Some Were In Time (10 page)

"
You'll pay for that
," he threatened as he took off on the chase.

"
I keep hearing that one tonight
," I squealed as I raced through the woods I knew like the back of my hand.

Being smaller I had the advantage of being able to go under brush as opposed to over. It gave me an edge that I used wisely. As I ran the wind blew through my fur. I felt free, happy and alive. I would miss Hung Island when we left, but I knew we'd always come back.

"
Gaining on you, pretty girl
," Hank huffed inside my head.

"
Maybe
," I shot back, "
but I'm still winning
!"

I whipped past Granny's wolf. She was trotting around with some of her buddies including Lori and Layla. I wondered for a moment if the shop gals had seen Dwayne's striptease and I honestly hoped they hadn't. Poor Layla was liable to loose it.

"
You better run, girlie
," Granny shouted with a gleeful cackle. "
I can hear him coming
."

I came to a clearing and skidded to a halt. I caught the scent of a non-shifter deer and I lost precious seconds. To hunt or not to hunt… that is the question. Unfortunately my brief pause put an end to both choices. Damn that Shakespeare.

Hank jumped me from behind and we rolled down the hill laughing like children. Paws and muzzles and tails were undistinguishable as we tumbled forward all tangled up in each other. We landed with a thud by a gurgling stream.

"
Uncle
?" Hank asked as my wolf lay pinned beneath him.

"
Fine. Uncle
," I huffed. "
But it wasn't ‘cause I actually lost. I scented a deer and my wolf wanted to hunt
."

"
Excuses, excuses
," Hanks said drolly as he let me up.

We went to the stream and drank like we hadn't had water in weeks.

"
God, that was fun
," I said with water dripping from my muzzle. "
I really love being in my wolf form when it's for fun. Not for the job when I'm trying to sniff out a bad guy.
"

"
Couldn't agree more
," he said as he nuzzled me.

"
You wanna hunt
?" I asked as I pressed my side to his.

"
In a minute. Let's just be lazy for a few
," he said as he knocked my paws out from under me, causing me to land on his furry chest.

"
Works for me
," I said as I cuddled with my big wolf. "
Oh my god, I have to tell you about the conversation I had with your mother. It was positively…
"

I stopped on a dime, jumped to my feet and growled low in my throat. Something huge and furry flew over our heads. Hank leapt and tried to yank it out of the air, but it was too fast.

"
What in the hell was that,
" he growled as we went butt to butt and circled, looking for danger.

"I have no idea. Crap
," I snapped. "
Is this something else I missed by skipping Were History
?"

"
Nope
," he answered tersely. "
Wolves do not fly. However, if that was a wolf it was one of the mangiest wolves I've ever seen.
"

Wolves did not fly… but Vampyres did.

If we could get in each other's heads in human form maybe I could tear Dwayne a new butthole in wolf form. It was worth a try.

"
Dwayne, you idiot, is that you
?" I shouted as I scanned the air above me.

"
Yesssssss,
" he squealed. "
And you tell Hank I resent that. I am not mangy. This faux fur cost six thousand dollars
."

"
Tell him he overpaid
," Hank said. "
Wait. Am I hearing Dwayne in my head
?"

"Oh my god
," I yelled. "
Are you
?"

Hank shook his big furry head and stilled. "
Say something, Dwayne
," he said slowly.

"
I think you could pull off gauchos with your ass
," Dwayne volunteered.

"
How is this happening? It's not natural. And I would rather chew glass and swallow it than wear gauchos
," Hank muttered as he paced in tight circles. "
You can hear him too, Essie
?"

"
I can, but I've shared blood with him
," I told Hank.

Dwayne hovered above us and flapped his arms like a bird.

"
Do you have to do that to fly? I didn't think… oh my freakin' hell, Dwayne! Button the bottom of your coat. Your man bits are blowing in the wind
." I groaned as I buried my muzzle in my paws.

"
When did you become such a prude
?" Dwayne huffed as he adjusted his coat.

"
I'm not a prude
," I snapped. "
It's just alarming to look up and see my BFF's weenie and friends bouncing in the breeze
."

"
Fair point, well made
," he said. "
I would find it disturbing to glance up at a faceful of your knockers too
."

"
As appalling as this conversation has gotten, I still want to know how I'm communicating with Dwayne,
" Hank said.

"
I can only guess that because we've both shared Essie's blood we can hear each other
," Dwayne surmised.

It was the only explanation that made any sense. Dwayne floated down and landed gracefully in front of us. Hank was correct. The coat was awful.

"
Did you really pay six thousand dollars for that
?" I asked.

"
Hell to the no
!" Dwayne laughed as he modeled his scary fur. "
Got it at the thrift shop for thirty-two dollars and seventy-five cents."

"
I still say you overpaid
," Hank said as he sat down on his haunches and stared at Dwayne. "
As bizarre as this communication thing is, it may come in handy in Chicago
."

"
Hey now
," I grumbled as I butted Hank with my head. "
We still have about ten hours of vacation left. No talking about our impending deaths.
"

"
You're right baby. I have a better idea anyway
."

"
What's that?
" Dwayne asked as he picked twigs and leaves out of his hairy mess of a wolf costume.

"
How about we go scare the hell out of the Pack with the flying mangy Werewolf
?" Hank's wolf grinned, which would look frightening if you didn't know him.

"
That is fabulous
," I squealed.

"
While I wholeheartedly agree with the devious activity
," Dwayne said with a hand on his hip and his brows raised high, "
if you call me mangy one more time, I will fly over your head and pee on you
."

"
Okay, that's just gross
," I said as I shuddered. "
What if we just call you nappy?
"

"
I prefer kinky
," he informed us with a grin.

"
Of course you do
." I rolled my eyes and chuffed. "
Alright, kinky Vamp, you ready to go have some fun with the wolves?
"

"
Oh my god
," Dwayne shrieked as he levitated and did flips in the air. "
I haven't had this much fun since I went fishing naked in the Bermuda Triangle with Hemingway, some Pygmy fellas and a Were Skunk named Herm.
"

Both Hank and I were smart enough not to touch that one. However, even if we wanted to we couldn't. Dwayne had taken off screaming like a banshee to terrorize the Pack. I realized I hadn't told my BFF about the Were Cows knowing about him, but I didn't want to ruin his fun.

Tomorrow was back to reality. Tonight was for fun.

"
You ready to watch Dwayne make a mockery of our scared rituals
?" Hank inquired as he nipped at my ear.

"
Yep. This will be a night that will go down in history
."

"
God help us all
."

Chapter 7

"Well, would you look at that?" Granny gasped and pulled out her new cell phone that I had gotten for her… the one I swore I wouldn't buy. "When Dwayne sleeps he looks dead."

She started snapping pictures.

"He's always dead," I said as I glanced over my shoulder at my best bud.

Good lord, Granny was right. He was laid out on the backseat of the Hummer like a cadaver without rigor mortis. Dwayne had worn himself out last night. Junior's induction would live in infamy due to the kinky Vamp scaring years off of most of the Pack's lives. A group of teenage boy wolves had taken a chunk out of Dwayne's hind-quarter before they realized he wasn't a hairy flying Demon from Hell. They were mortified and extremely apologetic, but Dwayne brushed it off and healed right back up in less than five minutes. He then entertained the Pack with songs and stories from his time as a pirate. A debilitating and educational time was had by all.

Mrs. Wilson even offered to put Dwayne's faux fur in storage for the next time he wanted to join in on a Pack shift. Needless to say my fellow Werewolves were appalled, but no one questioned Mrs. Wilson. No one.

"I know he's
dead
," Granny said, "but he looks
really
dead."

"Is he?" I asked, alarmed. He couldn't be. I was almost certain Vamps turned to dust when they died. However, since I'd forgone most of my paranormal education because I skipped all my classes, I wasn't entirely sure.

"How in tarnation can I tell? It's not like the boy has a pulse." Granny got up in his face and blew on him.

"What in the name of Christina Aguilera are you doing?" a drowsy Dwayne mumbled as he swatted at Granny's head.

"Making sure you weren't dead, bloodsucker," she answered as she popped him back.

"Considering that I am, I don't really see the point. And you seriously need a mint," he said as he pinched his nostrils closed. "Hank, are we there yet?"

Hank's lips compressed in annoyance and he said absolutely nothing as he maneuvered the Hummer in and out of traffic on our way to Chicago. Of course, before Dwayne had passed out he'd asked the same question of Hank at least thirty times.

"He's not going to answer me, is he?" Dwayne whispered loudly.

"Nope," I told him. "He's not."

"Fine by me, it's a fabulously smooth ride. Are you all enjoying my Hummer?" he asked with an innocent grin.

"Oh my god." I laughed and then groaned. "You totally bought this car so you could legally say hummer all the time without getting in trouble."

"Guilty," he sang and then high-fived Granny.

"Dwayne," Hank said with a chuckle. "We need to talk."

"About Hummers?" he asked.

"Uhhh no, about Were Cows."

"Dear god, did Junior find out more?"

"Yes and no," Hank said as he turned off on an exit and parked the humongous vehicle at a deserted rest stop. "Your name was accidently tied in on an Internet search and the Cows are now possibly aware of you."

Dwayne's silence was scary, but his levitation that plastered him to the ceiling of the car was downright frightening.

"Um, Dwayne?" I whispered. "Can I do anything for you?"

"No, doll, I just need to work out my anger issues for a minute," he replied as if he weren't hanging like a human bat.

"Okay."

"Maybe they're not related to the Cows you married," Granny said as she reached up and patted his kneecap.

"Did we get a surname?" Dwayne inquired calmly as he dangled.

"Yep," Hank said hesitantly.

"Dung?" Dwayne asked even more calmly.

Crap, if the answer was yes, would Dwayne blow off the roof of the car?

"Yes, it's Dung," Hank answered and then held his breath.

"Well, that's suckerific," Dwayne screeched as he dropped from the ceiling to the floor with a thud. "I'm going have to go find them before they find me."

"Why would you do that?" I demanded. "They want you dead."

"True," he said. "But in order for me to have any kind of upper hand, I can't wait for them to ambush me. If anything happened to one of you guys I would have to decapitate myself and that is very difficult."

"Whoa, so you're just gonna go off on your own and kill a bunch of Dungs?" I snapped. "I forbid you to do this alone."

"Essie, you are not the boss of me," Dwayne said with a sad smile.

"I am the boss of everybody," I informed him loudly. "Just ask Hank."