Sorority Sisters (11 page)

Malena smiled at Stephanie. “I don’t need much sleep, plus I’m a light sleeper. I’ll call you at seven-twenty-five, and I’ll talk to you until seven-thirty to make sure you are alert when you call Big Sister Nina.”

“Thank you so much. I owe you one.”

“With the way things are looking, I’m sure that you’ll have plenty of opportunities to repay the favor. Anyway, we line sisters have to stick together, right?”

“You’re right. Thanks again, and I’ll talk to you in about three hours.”

“All right,” Malena answered and got into her car. She couldn’t wait to get home so she and Tammy could recap the night’s events.

Stephanie walked to her car, relieved the night was over. She considered some suggestions she could give her dean about the attire she and her line sisters could wear to sessions. Then she thought as she was driving home, Who cares what we wear to session? Session is the last place to be concerned about making a fashion statement.

Unexpectedly, she began to think about Sidney, the argument they had, and the serious trouble her friend was in. I was so wrong. How could I have been so cruel? My girl needs me, probably more now than ever before, and I turned my back on her because of my own fears and insecurities. I have not been a real friend to her. What have I done?

Stephanie was disappointed with herself. She decided to fix the situation by going to talk with Sidney later that day, after her first class, to see if she could mend things between them so she would be able to help her through this tough time.

Chancey walked Cajen and Tiara to the car. “Hey, Cajen. I stay in Minor Hall. Don’t you stay in the same dorm?”

“Yes,” she answered.

“You think I can ride with you and Tiara to the meeting tomorrow?”

“Yeah, that’ll be cool.”

“Maybe we can take turns driving. Call me tomorrow at about twelve-thirty and we’ll set up a meeting time.”

“Remember how nervous we were earlier today?” Chancey asked.

“Yeah, and now we have so much more to be concerned with,” Chancey responded.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Tiara added.

“Well, I think we’re going to do just fine,” Chancey said. “I’ll see y’all tomorrow.”

Cajen and Tiara pulled off and found themselves sitting in silence. Tiara was thinking about all the bits of information she had picked up that night. She had decided, when they were in the room talking to Dean Big Sister Nina, that she was going to know every piece of information that was expected of her. She refused to give her big sisters any reason not to accept her. She was also planning her study time. In addition to meeting with her line sisters and big sisters and learning her sorority history, she had to find time to concentrate on her courses, which were her primary reason for being in school. She felt overwhelmed.

Cajen felt like she was going to explode. She wasn’t sure what was tugging at her most: trying to get into the sorority, living with herpes, or finding the opportunity to talk to Jason to let him know how badly he had screwed up her life. She couldn’t believe he hadn’t returned any of her calls. How was she going to continue pledging if she didn’t talk to him and at least release some of the pressure that was quickly building up and weighing on her mind? How was any man ever going to love her with this disease? How was she ever going to allow her new line sisters to get close to her, when she didn’t even want to be close to herself? She hated herself for having sex with Jason. She hated him. She decided she wasn’t sure if she would even leave her room to go to class, let alone meet with her line sisters or continue this pledging ordeal.

“I hope I can survive this semester.” Tiara finally broke the silence as they got closer to her dormitory.

“Huh?” Cajen asked, still preoccupied with her own mess.

“I have some difficult classes this semester. I don’t know how I’m gonna maintain my GPA with everything that’s going on.”

Cajen hadn’t given her GPA a second thought. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“So what do you think it’s going to be like?”

“What?”

“Crossing over and becoming sorors.”

“You know, I can’t even imagine.”

“I can’t either, but I’m really looking forward to it. I’m with Chancey. I think we’ll make it through just fine.”

“I hope so. I really do,” Cajen responded, wishing Tiara hadn’t broken the silence. She wasn’t quite ready to get to know her just yet.

“Hey, are you okay?” Tiara asked, concerned about Cajen being so engrossed in thought.

“I’m fine. I just need to get to my bed and get some rest, you know?” Cajen replied.

“Girl, I know what you mean. I really do appreciate you dropping me off.”

“Oh, it was no problem, no problem at all.” Cajen drove up to the front of Tiara’s dorm. There was nobody outside or in the lobby. They were both thankful for that.

“So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” Tiara asked, a little suspicious that Cajen might be considering dropping line.

“Yeah . . . tomorrow.”

“I will see you, won’t I?” she persisted.

Cajen snapped out of her trance. “Oh, yeah, I’ll be there. I’m fine. It’s nothing that a shower and a warm bed won’t solve.”

“All right, you drive safely.”

“My dorm is just around the corner. I’ll see you tomorrow. Remember, I’m supposed to pick you up for the meeting. Now get some rest. We’re both gonna need it.”

Tiara said good-bye and got her key out as she walked toward the entrance to the dorm. I wonder, she thought, how many of us will actually hold on long enough to call one another “Soror.”

THIRTEEN

Malena stopped by her apartment, as planned, to pick Tammy up for the meeting with their other line sisters. She was shocked and frustrated to find Tammy lounging on the couch and watching television in a T-shirt and sweats.

“Why aren’t you dressed? And why are you just sitting around like you don’t have a care in the world? You know we are supposed to be at Stephanie’s apartment in about fifteen minutes. Get moving!”

“I’m not going,” Tammy said.

“You’re not what?”

“I just got off the telephone with Philip, and we decided that my pledging would become a strain on our relationship. He told me that he’s planning to ask me to marry him at the end of this semester. I want us to stay close, and I want to focus on our future together. Now is not a good time for me to be running around like a maniac, trying to please some ungrateful big sisters just to get into their sorority. Philip and I decided it would hinder our relationship, and that pledging is not worth the strain.”

“So why didn’t you and Philip decide that before you wrote? Why did you waste your time?”

“Well, I told him what happened last night and—”

“You did what? You told him? Tammy, I don’t believe you. I don’t believe we’re even having this conversation. I thought being in the sorority was our dream. How can you just throw it away like this? Philip can wait.”

“See, Malena, what you fail to realize is that the sorority thing was not my dream, it was yours. Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t against it. I wrote because I thought it would be something fun for us to do together, and I only wanted it if it was convenient. And you know as well as I do that getting into this sorority is going to be anything but convenient,” Tammy said. Then she softened after seeing the disappointed look on Malena’s face. “I’m sorry I let you down, Lena, but I have to think of what’s best for me and Philip, and our future together.”

Malena opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. It wasn’t worth it. Tammy and Philip were in love, and they had their minds made up. There was nothing she could say to change that. But she had to try one more time. “Tammy, you know if you turn back now there are no chances to come back. This is it!”

“Malena, I know, and you know I support you one hundred percent, and I will help you and the rest of the line in any way I can. I do realize I’m giving up a lot, but I think the trade-off is worth it.”

Tammy got up, walked over to her best friend, and hugged her. “You’ll be okay, and you know I got ya’ back if you need me for anything.”

Malena pulled back to look Tammy directly in the eyes. “So I guess that I’m gonna have to tell everybody that you’re dropping. What am I supposed to say to them?”

“You’ve always been good at smoothing things over. Just tell them that it’s personal, and please let them know it doesn’t have anything to do with them.”

“What if I don’t want to break the news to them? Tammy, I think you should come with me, and let them know yourself.”

“You know how dramatic things would get if I told them in person. We both know that the line as a whole can’t afford to have any unnecessary distractions. My being there is unnecessary, and all of the questioning will cause the meeting to run late. We can’t do that to them.”

“Tammy, you already did it to them . . . us.”

“I know you’re mad at me. If I were you, I’d be mad at me too. But I think it would be best if you told them.”

Although Malena was disappointed, she couldn’t argue. “Well, I guess I’d better get out of here if I want to be there on time.” She walked toward the door, then turned back. “Tammy, I respect your decision. I just wish you would have made it sooner.” She picked up her backpack and walked out the door. She then tried to figure out how she was going to break the news to her new line sisters that her best friend wanted to drop line because she was in love.

Malena was the last one to get to Stephanie’s apartment, where the meeting was being held. When she walked through the door everybody said hello and looked past her for their other line sister.

“Where’s Tammy?” Tiara asked.

“Tammy dropped.”

“Why?” everybody asked in unison.

“Well, it’s a long story, but she had a good reason . . . I guess.”

“Hold on now!” said Cajen. “I’m sorry, but that’s just not good enough. I need an excuse that’s better than ‘It’s a long story.’ I mean, is somebody gonna be dropping every day? Is that what I’m supposed to expect?”

Stephanie jumped in. “Cajen, calm down.”

“I can’t calm down! Tammy is the third person to drop in less than twenty-four hours, and we’ve only had one session. If this continues, there won’t be a line. I thought about not continuing myself, but I thought about Tiara and the rest of you, and I knew if I dropped it would be for selfish reasons. Does anybody else realize how much we need one another now?”

“Cajen,” said Malena, “nothing could have been done to stop Tammy from dropping. She had personal reasons, and it didn’t have anything to do with the line or the session last night. She did what she had to do. But Cajen, I promise you this, I have no intention of dropping line, and if nobody else can say that, I’m saying it to you right now. They’re gonna have to kick me off line if they don’t want me to make it. Otherwise, I plan to complete this.”

“I do too,” Chancey agreed. Not knowing her new line sisters well, she felt comfortable listening and absorbing everything that was said.

“And you ought to know that I can’t see nothing but pink,” added Tiara.

Then everybody looked at Stephanie. “I don’t know why you’re looking at me. If you only knew how much this sorority means to me, already, you wouldn’t look at me like that. I’m not only doing this for me, I’m doing this for my mother and her mother. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good,” Cajen said. “Because if anybody else quits, I’m out.”

“And we can’t let that happen,” Tiara said.

A silence fell over the room, and everybody glared at one another with the same sentiment in their eyes that said, You’d better not let me down. There was a sense of security in everyone’s stating they were not going to drop, but doubt still lingered in the back of everyone’s mind that somebody might lose her strength or her will, and quit suddenly.

Stephanie broke the silence. “All right, now that we’ve established that nobody else is dropping, let’s get started.” She looked around to make sure she had everyone’s attention. “I hate to begin this meeting on a sour note, especially after the bad news we just received, but since it’s likely we’re going to be meeting a lot over here, I took the liberty of adding ‘Stephanie’s apartment dos and don’ts’ to our pledge dos and don’ts.”

“What?” Tiara asked, not sure if she heard her right. Her other sisters felt the same way.

“Don’t take it personally. I just want to make sure everybody respects my apartment. I only have three rules. Is that asking for too much?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “Those rules are: When we conduct meetings over here, do not sit on my bed. Take your shoes off at the door. And make sure, please make sure, you pick up after yourselves,” she said, overarticulating every word.

“Okay, Dean Big Sister Stephanie. What’s up with this tyrant behavior?” Tiara questioned.

“Oh, no, I don’t mean to offend anybody, Tiara. It’s just that with five people over here every day, it’s going to be tough keeping things neat. I just wanted my requests to be made known, so there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings in the future. Plus, my carpet was just cleaned last month.”

Tiara looked around. Stephanie’s carpet was nice and plush, not like that thin plastic carpet she was used to walking on while growing up in the Indiana projects. In fact, Stephanie’s entire apartment was immaculate—almost too nice for someone her age.

She had cherry wood furniture throughout, in “good as new” condition, which had been her parents’ before her mother went on a decorating binge. On her walls hung matted and framed African-American art. Everything flowed and matched throughout the entire apartment, from the entrance to the bedroom to the kitchen.

“Uummp!” Tiara frowned, crossed her arms, and looked away. None of her high school friends came from homes as nice as Stephanie’s apartment. She didn’t know anybody else who was still in college, and few who’d graduated, who could afford to live like this. But why, she thought, does she have to be so bourgeois about her things—like we don’t have any home training? I know how to be around nice things.

“Tiara, don’t take it personally. We really don’t know one another, and I think we need to get our pet peeves out in the open,” Stephanie said.

Malena took off her shoes and said, “I understand Stephanie’s wanting to keep her apartment in mint condition. I would want the same if we were using my apartment. Now, I’m not sure I understand the rule about sitting on her bed, but we have to respect her wishes. Plus, where else would we be able to meet? Since Tammy dropped, my apartment is out, and everybody else lives in the dormitories. So we have no other choice but to meet here and respect her rules. I have a pet peeve myself. I hate when people don’t pull their own weight. I hate to see a lazy, trifling person who relies on everybody but herself to succeed.”

“That bothers me, too,” Chancey agreed.

“Now if anybody falls into that category, we’re gonna have a problem,” Malena explained.

“I hate when people think that just because I’m smart that I don’t know how to have a good time once in a while,” Chancey expressed. “My intelligence is giving me a free ride through college, and I’m grateful. I am a bit shy, and it takes me a while to warm up to people, but there’s more to me than my brains—I do have a personality.”

“For the record, Chancey, brains are a bonus in this camp, so don’t ever think they aren’t appreciated.”

“Right. And as far as personality goes, I don’t think you would have been accepted if your letter didn’t reflect character,” Stephanie added.

Malena could sense that Tiara wanted to say something but needed a push. “Now Tiara, I know there are things people do that really get to you. So go on and get it off your chest now.”

“Well . . . since you insist. My pet peeve is when people feel a certain way about me or other people, who may not do things quite like they should, and they go behind their backs and talk about them like dogs, and treat them differently just because of something that they can’t help or don’t know. I may not have come from much, and I know I’ve got a lot to learn, but I don’t need people looking down on me because I don’t always speak correctly or use the right fork,” she said, looking at Stephanie.

“That’s the worst,” Chancey added. “I also hate when people expect you to be something or someone you’re not. I think that differences and preferences make us each unique. They add balance to the whole scheme of things.” Her statement reflected her growing concern about Don’s attempts to mold her into his idea of a perfect woman. She was frightened that she’d never meet his expectations.

“I hate people who are deceitful. I can’t stand people who keep secrets and mislead,” Cajen added, in a harsh tone. Although Cajen was talking about Jason, Stephanie secretly took it and some of the previous comments personally because of her secret about her natural mother. The room felt tense, so she quickly changed the subject and talked about some of her favorite dishes, and said they could start cooking dinner at her apartment, since they would be meeting there.

As they becoming better acquainted, they discussed more of their likes and dislikes, and started to relax, finding more in common with one another.

As that conversation began to fade, Stephanie brought up the list of items Dean Big Sister Nina gave her during their telephone conversation that morning.

Tiara began to feel kind of foolish for being upset with Stephanie, but she always felt insecure and somewhat out of place when she was around luxury, and Stephanie’s apartment was the epitome of luxury. Everything was name-brand and screamed “class,” just like Stephanie. Tiara thought Stephanie could tell she wasn’t accustomed to nice things, and that she didn’t trust that Tiara would know how to maneuver in her apartment without breaking something. She thought that was the reason Stephanie began the meeting by dictating rules. But Tiara chose not to expose the way she really felt toward her line sisters, because she didn’t know how they would react. So she made peace with Stephanie. “I’m sorry for being so defensive regarding your requests concerning your apartment.”

Stephanie accepted her apology and said, “I didn’t mean to come off so coldly. I’m sorry too.”

“Excuse me, pledge, but rule number ten states: You’re not sorry. We don’t accept any person who is sorry. ‘You apologize,’ ” Chancey said.

“What?” everybody asked in unison. They weren’t sure if she was serious.

“I’m just kidding.” She laughed. “But it seemed like the perfect opportunity to bring up that rule.”

“Is that really one of the rules?” Cajen asked. She hadn’t even looked at the first one.

“Yeah, it is. I remember seeing it last night. But is it number ten?” Tiara asked.

“Chancey, how did you know that was number ten, and how many more of those rules do you know?” Stephanie asked.

“I learned all thirty of them.”

“Has anyone else memorized all of the pledge rules by heart?” Stephanie asked.

“Well, I know the first five,” Malena answered. “But certainly not all thirty.”

“I’m shocked, Chancey,” Stephanie said. “When did you find time to learn them?”

“I just went over them this morning before I got ready for class.”

“What’s pledge rule number twenty-five?” Stephanie quizzed Chancey.

“ ‘Pledges are to always keep themselves well groomed. We cannot accept any person who does not represent her best self.’ ”

“Twenty-six?” Malena asked.

“ ‘Because of rule number twenty-five, pledges must always have their hair neat and in place, and makeup is to be worn tastefully at all times.’ ”

“No shit!” Tiara responded.

Chancey went through the list of pledge dos and don’ts from number one to number thirty. She knew them all. “She’s quoting these rules word-for-word,” Cajen responded. She had the rules in her hand and was following Chancey’s responses.