Some Like It Hotter (Sweet Life in Seattle #3) (45 page)

Suddenly, there’s a beeping sound from the other room. It’s his pager going off.

“Dammit.” He turns his head toward the sound then looks at her again. “I’m going to have to go in.” He heads out to the other room, and she hears the beeping noise stop.

When he comes back into the bedroom, she’s still sitting on the bed with her back against the wall. He picks up his clothes from the floor and gets dressed.

“You should have told me about the infertility sooner,” he says quietly. “But I understand why you didn’t.” His eyes go to hers, and they’re filled with compassion. “I imagine it was a terrible blow, especially for you.”

She doesn’t say anything. He’s right. She’s not surprised he gets it, that he understands how terrible it was for her. But she’s already shed a million tears over this and doesn’t want to shed a million more. That’s exactly what this would be.

When he bends down to kiss her good-bye she doesn’t move, so he kisses her forehead. “We’ll talk about it some more when I get back.”

After he leaves, she sits there for a long time. Finally, she lies down on the bed filled with despair. It’s all so familiar. With two failed marriages behind her, she’s been in this exact same spot before.

She had a lot of good reasons for not getting married again.

And it’s time I start remembering what they are
.

“Fantastic news. Seriously, I’ll tell my parents too.” Giovanni’s voice awakes Lindsay from a deep sleep.

She was up most of the night, trying to talk herself out of her fears. The truth is she loves him so much it’s clouded her judgment.
I let things go too far this time
.

“What is it?” she asks groggily, sitting up. “Has something happened?”

He’s still talking to someone on his phone. “That’s wonderful.” He comes over and stands near her, already dressed. “I can’t tell you how glad I am, and Lindsay too. Yes, I’ll tell her you said so.”

“What’s going on?” she asks, after he ends his conversation.

“Great news. Joseph and Sara are on a plane to New York as we speak.”

Her mouth opens with astonishment. “Wow! That
is
great news. I take it that was Phillip?”

He nods. “He’s at the airport right now, ready to board a flight. The kids flew to Frankfurt last night and now they’re headed to the States. He and his wife have gotten custody.”

“How did he manage it?”

“Greasing the right palms, it sounds like.” He stares down at his phone. “I’m happy it worked. He’s been talking with the embassy here, and they were able to help too.”

She grins. “I’m
so
glad!” She pictures Joseph and Sara coming to the States finally and is filled with relief.

“Me too. Oh, and Phillip told me to thank you for everything. Obviously agreeing to adopt a couple kids you’d never even met was incredibly kind.”

She nods. “Of course. I still hope I get to meet them in person.”

“You will. We’ll figure something out.”

She takes this in. It occurs to her the reason for their arrangement is over.
We don’t have to stay married anymore
.

“Is something wrong?” he asks, slipping the phone into his front pocket.

Lindsay looks up at him. She’s always thought Giovanni would make a terrible card player. He’s too easy to read, but it occurs to her his perceptiveness might make up for it.

“It’s nothing.” She doesn’t want to spoil his happiness right now. “We can talk about it later.”

“Are you still upset about last night?”

“Let’s not talk about it now. I’m just glad everything worked out for Joseph and Sara.”

But he doesn’t budge. “I do want to talk about it now. Let’s get this out in the open and discuss it.”

“No. I’m going to take a shower, and I can manage it alone.”

“I know what you’re doing,” he says. “I thought it over while I was at work. You’re purposefully sabotaging things. This is your pattern in relationships. No one ever leaves you, because you always leave them first.”

She clenches her jaw as she gets out of bed. “Don’t presume you know my motives for anything.”

“You don’t want to believe something this good could be real, but it
is
.”

She tries to walk past him, but he’s blocking her way.

“Don’t do this, Lindsay,” he says. “Don’t
ruin
it.”

She looks up at him and sees the apprehension on his face. “Look, we’ve had a great time together. But I can’t give you everything you want and let’s face it, the fact that I look like Olivia is fucking creepy.”

He rolls his eyes with exasperation. “Not this again. Should I find you a photo of her to prove that your resemblance is minimal at best?”

“That won’t be necessary.”

“This is insane.” He rubs his forehead. “You’re not even older than me. You’re four years
younger
. Plus, I’m telling you that you’re
nothing
like her.”

The voice inside Lindsay, the one that always tells her when it’s time to leave, is whispering in her ear. She tries to block it out, but can’t. “There’s too much going on here. Don’t you see? I can’t possibly ask you to give up having children.”

“I told you it doesn’t matter!”

She sucks in her breath at such a bold lie. Her heart races. “But it
does
matter.” She tries to push past him again, but his hand is on her arm, holding her back.

“Please, Lindsay. This is the best thing that’s ever happened to either of us, and you know it.”

“Let go of me.” Her voice shakes. There’s terrible pain in his eyes, but she steels herself against it. She knows it’s possible to love someone too much. She’s witnessed it firsthand.
“Just let me
go!
”

I worried this day would come.

Giovanni wanted to trust the happiness between them, and he did, but he always worried that eventually Lindsay would rip his guts out.

When he came home last night, her things were already gone. Not the furniture, but her clothes and jewelry. That cheap gold wedding ring he bought her in Las Vegas was sitting on the kitchen counter.

He’s devastated—there’s no other word for it—but he has to function. People are counting on him, and that’s no small thing. Compartmentalizing his life is something he’s always excelled at, and thank God for it now, because it’s serving him well.

The next few days are long and arduous. It feels like he’s swimming through lava. He tries to reach her during his breaks in surgery, and then between patients during his clinic hours. Of course, she doesn’t answer her phone or texts, and he wonders if she’s even listening to all the voice mails he’s left. If he had to guess, she’s deleting them. He finally drives to her sister’s bakery during one of his longer breaks on the off chance she’ll be there. The smell of espresso and baked goods surrounds him when he enters.

“Do you know where Lindsay is?” he asks Natalie, who judging by the sympathy on her face, already knows what’s happened. “I’ve been trying to find her.”

Natalie shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I really don’t. You could check her studio. She hasn’t been to the bakery for a couple of days and hasn’t talked much about what’s going on, not even to me.”

“All right.” He nods. “I’ll check there again.” He turns to leave, but she stops him.

“I’m sorry things turned out this way. For what it’s worth, I know she loves you.” Natalie studies him with compassion. “Unfortunately for Lindsay, that might not be enough.”

When Giovanni gets back late that night, he sits on the couch in the living room with her wedding ring in his hand. He’s been carrying it in his pocket. The house is so quiet around him. His chest tightens as he pulls in a deep breath. The last time he cried was when he heard about Paul’s death, and that was a dark day.

He thinks back to the Wikipedia article he read about Lindsay. He was in medical school when that song “Queen of Hearts” came out. They were playing it everywhere on every radio station. It was about a woman who stole hearts and kept them under lock and key.

Little did I know my own heart would someday be one of them
.

After he initially saw the Wiki page, he Googled pictures of her first husband out of curiosity. To his surprise, he found photos of an achingly young Lindsay with her rock singer husband. Candid shots of the two of them together, showing how much they were in love.

Those pictures bothered him, but it was the ones he saw of the rock singer taken after Lindsay left him that bothered Giovanni the most. The guy was
wrecked
. Completely crushed by the divorce, and you could see it in every photo

For days afterward, he couldn’t get those images out of his mind. They disturbed him. He wondered if he was looking at his own future.

Well, now I know
.

It was a surprise to hear about Lindsay’s infertility, and he wishes more than anything she’d told him sooner. He dislikes surprises and couldn’t hide that fact from her. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t wish they could have kids together someday, but he always knew he’d adopt as well. There are too many children in the world who need a good home.

A few days later, his brother convinces him to go out for dinner. The truth is he’s practically living at the hospital. With Lindsay gone, there isn’t any reason to go home.

“Dude, why didn’t you tell me about all this?” Anthony asks. “I had to hear about it from Natalie.”

They’re sitting at an Italian restaurant in an area not far from the university. He and Lindsay came here a couple of times on Anthony’s suggestion, and the food was good.

“I know. I’ve been working a lot.”

Anthony shakes his head and switches to Italian, asking him exactly what’s happening between him and Lindsay.

“I don’t know. There’s not much to tell.” Giovanni looks out the window onto the busy street filled with traffic. “She left me.”

“Yeah, I gathered that. She stayed with us last night.”

“She did?” His eyes flash back to Anthony. “How is she? Is she all right?”

“She looks okay. I wish I could say the same for you. No offense, but you look like shit.”

“Did Lindsay say anything?”

“Not to me.” Anthony chuckles a little. “There’s plenty of conversation, but it all stops as soon as I enter the room.”