Solipsis: Escape from the Comatorium (13 page)

“
Hold
on a second,” Renee says.

“
What?”

“
Well,
we have this laser gun, the engines are just behind us, so why not
just fire toward the back of the ship, we could destroy the engines.
With no impulse, the ship would be stranded in solar orbit, unable to
slow down enough to crash into the sun. Then we'd probably be
rescued, or maybe the bad guys come back and kill us, but either way,
disable the engines and we stop them.”

“
You
want to just fire toward the rear of the ship?” Patrick asks.

“
Yeah,
why not?”

“
Well,
we haven't been prompted in any way to do that,” Patrick
replies. “That's how games work, you know, they prime you, give
you hints, you're not supposed to just-”

“
Think
for yourself and come up with a solution,” Renee finishes his
sentence.

“
We're
supposed to fight our way forward, kill some bad guys, accumulate
weapons, get some clues, then have some kind of boss battle,”
Patrick says.

“
I
don't have time for all that, I'm just gonna give this a shot,”
Renee says. She starts firing a solid beam into the rear bulkhead.
The laser quickly eats through the wall, heading toward the rear of
the ship. In a second, the laser starts reflecting back, piercing
another hole in the same bulkhead from the other side, sending a
laser coming back at them. Droplets of molten titanium float away,
cooling into perfect spheres.

“
See,
you can't do that, it's shielded,” Patrick says.

“
Oh
it's shielded, to protect them from a glaring plot hole,” Renee
mutters. “Alright, we'll do it your way.”

“
Just
pretend it's real, okay, act like this is really happening.”

“
I
am!”

“
Drop
the gun,” the evil villain demands. She's a woman with six
breasts, three rows of two, like a dog, clad in leather. She holds
Renee hostage with a small gun to her head. Patrick floats nearby,
holding a laser gun. They are on the bridge of the ship. The
six-boobed, ridiculous villain is backed up against the ship's
controls. “Drop it or I shoot her,” she persists. Renee's
severed arm floats free behind her. It feels its way along an
instrument panel, toward the button that blows the hatch open.

“
Don't
do it,” Patrick says in his best action hero voice. “We
can talk about this.” He starts aiming carefully, thinking
about taking the difficult shot.

Renee
closes her eyes, concentrating on her severed hand walking along the
wall of instruments. It gets ahold of the lever. Renee looks over to
see if she has the right control. She yanks the lever. The air is
sucked out of the cabin, sending Renee and the villain tumbling
toward the exit. Patrick isn't that close to the open door, and grabs
on to a panel, holding on. Renee and the villain fly out the door,
off into space. Patrick hits a button, sealing the door. He's now
free to retake the ship, but he sighs, and shakes his head.

“
Drop
the gun,” the ridiculous villain demands.

“
We
won didn't we?” Renee asks, held hostage again.

“
But
you died,” Patrick replies.

“
So?”

“
If
you die, then it's game over,” Patrick replies.

“
That's
stupid. We're trying to save the solar system, why do our lives even
enter into the equation?” Renee asks.

“
It's
the goal, you know, save the day, get the girl,” Patrick says.

“
Drop
the gun!” The villain demands.

“
Why
is it that I'm the one that gets taken hostage?” Renee asks.
“Why shouldn't it be you?”

“
Drop
the gun,” the villain demands.

“
Just
do what she says,” Patrick pleads, a gun held to his head.
Renee takes careful aim with her laser gun. The villainess hides
almost perfectly silhouetted behind Patrick, leaving Renee with no
shot. She is patient. Renee fires a shot, it just singes the side of
the villain's face. Renee remains patient, trying several times, but
just clipping the villain.

“
You're
too late, in a few minutes, this anti-matter will crash into the
sun,” the villain cackles.

Renee
fires a burst, cutting Patrick and the villain in half at the neck,
killing them both. Renee floats freely to the control panel behind
their corpses, changing the ship's course and saving the day.

Renee
and Patrick are transported, fully bodied again, to the game menu,
floating in front of a model of the Somnomancer hurtling toward the
sun. “You just don't get games,” Patrick mutters.

“
What?
I had fun,” Renee replies.

“
You
have to pretend it's real,” Patrick replies, “if you take
it seriously, it's awesome, but if you just screw around, then it all
feels stupid.”

“
I
did pretend it was real,” Renee says.

“
So
rather than trying to figure out a way to win and have us both
actually survive, you'd just cut my head off and call it a win?”

“
Yeah,”
Renee replies. Patrick seems offended. “It's kill you and save
ten billion people on Earth, or try really hard to save you but at an
increased risk of the solar system exploding. It's pretty much a
no-brainer. And while we're on the subject, how come I'm the one that
gets taken hostage? Am I supposed to be your damsel to save? What the
hell kind of games are you playing? And the six boobs, come on, what
was that about?”

“
Come
on, let's go play something else,” Patrick says, irritated.

“
Can't,
I need to study,” Renee replies.

“
You
don't need to, you want to,” Patrick replies.

“
Yeah,
because I care about doing something that matters with my life,”
Renee replies.

“
And
first-person shooters don't matter in any way,” Patrick replies
snarkily. “You know I want to design games.”

“
I
know Patrick,” Renee replies quietly. “I didn't mean...I
need to study. I'm just tired of these shooter games.”

“
You
just won't be happy until we play the game you wanna play,”
Patrick says.

“
I
guess so,” Renee trails off.

“
Can't
we just stick to regular games? Why does it have to be...that?”

“
Because
we have to grow up, Patrick.”

“
If
it's okay with you, my student here is going to observe the whole
process,” Dr. Graeme says.

“
Sure,”
the mother replies, unable to care about such a trivial matter. Dr.
Graeme approaches the patient in the bed.

“
Hello,”
Dr. Graeme says, barely even looking at the twelve-year-old boy. His
eyes stay mostly on his chart or on the instruments hooked to the
patient. “I'm Dr. Graeme, you're going to be just fine.”
Renee stares into the boys scared eyes. All her training, all the
medical jargon had evaporated. All she saw was the terror in his
eyes.

“
Will
I at least get a cool robot?” Bobby asks with a scratchy
hopeful voice.

“
Sure
thing,” Dr. Graeme replies flatly, turning to the mother, he
has paperwork for her to fill out. Renee moves right up next to the
boy. She puts her hand on his hot forehead.

“
That's
so cold,” he says weakly.

“
Metal
skeletons tend to do that,” Renee replies. “Don't worry
Bobby, you're in good hands. When you plug in to Solipsis, you'll
have more fun than you've ever had in your life. Just think about
playing real first-person video games, never again being in pain,
never needing to be afraid, never being hungry, and living...forever.
How's that sound?”

“
Too
good to be true,” Bobby replies.

“
It's
real.”

“
Is
it really worth it? Maybe I should just die and get it over with,
before I lose my soul and become just some machine.”

“
I
don't know where you got that idea, but it's wrong. Let me tell you.
This place is great.”

“
Renee,”
Dr. Graeme beckons.

“
See
you around,” Renee says to Bobby before following the doctor
into the hallway.

“
What
are you doing?”

“
Just
trying to ease his mind,” Renee replies.

“
You
don't want to get close to these people,” Dr. Graeme says
sternly. “I'm going to have this boy's life in my hands,
literally. The less I know about him, the better. He needs to be just
another patient to you, no different from those simulated patients.
If you get too involved, you'll get too nervous, and you'll slip. Got
it?”

“
I
guess,” Renee replies.

“
Did
you just roll your eyes at me?”

“
No.
Well, maybe.”

“
This
is serious.”

Renee
and Patrick walk on clouds, hand-in-hand. They hop down to a lower
cloud and find themselves in a secluded part of their very own sky.
It's just the two of them and a
picturesque
heavenly view. This is a program within Solipsis. Just as some are
used for advanced role playing games, others for training, this one
is used to manipulate your senses in other ways. This cloud world
manipulates your nerve endings to enhance the pleasurable feelings of
physical stimuli.

“
I
don't know, are you sure you're ready?” Patrick asks. His
avatar has been upgraded, very muscular.

“
I'm
definitely ready for this,” Renee says. They stand awkwardly a
meter apart. Renee waits for Patrick to make a move, but he looks
down at his feet.

“
Did
it start yet? I don't feel different,” he says. Renee rubs her
fingertips across her neck and shudders.

“
Oh,
it's started,” Renee giggles. Patrick still makes no move.
Renee walks to him, closing the distance in short brave steps. She
kisses him on the cheek. He kisses back, but clearly Renee is taking
the lead. Making out, she practically tackles him to the soft cloud,
straddling him and tugging his shirt up.

“
Wait,
I'm not sure,” he meekly interrupts. Renee rips the shirt
fabric open and puts her hands on his statue-like chest. “Can
you stop for a half-second?” Renee grabs Patrick's hands and
presses them to her enhanced breasts. While his avatar looks mature,
the look in his eyes belong clearly to those of a scared boy. “I
said stop!” He pushes Renee away from him. He scoots away from
her, hugging his knees, eyes welling up with tears.

“
You're
never going to grow up are you?” Renee says, looking into his
scared eyes. He's clearly upset by her remark. He jumps to his feet
to leave. “Come on it's all imaginary!” Renee shouts.

Patrick
turns back, face bright red, to reply “I'm not imaginary!”