Soul Awakened (27 page)

“I apologize for bringing the subject up, but I am trying to understand the circumstances of the spell Kepi used. Even the bond I have with my dearest Nebt does not compare and we are full-blooded gods. It may be your dormant powers that are having the effect, amplifying the bond in some way.”

Kendra fidgeted with the tassel on her robe. “Do you think I will go crazy again? I don’t think I can handle any more embarrassment.”

“You are not crazy, Kendra. Bakari’s instability is reverberated across the bond. You were unprepared for its affects. I am sorry I did not prepare you sufficiently before it happened.”

“It’s not your fault.” It’s Bakari’s.

“No, but as your mentor it is my responsibility to train you.”

“You and Nebt have been so kind.” She had been so rude to Nebt in the library. “Thank you.”

“It is our honor to serve the Mother Goddess’ children.” The priest smiled and knuckled his chest in the same manner as she incessantly had been doing since Bakari’s departure for the warrior camp.

“Does it always ache,” Kendra wondered out loud when she rubbed her own chest. Like a case of severe indigestion that even antacids wouldn’t cure.

Inpu watched her briefly, seeming to formulate his words. “In bonded mates, yes. It is a manifestation of the emotional separation.”

“Wait, did you say
mates
?” She asked. She assumed the physical connection of the blood-bond caused it. “What are you saying? That I am emotionally mated to Bakari?”

“Are you?” the priest asked with the calm directness.

“No! I feel nothing for him,” she barked, but the pain worsened in her chest, as if it detected her own lie. She groaned.

“The emotional bonding must be mutual for it to occur.”

Kendra shot to her feet and started to pace, not wanting any of this. Emotional. Physical. Mated. Hadn’t he taken enough from her? “Damn him.”

“I do not advocate one way or another. It is your choice.”

“Damn right it is,” she growled with venom. “Bakari is
not
my mate.” Despite the fortitude of which she spoke, the ache in her chest remained along with the sense of loss. He may not be her mate, but he sure did have her heart.

“Nebt, love.” Inpu rose and walked over to his Underworld goddess. Nebt had been in the human world assisting Kit with the hunt for Menthu. The priest’s eyes flickered with that same glow that Asar’s had when he looked at Lilly.

Kendra deflected her gaze, not wanting to see the heart-felt reunion and jealous that the ache in his chest would dissipate. Hers remained like a molten comet eating its way through her soul. Could Inpu be right about the emotional bond with Bakari? He said it had to be mutual. So what did that mean exactly? Bakari cared for her so much he simply had to kill himself and take her with him?

Funny, how she rarely expressed her anger a day in her life before this all happened and now rage consumed her thoughts. Nothing that a pint of Ben and Jerry’s couldn’t cure. She could use some soul food.

Taking a deep breath and masking her irritation, she turned to face the happily mated couple. She smiled. “Same time tomorrow?”

Inpu nodded with a smile that reached his eyes. Nebt watched her intently. Despite the serene smile on her face, her eyes didn’t reflect the same joy as her mate’s. Maybe they had little success in locating the War god. Kendra bit back the question, knowing it would prolong her stay. She couldn’t be around them, not right now anyways.

She tucked her hands into her robe and headed for the door. “Have a nice evening,” she chirped out, trying to sound unaffected. Nebt’s gaze followed her to the door.

“Kendra, I almost forgot.” Nebt intercepted her. “Bomani asked how you were feeling and hoped you would dine with him tonight.”

The goddess brushed her fingers over Kendra’s cheek. Her skin tingled at the contact. Kendra gritted her teeth and tried not to jerk from her touch. Nebt was only trying to help and she had already been downright rude to the goddess.

“Thank you,” Kendra said, truthfully. “I’ve been busy this week. I’m sure he is worried.” Nebt broke her touch and smiled.
Busy—
code word for too embarrassed to face him after how she had acted.

The goddess held the door open for her to pass. None too soon, because Kendra couldn’t breathe. She dashed back to her room. With her hand on the door, she glanced toward the dining room. Bomani hated the palace and only came because of her. How many nights had he sat in that dining room waiting for her? None she hoped, but didn’t think that was the case.

She slipped into the room and closed the door behind her. An impossible situation being bound to a male that didn’t want her. Only to have another wanting her, but not bound to her. She was so confused.

It was the one time she wished she had Kit’s flare for remaining distant and uncommitted, cycling through men, one right after another. No attachments, just sex. Somehow, she couldn’t envision herself pulling it off.

Despite her need to hide, Bomani deserved an explanation. She needed some space to figure everything out. Hopefully, he would understand she needed to be alone for a while with no distractions.

Inpu instructed her to find her center, her soul. Literally. It was the source of her power. If she could stay focused, she might be able to exercise some control over her demi-god abilities, even though they had not been released. Through their mental connection, the priest had guided her to the general location, but now it was up to her to pin point the source. Maybe if she could find her soul, she could squelch Bakari’s hold on her or at least force herself to stop obsessing over him. Because, chances were she would be the last thing on his mind. 

“Shall I take this away?”

“Huh?” Bomani looked up from his untouched plate. The woman gestured to the plate next to the empty seat. “Please take it to her room, if you could.”

“Certainly.” The servant bowed before scurrying off with the plate of seasoned beef, asparagus, and potatoes. He stabbed at a piece of meat and flicked a potato across his plate. Kendra had not shown for evening meals the entire week. Nebt had assured Bomani that Kendra needed some time to come to terms with the
incident
, as they were calling it now. Despite the goddess’ words, he could not help but feel that Kendra was avoiding him.

After everything that transpired that evening, he was ready to throttle his brother, saved only by the fact that Asar ordered him to steer clear until he got control over his anger. It had been a week and he was still pissed as hell.

Curse his brother. He had always known Bakari was up to no good all those years, but to actually hear it drop from his own mouth. Finally, justice would be done and his brother would be punished for his crimes, but no. Instead of locking Bakari in the dungeon, his father placed him in the warrior village under his supervision.

Asar had too much faith in Bomani’s sense of fairness, because he would make it his mission to ensure that his bastard brother paid his dues. In fact, this morning Bomani reviewed the duty list and ensured Bakari’s name was on the most menial and labor intensive chores. He should have had some sense of remorse, but he did not, especially after witnessing Kendra’s breakdown.

Irritated, he shoved the uneaten staples away and readied himself to head back to the village.

“Bomani.”

The hesitant and familiar voice drew his gaze up. Kendra stood at the far end of the table. Their eyes met briefly, before she looked away. He pushed the chair out and stood. The sound of wooden legs scrapping the stone filled the silence between them. She fingered the gold tassel on the chair.

“May I join you? You know, for dinner?” She asked without making eye contact.

“Of, of course. You never have to ask,” he stuttered, still shocked she was here. He pulled the chair out next to him and waited for her to sit before pushing it in. The servant nodded and hustled into the kitchen to retrieve another plate.

He sat and pulled his chair in. Uncertain of what to say, he decided to wait.

“I’m glad you hadn’t left.” She smiled weakly. “Could we talk a bit? About, um, things.” Her brown eyes stole a glance and about took his breath away. She had always been cute with her long curly locks, freckles and bubbly personality, but she radiated something less juvenile—an elegant beauty that he swore had not been there before.

Perhaps, he had become accustom to the pale skin, dark circles, and white streaks of hair that he hadn’t noticed it before. That or something had changed. “You look well rested.”

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Do I?  I haven’t been sleeping much, so it must be Inpu’s lessons that are having an effect.” Pulling a strand of her auburn hair, she twirled it between her fingertips. She dropped it and put her hands in her lap. The young servant placed a fresh plate on the table. Steam and the succulent scent of grilled meat curled up into the air. “Thank you.”

Bomani nodded and the woman returned to the kitchen. He was grateful for the brief distraction. Despite being a couple feet from Kendra, it felt like a chasm. Or more like his brother standing between them.

She refocused her attention to the food and picked up her fork. “I’m sorry I’ve been preoccupied this week.”

He focused on cutting his cold sirloin. “It is understandable.”

She paused a moment with her knife only half way through the meat. Sighing, she laid the utensils next to her plate. She peered up at him and chewed on the side of her lip. “I’m really sorry for how I acted.”

Bomani stared at her a moment unsure if she regretted kissing him or regretted her emotional upset. “You do not need to apologize. It had been an unfortunate night. Stressful for everyone.”

He reached out his hand with the palm up. “Are we okay?” he asked, cautiously. She paused, but then laid her palm in his. He marveled at the warmth of her touch, penetrating his palm and then ascending up his arm.

She nodded in response.

With his other hand he dared brush his fingers against her lips, remembering her hungry kiss. She closed her eyes. When she opened them, the brown pools were laced with regret. He pulled his fingers away and rested his arm against the table. He was not going to like what she was about to say.

“I need some time to get my head straight.” She paused and cleared her throat. “Can we take things slow?”

Okay, not a complete rejection. He could handle that. She slipped her hand out of his reach and turned to her plate. Although she tried to hide it, she rubbed above her left breast. The small action instantly soured his mood.

No matter how far Bakari was from Kendra, he would always be between them. 

A month felt like years.

Bakari looked at his hands blackened by handling tarnished metal. He picked up the next weapon and wiped the cutting edge until it shined. The meticulous and repetitive motion demanded most of his concentration and focused it away from his obsessive thoughts of Kendra’s angry face.

Selfish bastard.
Did that not sum him up in two words? He picked up the next blade and the sharpening stone and rubbed it against the metal. The friction sounded in rhythmic scores.

“Only a thousand more to go,” Sin complained ruefully. His bunkmate leaned on the table and grabbed a rolled smoke. He leaned over into the fire pit and inhaled until the tip glowed a bright red. Sin exhaling a smoky breath. “I do not know how you can stay in here for hours on end. I am about ready to jab one of those in my eye.”

Bakari paused with the stone against the blade's edge. Somehow what Sin said struck him funny. Hell, he had envisioned doing just that every day since leaving the palace. He rubbed his thumb across the razor sharp edge. The slice bled.