Spoiled Secrets (24 page)

              I stand to leave the kitchen. “Where are you going pigeon?”

              I laugh.  “Why are you calling me a bird?”

              Peanut lets out a soft tinkering laugh.  “I don’t think I said the right word.  Don’t leave yet!  I gotta say it right before you can leave.  My brother is teaching me how to be a scary good princess.”  Chase leans forward and whispers in her ear.

              “HALT!”  She flings her tiny palms out towards me.  “Where do you think you’re going, PEON?” 
Peon!!
  Really?  I’m going to kick Chase’s ass on the mat, for this insult.

              I can’t help, but laugh as I join the other house occupants in her make believe world.  “Princess Francis, may I leave so that I can return to my quarters, so that I can get ready for my sparring match with you human throne chair?”  I bow low to the ground.

              “I don’t know what twenty-five cents have to do with anything, but I would sure like some twenty-five cents to buy me some gum the next time we go to the store.  You can leave, but first you have to promise me you’ll give me some of your cents and plus, you must serve me.  Bring me some juice, only then you can leave.”

              I get peanuts juice and exit the kitchen, shaking my head all the way to my room as I hear her next question.

              “Momma, why don’t you and Chase bow?  Next time you and Chase need to bow like Amber did for me, when I ask you all questions.  It really make me feel like a princess, okay?”

              “My GOD, I’m going to kill Amber for doing that and giving this little devil ideas.”  Gloria states.  I have no doubt that she’s talking to Chase.

Chapter 28

              I was able to luxuriate in a hot bubble bath as everyone played their given roles in the kitchen by our resident dictator.  It feels good to take a little time to pamper myself.  Gray yoga pants and a pink sports bra is my chosen outfit for today’s sparring match.  I was ecstatic to find that I actually enjoyed MMA (mixed martial arts). 

              The sense of control the act of pinning someone to the mat, is exhilarating!  Especially, on the days that we do spar and I get the upper hand, I walk away feeling like an ultimate badass.  Chase was true to his word, four days a week he trains me in the art of kicking ass.

              To hear him brag on the phone to his BFF’s about my progress, it encourages me to keep going.  I want to give this new found love of mine 100% of my time and effort.  Not wanting to be anyone’s victim ever again spurs me on like nothing else ever could.

              Throughout my many training sessions, I discovered that Chase’s dream since he was small was to be the number one ranked MMA fighter in the world.  Walking into his in-home training gym and seeing all the trophy’s and belts prove the level of commitment he once put into his craft.  It hurt me deeply to learn that he dropped it all after his father’s death.  He said that when they got the news that he died, his passion for the sport died as well. 

              As it has been told to me, his father was one of his biggest supporters.  He was always present at every tournament, always pushing him for greatness.  He stated that he couldn’t continue on knowing that his dad would never be in his corner, ever again.  I understand his reluctance to continue on, but I also know something now that will always keep me moving forward in life. 

              The world that we wake up to every day…this isn’t it!  This right here, it’s just a little blip in the midst of a great vastness of wondrous things, which we mere mortals have yet to discover.  But, I was blessed to experience a glimpse of this other dimension, world, realm, heaven or whatever name people call it.  I’ve learned that your loved ones that have died, truly are not lost to us.  They witness your ups, downs, your accomplishments and your downfalls.  Just because you can’t see them, due to the shackles this world has placed on your sight, does not mean that they have stopped seeing you.  Their souls are able to move around shackle free between realms.  Their sight is not hindered by this realms veil, they are privy of your life’s gruesome demands.  THEY SEE YOU!

              I’ve vowed that I will work diligently to get Chase to understand this.  That, his father walks in his footsteps, where he goes his father follows.  That, he continues to push him to greatness from beyond.  That, he still wants him to achieve his goals and make his dreams a reality.

              I have vowed to pick up the baton where his father left off.  I’ve seen it with my own eyes, there has been a spark rekindled in him.  I’ve seen it with every jab, hook and grappling move that he has schooled me in.  He’s got a real talent and I refuse to sit back and let his flame be extinguished any longer.  I will become his flint against steel.  My flames of encouragement will sear anyone that gets near him.  Especially, the ones with ill words of discouragement. I plan on pushing him to greatness and beyond.  The first step in my plan is for him to fall in love with the sport again. So, I will continue to practice for me, but more importantly, I practice for him.

              My door flings open as I bend to put on my five finger shoes.  We’ve found that they work great on the mats. I look up to see Peanut framed by the door with her hands on her tiny hips.  She’s still dressed in her super-girl pajamas.

              “I think it’s time we talk.”

              “Really?  About what my little superhero?”  I chuckle at her.

              She takes off running at full speed and jumps on our bed, rolls to a stop in the center of the bed and looks at me as if to prove a point.

              “You see that?  Only people with great powers can move like that!”

              “Is that right?”  I ask, continuing to chuckle.  The look she gives me in return tells me that she doesn’t see the humor in what she has just revealed to me.

              “I need you to know that I am a
SUPERHERO,
with superhero powers.  Chase says, I’m a better virgin of superman and plus I’m a girl!”  She says as she points to herself.

              “Do you mean version?”  I smile.

              “That’s what I said!”

              “Okay, if you say so.  So, tell me, what kind of powers do you have?”  I lean over and start to tickle her.

              “I can feel what other people feel and sometimes I know things before they happen.”  She sits up and place her tiny palms on either side of my face.  “If everyone would have listened to me that day, my daddy would be here now.”  My heart stops.

              “Peanut, what are you talking about?  What about your father?”

              “I cried…I cried so much.  They didn’t believe me because I was just a little girl…because I’m little.  But, the voice in here.”  She removes her right hand from my face to wipe away stray tears from her face. She points to her head and heart.  “It told me to tell him, to stay home that day. His car was going to hit something and he was going to not ever come home again.”  She looks at me with watery eyes.

              “What happened?” I whisper.

              “I tried to explain it to everybody...how I was feeling…what the voice told me, but they didn’t listed…even my big brother didn’t believe me.  I even cried and held on his big legs for him to not leave the house, but he did anyway.  And, guess what?”

              “What?”

              “He never came home ever again after that day.”  She looks up at me.  “They all believe me now.  They both believe everything I say when I hear the voices and see the pictures in my eyes.” 

              “Do you hear voices a lot?”  I ask her.

              “Not all the time, just when he wants me to know something important.”

              “When is the last time you heard the voice?” 

              She leans over and kisses me on the cheek.  “The night my big brother saved you.  He told me you were in trouble and he showed me where you were at.”  She’s sitting cross-legged in my bed smiling at me.  “He was keeping your soul, whatever that means. That’s what he wanted me to tell Chase.  He had your soul.”  I gasp.

              I sit stunned into silence.  “I’m on your path, did you know that?  He said to tell you, not to mess up his plans.  I’m on your path, he even sent me to the zoo that day.  I’m glad I went, my big brother is really happy now.” She jumps off my bed and runs to the door, stops and turns back in my direction.

              “Amber, can you run me a bath with lots and lots and lots of bubbles?  I gotta wash all my kibbles and bits!”  She starts to giggle.

              “Kibbles and bits?  What are kibbles and bits, little girl?”

              She points to her chest and butt.  “Chase says little girls have kibbles and bits.  It’s important to always keep my bits clean, he told me that.  One day I’m going to have hubba bubba’s and bits like you and mommy.” 

              I laugh out loud. I know I should not encourage her, but I can’t help myself.  “Hubba Bubba’s and bits?  What’s that?” 

              She points to my breast and leaves the room laughing.  I take a moment to let the entirety of what she revealed to me sink in before I get up to run a small bath with plenty of bubbles, as per her request.

*****

              “
Ahhhhh
!”  I screech as he clips my side.

              “Focus!” He yells at me.  “This is not a game that could have been a broken rib if I would have been swinging with full force.” 

              I’m panting and trying to catch my breath.  “I am focused.”  We’re both circling each other trying to find the weak spots.  I reach in with my right hand, he goes to block me and I execute a text book leg sweep.  Down goes Frazier!

              “Is that focused enough for you?”   I smile down at him.  “Shit!”  I yell as he kicks the back of my knees which causes me to buckle. On my way down he flips me and ends up straddling my body.

              “You have to think and move faster than that to beat me, sweetheart.”  He leans down and gives me a quick peck on my lips.  “Now, tell me why you aren’t giving me your all?”

              I look up at him sincerely.  I know what I’m about to say will make me a hypocrite, but…

              “Are we keeping secrets from each other now?”  He leans back with a perplexed look on his face.

              “Why would you say that?”

              I’m quiet for a minute, not sure why I’m feeling the way I do or if I should divulge what Peanut has shared with me.

              “Peanut came to the room to speak with me before I came down here.”

              “Okay?”

              “Well…”  I’m feeling confused at why he thought he couldn’t confide in me.  “She told me she had
superpowers
.  That, she can read people’s emotions and know things before they happen.  She also told me about your father’s death prediction and how you all didn’t believe her and the outcome of that tragic day.  She told me she’s the one who told you I was in trouble that night.”

              He expels a breath.  “Amber, none of that is a secret.  It just never came up in any conversations.”  He rolls off of me, stands and walks to the door.

              I can tell he’s upset at me.  Why would a simple question upset him?  All I want to know is why he hasn’t spoken to me about any of this before today.  I’m still laying prone on the mat watching him walk to the door.  The only article of clothing he’s wearing are gym shorts and his five finger shoes.  His stance and taunt muscles gives away his anger.  He grabs the door handle without looking back at me.

              “Do you know how many people have shunned my sister because of the things she knows?  Do you know the names and the taunts that have been directed her way?  This is done by not only by children, but adults as well…  Her abilities were not mine to share.  We, my mother and I, let her decide who to share her gifts with.  So, no, I am not keeping secrets from you.”  He still has not turned to look at me. 

              I get to my feet because laying here on the floor when I have obviously offended him is kind of stupid.  Believe me, I don’t need any more help in that department at this particular time.  I should have kept my mouth shut and my emotions to myself.

              “Chase, why are you so upset?”  I ask as I move closer to him.  He shakes his head and lets out a frustrated chuckle.

              “Why am I upset?  You’re a hypocrite Amber!”  I stop in my tracks inches away from him.  “You question me about secrets, that’s epic!  What secrets are you hiding from me?  Let’s talk about secrets.”  He turns with fire in his eyes, his anger burns me at first sight.  I take a few steps back.

              “No babe, don’t retreat now.”  For every step I move back, he moves forward until I’m flush with the wall.  I tentatively look up and quickly look back down. The quick glimpse of him glowering down at me was enough, I don’t need to see his anger.  I can feel it exuding from his pores. 

              “Tell me, why do you hate your father?  Why does he want you dead?  Who attacked you that night?  Why did your father hate me at first sight?  What happened when you flat-lined? 
Who Raped YOU!?  Secrets…”

              I have become the target in his sight.  His arsenal has been locked and loaded, the questions are shooting at rapid fire and they are all hitting their mark.  I stand against the wall slowly shaking my head from side to side.  The trembling that has begun to consume my limbs has infiltrated my vocal cords.