Something Fierce [The Underground 1] (Siren Publishing Classic) (17 page)

“In the long run I’ll just end up hurting you.” He dropped his arm and turned his head to look at her. “How could you want someone like me, Tristan?”

She knew he wasn’t asking her why she wanted to have sex with him, but why she wanted
him
, the man who had revealed his weaknesses and demons to her all those weeks ago. She could tiptoe around what she really wanted to say, or she could just say it and hope he still looked at her with adoration in his eyes.

“I chose you because you are everything I have ever wanted.”

“How could you want someone with such a violent past? How could you want someone that only knows pain? I’m part of an illegal underground fighting ring, for fuck’s sake.”

“Oh, Kash.” She leaned forward and kissed him. Tears pricked her eyes because she knew this one moment would reveal a lot, for both of them. “When you touch me, I only feel pleasure. Everyone has pain and violence in them. It’s a part of life, a part of being human. I can see how lost you are at times and I wish I could wipe it away. I wish I could find you.” He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them she was looking at
him
, the man she loved, not the fighter that hid his emotions and only knew pain and blood. “When I’m with you there is nothing else that matters, nothing else that feels as good.” She brought her body flush with his. He was no longer hard, but this moment wasn’t about them finding pleasure physically.

“I love you, Kash. I. Love. You.” Tristan put her hand on his chest, over his heart, and felt it pound a fast, steady rhythm. He didn’t say anything, just watched her, and she felt uncertainty for expressing her feelings, for opening her heart to him. She wouldn’t be able to handle it if he rejected her. She knew her own heart wasn’t strong enough, not when it came to him.

“Oh, Tristan. My sweet, sweet Tristan.” His breath hitched as he kissed every inch of her face. “I may be the devil, but you’re my angel.” His lips pressed against hers and then there was nothing else but the two of them.

“I don’t know if I have what it takes to love someone, but I do know that what I feel for you is like nothing I have ever felt.” He crushed her to him, kissing the top of her head as he whispered, “I have a darkness inside of me, a darkness that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to be rid of. I know that if you’re by my side maybe I have a chance of seeing light.” When he pulled away, she could see the sadness reflected in his eyes. “I can’t stop fighting. I need that outlet. I need to release this evil that I have harbored inside of me for all these years.” He searched her face, for what she wasn’t sure.

He couldn’t stop fighting. Did she want him to? Was he telling her he couldn’t stop, even for her? Tristan took a deep breath. “I love you knowing what I know. I love you knowing you have to do what you need to, and I accept that. Maybe one day we can take that next step toward finding you a happiness that doesn’t include the horror, blood, and pain.” Their fingers laced together beneath the sheets. “Until that time, until you are ready, I’m here for you.” He squeezed her hand and closed his eyes. For that one moment, when his guard was down, Tristan glimpsed that little boy, the frightened, hurt child that only wanted to be loved and be held. She could do that for him. She could give him as much love as he could handle, and then she would give him more, until he was drowning in it. She wrapped her arms around him and held him. Just held him until he fell asleep in her arms and the only sound was of their mingled breathing. He had let his wall down. It may not have completely crumbled, but he showed her a glimpse into his heart. She knew the rest would come when it was right.

Chapter Twenty-One

It was just like she remembered. The noise, the scent of alcohol, sweat, and blood. Tristan looked around, seeing so many people it made her dizzy. The cement and steel walls that surrounded her should have buckled from all the excitement in the room, but it was like those inanimate objects were just as eager to see what was going to happen.

Not in a million years did Tristan ever think she would be back here. The club was right above her head, the patrons dancing and becoming intoxicated without the slightest knowledge of what was happening right below their feet. She could even smell the exchange of money. Everyone around her wore energized expressions. It was like the idea of watching someone get the shit kicked out of them had them growing hard, aroused, and hungry for more. Even though she knew Kash’s reputation, knew that once he was there, in the arena where nothing else mattered but the pain and violence, he would succeed. She also feared for the man he was to contend with because, although Kash had never showed her the frightening look that he reserved for the ones he fought, she knew he was a force to be reckoned with. The announcer’s voice boomed all around her, and she glanced anxiously at the raised cage.

“I don’t need to boast about his prowess and raw power because we all know the Champion is a fucking machine!” The crowd went fucking crazy, deafeningly loud. “He knocks them to their asses before they know what’s coming, but tonight he may have met his match.”

Tristan’s heart thundered as she looked around. There was no need to worry about him because she had seen how he fought, but the idea of someone just as strong as him as his opponent sent shards of ice through her.

“He’s the new kid in the arena, known to have the punch that knocks them to their knees, but will it be enough to make him the victor tonight?” He raised his voice on the last part and everyone went ape-shit crazy. The walls seemed to bend in from their voices.

“Let’s welcome Adrian, the new kid to the motherfucking cage.”

Tristan stood on her toes and watched an impossibly huge man step out of the darkness, his blond hair cut short to his head and his eyes so blue and piercing she could see them even from her distance. The closer he came, the more her heart pounded behind her ribs. She didn’t think anyone could be fiercer than Kash, but this man was a fucking beast. There was a break in the crowd and Tristan moved to the front. When Adrian passed by, his eyes captured hers. Frigid coldness seeped into her from that one look. This fighter, who was to go against Kash, the man she loved, was far darker than anything she could have imagined. There was no adrenaline pumping through him like there had been with Jackson. Adrian was stone cold, calculating, and not one to fuck with.

“And here he is, the one you have all been waiting for. The one. The only. The Cham-p-ionnnn.”

In that moment, that one, twisted moment where she was about to see two men kick each other’s asses for money and entertainment, Tristan felt pride for Kash. She watched him walk out, his expression closed, guarded. He searched the crowd and when his eyes landed on her she saw warmth enter them. She smiled, letting him know that she loved him and was here. For him. When he turned his attention back to Adrian his face grew cold and hard again. His look of determination settled inside of him and she wrung her hands together, her anxiety slowly climbing to the surface. Maybe it was just her, or maybe everyone knew that what was about to happen was far different than any other fight before, but it was as if the room grew quiet. Did everyone feel what she felt? The slow, steady pulse of what was to come?

Before she knew what was happening they were swinging punches and dodging fists. Adrian was fast despite his impressive size. It was like watching two wild animals corner each other. The only things missing were the growls, the snap of canines, and the swipe of claws. Punch after punch was delivered, but it didn’t seem as if either was willing to forfeit. Blood covered both of their chests as it poured out of their noses and mouths.

Punch. Dodge. Punch. Dodge.

The excitement grew in the room as the ones closest to the crudely made cage shouted at the fighters, yelled at them to do the worst kind of damage. The tension grew and Tristan found herself getting pushed forward. The ones behind her wanted a better look, wanted to smell the fucking blood. A scream pierced the room, and despite the ruckus of the people that were crammed inside, Tristan heard it clear as day. She saw a moment’s hesitation from Adrian, but then he was swinging his fists again. Another scream filled the air. It was clearer, more high-pitched. Closer. Did no one else hear the cry of distress? She was surprised she had heard it given the noise filling the room, but it was distinct. Kash and Adrian had stopped swinging at each other and both breathed heavily. Tristan couldn’t help but see the strained look in Adrian’s bloodied face. Kash was still on alert. Smart man. Maybe this was all a ruse from Adrian? Maybe he intended to get Kash unaware?

When the scream rent through the air again Tristan looked behind her. Now she realized why she had heard it so clearly, yet it seemed muted. A young woman, a waitress by the looks of the small apron wrapped around her waist and the small black tray that lay by her feet, cried and screamed as two men touched and grabbed her. Horror washed through Tristan. Memories of that night came crashing back and she grew dizzy. Why was no one helping her? By the looks of nearly everyone in the room, their glazed-over expressions spoke of far too much to drink, but still, no one felt the need to help her. She took a step toward the woman, not caring that she was half the size of the poor girl’s attackers.

Before she could take another step someone pushed her to the side and charged toward the trio. It took her a moment to realize that the huge muscular back charging forward was Adrian. She stumbled back and arms wrapped around her waist. She fought, feeling the remnants of that night crashing in on her. She struggled, but when she heard Kash’s deep voice in her ear, telling her everything was okay, he would protect her, she stilled. When her mind came back to the present she looked in front of her again, saw Adrian slamming his fist into one of the waitress’s attackers, and watched as the other man came forward, intent on helping out with the carnage. Instinctively she took a step forward, knowing she would be useless as help, but wanting to do something and not just watch what was happening. The girl was huddled on the floor, her hands covering her face. Tristan wondered why she wasn’t running. Was she in shock? Was she hurt?

The man jumped on Adrian’s back, trying to choke him, but not getting very far. He was easily half the size of Adrian and struggling to hold on. It was as if Adrian didn’t even know there was a human being wrapped around his body as he repeatedly hit the other man who now writhed on the ground.

Kash turned her around and pegged her with a hard look. “You stay right here, Tristan. Do you hear me?” His face bloody and one of his eyes slightly swollen, he still managed to look beautiful.

Tristan looked back at the small woman huddled on the floor and then back at Kash. “I need to go to her.” He stared at her for several long seconds and then grabbed her hand. He pushed people out of his way, but soon they parted for him, as if they knew what he was capable of.

“You stay right here and if anyone fucks with you, scream bloody fucking hell.” He dipped down and kissed her. “I’ll hear you. I’ll always hear you and I’ll be there. I promise.” Without another word he moved with purposeful strides to where Adrian was.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Tristan saw more people joining in on the fight, the alcohol fueling their own need to have a little taste of the rush. Adrian was a big guy, but there were too many of them, more than he could handle. She now knew why Kash had to go to him. Another little piece of his wall was coming down. He may have just been in a bloody match with Adrian, but he felt the need to help him. That part of him that depended on no one, that person that only looked out for himself, was slowly crumbling. She liked to think she had a little hand in his willingness to accept things around him, accept the things he couldn’t change, but how could she ever know? Maybe one day he would fully open up to her and let her into his heart.

She didn’t waste any more time as she rushed over to the crying girl. The mob of people had now started congregating around the fight, and with her small body curved into itself, she went unnoticed. Tristan crouched in front of her and placed her hands on her shoulders. The girl shrank away for a moment and when Tristan refused to remove her hands the girl slowly lifted her head. Big, blue, tear-filled eyes met hers. A wave of relief passed over the girl’s face when, Tristan assumed, she realized it wasn’t another attacker.

“Are you okay? Can you stand?” She nodded and they both started to rise. Tristan wrapped her arm around the girl’s shoulder, bringing her close and trying to project calm in an otherwise chaotic scene. “Everything will be okay.”

The girl sniffed and wiped the tears from her face. “I need to get out of here. I’m so stupid for agreeing to come down here.” Her voice cracked on the last part.

Tristan glanced around, trying to see if there was any way out. Bodies were crammed shoulder to shoulder and the two of them were in the thick of it. She knew what she had told Kash, and knew he would be furious if she were to not stay put, but she could see the fear in the young girl’s eyes. It was tangible and brought back too many memories. She glanced back to the fight, hoping Kash was okay, but not being able to see anything over all the people. It was then that Tristan realized they were slowly getting pushed farther back as more people tried to get a closer look.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” The girl kept apologizing frantically. Her hands covered her eyes, but Tristan could see the tears streaming from beneath them. Those men had to have really messed with her or there was an underlying issue that caused this girl to act like this. She had a strong suspicion it was the latter. There was no way she could let her stay down here any longer.