Spill Over (12 page)

Her shoulders fall. “I just…
I
don’t
know
.
It feels like a lot. Maybe too much.
I e
ven tried.
I mean, he’s pretty cute.
”

I almost say,
if you like that kind of thing
, but
that would make me pathetic.

She really feels bad that she doesn’t like this guy
enough to be closer to him
.
To me it always seemed like, yeah, if we don’t like ea
ch other, we shouldn’t hang out. N
o big deal. I don’t know why it never occurred to me to feel
bad
.
It
was
always
just that way.

I shift my weight closer to her as we walk.
“You could kiss me, you know
,
if you want to. Make sure he’s around
to see
…”

She chuckles and slugs my shoulder. “Whatever, Antony.”

Yep. Depressingly in friend category. Now I get why people say this sucks. I say it because I’ve heard other people say it, not because I’ve experienced it.
“Sit.” I flop down in the sand in front of
a small, decrepit wooden boat
.

Amber
’s still standing,
and for a mome
nt I’m afraid she won’t join me
, but she does and pulls her knees up.

The voices from the fire carry this fa
r, but I can’t make out words. As t
he waves slide up on th
e sand, the small rocks tumble
over each other creat
ing
a s
cattered pebble sound that
intensify
the calming
sound
of the water.

“How ya doin’?”
she asks.

I flip my phone over in my hands, and then again.
There’s no good way to answer.
“That question is too full.”

“Of what?”

“Of everything.”
I st
ick the damn phone
in my pocket. P
eople who fidget make me crazy.

“You have a unique way of
see
ing
the world, or maybe just a unique way of talking about it.”
Her blue eyes study me.
I don’t look, hoping she’ll look longer.

Her
words
hit
me like a wave of something that carries weight. Good weight. I’ve been carrying the lousy kind. “You’re pretty kickass at compliments.”

“I bet you’re not too bad at them yourself.” She smirks.

My tongue thickens, my throat clenches up, but I need to get it out.
“You reading to me is one of the coo
lest things anyone’s done
.
You sorta saved me that night.
” The words barely come out,
and man they make me naked. E
ven though I feel like I’m on a stag
e stripped to less than boxers
,
I don’t care. But I
also
can’t look at her.

“I’m glad.” She tilts her head and touches it to my shoulder
for a moment
before sitting upright.

Like a total ass
I breathe in to smell her hair. It smells earthy, fruity and like Washington rain.

“You know what he really likes?” David leans over the log behind us.

Amber spins to see the same thing I do. David and Brit’s hands locked together.

“He loves it when girls straddle his lap and stick their tongue down his throat.” He laughs and Brit laughs
,
and she follow
s him down the beach, for…
whatever he can talk her into I guess. Though, she didn’t really seem unwilling.

I want to punch him in the face. Asshole.

“And that’s your good friend?” Amber asks.

Now what? Do I defend David? Do I not? “He’s an ass when he’s drinking, but he’s a good guy.”

“Hmm.” Amber sits back and rests her head on my shoulder. I want to take her hand, run my fingers through her hair and kiss her, wrap my arms around her pull her to me,
feel her warmth against me. But I ca
n’t.

I glance up to see Kent walking our way.

“Don’t move until
I reach out my hand.” I stand
.

She looks c
onfused until her eyes catch him
. My hand reaches down to help her up
,
and she takes it, coming to standing, her nose almost touching mine. And shit if I don’t breathe in again.

“Thanks,
”
she whispers
. H
er warm breath hits my face
.

Kent turns around, as if someone called him from the group. Maybe someone did.

Our breath mixes in the cold air
, and something in me forces my body to lean in.
Her lips are so close to mine. So close, like
just the air could bring
her to me or something.

“You saved me from having to kiss you.” She laughs
, drops my hand
,
and walks a step ahead.

Okay
, I should have made that a more definite plan B, or maybe I
should have really pushed for the kiss
to be plan A.

I’m guessing
that the more time I spend with Amber, the more I’m going to feel like she’s a step ahead.

- - -

David and I stand behind Amber’s boat with Amber and Brit.

“So, I’ll see ya.” Brit bites her lip and leans toward him.

His lips immediately find hers
,
and they’re not even trying to be discreet about kissing one another.

Now Amber and I are left in the awkward situation of being two people who don’t kiss, next to two people who suddenly don’t need to come up for air.
I’ve been that guy a lot of times, and now that I’m standing next to David and his tongue half down Brit’s t
hroat—
it’s pretty damn obnoxious. Part of me thinks, I’m me, and it was different when I did it. But it really wasn’t. It’s just that when I was the one with a girl ready to kiss me, I wasn’t going to miss out on the opportunity.

It sucks now that I’m maybe starting to see some of the things Mom was worried about when she sent me out here. I should have fought her harder, begged her to stay. It’s just another thing I’m torn about because she
probably would have gone
overseas anyway
.
The difference being that
we would have been pissed at each other, instead of her excited, and me resigned.

“Night.” Amber
leans forward and puts her arms around me in a hug.

I
hold her for as long as I dare, and then
back
away slowly, hoping for something
, anything. A kiss on the cheek. A
n almost-kiss
.
A
nything
. But when she pu
lls away she steps
quickly
on
to
the boat.

“Come on, Brit.”

I can’t stomach any more of them and walk up to Dad’s boat. David follows a few moments later.

His arm goes around me, his breath stil
l
reeking of scotch. “I told ya. Amber
’s hot, but you’re not
getting anything. N
ot from her
.”

I half shove him into the boat and look back just in time to see Amber turn away and step into her mom’s boat.

Sucks.

- - -

Da
vid has a car pick him up to take him to the airport at some horrible hour of the morning. I wave, way more relieved than I should be that he’s gone, and step back into the boat.

Dad’s at the table.
             

“Sorry to wake you.”
I rub my face and start to my room.

“We need to talk.”
Dad has the same serious tone Mom used to have when she was upset about something. I’m not in the mood.

“Now?” I ask. “I sort of planned on going back to bed.”

“And you can. After we talk.”

I’m feeling a parental lecture coming on
,
and I’m tired, and grouchy with David and with myself for not wanting him here more, and frustrated with Amber. I slump down on the couch around the table.

“I don’t care
if
your friends are
in town. Y
ou do not take alcohol from my cabinet. You’
re almost eighteen.
I sho
uldn’
t need to keep that stuff locked up.”

“What are you talking about?”
I’m completely baffled.

“My scotch.”

Shit. David. I shake my head. “
David had it.
I didn’t know it was yours.”

Dad pauses, watching me for a moment. I think he believes me.
That’s good.

“Can I go back to bed now?” I ask.

“Almost.”

Perfect.

“I want to talk about Amber.”

My chest sinks.
“What?”

His hands are fidgeting with his watch on the table. “Look, I don’t mean to pry into whatever you and Amber have going on, but don’t you have a girl
friend
in New York?”
             

Mom must have said something about Gem.
But we’re not really
together. I haven’t even talked to her.
“Gem. She’s uh…
friend.”

Dad looks over his glasses at me. He’s not buying it. “
Liv
was pretty sure you were…
sleeping together.”

I ignore the effect that Mom’s name still has on my chest. Now I’m feeling irritated. “Having sex. Yes
,
Dad.”

Now I’ve rendered him speechless.  We sit in silence for a few minutes.

“You should be in some kind of a relationship for that, Antony. It’s a big deal.”

“So, Mom sent me here so I could get some lecture on girls? Is that it?”
Anger’s replaced any other feeling I had this morning.

Dad laughs this time. “No. I know nothing. I’m in love with the woman five boats down
,
and I can’t get her to co
mmit to anything. But I’m close to both of them
, and Amber’s a really, really good girl.” The way he says
really, really good girl
tells me that he’d probably prefer for me to keep my hands off.

His laughter and casual tone help me to relax.
“I
don’t think it’s a problem
,
Dad. I
t looks like she’s about to hook up with Captain America anyway.”
David
c
rushed any chance I had
by showing her the side of me she probably doesn’t like much
, and she even told me last night that she’s
trying
to like him. That to me says that she already kind of does.

He pauses before chuckling. “Kent.”

I rub both hands through my hair a few times.
Like pushing my hair will push Kent out of my head.

“
Have you ever had a girlfriend? Been in some kind of a relationship?
” Dad asks.

“Does it matter?”
And what are
the q
ualifications
f
or
that?
Do I need to ask
Will you go out with me?
Cause that hasn’t happened since middle or elementary school.

“It’s just the casualness of
how
you talked about Gem. Girls deserve more than that.”

“No offense, Dad, but it’s been a while since you were seventeen. You’ve never lived in New York. Never been around the kind of girls that I have.”
This is when I remember how different we are,
and
how he doesn’t understand my life.

“Your mom and I lived in New York, and some things are universal. So, I’m guessing you’ve never had someone you’d qualify as a girlfriend.”
His hands clasp together and rest on the table.

I don’t say anything. My first,
Hélèna,
I thought we were, but she laughed when I called her my girlfriend, so we really weren’t. “You don’t need some kind of label to be together.”

He sighs. “I have no idea what to say.”