Sorting Out Sid (20 page)

‘Who’s Meenakshi now?’

‘Arrey, Meenakshi, that HR head of ours. She hardly interacted with me earlier, but ever since I was slated to become VP, she’s been very friendly.’

‘Achcha! Sounds like a pretty obvious kiss-ass.’

‘Well, she’s not that bad.’ Sid tried to defend his new lunch partner. ‘As in, yes, she’s a little taken with hierarchy, but she’s … Well, I wouldn’t say she’s really nice, but she’s not as bad as the rest of the office seems to think. She’s quite good looking, you know. She told me that she was a model during her teens.’

‘Really?’ Now it was Aditi’s turn to look at Sid through narrowed eyes. ‘Bit of a whore, is it?’

‘Oh, come on! People are just jealous of her looks and quick rise in the corporate world. So, they say she has slept her way to the top. Next they’ll say the same about me. And I assure you, I haven’t slept with any of the VPs … at least, not yet!’ Sid could see Aditi opening her mouth to argue, so he quickly continued, ‘So anyway … the job. The job is good. I am thinking about giving it another year here at least. Though I am thinking about moving to Mumbai at some point.’

‘Moving to Mumbai?’ Aditi squealed in surprise. ‘Why do you want to move to Mumbai?’

Their next course arrived
–
prawns with Pad Thai noodles. Sid waited for the waiter to place their food on the table and leave. He thought he had mentioned the Mumbai thing to her already. He didn’t really feel like delving into an explanation now but he had opened the subject.

‘Well … you know, I just love the city and I feel I’d like to set up on my own there.’ He added, a tad reluctantly, ‘Delhi also kind of has a lot of … uh … memories
–
not all very good. Anyway, maybe, I’d just like to get out after a while and start over. We’ll see how it goes.’

Aditi took a spoonful of her food, swallowed and said, ‘So does Neha know you’re thinking about moving to Mumbai?’

Neha again, Sid thought with irritation. Why was Aditi so insistent on bringing her up over and over? That was the problem with women
–
they just never let up.

Sid answered, ‘I’m only thinking about it at the moment … and why should Neha be bothered with my plans anyway?’

Aditi said, ‘Well … I thought since there might be something going on with the two of you, she…’

This probing was getting too much. ‘We went out
once
, Aditi … with her
daughter
there. Will you please stop that now? I’m hardly ready for a relationship … and … neither is she, for all I know. So why would you assume anything’s going on between the two of us?’

‘Hey, no.’ Aditi was rarely defensive with Sid; it was usually the other way around. He kind of liked being on this side of the table. ‘It’s just that I was thinking…’ she hesitated, ‘I wouldn’t want her to get hurt, you know?’

‘No one will get hurt, Adu.’ Sid said. ‘There’s nothing to get hurt about anyway. I like her, I think she’s nice and funny, but maybe if I find someone else who’s nicer and funnier, I’ll want to hang out with
her
.’

‘With her, as in, Neha?’

‘No, with her as in the next Neha, I mean
the next person
.’

‘So you’re not serious about her?’

‘There’s nothing to be serious about.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Seriously!’

‘So you’re not going to sleep with her?’

‘Adu…’ He glared. ‘What is this?’

‘Look, I’m asking because I’m concerned.’

‘That’s a very personal question.’

‘Oh my god, you slept with her on the first date!’

‘I have not! It wasn’t a…’ He swallowed. ‘This is ridiculous. It’s all in your head. And what’s even more ridiculous is that for the longest time you’ve been wanting to get the two of us together, haven’t you? Your two divorcing buddies! Come on, admit it!’

‘Okay, listen … I thought about that at one point.’ She admitted and then bit her lip before going on. ‘But it wasn’t to get you two
married
or something. I just thought you have a lot in common and if you became good friends, that would be great. But you should be careful not to raise expectations if you’re not really ready for an actual relationship.’

‘Fine.’ He put his right hand over his heart and held up his left palm. ‘I hereby pledge I won’t sleep with Neha.’ She frowned and he lowered his hands, shaking his head in disgust. ‘Like she’s dying to sleep with me or something. But rest assured, I will resist her nefarious attempts to seduce me and will ensure that nothing shall take away my chastity…’

‘Shut up, Sid!’ She was waving her fork at him in a threatening manner, but there was a smile playing about her lips now. ‘Nefarious attempts. That sounds like that Meenakshi woman. You can go ahead and bonk her, but it can’t be a one-night stand with Neha!’

‘You don’t have to tell
me
that.’ He chewed his food a bit moodily
–
he had suddenly lost his appetite. First Aditi wanted
them to hang out, now she didn’t want them to hang out. Women were so bloody confusing. Well, he was done trying to figure them out. Out loud, he just said, ‘You know, there’s nothing that’s happened between us. We went out, talked
–
it was nice. But I’ve got lots on my mind and I don’t have space for anything else.’

‘Okay, fine. My only point is if that’s the case, you may want to just give it a little more distance. Just so that there is no confusion, you know? If you’re so clear you don’t want anything to happen, why encourage it even a little bit by hanging out alone together?’

‘We wouldn’t be alone if we were together.’

‘Sid!’

‘Oh, okay, fine.’ He felt drained. ‘I’ll cut down on the hanging out. It’s no big deal. I haven’t called her anyway after that one time, what with my parents around. And even once they’re gone, I don’t think I’ll be seeing her anytime soon. So don’t worry, nothing’s going to happen.’

Aditi seemed to be satisfied now and nodded with approval, ‘Good boy.’

She helped herself to some prawns and noodles and took a bite. It was only because she was looking down at her plate and exclaiming ‘This really is pretty good, Sid!’ that she missed the fleeting expression on his face.

‘Isn’t it?’ said Social and Conversational Sid, who had already carefully composed his face to leave no trace of the look that that had been on it a mere second ago. The most resentful scowl that he had ever directed at Aditi in their association of over twenty years.

‘Good boy,’ the woman had said.
Good boy
!

7

An Unpleasant Evening

S
id fumbled for a second with his key in the lock before the door gave way and opened. He stuck his head through cautiously and said, ‘Hellooo?’ The house was quiet and the lights were off. Good, good. He let himself in and dropped his laptop bag on the floor. Aah … he heaved a sigh of relief. It was so good to be home … and alone. Sid hadn’t had the place to himself for what felt like ages
–
his parents had finally left. And Mandira was clearly not home tonight … Perfect.

At this point, a small shadowy figure popped up from behind the sofa and a pair of bright eyes gazed at him from out of the darkness. Sid took a step back just about managing to stop himself from screaming; he gasped, instead, and said something along the lines of ‘Aar-ghwat?’

The figure didn’t reply but neither did it move to attack him. His heart was still racing and in a moment Sid realized what was going on. This was Rukmini, the young girl Mandira had arranged to help with the housework. The girl arrived two days ago and Sid had barely noticed her presence given how busy he had been with his parents till the last evening. Like a chameleon, Rukmini somehow blended into the background.
He personally didn’t see the need for a full-timer at this point but, of course, Mandira hadn’t bothered to check with him before springing this little creature on him. Hah … Sid could now forget about having the place all to himself.

This morning, Sid had asked Mandira what the girl would do since they were out most of the day. Mandira’s reaction had been loud and rather unparliamentary. Now that his parents were gone, she didn’t bother with self-restraint, and basically she had asked him to go and fuck himself. ‘Not that you ever lift a
finger
around the house, what the hell do you know about what it involves? Anyway, it’s just another few months and I’ll take her with me. So just shut up, okay?’

He had hastily just-shut-up-okay and left for work. His hope of peace reigning now that they were waiting to separate had been shattered a while back … and his parent’s visit only made things worse. He felt a surge of anger at all of them. What was everyone’s problem with him anyway? Okay. So his parents still didn’t know about the divorce and Mandira was livid about it. But then, he hadn’t really found that perfect opportunity, had he? Till the last minute of their visit he had been on the verge of telling them, but every time he opened his mouth to break the news to them, he would blurt out something else. On the last day of their visit, Sid tried hard, but it just didn’t happen.

‘Ma,’ he began, and finished with, ‘so you didn’t show me the pictures from India Gate! Come on, where’s the camera?’

‘Hey, Ma …’ Sid swallowed. ‘You have to tell me the recipe for that suji ka halwa … what? Oh yes, I’ll write it down for Mandira.’

And at the airport: ‘Ma…’ This time a blatant lie. ‘I’ll miss you! Don’t forget to call when you land!’

And now they had gone. When Mandira questioned him coldly last night about how they had reacted, Sid hemmed and hawed. He then explained that he was planning to write a letter to them, and that it was always better to explain things in writing since you could think through and articulate your words carefully and appropriately. Moreover, this allowed people time to absorb the news, take stock of their emotions and then formulate the most appropriate and thought-through response.

Mandira’s next words to let him know what she thought about him and his ideas were impressively articulated despite being verbal. His ears became flushed now as he plonked down on Brownie thinking about what she had said. At the time, he had briefly wondered whether she had the right to talk to him like that now that they weren’t a couple. He thought it best not to ask. She had been really mad. No wonder then that she had snapped this morning about the maid thing.

Sid noticed that the said maid was hovering around him and wondered what to do to get rid of her. Hmm … She was supposed to be sixteen but looked more like twelve to him. Could he report Mandira for child labour? Was there a secret helpline for this sort of complaint? He dismissed the thought. He wouldn’t have to bear with her for long. In fact, she could perhaps be made useful.

He told her the first thing that occurred to him. A simple enough request: ‘Rukmini, jaao, mere liye Maggi banao.’ He noticed that Rukmini was shaking her head mournfully. Irritated, he asked her what the matter was.

‘Maggi nahin,’ she said to him in a flat tone.

‘Kya matlab Maggi nahin?’ he said with rising annoyance. ‘Kal hi toh main do packet laaya tha
–
kisne khaaya Maggi?
Kisne
?’ He knew there was no reason to get so upset, but the emotionless way in which she informed him about lack of the Maggi got to him. Besides, it was important to get to the bottom of things here.
Who
had finished his Maggi?

Emotion was now no longer a problem. Rukmini’s face was contorted and she was trembling. It was obvious that she thought she was being accused of having eaten all the Maggi although Sid had actually meant to implicate Mandira. Little Rukmini raised a quivering finger and pointed it straight at Sid’s chest and said ‘Tummmmm…’ in the loudest, most high-pitched rendition that Sid had ever heard of that simple word. Oh yes, that was right. He had cooked both packets for himself last night, clanging the pots and pans in annoyance. It had been right after Mandira’s yelling at him and Rukmini had hovered in the kitchen doorway watching curiously until his dirty looks had driven her away. ‘… mmmmmm…’ She still was pointing at his chest and the sound from her lips now took on an eerie quality and seemed to bounce off the walls and reverberate in his ears.

‘Theek hai, theek hai,’ he said hastily, cutting her off and hurriedly making his way into his bedroom. This girl was plain creepy. He was glad Mandira would take the little banshee when she moved out. Soon. Not soon enough though.