Someone Like You (20 page)

I have been looking for Karthik for quite some time. His phone has been switched off for the last three days and the only time he shows up in college is when he is practises with Tanmay. Tanmay told me that he works on his bike in his workshop—a workshop that Tanmay and I couldn’t find—and when he does that, he really doesn’t like phone calls or texts. He told me that Karthik—even on other days—doesn’t like people who call or text much and has no love for social networking sites.

Karthik has always struck me as an oddball. The day we had gone out, I had seen him carry a broken old phone with a black and white screen. I clearly remember seeing twenty unread messages on his phone. I had thought about asking him about it, but thought it was too personal and I shouldn’t meddle in his life. Actually, his whole demeanour seems to have a board saying
‘STAY OUT’
stuck on it.

Since he was so out of reach, Tanmay asked me to catch him after the practice if I wanted to talk. I had nodded. I have been waiting on the sidelines for two hours now while Tanmay and Karthik have toiled in the late afternoon sun, running, passing and shooting the ball. They are both pouring with sweat and working very hard.

Finally, Karthik throws his hands up in the air and both of
them lie down next to each other, facing the sun and talking animatedly—I assume about football. A little later, they both get up and start walking towards me. I still haven’t framed the questions I want to ask Karthik.

As he walks towards me, he takes off his T-shirt and wipes the sweat off his beautifully muscled arms and chest. I almost blank out. He wears it again and a part of me—a guilty part of me—wants to see him without the T-shirt.

‘You guys talk. I need to go,’ Tanmay says and runs off, leaving the two of us in the middle of the empty field.

Karthik looks at me, with his craggy face—not a single bruise—and I forget my words. It has been three days since his fight with Akshat happened. In the time it took me to get hold of him, my anger got lost somewhere. Seeing him isn’t helping matters either. I try very hard, but can’t find it in me to be mad at him. But he is looking at me, and waiting for me to say something. And I certainly do have a lot of things to say to him. I try to sum it all up in one sentence.

‘I am here just to tell you that what you did that day to Akshat was wrong. And I don’t want you anywhere near me or him,’ I say and turn my back towards him.

‘That’s it?’ he asks as I start to walk away from him.

‘Yes,’ I look back and say.

‘What are you doing? I thought you had more sense. Akshat is an asshole! I thought you knew that, when I saw you ignore him for ages even when he followed you around all the time. You’re making a mistake.’

‘It is none of your freaking business. He is a friend, and I can go out with him if I want. I spend a little time with him once and as soon as I get back, I get to know that you beat him up?’

‘I saw you crying …’ Karthik tries to say something but I cut him off.

‘So? You decided to come wipe my tears? By beating him up? Yes, we had some problems, but we could’ve sorted them out without
your
interference. It was freaking unnecessary. Do you get that?’

‘Oh yes? Guess what—I do
not
agree. You don’t even know him! He is a piece of shit. He deserves it! Can’t you—’

‘LET ME FIND THAT OUT FOR MYSELF!’ I shout back. I don’t know why but all the blood rushes to my head and I find myself very angry at him. ‘Let me live my life. Let me make my own mistakes.’

‘You will regret it,’ he says and looks away.

‘Whatever. You’re acting like you own me. And that’s pissing me off majorly, because you do
not
own me. You do
not
have any right over me. You think you’re the smart one here? The smug one? The guy who plays football, but still isn’t in the team? The vintage bike? Beating guys up? You know what? That must work on other girls, but
not
me! Please don’t even think that. I want you to stay away from me and stop screwing my life over.’

‘I didn’t mean to. I just—’

‘What just?’ I ask, now wanting this conversation to end.

‘I want you.’

‘What?’

‘I want you. You’re who I think about. And I can’t see you destroy yourself with that asshole. You deserve better,’ he says, sounding strangely sincere.

‘Are you kidding me? What do you even
know
about me? And what do you know about
him
?’

‘I know enough to tell you that he is not the guy for you. And it feels right, what we have. I know the difference.’

‘We have nothing! Feels right? You saw me kiss him and beat him up. That’s
not
right. That’s crazy. And I love him. I obsess about him. If anything, I will be with him. And
I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU!’ I lie, for no reason I can think of.

‘You don’t love him,’ he says and steps forward, his eyes firmly on me. I step back.

‘I do.’

‘You don’t love him and you know that. ‘Cause if you did love him, you would have been with him. And if you loved him and didn’t care about me, I would have been lying here with a swollen jaw and a few broken ribs. It’s been three days and I have not been touched by his goons.’

‘JUST SHUT UP!’ I shout and tears start flowing down my cheeks as I find myself running away from him.

‘NIHARIKA!’ he shouts, but I don’t turn back. ‘I—’

I stop running only when I reach the hostel. I look back and think—
Why am I crying? Why does he matter? Why did I not want him to get beaten up? Why did I save him?
I get into bed and try not to think about these questions.
What else did he have to say?

My mind is a tangled mess of conflicting emotions right now. Obviously, Karthik’s outburst meant something, but he is not the kind of guy I see myself with. A guy who beats up other guys is not a quality I desire in the person I am with. The last few days have been tough, and I have found it hard to concentrate. Akshat has been hounding me to meet him, but I know it will only complicate things. He has started accusing me of having feelings for Karthik, and I don’t know if he is right or not. I do feel concerned about Askhat sending some guys after Karthik, but I don’t know if it means anything.

It’s been three hours since I started studying and my head hurts like hell. I have not told Pia anything about what happened with Karthik. She likes Karthik, and I don’t want
people to convince me that he is a nice guy and what he did was right. For me, he is an irresponsible brat who has no respect for other people’s feelings or privacy. Either that or I just don’t want to complicate things.

Tanmay has been pestering us to come for his match but we are in no mood to do so. It’s been warm for the last few days, although it does threaten to rain every now and then.

‘Do you want to go?’ I ask Pia, who has been on her phone texting all morning.

‘It’s too hot, but I think we should. It’s the semi-final, right?’

‘Yes, it is. But we haven’t studied anything and the match is at Tikaram College. That itself is at least half an hour from here.’

‘When’s the match? Six?’

‘No, I think it’s at five,’ I say and check Tanmay’s message to confirm.

‘What?
Five?
Why didn’t you tell me?’ Pia gets up from her bed and starts putting on her clothes.

‘I thought you didn’t want to go.’

‘NO! I wanted to. I mean—we
should
. It’s the semi-finals, after all. He wanted us to come. Let’s go! Don’t just stand there,’ Pia says, in her worn-out yet hot pink track pants and a vest. That was the first thing she could find nearest to her. And it’s in no way any better from what she already had on.

‘Are you sure you are going like that?’ I ask.

She looks at herself and doesn’t realize why I said what I did. Pia never goes out of the room until she is convinced that she will be the best dressed person wherever she goes. But today seems to be an exception. She panics and says, ‘Yes, why? What’s the problem? We need to go. NOW!’

I smile. It becomes obvious that Tanmay means a lot to Pia, more than what he means to me—
a little more than just a friend
. She wants to be there while Tanmay leads our college team to the finals—probably—for the first time in three years.

‘Fine, fine. But it’s already quarter to four; we will never make it in time.’

‘Then let’s just hurry up!’ she shrieks, now paranoid.

‘Or I can ask Akshat to drop us … if he is in college.’

‘CALL him!’

I don’t know why I took his name, but I did, and ended up being pestered and irritated by Pia into calling him. Akshat, the perfect gentleman that he is or tries to be, says that he will be here in five minutes. Pia pushes me out of the room and we wait for Akshat, though the wait is not too long as his big black car screeches to a halt in front of us—in exactly five minutes.

‘Hey,’ he says, looks at me and smiles. ‘Hi, Pia.’

‘QUICK!’
Pia says as she leans into him from the back seat.

‘Okay, fine. Someone seems excited!’ he says and presses the accelerator, bringing the beast to life. The car leaves the campus and he skilfully starts navigating the traffic. He tilts his head towards me and asks, ‘How are you?’

‘I am good. The exam preparation is going absolutely nowhere.’

‘Is that why you are avoiding me?’

‘No, I am not avoiding you. I just have to keep my mind clear for a bit,’ I say.

‘Are you still thinking about him?’

‘No, I am not.’

‘If you say so,’ he says dryly.

‘Why would you say that? I haven’t even talked to him after that incident,’ I lie and I don’t know why.

‘I should have taken care of him,’ he mutters under his breath. ‘That lowlife bastard.’

‘Hey, you are doing nothing of that sort.’ I put a hand on his arm.

‘Why the hell should I not? Don’t I get to get back at him for what he did? You don’t think that’s unfair?’ His voice is rising now, he brows are furrowed and his hand is clenched on the gear box. It always unsettles me to see him like that. It feels like I don’t know him at all. He turns into this completely different person.

‘I don’t know what’s fair and what’s not, Akshat. I just don’t want anyone to fight.’

‘Whatever. You wouldn’t understand what I went through. It was damn humiliating. So many people were there! And that bastard got me from behind.’

‘Can you just let it go? Please? For me?’ I say, trying desperately to calm him down.

‘Whatever,’ he says, his forehead knotted. His anger shows in the way he drives. He honks, skips red lights, swears at other drivers, punches fists at them and drives blindingly fast. As soon as we enter Tikaram College, Pia immediately jumps out of the car and runs towards the football field. From the noise, it looks like the match has already started.

‘What’s wrong with her?’ Akshat asks me.

‘I think she likes Tanmay.’

‘Just like you like Karthik? What’s it about him? Football? His stupid stubble? Tell me? What do you see in him?’

‘I do
not
like him. Will you stop that? What’s
wrong
with you?’ I ask, getting more and more annoyed with him.
Why is every guy around me acting like he owns me?

‘What’s wrong with
me
? What’s wrong with
you
? I still don’t get what’s between the two of you,’ he raises his voice.

‘I think you should calm down.’

‘I SHOULD CALM DOWN? That asshole hit me. And I should calm down? What the hell! I am sure you made out with him, didn’t you?!’

‘You are out of your mind, Akshat. I should go.’

‘You’re
NOT
going anywhere,’ he says and grabs my hand. ‘YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON!’ he shouts.

‘You need to stop shouting first,’ I say. ‘And let me go; you’re hurting me.’

He lets go and I leave the car and walk towards the football field.

‘I am sorry,’ he shouts, ‘but it’s
not
my fault!’

I don’t answer, as I run to the football field. I hear the car come to life and drive away.

‘This is so humiliating, isn’t it?’ Pia shrieks in my ear.