Songs in Ordinary Time (48 page)

back. “But how would I know?” His mouth moved close to hers. “How on earth would I know, dear lady?”

B
enjy was halfway down the stairs when he stopped, surprised to see Omar asleep on the couch, where he must have spent the night.

“Take him somewhere,” he heard his mother saying as she stood at the counter wrapping sandwiches for herself and Norm to take to work.

“Where?” Norm asked from the table, his mouth full of cereal.

“I don’t know. Anywhere. You’re his brother and you never spend any time with him. He’s alone too much.”

“Then why are you letting him quit swimming lessons?” Norm shot back.

“Just because
he
said so?”

Wincing, Benjy froze on the steps.

“Because he’s a nervous wreck,” his mother said. “He almost drowned.”

“And next time he probably will if he doesn’t learn how. He’s got to—especially if he’s afraid. Mom, you’re the one that taught me
that
!”

“Look, Norm, right now I can only do so much, do you understand?”

“No! No, I don’t. Not about something as important as that, anyway,”

Norm said, his voice rising.

In the pause, Benjy held his breath.

“Okay, I’ll tell you what,” his mother said. “After work today you take Benjy to the lake and
you
teach him how to swim!” Her car keys jingled, and she opened the door.

“The lake! But at night just couples go there, Mom! Dates!”

“Just do it!” she ordered, then rushed out to the car.

“Yah, so you can do it with the peddler,” Norm muttered, hurrying after her so he wouldn’t have to walk to work.

Benjy glanced down at Omar, embarrassed to see him awake. He must have heard what Norm had just said.

“C’mere, son,” Omar said as he sat up. “You know there’s other things to do at the lake besides swimming.” He reached for his pants and took five dollar bills from his pocket. “Here,” he said, winking. “Maybe with this you can call your own shots.”

It was late afternoon. Alice had left for work and Benjy was in the backyard. There was still an hour left before he met Norm at his mother’s office for their trip to the lake. Over in the Klubocks’ yard Louie and a friend were on their knees pushing trucks through the grass. Klubocks’ dog came toward him, limping the way he did when he first got up. “Good boy,” Benjy said, rubbing his flanks. If it was his dog he’d let him live in the house and not outside all year long. He threw a stick and the dog dove into the deep grass, then raced back with it. He found a dingy tennis ball in the washing machine box, and he threw it high in the air. It hit the ground and bounced, and the dog leaped straight up and caught it. He took the slimy ball from the dog’s mouth and threw it as far as he could toward the woods. The dog shot after it.
Look at that
, he thought, smiling. All he needed was some attention to SONGS IN ORDINARY TIME / 233

make him think he was a young dog again. A few minutes passed; then the dog came trotting back with something flopping in his mouth. Stepping closer, he saw that it was a shoe, a stained leather shoe. Earlie’s shoe, he knew from the smell. “Give it to me!” he cried, trying to pry it from the struggling dog’s muzzle, but the dog wanted to play. “I said give it to me!”

he repeated, and when the dog continued to pull away, he slapped the side of his head as hard as he could. The dog growled and he yanked away the shoe. The smell was so disgusting that he had to hold his breath to keep from passing out as he threw it into the garage and locked the door. When he turned around, the dog was gone.

“You hit my dog!” Louie was shouting from his yard. “I’m gonna tell my mother on you, and you’re gonna be in big trouble!”

Convinced that the dog had returned to the woods for the dead man’s other shoe, Benjy ran down the street. No, no, no, he panted, needing to outrun that dark mass of swelling flesh, the secret rooted in his brain. He didn’t stop until he was downtown.

He turned the corner to the sporting goods store, grateful that Mr.

Briscoe’s car wasn’t in the parking lot. He hurried through the dim warehouse to his mother’s office. Astrid smiled as he stepped inside. In the spill of fluorescent light, she was a dazzle of red lips, glistening skin, and platin-um hair. The top of her sundress was a weave of gold-threaded red straps.

Her desk was a colorful litter of plastic flowers, statuettes, paperweights, and pictures. On Astrid’s side of the filing cabinet there was a mosaic of movie magazine clippings of Bobby Darin, who had bought her a drink once in Las Vegas.

“So, Benjy, I heard the good news!” she said, punching numbers into her adding machine. The long strip of paper curled onto the floor. “School’s opening a month early—next week, I think they said.” Pausing, she glanced up. “Jeez, didn’t anyone tell you?”

Stunned, he shook his head.

“Aw, they probably just didn’t want to spoil your last few days of freedom.” She pulled the strip of paper close and examined it, then jumped up and wiggled over to him on her high red heels. “Jeez, that went over like a lead balloon,” she said, placing her hands on his shoulders. Even in heels she wasn’t that much taller than he was. Her breath hit his face with the warmth of spicy flowers. “I was kidding. I was just kidding.” She shook him and he tried to smile.

She opened the top drawer of her desk and slid out a box of pink pepper-mints. “Don’t be so polite,” she said when he only took one. “Here,” she said, slipping four more into his pants pocket; then, hearing his mother come through the warehouse, she scurried into her chair. She winked and he could feel himself blushing.

Right after his mother came back into the office, Norm arrived, looking as hot and tired as his mother. Benjy could see her grow more irritated as Astrid kept interrupting her. Fearing a blowup, he fixed on his mother’s every word, nodding intently, as if his concentration might shield Astrid.

234 / MARY MCGARRY MORRIS

His mother was explaining that he and Norm were to eat at the hotdog stand on the beach and not at the hotel because that food was too expensive.

“What the hay, live it up!” Astrid laughed. “Don’t listen to her. Have some fun!”

“The blanket’s in the car,” his mother continued, trying to ignore her.

“Here’s your money.”

“Thanks,” Norm said, looking down at the two dollars. “It’ll be a big night.”

“Don’t look so miserable,” Astrid said, throwing her arm over his shoulder. “Maybe you’ll meet some cute girls. Do a little dancing, a little…stargazing?” She laughed.

“Remember, now, Norm, you’re going to teach Benjy how to swim,” his mother said.

“Well, I hope that’s not all he’s gonna teach him,” she said with a wink at Norm and a tweak of Benjy’s nose. “Want Auntie Astrid to come, too?”

she asked, and Norm burst out laughing, his face reddening.

“Go ahead, now.” His mother steered them to the door.

Astrid ran into the warehouse after them. “Hey, Marie! I just thought.

My party tonight! You said you couldn’t come cuz of the kids, but they’re going out, so now you can! I got tons of food and you’d really like the wire plant people. I mean it. They’re all just a heck of a nice bunch. And besides, you’ll really bail me out if you come. Somehow I got more guys than girls coming and Bobby’s just gonna shit—oh, excuse me, boys, your Auntie Astrid slipped. But he’s gonna think I did it on purpose, I know he is. And really, I wasn’t even thinking, you know, boy girl boy girl or anything like that. I just went around inviting people I liked, and I’ll be darned, most of

’em turned out to be guys. So will you come? Please? Please? Pretty please, with sugar on top?” She clasped her hands under her chin, pouting like a child.

“Astrid, if you don’t mind, I have to tell my sons something,” his mother said with a cold stare.

“Oh! Oh, yah. Sure,” she said, backing into the office. “I’ll be in here.”

She gave a little wave, and Benjy waved back.

“Why don’t you go to her party, Mom?” Norm asked when the door closed. “Maybe you’ll meet some nice guy. Some nice people,” he quickly added.

“I have to learn the business tonight,” she said with an odd startled look.

“Omar’s going to teach me.”

“I’d like to know what the hell this is all about,” Norm said as they waited for the light to change. He drummed his fingers on the sideview mirror.

“I don’t know,” Benjy said with a shrug, trying to seem as peeved as Norm, when actually he couldn’t have been happier. He liked being with his brother. His troubles seemed very distant right now.

“I’ll tell you what it is,” Norm said. The light turned green and he shifted from park to drive; if they idled too long in gear, the engine would stall.

SONGS IN ORDINARY TIME / 235

The car lurched forward, and Norm banged the wheel. “She wants you out of the house so she can be alone with that fucking peddler.”

“To learn the business,” Benjy said, letting his arm trail through the wind.

“Yah, she’ll learn the business, all right, the slimy no-good bastard.

Someday I’m gonna put my fist right down that no-good fucker’s mouth.”

He could feel Norm’s eyes on him, but he kept staring over the dashboard.

“I can’t believe this!” Norm said. “I could be at Weeb’s right now. Instead I gotta chauffeur you around.”

“We can go to Weeb’s. I don’t care,” he said, and Norm groaned.

“Hey! You used to always get carsick, didn’t you?” Norm asked.

“No, you did,” he said. “And then when I saw you get sick, I’d get sick.”

“But that’s it!” Norm cried. “I can drop you off, and you can say you almost threw up, so you have to go lay down.” He grinned. “Yah! What’s she gonna do, make you go sit on the steps all night so she and the fucking peddler can be alone?”

“No. I don’t want to.”

“Why?” Norm’s voice cracked.

“I don’t know. I just don’t.” Actually there were three reasons. He didn’t want to spend the night in bed. He wanted his mother to be alone with Omar. And he wanted to have fun with Norm.

“You know, Benjy, I think you’re probably the most selfish little asshole I’ve ever known!” Norm’s face curdled with disgust.

Forget number three, he thought, his head snapping back as Norm hit the gas and they peeled down Main Street.

A
t the lake Norm parked in the hotel lot. Leaning against the car, he took off his sneakers and stripped down to his bathing suit, which he had worn all day. Grimy from work, he couldn’t wait to get into the water.

As he came down the grassy slope to the beach with Benjy on his heels he was relieved to see that he didn’t know anyone. Most everyone here was older. This was going to be some night. The little creep had deliberately forgotten his bathing suit, and all he kept talking about was food. Norm spread their blanket, then started down toward the water.

“Can we eat now?” Benjy asked, hurrying after him. “Please, Norm. I’m really hungry!” He kept stepping on blankets and tripping over people.

“Hey, kid! Jesus Christ! Watch it, will you!” Voices cascaded after them.

“Shit!” He turned and grabbed Benjy’s arm. “Will you leave me alone?”

“Can’t we go eat? I’m starved!” Benjy begged so desperately that Norm was ashamed.

“Soon as I’m done,” he promised, then trotted off down to the pier and dove into the cool water. He swam out to the floating dock, then climbed up and sat on the edge and looked back at the peeling gabled hotel, the bustling beach, and his skinny brother just standing there in pants that were too short, his arms folded, head hunched forward, with the water lapping only inches from his feet. Norm groaned. He still had his sneakers on, the little creep.

236 / MARY MCGARRY MORRIS

Tonight would have been perfect. Weeb’s parents and his sister, Janice, weren’t going to be home, so they would have been able to drink Mr. Miller’s beer and listen to records in the comfort of Weeb’s bedroom. Instead he had Benjy on his hands and two lousy bucks for food. Benjy waved. He kept waving. Norm refused to wave at him. Finally he slipped into the water and swam back.

“Wait! Norm! Wait!” Benjy kept yelling as he lurched through the coarse sand to the hotdog stand on the nub of the beach. They stood in line, reading the paper sign that listed the thirty different garnishes. “Here!” Benjy shoved something into his hand.

“Where’d you get this?” he demanded, peeling apart the sweaty clutch of bills. He grabbed Benjy’s arm. “Steal it?” he hissed through a smile for the benefit of the throngs of people around them.

“No!”

His fingers dug into Benjy’s armpit. “From Duvall, right?” he snarled, and Benjy’s blank stare was answer enough. He turned away in disgust.

The peddler was trying to buy Benjy off, and the little creep was just stupid enough and weak enough to fall for it. Since his return Duvall had surged in confidence around them, openly, brazenly embracing their mother, bragging about his mysterious connections and the vague distant trips he would take her on soon, soon. “As soon as this latest deal breaks even…soon as I see my way clear…soon as the market straightens itself out…soon as the big call comes…Soon. Even his mother was beginning to sound like him. Everything was “soon,” with her hand on the back of Duvall’s chair, her gaze focused on the top of his head as if she’d discovered some dazzling truth in the oily morass of his hair, her voice unfolding like tremulous arms to his lies. And lies they were, all lies. There was no Roy Gold, no soap coming, and he’d probably fast-talked that shitty Cadillac off some other desperate woman.

“Two dogs with piccalilli and chili beans and a Coke,” he told the man behind the counter. “What about you?” he asked Benjy.

“The same!” Benjy’s grin turned his stomach. Didn’t he get it? Didn’t he see how he was being used by Duvall to get to their mother?

They sat on their blanket in front of a grove of blue-needled trees. Around them on the beach couples moved closer to one another as the red sun sank behind the dark mountains. Lifeguards moved along the beach, calling through their megaphones for everyone to come out of the water. Far across the lake, approaching the opposite shore, a small boat cut its motor and drifted silently in the fan-shaped breach between darkness and the last sliver of daylight. Suddenly the light was gone, leaving only a faint pink glow that silhouetted the black trees on the jagged mountaintop.