he watched the kids spill out of the school building onto the grass. When they quit coming, he turned and looked directly toward the windows of Tedi's classroom, as if he knew she was there.

She gasped and stepped back. “What's he
doing
here?” Her voice shook. Her whole body shook. “He's not supposed to be out of—”

“Girls?” Mr. Walters called. “Aren't you finished with your papers?”

Tedi turned and looked hard at her teacher, at his wide middle and thick shoulders. “Yes, we're finished.” He looked safe and calm as he gathered up papers and stacked them and turned to erase something from the chalkboard. One time he had stepped between a kid and an attacking dog and saved the kid from being bitten. He wasn't going to let anyone hurt his students. “Go out and enjoy the sunshine while you can,” he called over his shoulder. “The rest of the week is supposed to be cloudy.” Which was another way of saying he wanted some time to de-stress and straighten the room. He'd told Tedi that once when she stayed behind to help him collect papers.

Tedi almost asked if she could stay and help him with
papers again, but Abby nudged her. “Why don't you just go and find out what your dad wants, dummy?”

Tedi shoved her friend's arm away. “Why should I? If he wants to talk to me he can go see the principal first. He's not even supposed to be here. No strangers on the playground, remember?”

“He's not a stranger. He's your dad. Come on, let's at least get out of here.” She nudged Tedi again.

Tedi allowed herself to be pushed out the door and into the wide hallway. Together they walked to the side exit, where both of the double doors stood open to let in the cool late-September air. Maybe he would be gone when they got outside…or maybe it wasn't even him. It just looked like him.

But when they stepped around the corner of the building in view of the broad, grassy playground, he was still in the same place in the shadows, hands in his pockets, head bowed.

Tedi felt her heart pound, the way it had that night when he shouted at her and raised his hand and hit her so hard it knocked her out.

“Don't you want to find out what he's doing here?” Abby demanded, nudging Tedi again with her elbow.

Tedi jerked away. “Stop it!”

“Gosh, Tedi, it's no big deal. Just go talk to him.”

“You don't know anything about it. You never saw him drunk.”

“He's been in detox, hasn't he? He won't be drunk.” Eyes flashing with curiosity behind shiny lenses, Abby nudged her again. “Go on and find out what he wants. I'll watch from here, and if he looks like he's going to get close to you, I'll run back in and get Mr. Walters.”

“Oh sure, and what's Mr. Walters going to do, sit on him and crush him to death?”

Abby fell silent, giving Tedi her most stern look of reproach. Tedi stared back, hands on hips.

“Chicken,” Abby muttered.

“Shut up. I am not. I'm just not stupid.”

“Don't you trust me, Tedi? I won't let him hurt you.”

Tedi snorted. “Oh yeah? What are you going to do if he grabs me and runs?”

“Chase him down and kick his rear. Maybe throw a rock and hit him in the head, and you know I can do it, too.”

Tedi held her friend's steady gaze for another few seconds. Abby had given Graham Kutz a black eye the other day for picking on her little brother and sister. She could also throw a ball better than anybody in the school. And she was a loyal friend, even if she was pushy and had a big mouth.

Tedi sighed, and Abby grinned triumphantly. “Knew you'd go. I'll watch from here. Don't worry.”

For a moment, Tedi couldn't get her feet to work. She did not want to go talk to her father. She didn't even want to think of him as her father. But she wanted to know what he was up to. It would be better to do it now, with Abby standing by, ready to conk him in the head with a rock, than to wait for him to catch her when she wasn't expecting him.

When Abby pushed her again, she went, walking slowly, as if sneaking up on a dangerous animal. And he
was
dangerous. Tedi reached up and fingered the fading scar on her neck where the surgeon had cut into her throat to save her life after Dad had damaged an artery in his drunken rage. He'd also embezzled money where he worked. Everybody in town knew about him. Tedi knew the kids at school talked about her behind her back, and she hated it. She hated what he did to Mom and the way he'd threatened to ruin Mom's practice again if she tried to get custody. And the only reason he wanted custody was because Mom had to pay so much child support. Tedi would never go back to live with him. She would rather die first.

Her heart was beating so fast now she could barely hear
the sound of wind flipping the leaves around on the trees. Breathing hard, yet trying not to make noise, she stopped about ten feet from where he stood, and she studied him.

He looked different. Of course, he wasn't drunk now, but he looked different from the way he had this spring even when he was sober. He looked smaller somehow. His blond hair looked more gray. He had more creases in his face.

“What are you doing here?” She said it, then held her breath, arms straight at her sides, anger and fear mingling within her. If he moved toward her, she would turn and run.

He swung around, and his pale blue eyes widened, his lips parted slightly in surprise. “Tedi.” He breathed the name. He did not move a muscle, but stood staring at her as if she were a bird he was afraid would fly away.

Her gaze darted toward the kids on the playground, and at the teachers refereeing, and at Abby watching from the door of the school building, hands clenched at her sides, gaze fierce, as though she were getting ready to thwack a baseball.

“I'm sorry, Tedi. I didn't come here to scare you.” Dad's voice drew Tedi's attention back to him, and his blue gaze held her, roving over her face, as if he was studying it. “I wasn't even going to let you know I was here. I just wanted to see you again. I thought you'd be out on the playground with the rest of the kids.” He sounded hoarse, as if he hadn't been talking much lately and wasn't used to it.

He wouldn't stop looking at her.

“But why are you out?” she demanded.

“The judge released me.”

Tedi felt a fresh surge of anger and fear. What kind of a judge would release a man who'd almost killed his own kid? “Why?”

“I dried out, no booze since…None all summer.”

“Oh, sure. How can you get to the booze when you're locked up? That doesn't prove anything.”

“That's what I asked them. I was afraid to leave. I didn't trust myself because I can't forget what I did to you.” He slowly took his hands out of his pockets and spread them, taking care not to get close to her. “The judge assigned a new, young attorney to my case, and the guy got me out on bail because I had a good record at the detox center, and I'd never been in trouble with the police before, and—”

“But I almost died!” Tedi crossed her arms over her chest. How could they just let him go like that? “Mom said you couldn't get out to hurt me again.”

He winced as if someone had slugged him. A muscle tightened in his jaw. “I won't hurt you again.” Now he seemed to study the ground as closely as he had been studying her. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. I just wanted to see you, see for myself how you were doing…. I guess I had to make sure you were really okay. I was so scared that night…so sure that…And the police took me in while you were being flown out for surgery.” He looked up then, and his gaze pinpointed the scar at her throat. “I did that and so many other things. All these months in detox I've realized how much I did to destroy what I had with you, and…and I was the one who destroyed the relationship I had with your mother. I've been forced to admit so much this summer, so much I didn't want to see, but that I can't afford to forget.”

Tedi watched his face and listened to his voice. He'd apologized before. Maybe he'd meant it when he said it, but what good had it done?

His gaze drifted again to her throat, and she knew he was looking at the scar, then he closed his eyes for a moment, squeezing them tightly shut, as if he were afraid they would burn out if he kept them open any longer. He looked old. He was the same age as Mom, but he looked a lot older than she did. His eyes looked wrinkled, and they turned down at the corners, the way his mouth did.

“I'm sorry,” he said softly, and he raised his head and gazed into her eyes again. “I can't ever make it up to you, Tedi, and I'm so sorry.” He took a deep breath. “But I'm going to try anyway. Tedi, I'm not supposed to be here, but I want to get permission to try to see you again. Before I do that, though, I want to know if it's okay with you. If not, I'll wait.”

She didn't move, didn't speak. She was too shocked, not by his words, but by the fact that she realized she didn't hate him totally. Mostly, but not totally.

“I'd like a chance to talk with you, Tedi. Your mother would have to be there with us.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You're talking to me
now
.”

“What I mean is that I want to start seeing you again, regularly, like the kind of visitation you had with your mom when you lived with me.”

She took a step forward, feeling braver. “Mom would never let you take me away from her again. Never! And I will never go back.”

He sighed and held her gaze steadily. “I wouldn't try to get you back. If I got to visit with you, I wouldn't even touch you. I promise. I just want to find out if it would be okay with you before I ask for permission from your mother.' His light blue eyes filled with tears, and he looked away for a moment. “It's going to take a long time to become friends again, but I have to try.”

Friends? Ha! A friend didn't try to kill a friend. And a friend didn't try to keep a friend from her mother or try to ruin her mother's name in town just out of spite. “I don't want to be your friend.”

He reached up with the back of his hand and brushed his tears away. “Of course you don't. I've been talking with my counselor about it, and he said it would be unreasonable for me to expect that. I just felt like I had to make contact.”

So now he'd made contact. What else would he want?
When Dad was nice, it was always because he wanted something. Why was she even listening to him? Why was she talking to him and thinking about what it might be like to see him again? She should hate him for what he had done to her and Mom. She shouldn't've even come out here.

But what if he'd really changed?

“You'll have to ask Mom yourself,” she said at last. “I'm not going to be your messenger this time.”

Dad blinked a couple of times and looked back at her. “You'd meet with me?” Some of the sadness left his face. The bell rang, and he stiffened. He reached out as if to touch her and then drew his hand back. “Tedi, I want to prove to you—and maybe to myself—that people can change, that they don't have to be stuck in the rut they dig for themselves.”

For a moment, she couldn't help hoping. Then she thought of something Grandma always said, and she knew Dad needed to hear it. “Grandma Ivy says nobody can do that without God's help.”