Somewhere Only We Know (8 page)

"Maybe you should follow his lead. It's been a few years since Leanne died, hasn't it?"

"Yes, it has."

"Do you think you'll be able to fall in love again?"

He looked into her eyes and had the strange feeling that was already happening.

"Someday," he said shortly. He opened the door to the stable office and ushered her inside, happy to put an end to what was turning out to be a very personal conversation. As a teenager, Maddie had always asked him the tough questions, challenged him about his attitudes, his feelings. She'd never been afraid to call him out. It had been a while since he'd been with anyone like that, especially a woman.

He and Leanne had had a completely different kind of relationship. They'd been very compatible and in some ways very alike. There'd been no reason to challenge each other. They'd always been on the same side—until a few weeks before she died when suddenly they seemed to be at odds over the smallest things. He'd chalked it up to the wedding plans. Leanne had wanted a big wedding, and while he'd gone along with most of her ideas, he'd started to balk at over-the-top suggestions like filling the pond at the country club with live swans or leaving the ceremony in a horse-drawn carriage.

His friends had laughed and told him to relax and just let it all happen. The wedding was for the woman. His job was to let her do whatever she wanted. But it had started to feel as if Leanne was more interested in the wedding than in the actual marriage. Things had gotten so strained between them he'd actually talked to her about calling the ceremony off, reconsidering what they really wanted. Leanne had cried at the suggestion. He'd hurt her, and he'd felt bad, but he'd also felt like someone needed to cut through all the bullshit and figure out what was going on with them.

Unfortunately, that hadn't happened, and one of the last conversations he'd ever had with Leanne had been punctuated by her tears.

His gut twisted at the memory. He'd had to live with his words for a long time, and he'd given up trying to wish them away. He'd said what he'd said, and he hadn't been wrong, but his timing had definitely been bad.

"We're all set," Maddie said, turning to him with a happy smile. "I told them to make sure you have a good horse."

"Great."

They walked out to the stables. A few minutes later, he mounted a beautiful gray horse while Maddie hopped onto a chestnut horse that pranced restlessly, eager to get on the trail. A young man named Derek came up next to them and told them he would be their guide. All they had to do was follow along behind him.

Burke hoped his horse was on board with that idea, because he had a feeling that wherever his horse wanted to go, that's where they would be going.

"Do you want to go second?" Maddie asked.

"I'll follow you."

"Okay." Maddie nudged her horse into a walk, falling in behind Derek with Burke bringing up the rear. It seemed awkward at first, but once he got into the rhythm of the ride, he started to relax and enjoy the view.

They first trekked across a wide grassy meadow heading toward the ocean, then down a narrow path to the beach. There were two guys and a dog playing football near the water, but otherwise the beach was empty. The sea was a sparkling blue, sunbeams bouncing off the waves, but the prettiest view was right in front of him.

Maddie's long blonde hair flew out behind her as she encouraged her horse into a faster trot. She was totally immersed in the riding experience. He doubted she even knew he was behind her.

He found himself urging his own horse into a gallop. He wanted to keep up with her, and as they flew down the beach, he felt more alive than he had in a very long time. The sea, the sun, the wind and the amazingly powerful animal that ran so effortlessly through the sand actually made him feel like he was flying. Maddie was right. It was a freeing experience.

He was leaving the past behind, forgetting about his problems, throwing off the pressures of work and life and constantly trying to do the right thing, be the best he could be. He'd been so focused for so long he'd forgotten what it was like to let go, relax, just breathe. This ride was exactly what he'd needed.

He hoped the experience was making Maddie feel better, too. She'd had a rough time the last year, and the past two days hadn't been good, either. She was trying hard to put on a brave face, but she was reeling on the inside, shocked that she'd ended up out on the street after she'd thought she was making a change for the better. She'd barely held it together when they'd left her apartment with all of her life dumped into a few big garbage bags. But she had fought off the tears. In typical Maddie fashion, she'd squared her shoulders, lifted her chin and kept on moving. He couldn't help but admire that.

Ten minutes later, Derek headed off the sand, leading them up a winding dirt path, finally bringing them to a halt on a secluded bluff about fifty feet up from the crashing waves below.

As he came up next to Maddie, she flung him a smile of pure joy, her green eyes bright, her cheeks red, her lips pink and parted with pleasure.

Something inside of him turned over. He could almost hear the ice around his heart cracking.

"Wasn't that amazing?" she asked. "Have you ever had this much fun in your life?"

He stared back at her. "No, I don't think I have."

Her expression sobered as her gaze clung to his for a long minute. "Then you were due," she said lightly.

"I was," he agreed.

She looked out at the sea. "I feel like we're in our own private world, a place only we know."

"Well, us and our friend," he said, tipping his head to Derek, who'd moved a few feet away to give them some privacy. He was texting someone on his phone and not paying any attention to the magnificent view in front of them.

"True," she said with a laugh. "But you know what I mean."

He did know what she meant, because Derek barely registered on his radar. This moment belonged to Maddie and him.

It was crazy to think that twenty-four hours ago he didn't know she was about to come back into his life. But that was Maddie. She always showed up when he least expected it. She usually left pretty quickly, too. This time was different. This time she was planning to stay—at least he thought she was. She was still figuring out her next move, and hopefully that move would be in San Francisco. He was never ready to say goodbye to her, but he felt even less inclined to do that now. They were just getting to know each other again. He wanted that to keep going for a while.

Maddie let out a sigh. "I wish we could stay out here forever. I feel like my problems are a million miles away."

He felt exactly the same way. "I know what you mean." He shifted in his seat as his horse bent down to eat some grass. "I think the horses might get hungry, though."

"Always so pragmatic. Are you ready to go back?"

"Not yet." He wasn't ready to go back to the barn or to his life. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he didn't know what he wanted to do next.

Actually, that wasn't true. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to take Maddie's hand, breach the gap between them, taste her sweet lips.

He also knew that he shouldn't do that, because one taste wasn't going to be enough.

Maddie gave him an odd look, as if she could read his mind.

He started to lean in, thinking he'd spent all of his life doing what he should do. Maybe it was time for a change.

Unfortunately, Derek took that moment to bring his horse over and ask them if they wanted a picture.

Maddie, of course, said yes, and extended her hand. He took it, happy to have at least one part of his fantasy come true. As her fingers curled around his, the rest of the ice around his heart melted away.

Chapter Six

It was after one o'clock when they got back to the barn. Maddie was a little sad that the ride was over. She gave her horse's nose a loving pat as she got off. The horse whinnied and nudged her hand, asking for more.

"I think you made a friend," Burke said, walking over to join her.

She smiled as Derek led her horse back to its stall. "She was a good ride. She liked to run. Your horse did, too."

"She needed a little more urging than yours."

"Maybe she was taking her cue from you."

"Possibly," he conceded. "So, I'm starving. What about you?"

"I could definitely eat. I saw a café down the road on our way in."

"Let's check it out," he said, falling into step with her as they walked out to his car. "Thanks for sharing your gift certificate with me. It was an experience I will not forget."

"I'm glad you had a good time. I wasn't sure you would."

"I wasn't sure, either, but it was better than I expected."

She laughed. "It's nice when things go that way instead of the other way."

"Very true."

The café was a mile down the highway and had a beautiful deck overlooking the ocean. After ordering at the counter, they took their drinks to an outside table and sat down. It was past the lunch hour, so they had the deck to themselves.

"It's difficult to believe it's January," she said. "It's seventy degrees and not a cloud in the sky."

"It's California."

"I have missed this state." Out of all the places in the world she'd traveled, there was nothing that made her feel as happy as this part of the California coastline.

"Maybe you should have come back sooner."

"I definitely could have skipped the Vegas part of my travels."

"Where else have you been in the last decade?" he asked.

She winced at the question. "The word
decade
makes me feel really old."

"You're two years younger than me," he said dryly. "So let's not talk about who's feeling old. I know you went to San Diego State and you were in Paris on your twenty-first birthday. Then where did you go?"

"After I finished my study abroad and graduated from college, I decided to stay in Europe and travel with two other girls. We lived in hostels, met some great people, took the train everywhere we could think of. It was quite an adventure. After six months, one of the girls went home, and then it was just the two of us. We decided to leave Europe and go down under. We went to Australia and New Zealand and managed to snag a work visa there for a year." She paused in her story as the waiter set down their food. She'd opted for a turkey club while Burke had ordered a tri-tip sandwich.

"What did you do for a job?" Burke asked a moment later.

She swallowed the first bite of her sandwich. "This is good. How's yours?"

"Perfect."

"I waited tables in a café," she said, answering his earlier question. "I tried to get into the kitchen whenever one of the cooks was sick or late, which wasn't as often as I liked. The girl I was traveling with fell in love and went back to the states to get married, so it was time for me to move on, too. I decided to go back to Europe and really learn how to cook. I spent some time in France at a cooking school there. Then I went to Italy and spent two years traveling and cooking my way through the country." She paused. "Am I boring you yet?"

"Not at all. Keep going."

"After Italy, I went to Boston and got a job in a restaurant there for a couple of years. Then it was on to New York where I worked as a sous chef. I was doing that when I ran into you in Times Square four years ago. It was a good job, but the restaurant changed hands and the new owner brought in his own staff, so I was sent packing. I left New York and headed for India."

"Why India? Wait—it was on the bucket list."

"Yes, it was. Dani and I had always talked about India. It seemed like a romantic and exotic place. So I went to New Delhi and learned how to do yoga and make every kind of curry imaginable."

Burke shook his head, amazement in his eyes. "You're a gypsy."

"I was a gypsy. I liked traveling, meeting new people, trying new things. Every day was an adventure. But after I passed thirty and then thirty-one, I started to feel like it was time to do something else." She took another bite of her sandwich, remembering how indecisive she'd felt. "After leaving India, I wanted to try somewhere else that was new, so I went to Las Vegas. You know the rest."

He nodded, tilting his head to the right as he gave her a thoughtful look.

"What?" she asked.

"Las Vegas wasn't a random choice. It was the last place on the list, wasn't it?"

She shifted a little uncomfortably under his piercing gaze. "Maybe."

"No maybe about it. You ran out of Dani's dreams."

"Not just Dani's dreams; mine, too," she reminded him. "I wasn't living her life. I was living the things we'd talked about together. It's important for you to get that."

"I get that, but like you said before, you wouldn’t have done some of those things if you hadn't done them for her."

"That's true, but it was good I did them, because every experience was life-changing in some way—even the bad ones."

"Was getting a husband on the list? Having children? Buying a house with a white picket fence?"

She frowned, seeing where he was going with his questions and not wanting to go there with him, but she also didn't see any point in lying about it. "Dani and I did put those on the list."

"That's why you got engaged after two months," he said with a satisfied nod, as if he'd just figured everything out. "You wanted to check the final items off the list. It was time to settle down, get married, have kids."

"That is not why I got engaged, Burke. I fell in love."

"Did you, Maddie?"

"Yes. Why would you doubt that?"

"There was something in your eyes when you said you hit thirty and thirty-one and felt like it was time to settle down somewhere."

"Everyone feels that way when they hit their thirties. Didn't you get engaged around thirty-one?"

"We're talking about you."

"Aren't we
done
talking about me?" she asked, a little exasperated with his intense questions.

"Not yet."

"What do you want from me, Burke?"

"I want you to admit that Paul was another checkmark on the bucket list."