Song of the Blackbird (Albatross Prison #1) (31 page)

“You’re taking Phineas?”

“Yes. You don’t mind, do you?”

Maxim cast a longing glance at the bird. “Of course not. He was yours to begin with.” He touched the birdcage with one finger. “But make sure you give him plenty of fresh water. And he likes berries. But only the black ones.”

“Black?”

“Yes.” Maxim cleared his throat. “He likes them overripe and cut into little pieces.”

“For someone
not
good and
not
kind, you know a lot about what pleases a bird,” Emma said, her heart overflowing with love for the stubborn, pigheaded man. An idea suddenly took root in her mind. A brilliant notion of how to have Maxim stay in her life.

“It’s what he eats,” Maxim said, clearly not liking her comment. “Here. Take him if you want.” He gently lifted the cage and handed it to her. “Make sure you don’t drive too fast. You might scare him.”

“Okay. I’ll drive extra slow.”
The poor man looked like he was giving up his firstborn child.
“He’ll be fine, Maxim. But in case I run into problems, do you mind if I call you? I’ve never taken care of a bird before.”

“Sure.” He paused and brushed a hand through his hair. “Wait. No. It’s better if we make a clean break.”

“I see. You’re right.” Emma faked a deep sigh. “I guess I’ll depend on the vet or maybe the Internet. The Web’s always full of good ideas of how to do things. I’m sure I can scrounge around for information on bird care. And I could always wing it if I have to.”

Maxim’s face turned a peculiar pasty color. “His vet is Dr. Geary. On River Street. Corner of Lincoln. I’m sure he can help you out.”

“Thanks.” Emma forced out a smile.
“Good-bye, Maxim. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.”

“That’s it?” he asked, his face tight with emotion.

“I guess so.” How she longed to throw herself into his arms and kiss away the desolation etched on his face. But she had to be patient for her plan to work. She gripped the birdcage and straightened her shoulders. “Take care of yourself.”

“You, too.”

Emma turned and put one foot in front of the other, flicking a glance at Phineas now and then as she walked out of the garden. It was tempting to look back, to check if Maxim was watching her but she had to keep moving. To let him know she was willing to follow his lead. To appear to cut him out of her life the way he wanted. Would the stubborn man run after her? Would he realize that no matter what, they belonged together? That she was never going to give up on him?

Oh, how her heart yearned for him to chase after her. To raise a protest, to tell her he couldn’t live without her, to gather her back into his arms where she belonged. But no. None of that happened, of course. Maxim was too honorable and hardheaded for his own good. Emma made it back to her car without any hindrance. She placed Phineas in the front passenger seat and snapped a seat belt around his cage. Her plan had to work. She had to win Maxim back. Any other outcome didn’t bear contemplating.

Chapter 35

Watching Emma walk away from him was the hardest thing he’d ever endured, Maxim was sure of it. He’d never expected her to visit. Sure, he’d had some wishful thinking, instructing Ana to let her in if she called on him. But that was in the beginning, right after he’d gotten out of the hospital. Before his hopes had crumbled during the last few days of endless waiting.

She’d looked so lovely, young and innocent. But she was thin. Even thinner than he remembered. Maxim cursed, wishing he’d reminded her to eat more. The grief had caused her to lose weight. Another fault to add to his long list of sins. And how could she have forgiven him for her brother’s death? She was too generous, too selfless. And definitely too good for him. He’d almost killed her because of his inability to trust. Maxim rubbed a hand over his bandaged shoulder and grimaced.
Christ.
The bullet had been meant for her. It was only by the sheerest of luck that he’d arrived in time. His body broke out in a cold sweat.

No way was he going to tempt fate again. Violence and death followed him everywhere. How could he live with himself knowing he was a risk to her very safety? The pain of losing her would be unbearable. Why take the risk? It was safer to let her go. She deserved to find happiness with someone else. She loved him, which was a miracle in itself, but she was still young. Her whole life lay ahead of her, a life better off without him.

But dear God, how he’d been tempted. Especially when she’d wrapped her arm around him. When she’d rested her lovely head on his chest, when she’d confided she wanted him and no one else.
Yes!
He had wanted to shout. He’d felt on top of the world, stronger and taller than the highest mountain. But one glance at the blackbird had dashed all his hopes. That had been her brother’s bird. And he’d killed her brother. He’d failed her. He had no choice but to push her away. It was for her own good.

But she’d absconded with the blackbird.
How could the woman be so cruel?
Phineas was his single link to her, the only part of her he’d allowed himself to have. And she’d taken Phineas, snatched the bird right out of his life. So he was left with nothing, just distant memories and an aching heart.

***

“Come on, Phineas,” Emma pleaded later that night as she tried to coax some berries into the bird’s mouth. “You haven’t eaten anything for hours. The vet said you should get at least two meals a day. I got it overripe like Maxim said. And I chopped it, too.”

Phineas perched in his cage, his eyes dull and lifeless as he stared blankly ahead. His little bowl of water lay untouched on the cage floor.
What the heck was wrong?
She’d only been kidding when she’d told Maxim she needed his help. She thought she could play it out. Make him wait a few anxious days, letting him see how much he missed her before she made that phone call. Before she’d ask for his help with Phineas.

Of course he would have come over. He loved the bird and would have rushed over in a heartbeat if she’d told him Phineas needed help. She’d felt bad about the ruse but she was desperate. She had to try something, anything to keep him in her life.

At least that had been the plan. A stupid, childish one, Emma admitted but it had been better than nothing. Still, how could it have unraveled so quickly? It wasn’t days but hours and she didn’t have to fake any symptoms. No, indeed, her poor blackbird looked miserable and sick right now. Where were his bright eyes? His sweet birdcalls? Nothing. Not even a chirp had he let out since she’d carried his cage into her studio that afternoon.

Emma had even visited the vet to obtain some advice and bird food. She’d bought the seeds Dr. Geary had recommended, but Phineas had soundly rejected them. The little pieces of fresh berries she’d chopped also lay untouched on his dish. She’d even attempted feeding him with her hand, all to no avail.

“Come on, little one.” Emma touched his bowl of water. “At least drink something.”

Phineas didn’t pay any attention and just shut his eyes, his body completely still. Was he sleeping? Or was he sick? Dr. Geary had instructed to give him at least a few drops of water every few hours. But he’d ingested none. Had she hurt him by removing him from Maxim’s care? He’d been so lively that morning, chirping and hopping from one place to the next. Now he looked the opposite, all worn out and beaten.

She had no choice but to call for help. This was all her fault. She shouldn’t have taken the bird away from Maxim.

He picked up on the fourth ring.

“Maxim?” she asked, her voice breaking.

“Emma? What is it?”

“Please help. I think he’s dying. Can you come?”

“Who’s dying?” Maxim’s voice rose a notch. “Emma, what is it? Are you okay?”

“It’s Phineas. He’s not eating or drinking anything.” Emma bit her lip and tried to steady her voice. “I should have left him with you.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be right there.”

But he lived far away, not arriving until a full hour later. One of the longest hours of her life. At last, he knocked. She yanked the door open and pulled him into the studio, her heart pounding.
Dear Maxim.
He looked so solid and dependable, dressed in the same jeans he’d worn this morning. He’d thrown a gray sweater on top of his shirt but was still wearing the sling. How she longed to bury herself in his arms, but poor Phineas needed him more at the moment.

“He hasn’t moved since I called you.” Emma hastily led Maxim to the birdcage. “Is he sleeping or do you think something’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know. It’s hard to tell.” Maxim opened the cage and placed two pieces of berry onto his index finger. “I used to feed him like this when I first brought him home from the vet.”

Phineas snapped his eyes open, blinking at the sight of Maxim’s finger before swinging a long look at Maxim’s face. Slowly but surely, he bent his head and pecked at the first piece of berry.

“Oh, Maxim, you did it!” The breath whooshed out of Emma’s lungs. “He never did that for me. I tried everything.”

“Seriously?” Maxim lifted the bowl of water and coaxed Phineas to drink a few drops. He deposited more pieces of berry on his finger and over the next ten minutes patiently fed the blackbird all the tiny bits.

“He obviously prefers you to me.” Emma smiled as Phineas swallowed the last fruit bit.

“Well, it’s your first day with him.” Maxim stood and watched the bird for another few moments. “He looks okay now. Do you have enough blackberries for him?”

“Yes.”

“Good. You can feed him later.” Maxim glanced around the room before clearing his throat. “It’s pretty late. I should head off.”

“But what about Phineas?” Emma asked, her heart sinking.

“What about him?”

“I can’t take care of him.”
And you can’t go
.
Not yet.
She tugged at her pendant. “Can you stay and help me?”

“Stay?” Maxim’s eyebrows drew together. “No, of course not. Feed him the way I showed you. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“But I tried that today. He wouldn’t eat.”

“Then let me take care of him. I’ll bring him home and keep him until the vet takes the dressing off.”

“But I’ll miss seeing him every day.”
And I’ll miss seeing you even more.
Emma’s heart felt like it was going to crack.

“You’ll see him again. As soon as the bandage comes off, I’ll release him back to the wild. I promise.”

Emma let out a little whimper. Her plan wasn’t working on so many levels. Here they were, alone in the middle of the night. She’d shown Maxim how much she needed him and still the man wanted to leave.
Was there no hope for them?
If he departed with Phineas, she was sure that was the last she’d ever see of him except for maybe at work, where he’d probably do his best to stay out of her way. And she wasn’t even sure she’d be returning to Albatross. This might be her last time with him.

Emma stumbled to the nightstand and brushed an unsteady finger back and forth over the urn.
Sam. Help me. What am I going to do? Should I let him go with Phineas?
She knew in her heart the answer was yes. Phineas deserved the best chance to recover and fly.
The best chance.
Her finger froze.
That was it.
She’d found the answer. It’d been right in front of her all along.

Emma swung around, her heart pounding.

Maxim stood a mere two feet away. “That’s your brother’s urn?” he asked, his voice strained.

“Yes. I didn’t know where else to keep it.”

“Most people bury it or scatter the ashes.”

“Well, I haven’t decided what I’ll do with it yet.”

“I see.” Maxim scrubbed a hand over his face. “I really need to go. Can I take Phineas with me? I promise I’ll take good care of him.”

“Can we talk about us first?”

“I already told you.” Maxim shook his head, a shutter falling over his face. “There’s no us.”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to take care of Phineas, at least until his bandage is off?”

“Yes. So? What does that have to do with us?”

“Everything, Maxim.” Emma swallowed.
She had to make him understand.
“You’re the only one who can take care of Phineas. I can’t do it. Even the vet didn’t offer much help.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Don’t you see? Phineas needs you like I need you. You’re his best chance of survival. He responds only to your voice, to your touch. No one else will do. It’s the same with me.”

“You’re being overly dramatic.” Maxim’s voice softened. “You’ll find someone else, Emma. Someone who can make you so much happier than I can.”

“Phineas opened his eyes and ate because you were the one feeding him. He won’t respond to anybody else.”

“He’s a bird. He doesn’t know anything.”

“Are you sure?” Emma placed a hand on Maxim’s arm, praying she could get her point across. “Animals have instincts. They know who’s good and who’s bad. Who they can trust and who they can’t. Phineas obviously knows he can trust you. Because you’re good. And kind. And worthy.”

“You’re being ridiculous. He’s only a bird.” Maxim stepped back but his voice was uncertain, as if he dared not believe what she was saying.

“Look at him. His eyes are following you everywhere you go.” Emma ushered Maxim toward the cage, hoping to demonstrate exactly what she meant. “All afternoon, he barely moved. He just kind of stared ahead, not eating or drinking. As soon as you step in and he hears your voice, he chirps up. See how bright his eyes are now? And look, he’s even drinking more of the water. He knows you, Maxim. You’ve taken really good care of him the past couple of weeks and he trusts you. Like you’ve taken great care of me and I trust you. You have so much good in you, Maxim. I wish you could see it.”

“Do you really believe that?” For the first time, a sliver of hope dawned in Maxim’s eyes.

“Of course I do. I love you, Maxim. You’re the only man for me.”

“Oh God, Emma.” Maxim pulled her up against him, his face raw with emotion. “Are you sure? I’m so afraid of hurting you. I’d die if anything happens to you.”

“You’ll hurt me more if you let me go.” Emma wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed with all her might. “I need you, Maxim. I couldn’t survive without you.”

“But what if something happens to you? I’d never forgive myself,” he murmured against her hair.

“That’s the risk I’m willing to take.” Emma cupped his beloved face between her hands. “Something bad can happen to me anywhere, anytime. But with you, I believe I have the best chance of survival. The best chance of happiness. You’re strong and kind and everything that I need. Everything that I want.”

“Christ, Emma. You bring me to my knees, you know that?” Maxim lifted her against his body and leaned his forehead against hers. “Thank you for giving me your heart. It’s more precious to me than anything in the world.”

“So don’t give it back,” Emma whispered against his lips. “It’s yours. For now and always.”

“Mine.” Maxim pressed his lips hard against hers. “I’m never going to let you go after this. You know that, right?”

“Right. I’m counting on that.”

On-ke-kaaangh. On-ke-kaaangh
.

“Looks like our friend’s counting on it, too,” Emma added.

They turned as one to look at the blackbird and found him gazing at them, his eyes now bright and full of life.