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Authors: Madison Johns

BOOK: Spooky Hijinks
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“I think what Clarence did to his brother and sisters, like locking them out of the house after they cared for patients during the Spanish flu pandemic, caused an irreplaceable curse upon them all. Except Clarence, it would seem. He’s somehow escaped from having to roam the property for an eternity.”

“Does that mean that Sara Knoxville is in danger, too?” Eleanor asked.

“I hope not, but it couldn’t hurt the woman if she knew the truth.”

Eleanor laughed. “She won’t believe a word you say. It might be better if she doesn’t know. Sometimes, the more you know, the more inclined you might be toward having an accident. Plus, Herman Butler didn’t die from natural means. He was murdered on the property,” she reminded me.

“Okay, fine. I won’t tell her.” I now addressed the ghosts. “Why are you out here?”

“You told us to be good while the ghost hunters were here,” Caroline said.

“And this was the only place we could think of hiding,” Malcolm added. “The trick was getting the old timers to come out here.”

“So we took the picture frame out of the attic,” Niles said. “They live in there, you know.”

“Yes, I know that,” I said.

“I don’t like it out here,” Erwin said. “It’s hard seeing so many of our family members that passed before us while we’re stuck to haunt the house for an eternity.”

“But why are you? What if we found your remains? Would you then be able to pass into the afterlife?” I asked.

“I’m not sure if that would work,” Ada said. “Plus, we have no idea where we might be buried.”

“There’s another cemetery in town,” Eleanor said. “But I don’t believe that there are any names on the gravestones, just the year of 1919 or 1920.”

“She’s right,” Lydia said. “We were buried in unmarked graves.”

It was so frustrating for me now, wishing that I could help the ghosts, but unable to. Erwin, Ada, and Lydia deserved to be buried alongside their relatives, not forced to live at the mansion.

“I wish I could help, but I was wondering if you could all come back to the house. Your relative, Sara Knoxville, needs your help.”

“Wait,” Caroline said, “you told us to behave.”

“I know, but she’s so disappointed that there’s no paranormal activity, and the ghost hunters have come a long way. Did I mention how they saved Eleanor and me from being murdered by a maid in the attic at one time?”

Caroline sighed, and Erwin asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Lydia rubbed her hands together. “This sounds like fun. It’s been a long time since I’ve scared anyone.”

I didn’t know how this was all going to play out, but I sure hoped it would be painless for the living. I’d seen the ghosts in the attic in action before, and they really went above and beyond in their haunting tactics.

* * *

Ten minutes later, everyone was in position. The picture frame was in the attic, back on the shelf, and Caroline, Malcolm, and Niles were in position downstairs. The plan was simple. We’d bring Troy and Nate into the attic first, and the Butler descendants would put on the show of their undead lives. It would actually be quite entertaining to see how Troy and Nate would handle actually running into some very spooky spooks.

I walked into the dining room, where there was now an opened wine bottle and half-empty glasses in front of the ghost hunters and a giddy Millicent and Sara. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that the ladies didn’t mind the male companionship that they had at the moment, even though I did think ghost hunters were a little off the charts for Millicent.

“You know, I happened by the attic, and I think I heard something,” I informed them.

“Probably just the roof expanding,” Millicent said. “I’ve heard creaks up there before.”

“No, I’m sure that it was more than that. Didn’t you set up any cameras up there?”

“Yes, and I didn’t hear my sound box go off,” Troy said. He then picked it up and said, “Hmm, Nate, did you turn the equipment off?”

“No, did you?”

“Of course not! We’re here to record paranormal activity, not to flirt with the ladies, you know.”

“I wasn’t flirting with anyone. You were.”

“Seems like you both might have been flirting with Sara and Millicent, but how about you turn your equipment back on.”

Nate got up and went into the drawing room and plugged the cord back in. “That’s strange. Did one of you knock the cord out?”

“Not me. How about you, Eleanor?”

“Not I, said the butterfly.”

Nate then looked at his box and shouted excitedly. “Thermal activity in the attic!”

“After us,” I said. I climbed the stairs and was in the attic before I knew it.

Eleanor and I just stood there as Nate’s box was making a shrill noise, or was that the three dark shapes that came out of the picture frame, rising to the ceiling? Nate and Troy backed up. So contorted were their faces that I just had to take out my iPhone to record it myself. I dropped my phone when the dark shapes took a more solid-looking form, complete with jagged teeth. When they lunged toward the ghost hunters, Nate and Troy took to running from the attic, tripping down the stairs.

Eleanor and I followed them, but as they moved to run downstairs, a black mist blocked their way, and a disembodied voice echoed through the house. They raced up the hallway and were chased, and it was then that I just knew this haunting was headed south real fast. The black mist had soon chased them back toward us, and they took a flying leap toward the steps, tumbling down them.

I bit a fist now until Nate and Troy jumped to their feet, glancing around in a full-on panic. By the time Eleanor and I went down the stairs, we caught sight of the ghost hunters hugging each other, shaking like a leaf set to fall from an oak tree, as all hell broke loose downstairs. Flash bulbs exploded that came from the thermal equipment, and Caroline appeared in her 1930s garb, shouting at Malcolm, who appeared next to her, quite angry. “Don’t you set foot out of this house!” he shouted at her.

She picked up her suitcases and raced toward the wall, leaping through it, unsettling several picture frames, which crashed to the floor, while a startled Sara and Millicent looked on.

Niles showed up next. “Leave Caroline alone, you cad.”

Malcolm and Niles now raced at each other, tumbling together, knocking chairs and a table over as they did. Malcolm’s ghost flew toward the ceiling, but was yanked back by Niles. They then shifted to black mists and flew into one wall after the next until virtually every picture frame in the place had been either unsettled, smashed to the floor, or left dangling and ready to fall at any second.

“I think that’s about enough. You’re wrecking the place!” I shouted. It was then that the ghost hunters were on the move again, racing at full steam straight out the front door.

“Who are you talking to?” Sara asked as she walked into the room. “And how come neither of you seem all that rattled?”

“Because we already know the place is haunted, but it seems like the ghost hunters made the spirits angry.”

Sara shuddered. “I’d have to agree with you there. I guess it wasn’t my best decision.”

“What a bunch of wimps,” Millicent said. “I’ve never seen two men run so fast out the door.”

“Especially since no woman just told them she’s pregnant with their baby.” Sara laughed at her attempt at a joke, and Eleanor and I joined her.

“I snapped a picture of their faces upstairs. You should have seen them come unglued in the attic.”

“They obviously have never actually been in a real haunted mansion before,” Sara said. “And I really don’t think I’m ready for anyone outside of this mansion to ever know just how haunted this mansion really is.”

“I agree with that, and I really believe if you leave the ghosts alone here, they’ll leave you alone.”

“Or at least that’s always been the case,” Eleanor said. “So you had a change of heart about telling your Hollywood friends about your haunted mansion?”

“That’s right. I’m afraid they’d think I was nuts. I hardly believed this place is haunted myself until now. I have a newfound respect of the dead. We’ve conjured something up here now, and I hope that the spirits will calm down again, now that the ghost hunters have gone.”

Sara walked over and took out the memory cards from the camera, which we did for all of the cameras that had been set up. We insisted on retrieving the one from the attic, disposing of it in the trash.

Before I headed back down the stairs from the attic, I stopped and looked at the ghosts who now shifted from black mists into transparent forms that looked more human-like, and said, “You went a little too far, I think. I bet those ghost hunters are in the next county by now.”

“You never said how bad we were supposed to scare them,” Erwin said.

“There’s a little scared,” Ada said.

“And the kind of scare that will have you soiling yourself,” Lydia added with a curt nod.

I sighed. “I should have been more specific, but thanks for your help. The owner even decided it might not be the best idea if anyone found out just how haunted this mansion is.”

The ghosts linked hands, and they turned into black mists that went back into the picture frame where they lived. Caroline, Malcolm, and Niles appeared next.

“That was so fun,” Caroline gushed. “But I think Malcolm and Niles are back at it again.”

“Well, stop all that jealousy stuff. This mansion has had enough of paranormal activity for quite some time. Perhaps I should take Malcolm out to the lighthouse at the point to meet the ghost that lives there. She didn’t much care for your appearance there, though, Caroline.”

“Sounds like the woman for me,” Malcolm said. “Will we be going later?”

“Probably not today. I’m bushed now after this tonight, and I need to help Millicent clean up the mess you left downstairs.”

“And we need to do more investigating tomorrow,” Eleanor added as she joined me. “Come on, Agnes. It’s more of a mess than I thought downstairs.”

Eleanor and I went down the stairs, and guests began coming inside, stepping over the broken picture frames and wreckage that was once the ghost hunter’s equipment.

“What happened?” Trudy asked. “Where are the ghost hunters?”

“Probably Standish by now,” I said.

“They were so upset that this place wasn’t haunted that they had a fit, damaging much of their equipment,” Sara said.

Shane gulped as he joined his wife. “We never meant to cause you any trouble. We were told we’d get a finder's fee if they found paranormal activity.”

Now it all made sense.

“You should probably not do something like that again. A rumor like that could ruin a business.” Especially if they thought it was dangerous like it sure did look right now with the carnage.

Eleanor and I found a box that would hold all of the broken glass without cutting anyone. I pushed a broom while Eleanor manned the dustpan until the place looked more presentable, since Millicent and Sara had busily righted all the furniture.

I felt about to pass out right there and then when a box of Christmas decorations was brought out. Sara enlisted the aid of a couple of the male guests to accompany her outside to bring in the Christmas tree.

“When did you find the time to get a Christmas tree?” I asked her.

“Oh, I had the ghost hunters help me cut a tree down from out back since nothing was happening here. I had planned to put it up after they left.”

“Well, it looks like they’re long gone, but what should we do with their equipment?”

“I suppose we could pile it in a closet. I don’t want the mansion looking like there’s a rummage sale going on in here.”

“Oh, and how many rummage sales do actresses go to these days?”

“Actually, you can find some pretty good stuff at sales in Hollywood. I find the best purses at rummage sales.” She laughed. “It always pays to shop at the homes of star’s assistants,” she said with a wink. “You don’t have to help with the decorations. You ladies have helped us enough. Looks like the guests would love to help with this.”

I glanced around, and sure enough, the guests were admiring the decorations as the tree was brought in and set in a tree stand in the drawing room. Wood was put in the fireplace, too, and soon there was a roaring fire.

I really hated to just go to bed, but I was so tired, and I could tell Eleanor was, too, from the way her eyelids were drooping. We did retrieve the ghost hunters’ equipment from the attic and pulled the door closed until there was a resounding click that meant the door had locked properly behind us. The ghosts who lived in the attic really deserved to be left in peace.

We brought the equipment back down the stairs and stored it in the front closet, nearest to the door. Eleanor and I then went to our separate rooms. I had no sooner climbed into bed and cut the light off when I felt something jump on the bed. I was about ready to ask, “Caroline, is that you?” when Duchess purred in my ear.

“Wherever have you been, you silly cat?”

Duchess then snuggled up to me, and we drifted off to sleep together.

 

              
Chapter Seventeen

I woke up right at six, fully intending to have breakfast before we headed out today. By the time I had showered and dressed in gray plush pants and a sweatshirt for warmth, since we’d be out at the Hills’ place, Eleanor poked her head in. “Good, I worried that I was the only one who was dressed in warmer clothes.” Eleanor lifted the leg of her velvet-looking pink pants and showed me her Santa Claus socks.

“Cute. I’m wearing plain old tube socks. My boots are a little too big,” I said as I pulled on my boots. “We’re so getting breakfast before we leave today. I can smell the bacon all the way up here.”

“I can’t wait to see what they’ve done to the downstairs, decoration wise.”

I got up and agreed with her. “Me, either. I just wish we could have helped. All that traipsing around in the graveyard and paranormal activity had me exhausted.”

Eleanor led the way down the stairs, and the sight took my breath away. All along the arm rails of the stairs, they had hung garland with lights that were lit up. The scent of pine was undeniable, and we walked into the drawing room, where a seven-foot tree stood with gold and silver ornaments that just shone with the all-white lights. Presents were also loaded under the tree, and it reminded me just how close Christmas was, and our wedding.

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