Soul Avenged (Sons of Wrath, #1) (18 page)

Where am
…?

Warm, dewy
skin slid against her cheek. Her hand jerked beneath the sheets and
her fingertips probed a rock-hard chest.

Oh, no.

She tipped her
head up.

Piercing green
eyes stared down at her with something of curiosity and uncertainty
swirling in them.

What the
hell?

Nonchalantly
brushing at the drool smeared across her face, she slid off the bed
onto the adjacent chaise. A throb in her skull forced a wince.
Ouch.
Rubbing her temples did nothing for it. “How did I—”
As quick as the words left her mouth, realization struck. “Calix.”
She tightened her jaw. “Damn him.”

“I had nothing
to do with this.”

She leaned
forward, resting her head on folded arms across her knees. Locks of
hair tangled between her fingers as she clutched her head. “We went
to Sanctuary. They kept giving me shots of tequila.” Her muffled
voice echoed inside her brain, flashbacks from the night before
tickling her already-nauseous stomach. “Assholes. Calix carried me
in.”

“And to think
I thought we—”

She snapped
her head up, a steely glare silencing his words. “Shut up. Don’t
even say it. I don’t care how drunk I get, I know enough to stay
away from mangy dogs.”

The corner of
his lip tugged as though a slap-worthy grin just itched to break
free and piss her off. “You sure as hell didn’t look like you were
in pain sleeping beside me.”

“I think I …
dreamed
.” Her eyes were lost for a moment. “I haven’t
dreamed in a long time. I was in a park. Pushing a little girl on a
swing.”

Kane arched
his brow. “And?”

“That was
it.”

“That’s not
much of a plot.” He crossed his arms.

“No. It was
nice, for once.” Ayden’s eyes came back into sharp focus and landed
on his hands. “Where are your binds?”

“Oh, you mean
your kinky sex toys?” He unfolded his arms and hit his wrists
together. “The maid confiscated them. You’ll have to ask her if you
want them back.”

A swell of
heat rushed into Ayden’s cheeks, adding a little rouge to her
otherwise pale skin. “I told you, they belong to Calix. And how did
you manage to charm her into taking them off, lycan?” She looked
him up and down with a grimace. “Use your memories against her,
too?”

“Memories? No,
some people are just born with a heart.” He tipped his head.
“Funny, even the undead are capable of showing more compassion than
some humans.”

“Don’t you
chastise me,” she said pointing her finger at him. “Do you have any
idea what
heartless
pieces of shit your kind are? What
they’ve done?” The anger caused her head to throb again. She
clutched her temples. “Ouch.”

“Maybe they
are. And maybe that’s what I’ll be five days from now. But today,
I’m Kane Walker. And the worst thing I’ve ever done was …” His
mouth hung open for a beat. “Goddamn, I don’t even remember. Lie, I
guess.”

***

“Lie?” Ayden
sneered at Kane. “The worst thing you’ve
ever
done in your
life is lie? That’s pathetic. Oh, wait, let me guess. You lied and
said you were sick to take a day off work.” She rolled her
eyes.

Fuck, I
didn’t even do that. Maybe I am pathetic.
He shook his head. “I
lied to a woman. One that might have actually been good for
me.”

“And?” Ayden
shrugged. “What was the lie?”

“I told her …
never mind.” He scowled. “What the hell would I be telling
you
for, anyway.”

“No, really,
what was the lie? I could use a good laugh.” She leaned back into
the chaise and crossed her legs.

“It was
nothing.”

“It must have
been something if that’s the worst thing you can remember in your
life.” She leaned slightly forward. “Which, by the way, is still
pathetic.”

“What was the
worst thing you’ve ever done then, ice princess?”

Her eyes
narrowed. “Wake up next to you.”

“Oh, that’s
classic.” He threw his head back. “As much destruction as your
hands have caused, the worst of it was a moment of contentment. Why
am I not surprised?”

“Go to hell.
There was nothing content about lying next to you.”

“Perhaps the
snoring is what gave you away.”

Her lip
curled. “I don’t snore, asshole.”

“No? Sure
sounded like it to me.”

“Oh, now I’m
really
curious to know about your pathetic lie.” She sat
forward on her elbows. “You told the woman you loved her and
didn’t. Isn’t that how men work?” Ayden clasped her hands, holding
them to her cheek. “You broke her fragile human heart. Boo.
Hoo.”

“Worse.”

She arched her
brows waiting for him to explain.

“I told her I
didn’t love her. And maybe I did.”

“
Maybe
you did?”

“I’ve never
been in love before.”

***

Ayden leaned
back on the chaise, arms still crossed. For reasons she couldn’t
explain, his admittance made her curious. “Why would you do
that?”

Kane shrugged.
“Because I couldn’t think of a better excuse. But I guess maybe I
shouldn’t have lied. I should’ve stayed with her. Hell, I might’ve
married her. We might’ve had kids together. I might’ve been happy.
And I might not have been in that parking lot the other night. I
wouldn’t have gotten attacked. And you could go on hating someone
else.”

Ayden studied
him. The green in his eyes mesmerized, as if she could see right to
his very … soul. She gave a mental head shake.
Never look at the
eyes. The eyes emit the soul and the soul must be destroyed.
“You’re a manipulative piece of work, you know that?”

Kane smiled
and shook his head. “Why am I here? And don’t tell me it’s because
you like watching some poor halfling suffer. It’s my understanding
that I’m your first.”

She hesitated
but only for a second. After all, what the hell could it hurt? “You
want to know
the only
reason that I brought you back here?”
She glanced toward the window then back at him. “Fine. You’ve been
imprinted. When you grabbed my arm on the landing the other night
…” She swiped at her nose with the back of her hand. “… I saw
something.”

“What?”

“Memories.
Human memories.”

Kane frowned.
“And you saw this when I grabbed your arm?”

“That’s how it
works.”

“Forgive my
ignorance.” He shifted on the bed. “How what works exactly?”

She expelled a
forced breath. “When you’re bitten, sometimes memories transfer.
Memories of victims.”

“And you could
see
these?” His eyebrows furrowed as if confused. “In
me?”

“Yes.”

“What memories
did you see in me?”

She rubbed her
hand down her face. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

“It does
matter. You saw something that made you curious.” His hand reached
back and scratched his head. “I’m guessing it’s why I’m still
alive.”

“You guessed
right.” Ayden palmed her face and lodged her hands in her hair.

“What did you
see?”

“A girl,” she
said, without looking up. “Sitting on a tractor in a field. Going
to school. Kissing a boy. A wedding.” She rubbed her head, batted
her brow as if irritated by the thoughts. “They happened so fast, I
can’t remember all of them.”

“You saw that
from me?”

“Yes. You
grabbed my arm and all these fucked up images filled my brain.”

Kane blew out
a breath. “Those sure as hell weren’t any memories of mine, I can
tell you that.”

Ayden peered
down at her fingers, fidgeting in her lap. “They were …
interesting. Like watching a home video of someone’s life.”

He frowned.
“Why would that be interesting to you?”

Her attention
shot back at him. “You ask a lot of questions, lycan.”

“Kane. My name
is Kane.” He pulled his knees up, resting his elbows on them. “What
does it matter? It’s not like I’m going to blab your secrets.
You’re severing my head in less than a week, remember? And I don’t
see myself going out for beers with your demon buddies anytime
soon.”

Another moment
of deliberation before she huffed. “What the hell.” Her eyes drew
away from his and focused on her hands again. “My memories were
erased except for one. The night I was attacked. I don’t even
remember the whole night. Only the few moments near death. When I
could hear
it
breathing. Feel
its
teeth in my
back.”

Kane’s eyes
widened. “The lycan?”

“I suppose you
don’t have to be a psychiatrist to know why I hate your kind.” Her
gaze narrowed in on him. “I don’t remember all of the details. All
I remember is laying face down,”—her hands began to tremble and
that familiar hate wound up from the pit of her stomach—“while that
parasitic piece of shit fed off of me.” The horrified expression
Kane’s face forced her to glance away.

“I’m sorry,”
he muttered.

Ayden shot him
a steely glare. “I don’t need your goddamn pity, wolf.” Her eyes
diverted back to her hands.

“But how did
you—”

“Survive? Keep
from turning into one of
you
?” She spoke through gritted
teeth. “I’m one of few who carry an antibody to lycan venom. And
mine was strong. So, unlike most who pass out or go under after the
first bite, I was conscious the entire time.”

Something
inside of her gut told her she shouldn’t have revealed so much to
him.
Why did I?
The answer just wasn’t materializing in her
head. As if he’d cast some sort of spell on her that made her
suddenly willing to spill her dark secrets. Goddamn, it felt worse
than waking up with a complete stranger.

Deep in some
untapped recess though, it felt good, too—like talking to a plastic
doll, whose face held nothing more than emptiness and a blank
stare. Thoughts battled inside her head to break free. Who knew
that confessing to the enemy could be therapeutic? So many nights
she’d spent talking to ruined walls in abandoned places. At least
the one in front of her talked back.

He shook his
head. “I can’t imagine how you lived through such a thing.”

The disbelief
in his tone carried like a sword to Ayden’s stomach. She hadn’t
lived. The terror had consumed her to the point of weakness,
paralysis. “Wade found me. He took me back to the compound. Nursed
me back to health. And let me forget everything except what I
needed to remember. He taught me how to fight. How to
live
again.” She resisted the urge to flinch with the words.

“What do you
mean, he let you forget everything?”

“Mindslating.
All memories are erased except the last few minutes of the attack.
It’s fuel.” Her voice seemed so resolute in spite of the fact that
mindslating remained the root of her anger. “Gives us purpose.
Makes us strong.”

Subjects, like
Ayden, underwent Mindslating beneath Wade’s rule. Every memory up
until death vanished; only that bite to the flesh before the venom
seeded into the blood remained.

Everything
else went numb, reduced to one single emotion: fury—and Wade used
that establish motive in his army.

Alexi warriors
were trained to despise the lycans. Programmed to kill without
hesitation. Even in human form, the Alexi viewed the lycans as
soulless creatures, their minds so fixated on killing and vengeance
that nothing else mattered.

Not even the
yearning to know who they’d once been.

Wade had
successfully created an effective weapon that rivaled the lycan
packs. Soldiers, whose very existence rested in promise of
revenge.

Silent for a
moment, Kane shifted on the bed. “This is some super sci-fi shit.
How exactly does one
erase
memories? Like, gone?”

She breathed
out a laugh that held no humor. “I don’t remember.”

Kane shook his
head slowly. “It just seems …”

Ayden glared
at him from the chair where she sat. “What?”

“Cruel.” His
gaze met hers. “That he’d take everything else, only to leave you
with empty hatred.”

Anger swirled
in her chest like fuel and flames dancing together. “It’s not
cruel. It’s merciful. I’ve been on the rescue missions with Wade.
Entire families wiped out.” She gripped the velvet cushion of the
chair as she spoke, muscles tightening. “Babies eaten. Homes
thriving with life, smeared in blood. You suffered a bite. But
imagine if your wife and child were torn to bits before your very
eyes? I don’t think you’d want to relive that over and over.”

“Is that what
happened to you?” His eyes seemed to be searching for something in
hers. “Your family was attacked?”

She glanced
away from him. “I don’t … remember if I had a family.” A dull ache
fought to slice through the numbness of her words. “And I’m glad.
Who’d want to carry that shit around? Always feeling sad? It does
nothing.”

“You can
empathize with those victims, but you can’t seem to look at me the
same?”

Her head
snapped up. “You’re not human any longer, lycan. You’ve been
bitten. Changed. You’ll be one of them. You will hunt, kill. And
enjoy doing it.”

He seemed
thoughtful for a moment, his eyes shifting. “So, why let me live
until then?”

“I don’t owe
you anything. That includes an explanation.”

“You don’t.
I’m nothing to you. Hell, I’m less than nothing.” He shook his
head. “But did it ever occur to you that I may have had a life,
too? That maybe you’re robbing me of the opportunity to forget by
prolonging this?”

“Your kind
roams the streets of Detroit every day,” she said. “Every night you
seek out new victims to destroy—innocent lives, weaker than you,
incapable of protecting themselves or their families. Be grateful I
found you and that I’m strong enough to destroy you. I’ve lived in
shadows. Fed revenge until it choked me.” The words spilled from
her mouth, regret looming all the while. “Even if those memories
don’t belong to me, it was
nice
.” She snarled her lip.
“Sorry if that put you out somehow.”