SOMEONE DIFFERENT (2 page)

3 – Jay

That was it then; the chambers were full, the pistol fired, and the bullet sliced right through my head.

Before it happens, you do all that stuff, don’t you? You tell yourself over and over again it won’t go your way. You don’t let yourself think about it being OK for even a second.

And I’d done it all. I’d imagined them saying guilty, I’d imagined what it’d feel like and what I’d do. And yet somewhere, right deep down, some hope must’ve still hung out, because when I heard that verdict, I couldn’t stop my eyes watering.

They weren’t like proper tears; I didn’t show myself up or anything. Nobody else even knew about it. But it took a bit of an effort to hold the sound in and dry my face on my sleeve without anybody noticing.

Billy never blinked. It was like he hadn’t even heard it.

We sat down and I glared at the judge as he read his notes. How many years would he give us? The solicitor’d already warned us it could be ages.

My insides clenched even tighter. I glanced at Billy again, but his eyes were still fixed on the wall opposite.

The judge picked his glass of water up and took a sip that wasn’t worth the effort. Then he looked at us. ‘You have been found guilty of committing a serious crime,’ he said, folding his hands together on the bench in front of him. ‘Your violent and chilling actions caused life-threatening injuries to an innocent person, and it is my duty to pass a sentence that reflects that. However, due to the complexities of your backgrounds and the questions surrounding intent, I am recommending that this court reconvenes tomorrow morning for sentencing, by which time I will be in possession of pre-sentencing reports from the relevant agencies.’

For a second, my shoulders relaxed. We weren’t going anywhere then; well, not tonight. But they soon scrunched back up again as I thought about the following morning and what it’d bring.

A sharp movement from the public gallery made my head twist up. A guy with ginger hair put this dark blue cap on and disappeared through the exit.

‘I would like to thank all the members of the jury for their service on this case.’ The judge’s voice sounded softer now, and I looked back to see him smiling in the jury’s direction. ‘You have, I am sure, arrived at the correct verdict, and as I see time after time, achieved yet another victory for the English justice system.’

We did the ‘court rise’ bit again, and the judge left.

Martin, my Youth Offending worker, came over to me. The solicitor gathered his papers and stood up. ‘So,’ he said to Martin. ‘You need to prepare the pre-sentencing report. And Jayden, you must be back here at ten o’clock in the morning. Your bail conditions still stand, and should you fail to attend, an arrest warrant will be issued and your original sentence increased.’

Billy’s solicitor told him the same thing almost word for word. We walked out together, but then had to split up – one of the bail conditions, see; we weren’t supposed to have any contact with each other outside of court.

Although Martin had been to our house more times than the postman, he still managed to get lost on our estate. Even ‘left’, ‘right’ and ‘straight on’ were a struggle for me as he drove me home though; my head felt like I’d been on weed for a week.

In a way, I wish
he’d just done it there and then; sent us down straight from court. I wish he’d said how long we’d get, and where we’d go, because then I’d know, and my head wouldn’t have been all messed up trying to guess.

When we stopped outside our house, Martin switched the engine off. ‘Do you want me to come in and explain everything to your dad?’

I shrugged.

‘Well, I probably should.’

He followed me down the path and in through the front door. My dad was laid on the settee. He didn’t get up, but he took his fag out and stared at us with his face all screwed up.

‘Martin Swift ...
Jay’s Youth Offending worker?’ Martin had to do that every time he came.

‘Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember. How’s he gone on in court then?’

‘Well, erm, Jay’s been found guilty actually, Mr Harris.’

‘I knew it; I could see it comin’ all along.’ He lifted his bottle of Bud off the floor with the same hand that held the fag, and took a long swig. ‘Would he listen to me though? N
o. Waggin’ school, stayin’ out ’til all hours, smokin’ that stuff and teckin’ them pills. What did he expect? And I suppose that Billy Clayton’s got off scot free?’

Martin started to explain – I don’t know why though, my dad wasn’t listening.

‘It’s called joint enterprise, Mr Harris. Because neither Billy nor Jay would testify regarding which one of them actually committed the offence, they’ve both been found guilty of it.’

‘I warned him about hangin’ around with them Claytons. His dad’s always been a bad un, ever since he were
young. I told him to stay away.’ My dad shook his head then drank from the bottle again. ‘What’s he lookin’ at?’

Martin turned to me and tried to work out which direction I’d been staring in.

I smiled. ‘He means, how long will I get.’

‘Oh, right, I see.’ Martin turned back to my dad. ‘Well, Jay’s solicitor is predicting a sentence of between two and four years.’

My dad grunted and flicked ash on the floorboards. Then his eyes went back to the telly as the adverts finished and Deal or No Deal came back on.

Martin kept trying. ‘It’s really important that Jay attends court tomorrow morning for sentencing. If he receives a lighter sentence he could be released in under a year – but if he doesn’t show up at all, he’ll receive a much longer sentence when he’s re-arrested.’

It took Martin a few seconds to realise my dad wasn’t going to be saying anything else. He jangled his car keys a bit, and said, ‘Right then, I’ll be off. I’ll pick you up in the morning, Jay, about half-past nine.’

‘Thanks,’ I said.

He smiled at my dad, my dad ignored him, and he went.

The light in the kitchen never even tried to flicker on, but the one in the fridge at least made an attempt. I stared at the only two things in there
– the only two consumable things in the whole kitchen actually: Cola and Strongbow. Then, after a few seconds passed and nothing else appeared, I took the Strongbow. If this was my last night out, I might as well make the most of it.

The time on my phone said t
en-past five; nearly two hours ’til my curfew started.

‘Dad,’ I shouted, going back into the living room.

He stared at the telly.

‘Dad!’

‘Eh?’

‘I need some money, to buy somethin’ to eat.’

‘Meck yourself summat.’

‘There’s nothin’ in.’

‘There’s bread.’

‘No, there in’t; there’s nowt.’

‘How much d’you want?’

‘A tenner.’

‘Fuck off.’

‘A fiver then.’

‘Oh, for God’s sake. Go an’ look in my coat pocket – the big one – there’s a couple of quid in there.’ He turned the telly up louder. ‘No more though.’

My dad’s coat was screwed up on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. I rummaged around in the big square pocket at the front, and found a packet of Rizlas, four little blue pens from the bookies, a bit of grey fluff and a handful of coins. As well as all the one and two pences, there were two pound coins, which went straight into my jeans’ pocket.

A loud, ‘Oooh’ came from the telly. I checked he was looking at that and not me, then I moved round ’til I had my back to him and felt in his inside pocket as well. What I brought out, was a crisp, new fiver. My eyes flicked from the coat to the settee; he was still well focussed on the programme. I stared at the note, then closed my fingers around it. Chances were he’d be too pissed to notice ’til he got up in the morning, and by then, one way or another, I’d be gone.

***

Billy and some of the other lads were already hanging around opposite the shops. A long strip of ice had formed on the pavement where somebody’d tipped a wheely-bin full of water out so it’d freeze, and some little kids were sliding down and messing about on it.

It’d started to snow, but not that much, and you could only see the little flakes if you looked up at the streetlights. The smell of kebabs, mixed with the smell of curry, mixed with the smell of pizza, got stronger as I went over and stood with my mates.

‘Alright, Jay?’ one of the boys said. ‘I were talkin’ to that lass you were shaggin’ earlier.’

‘Which one?’

‘That blonde un.’

‘Lexi?’

‘No, thinner than her.’

‘Kira?’

‘Yeah, that’s it.’

‘What did she say?’

‘Think she’s missin’ ya, mate. She asked me if ya were gonna be out tonight.’

Kira; I hadn’t even thought about her for weeks
, what with the trial and everything. I wouldn’t mind seeing her tonight though. I checked the little pocket in the front of my jeans and my fingers found the small, square, foil packet I hoped would be there. Always prepared; that was me.

We hung out with the lads for a bit longer, then I told Billy about the seven quid, and me and him went round to Patsy’s.

A tiny kid with a snotty nose opened the door – I don’t know if it was one of Patsy’s or not – there was a different bunch of kids there every time you went. The kid disappeared back inside and Patsy wandered up to the door dressed in her pyjamas; she only ever wore pyjamas, even when she went round to the shops or took the kids to school.

‘What d’ya want, lads?’

‘Five o’ weed,’ Billy said.

She went into the kitchen and came back a second later with the bag of weed. ‘Any fags?’

‘Nah, I’ve got some, an’ I’ve been tryin’ to cut down all week so it dun’t come as a shock when we get banged-up.’ Billy looked at me and tried to smile.

Patsy took the money, shut the door, and we smoked the spliff as we went back towards the shops.

‘What did ya dad say?’ Billy asked after a bit.

‘Not much. What about yours?’

‘Went off on one like normal. Started goin’ on about murderers and that gettin’ away with stuff all the time. Says he’s gonna come down to court tomorrow mornin’ – that’s all I need innit, him proper kickin’ off?’

I smiled as I pictured Billy’s dad getting done by the judge – half the people I knew’d pay good money to see that.

Then I wondered about the obvious. ‘What d’ya think’d really happen, if we didn’t turn up?’

Billy shrugged. ‘Our Shaun says they’d probably mak
e a big deal about it. It took ’em months to catch up with him when they had a warrant for his arrest, but he says with this bein’ in the papers an’ stuff they’d make sure they got it sorted quick. And we’re still bein’ monitored tonight, aren’t we?’ He got his phone out and started texting somebody. ‘Anyway, where would we go?’

He was right. We had tags round our ankles and about three-fifty between us. Hardly a great start to being on the run.

I took a long last drag and breathed out slowly. ‘D’ya wish we’d never done it?’

He looked at me. ‘Course I do, but we didn’t exactly have much choice, did we? We’ll just have to take what’s comin’ and get on with it.’ His phone beeped to say he’d got a message back, and he looked down at it. ‘Our lass’s on her way round to our house. I hope she’s feelin’ friendly,
cos it’s gonna be a long time ’til I get it again.’

He smirked a bit of a smirk and I smiled back.

‘See ya in the mornin’ then, mate,’ I said, and he headed off home.

It suddenly dawned on me then that I was starving and I hadn’t had anything to eat all day. I spent my last two quid on some chips and a can of Coke, and went back over to where some of the lads were still standing. A couple of girls were there as well by then, and one of them was Kira.

‘Can I have a chip?’ she said, snuggling up close.

I held the bag nearer to her. ‘Have as many as ya want.’

‘Ta,’ she said, smiling, and she started to dig in.

When the chips were all gone, Kira moved round in front of me. She slid her hands into my back pockets and looked up. ‘My auntie Karen’s having a party tonight, why don’t ya come?’

I nodded down at my ankle. ‘I can’t, can I?’

Her hand travelled up the front of my jacket and round the back of my neck. ‘Oh, go on.’