Speak of the Devil (11 page)

I stared at the foam in my coffee cup. “I guess I’m hoping you’ll say the magic words that will somehow help me deal with what Adam did to me. I’ve never really dealt with it, you know? I just kind of… pretended it didn’t happen.”

“The only thing that happened is you got beat up,” Dom said. I gave him an indignant look, but he went on before I could put my thoughts into words. “The fact that he used a tool that can be a BDSM toy to do it is irrelevant. It wasn’t about BDSM, it was about a seriously pissed-off demon getting his pound of flesh. You know there’s a big difference, don’t you?”

I heaved a sigh. “Yeah.” I wouldn’t say I came close to understanding the dynamics of Adam’s relationship with Dom, but I knew what Dom was saying was true. “Can we just forget I started this conversation?”

Dom was silent for a moment, but I wasn’t surprised when he ignored my request.

“When Adam plays with me,” he said, “I’m in something like an altered state. Some people describe it as ‘subspace.’ When I’m in that subspace, pain doesn’t really register as pain. It’s just a very strong physical sensation.” One corner of his mouth lifted, though I think he was trying to suppress his smile. “One I happen to like.” The half-smile faded. “But the point is, I have to be in that subspace to like it. I’m not really a masochist. Under ordinary circumstances, I’m as anxious to avoid pain as anyone else.

“It’s Adam’s job as my dominant to help me find my way into that subspace.” Dom grinned. “He’s very good at it, though he’s not a natural. Demons don’t need to be in subspace to enjoy pain. For them, it’s all about the novelty of physical sensation. When I was hosting Saul, there was almost no dominance and submission going on between him and Adam—it was all about sensation play.

“The point is that demons are interested in SM for different reasons than humans. I’ve kind of trained Adam to treat it in a human way, but what he did to you was pure demon. Don’t confuse it with BDSM. They’re not the same at all.”

I chewed that over for a bit, knowing that if I ever broke free of my own altered state, brought about by shock and emotional pain, I was going to be mortified about this conversation. But then again, if I was having this conversation with Dom, then I wasn’t thinking about Brian or about my session in the black room.

“I guess that makes sense,” I finally said. “I’m not sure I really
understand
it, but it makes sense.” I frowned. “Of course, that
sentence
doesn’t make sense.” Hmm, maybe the Frangelico was starting to
get to me. Since I wasn’t a big drinker, it didn’t take much to make me loopy.

I was saved from making any more silly, incoherent statements—and from asking any more questions that would embarrass me later—when Adam joined us in the kitchen. I was staring into my cup again, but I still managed to catch the warning look that Dom gave Adam.

Adam sat at the table across from me. “I’m sorry if talking about this makes me insensitive,” he said.

“Adam…” Dominic said.

“I think it’s important we establish just what we’re dealing with in Barbara Paget,” Adam said. “And it’s now obvious that she did, in fact, break in and snoop around.”

I found my courage somewhere and lifted my gaze from the depths of my coffee cup. “How is that obvious?”

“Like I was saying before, I clean my whips. At least, I did when I had need.”

Meaning back when Dominic was possessed, and their “play” involved bloodshed. I knew that was not the case anymore, that Adam was very careful with his lover. I still shuddered at the thought.

“But that time with you,” Adam continued, “I put the whip back in its box for a little bit before I got around to cleaning it. I hadn’t opened the box since, but when I did just now, I saw that all the padding inside had been removed.”

I blinked a couple of times, my thoughts feeling sluggish, either from stress or from booze. “So Barbie broke into your house and stole the padding from the box.”

Adam nodded. “Along with a few other things that I’d probably never have noticed if she hadn’t sent that stuff to Brian. But here’s the part that’s really disturbing—
not only did she steal the stuff, but she also had access to someone who was able to analyze the blood and identify it as yours.”

That didn’t sound good at all. “I guess I need to go have a chat with Private Eye Barbie tomorrow.”

“No, I think
we
need to go have a chat with her,” Adam countered.

And, realizing that my mental faculties probably wouldn’t be much sharper tomorrow than they were today, I had to agree.

I left
Dom and Adam’s place at around eight, when Saul got back from wherever he’d been. I’d pretended not to notice the pointed looks Adam was giving me. There was no way in hell I was inviting Saul to stay at my place tonight. I could hardly stand my own company, much less Saul’s.

When I got home, I went directly to bed, even though it was way too early for that. I put on my comfiest PJs and pulled the covers up over my head, wishing myself into a deep and oblivious sleep.

The sleep itself came with surprising ease. Amazing how much having the love of your life accuse you of cheating on him can take out of a girl. I should have known better than to hope for oblivion, however.

Once again, there was a merry fire crackling in the fireplace in Lugh’s living room, and the air held just enough chill to make the warmth welcome. However, this time I was lying down on the butter-soft sofa, my head pillowed against the armrest. A cashmere-soft blanket was tucked snugly around me. My feet were propped on Lugh’s lap, and under the blanket, he was
running his thumbs up and down their soles with just the right amount of pressure to make my toes curl pleasantly.

For just a moment, I felt warm, and comfortable, and cherished. Then my mind clicked back into gear and I remembered my disastrous evening. I closed my eyes and then covered them with my forearm. Lugh continued to massage my feet, and though I could only describe the touch as sensual, I knew that he didn’t have seduction on his mind, that he was merely trying to comfort me.

Silence stretched for what seemed like an eternity, and I think I would have fallen asleep, if I hadn’t been asleep already. I kept waiting for Lugh to say something, but he didn’t. He just kept rubbing my feet soothingly.

Eventually, the silence got to me, and I had to break it.

“Aren’t you going to reassure me that everything’s going to be okay?” I asked, and I’m afraid my voice sounded a little plaintive and childlike.

I heard him draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Demons are capable of many things that humans are not, but seeing the future isn’t one of them.”

I dragged my arm away from my eyes and forced them open. Lugh was watching my face, his amber eyes serious, and intense, and hard to read. I frowned.

“That’s a pretty noncommittal answer.”

His hands stilled on my feet, though he didn’t withdraw his touch. “One thing I have never done is tell you soothing lies. I don’t plan to start now.”

My throat tightened and my eyes burned. “In other words, you think it’s over between me and Brian. For good.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t say that.” He regarded me gravely. “But I suspect this rift is going to
be hard to repair. And if it’s going to be repaired, you’re going to have to put a lot of effort into it.”

I swallowed past my tight throat. “I bet Adam can get some expert somewhere to verify that the photo was doctored. I mean, any idiot with PhotoShop could have done it, but surely there’s some way you can tell. And once Brian knows the photo is fake, he’ll listen to me about the rest.”

Lugh raised an eyebrow at me. “And if Brian is persuaded that you didn’t have an affair with Adam, will that make things all better between you?”

I had to suppress a groan, because I’d already realized earlier this evening that it wouldn’t. He was far from the only injured party in this mess.

“Don’t rub it in, okay? I feel shitty enough already.”

“It was not my intention to rub it in. I’m just explaining why I haven’t said what you wanted to hear.”

I nodded. “Okay, fine. If you’re not going to whisper sweet nothings, is there any particular reason we need to talk right now? Can’t you just let me sleep?” Talking wasn’t going to make anything better, so I’d just as soon have done without.

“It has always been my impression that humans appreciate having a shoulder to cry on when they are having romantic difficulties.”

I snorted. “You know perfectly well I’m not the crying-on-shoulders type. Try again.” There was something he wanted from me. He just hadn’t gotten around to telling me what yet. Whatever it was, I wasn’t in the mood to give it to him. I just wanted to crawl into my little hidey-hole and disappear until the pain went away. Too bad life didn’t work that way.

“Maybe I just wanted to remind you that you weren’t alone,” he said softly, looking at the fire, not
at me. He smiled faintly, but it looked forced. “Or maybe I figured if I
didn’t
talk to you tonight, you’d be angry with me for my perceived desertion.”

Despite my less-than-alert state of mind, I was beginning to hear the faint ringing of warning bells in my brain. It wasn’t like Lugh to be this cagey. It took a considerable amount of willpower to move, but I forced myself to sit up and slide my feet off of his lap. I wrapped the sinfully soft blanket tightly around me, not sure what Lugh had dressed me in for this dream and not wanting to find out.

I suspected everything he’d just said was true. I also suspected there was more going on than met the eye.

“Will you stop with the tap dancing and just tell me what this is about?”

He gave me an assessing look that made my stomach do a back flip. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what he was up to after all. I had more than my fair share of turmoil already, and the last thing I wanted was to add more to my plate.

Lugh smiled at me ruefully. “Take it easy, Morgan. It’s nothing as devious or as worrisome as you’re making it out to be.”

“Then what is it?”

“I just wanted to make some arrangements that I knew you weren’t going to get around to making in your state of mind.”

The warning bells were now so loud I was almost surprised Lugh didn’t hear them.

“In other words, you’ve been keeping my mind busy here in la-la land while you’ve driven my body around.” It wouldn’t be the first time Lugh had taken control of my body during my sleep, and, of course, he generally used such opportunities to do things I very much didn’t want him to.

“What did you do?” I demanded, meanwhile trying to muster my mental defenses enough to wake myself up and kick Lugh out of the driver’s seat. It always required some effort, but right now I felt so weighed down by the circumstances that I wasn’t sure I could do it at all.

“No need to try to shake me off,” Lugh said. “I’ve done what I set out to do, and I’ve put you back to bed.”

“Why doesn’t that make me feel any better?” I muttered, but my struggles to break through his control were weak and halfhearted. Somehow, it just didn’t seem worth the energy.

“I talked to Adam. I thought it best for you to have a bodyguard, at least until we find out what the story is behind that hand you received in the mail.”

I groaned. “Don’t tell me you invited Saul over.”

“All right, I won’t tell you that.” He smiled at me, a teasing glint in his eye.

I shook my head. “I don’t need a bodyguard!”

“I know,” Lugh said, nipping my incipient tirade in the bud. “But it made for a good excuse to move Saul out of Adam and Dominic’s house. There is enough tension already between various members of my council. I don’t need Saul and Adam in a romantic rivalry.”

I met his eyes. “If there’s a romantic rivalry going on, then just moving Saul out of the house isn’t going to stop it.”

Lugh shrugged. “Maybe not. But I’m sure it’s better for all involved, and it should at least slow things down.”

“Maybe you should have put more thought into it before you insisted on summoning Saul to the Mortal Plain!”

He gave me a quelling look. “There’s no point in
arguing about that. Saul’s here—both on the Mortal Plain and in your apartment. Let’s just move on from there.”

My eyes widened. “You mean there’s more?”

He nodded. “I suspect that in his current state of mind, Brian isn’t going to be overly anxious to pay your legal bills.”

The blood drained from my face. The thought hadn’t even occurred to me, but of course Lugh was right.

He patted the air reassuringly. “Don’t worry. I’ve made other arrangements.”

I was anything but reassured. I lowered my head into my hands. “Adam again?”

“Yes. He has the financial resources to help you.”

I raised my head and glared at him, my hands trembling with rage. “And what if I tell you that I absolutely refuse to accept money from Adam?”

“Then I’ll call you a mule-headed fool and I will continue to take matters into my own hands as often as necessary.”

My jaw dropped. Lugh usually tried to be so gentle and patient about everything. I would have thought now, of all times, he’d treat me like a porcelain doll.

“My apologies,” he said, though he didn’t sound particularly apologetic. “You need money to defend yourself, and Adam has money. Getting through the lawsuit is going to be difficult enough without financial strain loaded on top. And don’t forget, the rest of your problems aren’t going to magically disappear while you’re being sued.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and scowled. “I haven’t forgotten.”

“Also don’t forget that you’re my host, and that I need you. I can’t afford to leave you undefended, and
as Adam’s king, I have every right to demand that he pay for your defense.”

I was too tired and beaten down to argue, though I wanted to. “Adam paying for my defense is just going to reinforce Brian’s assumption that he’s my lover.”

“That can’t be helped.” He looked genuinely sorry this time, but I wasn’t sure I cared anymore.

“Let me go back to sleep now,” I said, my voice flat and hopeless-sounding.