Southern Zombies Three Book Box Set: A Story of Survival, Southern Hospitality, and Southern Blood (7 page)

Bobby gets in to drive and I get in the back with Diane. We start shooting. Trying to cut a pathway out. Bobby heads toward the front where, right in the opening we came in through, is now packed full of eaters.

“Stop the truck.” I tell him.

“What the hell for?” he asks.

“We have to get some of these out of the way. We can’t run them over.” I tell him.

So, Bobby stops, not happily I might add.

I make Janice get up in the back with Diane and me and show her how to use the Taser I got. I let her know that she should not fire it unless there is one close enough that looks like it is coming into the truck with us. We will probably all get eaten now. If we do, I will kick her ass for not listening to me.

Diane and I start firing again and get a clear path.

“Floor it.” I tell Bobby.

“They are still a few there in the way.” He says.

“I don’t give a damn, floor it. Marc can kiss my ass about his truck.” I tell Bobby.

He floors it and takes out three zombies. Well, I should say the passenger side mirror takes one out. Well, now it matches the driver’s side mirror. May as well fuck it up good since I am getting my ass chewed anyway.

And we are screaming down the highway at a mind-blowing twenty-five miles per hour. Fast enough to stay ahead of the zombies and slow enough to dodge any in the front of us.

I get on the radio and call Marc.

“Coming in hot.” I tell him.

“How many?” He asks.

“I’m glad you know what coming in hot means because your mom didn’t.” I tell him.

“How damn many?” He asks.

“Sorry. About twelve.” I say.

“Trey is heading for the gate.” Marc says.

“Tell him don’t shoot us or I’ll be really pissed off.” I say.

I hear Marc yell to Trey in the background to go meet his crazy ass folks at the gate. I like his nerve. He does realize he is Trey’s folks too don’t he?

Trey is there at the gate. That little red headed boy. I’m so happy to see him I start yelling at him to shoot their asses. He obliges me. Marc makes it up to the gate where he gets us through and Trey continues to shoot. Diane gets in the back and gives him some help on the firing.

We get up to the house and get the hugs and mushies out of the way.

“I do not understand how in the hell you banged this truck up so bad.” Marc says.

“Hey smart ass. You go out there and see how long you can keep a dent out of it. Not a fun thing to do.” I tell him.

“Well, what the hell happened to the mirrors?” he asks.

“Um.” I have nothing.

I could have told him Bobby got the last mirror knocked off, but I wouldn’t want anyone else to be on Marc’s shit list.

We get in the house. And Marc goes over the ideas he has been approached with since we been gone.

“So, people are coming to me when they need zombies killed. I told them I can’t kill them all. But mostly they want someone to help them get their homes set up for defending. Trey and I have been taking turns going around and helping out. There has also been some talk of people trading things we may need for help. Since money doesn’t mean shit anymore, we can use other things such as weapons, cars, and other items we may need. We don’t know how long this will go on, or if it will ever end. But we need to prepare for the worst right now. I think we got most of the neighbors set up now, but people from farther away have been sending word this way for help.” Marc says.

“Like how far?” Bobby asks.

“Under a hundred miles. We won’t be going across the states.” Marc tells him.

“Well, what do you think?” Bobby asks.

“I think we can do this. We also need to drive back a few miles to find those animals we let out of the barn.” I say.

“Ok, Trey and I will do that. Y’all get settled in. Becky has food ready. Go eat, rest and when everyone gets up and ready, we will get started on planning our aiding and rescuing ideas. Tammy, Kelley and their families are on the way over. They should be here in the next hour. They have been overrun.” Marc says.

“Great.” I say.

Tammy and Kelley are Diane’s daughters.

Tammy has three kids and a husband. Kelley has one kid. So this will be a full house. At least Tammy is a nurse, so we will have medical attention and Kelley likes to cook. Sure, she likes to cook food that you would find on an expensive restaurant menu, but I am sure she will find a way to prepare a seven course meal from a deer quarter.

“I got word that a family on the edge of the Alabama line needs help. They are holed up in their storm shelter and have been there for about two days. They don’t have enough food and water to last much longer and need help. From what I am hearing, their house is still in good shape, but the doors and windows were broken and they were forced out.” Marc says.

“When do we leave?” I ask.

“I got everything ready to go for tomorrow. I plan on leaving at dawn. They are going to trade us some more guns and another Honda Pioneer for helping them. They apparently are, or were, well off and don’t care how much they have to come up with as payment.” Marc says.

“Sounds good. I will get Bobby together and we will be ready to go.” I tell him.

“Well I am a little anxious to see how it is out there now.” Marc says.

“No, really, you’re not. It’s a mess out there like you could have never imagined. All the stories we heard all our lives and movies we saw doesn’t even start to describe it.” I tell him.

“It is unbelievable.” I say.

“So are we ready to try this? I mean are we prepared for what’s out there?” I ask Marc.

“Only time will tell.” He replies.

Southern Hospitality

I wake up to Riley staring at me with his nose up to mine. Why he can't just bark and wake me up, I will never know. You can always feel someone staring at you even if you are sleeping. I ask him if he needs to go "poopie". He immediately starts twisting and wagging his tail. I look over and see Bobby still sleeping. I will leave him alone since he had an adventure before we went to Virginia and got him.

"Good morning everyone." I say when I get to the kitchen.

Diane is there cooking breakfast.

I hear a bunch of mumbles of "good morning."

Tammy is at the counter cleaning a wound on Trey.

"What happened to you?" I ask Trey.

He smiles, so instantly I know this will be a story of either epic proportions, or one of crazy proportions.

"I run the Pioneer into the pond. And when it hit the water, it threw me over the steering wheel and into a log." Trey says.

I just look at him.

"So, we have zombies, and are trying to survive and you, meanwhile, are trying to find ways to kill yourself?" I ask him.

He snorts out a "whatever."

Tammy is our family nurse. Since this shit hit, medical professionals are hard to come by. She is also Diane's youngest daughter.

Kelley, Diane's oldest daughter is in the kitchen helping Diane with breakfast.

I walk over to see what they are cooking. With Kelley, you never know.

“What you are cooking there?” I ask Kelley.

“Deer tenderloin smothered in gravy with Peruvian Pepper and curry leaf.” She tells me.

“Where the hell do you get these recipes and herbs?” I ask Kelley.

“I grow them.” she says.

Well that shut me up. Who would ever think to grow herbs that no one has heard of? Sure, I have heard of curry but what is Peruvian Pepper? Is it hot? Am I going to have to drink a whole gallon of tea to get the burn out of my throat and sinuses? Can we keep Kelley away from the cooking area? I doubt it.

Marc comes in and asks where Bobby is.

“Still sleeping.” I say.

“Well, I have the truck loaded and all the supplies packed up. Is he still coming with me?” Marc asks.

“He said he was. I will wake him.” I say.

As I am going to wake Bobby, I hear Marc ask Kelley, “What the hell is that?”

I guess he saw her new culinary dish.

I wake Bobby up and tell him Marc is ready.

“Are you ready for this trip?” I ask Bobby.

“Yeah, I hope we go there and get everyone back in their home safely.” He says.

“Who all is going with us?” Bobby asks.

“Diane, myself, Trey, you and Marc.” I tell him.

“Is there room?” He asks.

“Yes, king cab remember.” I tell him.

We go back to the kitchen where everyone is enjoying breakfast now and let Marc know we are ready. Diane, again has packed up enough supplies to last forever. At least she left the toaster oven this time. Tammy has packed us some first aid kits and medicines. Kelley packed us some of her…. Whatever she calls it… deer tenderloin to eat later.

“Y’all ready?” Marc asks.

We say yeah.

Becky tells Marc to be careful and if he gets hurt while he is gone, she will kick his ass when he comes home. She tells Trey the same and to watch his daddy. Now, this is going to be like the blind leading the blind. By that I mean that Trey is just like his daddy. How can someone watch someone else when they are just as dangerous as the person they are watching out for?

Finally, we are in the truck and heading out. Marc driving, Bobby in passenger seat, me, Trey and Diane in the back cab.

Trey slides through the back window on the way to the end of the drive and shoots at some zombies. Marc yells at him to get his ass back in and sit down.

On the way to the highway we need to get on, we see some of the horses Bobby, Diane and I set free when we came back from Virginia. Marc says we will get them home when we come back if they are still there. We may need them in the future.

I would guess we have a couple of years before the gasoline supply starts to dwindle. Gas will evaporate out of tanks when left sitting for long periods. Maybe we can keep a supply at the “foxhole” if we get a tank to store it in.

We make it to the highway and head toward Alabama. We will be going to a small town called Waterloo that is located on the north-western tip of the state right across the Mississippi/Alabama state line. It should be a drive of no more than a couple of hours. Right.

On the way we see zombies everywhere. There are bodies along the highway and in the ditches. Cars are parked with the doors open as if people were trying to get away from the calamity going on around them. Most didn’t make it far. We have to drive slow through the traffic jam and try to dodge bodies and zombies at the same time.

“This is unreal.” Marc says.

“Yeah, we told you it was. Telling someone doesn’t do it justice though. You have to see for yourself.” I tell him.

“I see.” He replied.

We get about an hour away from the Alabama state line and we run right into a roadblock. Four cars and trucks blocking the lanes of the highway. Yes, again, another road block. What the hell is wrong with people?

Marc slowly rolls up and stops. I tell him not go any closer. He asks me why. So I tell him of the experience Diane and I had with the roadblock when we were traveling. He just looks at me like I am crazy. We sit there and watch and a man gets out and yells “What are y’all doing here?”

I tell Marc that they are either marauders trying to steal from people or they are lawfully out here for a reason.

Marc yells back, “We are going to help some people get their home fortified against the zombies. What are y’all doing out here?

“Well, that’s none of your business what we are doing out here son.” The man replies.

“Well, that answers that question.” I tell Marc.

We get our rifles ready while Marc is talking to the ass hat.

Marc tells him, “Look, we just want to pass through so we can help some people.”

“Well, y’all have to pay.” Ass hat replies.

“I don’t see any toll booth here.” Marc tells him.

“I am the toll booth.” Ass hat replies.

“Trey, slide through the back window. Bobby, you got a good shot from there?” Marc tells them.

Bobby replies that he does and Trey gets through the back.

“I’m going to ask one time; can we pass through without any shit going down?” Marc asks Ass hat.

Ass hat just laughs.

“I take that as a no.” I tell Marc.

Is there not enough to worry about in the world today without having to deal with a bunch of idiots who are too stupid and lazy to get their own stuff?

Marc tells Bobby to take a tire shot at the car on the right, and Trey is to take out the radiator on the one in front. Diane slides up in the front to drive while I stay standing in the door to take out anyone on the left aiming at us.

We all tell him we are ready.

Ass hat yells at us to exit the car.

At the same time, we take a shot at our targets. We hear men yell out that we are shooting at them.

“You don’t say.” I yell out.

Diane drives down into the median so we can get around them. Marc takes a shot at ass hat and nails him in the knee. That has to hurt. Ass hat starts screaming that he is going to kill us and feed us to the walkers. As we continue down the median, zombies are slowly making their way towards us and our lovely hosts.

I hear ass hat yell out, “How are we supposed to get away from them?”

“Should have thought about that before you tried to act like an ass and steal.” Marc tells him.

This should be interesting. The zombies make it over to ass hat’s truck and, wouldn’t you know, presses his face to the window to see ass hat in there. Still not sure of the zombie and window fascination, but I will find out. They can’t stay in their cars forever. It’s too hot for one thing and they will have to open the windows at some point.

We continue our trek to Waterloo. I hope we can get there in one piece and without any more ass hats in our way.

We make it to Waterloo. The house is easy to find. And wouldn’t you know, it is still surrounded by our newest guests.

At this point we need to come up with a plan to get them away so we can start taking them out. There are too many for us to start firing into them. We are looking at 200 or more zombies milling around and they look as though they are here to stay. So I tell Marc and Bobby we need to decide how to do this.

“I think we need to have Trey get to the Pioneer and try to lead some of them away. Let’s try that first and go from there.” Marc says.

“Come on red headed boy.” I tell Trey.

He just looks at me. Well, he is red headed. I could have called him Red Freckle. I love that boy.

So we look around and find the Pioneer, in a small garage. Much to our chagrin, it has an audience of admirers.

“Well, hell.” I tell everyone.

Bobby, Marc and I line up and take aim to clear out zombies from the Honda Pioneer. Diane is in the truck ready to drive if needed. Trey is waiting on us. Impatiently I might add.

We start firing. There are about 11 stumbling around the Pioneer. We take those out fairly easy and Trey makes a run for it. He gets in and yells, “No key.”

“Jump out and look around for it. You are in a garage; it has to be there somewhere.” I tell Trey.

He does. I really wouldn’t want him looking around in my garage. He is upending everything in there.

Trey finds the key, thank the Gods, and gets back in to start it. He rolls out of the garage and floors it.

“Really, Trey? The zombies aren’t marathon sprinters you know. They can’t move at the speed of light. Slow your ass down boy.” I tell Trey.

“That child is exactly like you.” I tell Marc.

So now we are watching Trey act an ass on the pioneer. I think he has forgotten his task at hand. If I could get my hands on him, I would pull his ear off.

Marc yells at him and he instantly straightens up and does what he is supposed to be doing. Really?

Trey gets a little closer to the crowd and notices he has a few followers. He makes a circle back around and has a few more. So he continues making a pass by at the crowd until he looks like a Rock star with a group of adoring followers trying to get an autograph.

Marc throws his arm up and points to the area for Trey to lead them to. So now we have enough room to start firing. We start our shots. Damn I need my 50 caliber about right now. I could mow them down faster. We continue firing until we have dropped zombies everywhere. We have a few crawlers, a few coming back in from Trey’s fans and a few coming from inside the house.

The only way to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain. And it’s hard to do that when you are in a whole herd of them. Or is it pack? Or maybe a mess? Are zombies really dead? How do we know? People are often reported clinically dead only to be revived later. If it is moving, if it reacts to stimuli, a food source or sounds, and if metabolic processes are in play, how can we call a zombie dead? Can we call them undead? Undead means that an entity which was once alive in the full meaning of that word, then dies, and was re-animated. Zombies are not brought back from the dead. They are technically dead.

Sorry, I got off track.

So, we continue to take out as many as possible. Each shot the zombies hear bring them back from where Trey took them to. So we have them to deal with now. We continue to fire until all the new arrivals have been taken out.

Finally, we have taken them all out. Trey comes rolling back up on the Pioneer. Diane gets out of the truck and brings some food and water out. Marc goes over to the storm shelter and bangs on the door. We hear some commotion in there, then the door pops open ever so slightly. A man peeps out and Marc tells him they can come out now. I think he’s unbelieving as he stands there staring for a moment before he comes out and has everyone come out.

We introduce ourselves and let them know we have food and water if they need it.

The man comes out and says, “I am Todd. This is my family. My wife, Kate, my son Jackson, and my daughter Kaylie. I want to thank you for helping us.”