Spooky Hijinks (5 page)

“Thanks, honey. I just hope that your brother will feel that way.”

“I wouldn’t worry about Stuart. He might have a tough exterior, but he wants the best for you. I know he does.”

“I hope that’s the case. I want both of my children to be here when I get married, if that’s even possible. We’d have to ask for permission to be married here. I’m just not sure who we’d need to ask for certain.”

“I’m not sure, Mother, but we’ll get it figured out.” Martha’s hands went to her hips, and she looked at me oddly. “I just wonder, though, how we will find a wedding dress in time for a Christmas Day wedding, or tuxedos for your fiancés?”

“I-I don’t want to wear any blasted penguin suit,” Mr. Wilson muttered.

I had to ask Wilson the question that had been on all of our minds for so long. “So, what’s your first name, anyway, or will the marriage certificate have only the name Mr. Wilson on it?”

“No. I have a first name, you know.”

“Oh?” I didn’t know, none of us knew his first name, but I figured it was about time he spit it out already. “So what is it?”

Wilson opened his mouth, and then snapped it closed, mumbling under his breath. “It’s—” He stopped abruptly.

“I didn’t hear you? It’s what?”

“I’m not telling you, not yet.”

Why was this man making such big business out of a first name? Everyone had one, and his couldn’t be all that strange. “And just why not?”

“Mr. Wilson doesn’t have to tell us if he doesn’t want to,” Eleanor said.

“So what do you call him when, you know—”

“Agnes!” Eleanor gasped. “That’s none of your beeswax. Imagine asking me a question like that!”

“Since when are you so prim and proper, Eleanor? If it were me, you’d have wiggled it out of me.” I quit talking for a minute. “So, you don’t know either, do you?”

“It’s not important to me like it so obviously is to you, Agnes. And why do you care, anyway? You’re not marrying the man, I am.”

“I wonder,” I began, surveying Mr. Wilson’s gray pallor. “Do
you
even know your first name, Wilson?”

Andrew just shook his head, and said, “Agnes Barton, you really won’t let this one go, will you? Quit pestering the man. He doesn’t have to tell us right now, or at all. Eleanor’s the only one who needs to know.”

“I know my name,” Mr. Wilson said with a curt nod, moving his walker toward the door. “We’ll be late for the card party. I thought we were going, or are we just gonna sit here all day, talking about this nonsense?”

“Mr. Wilson’s right,” Eleanor said, leading the way toward the door. “I don’t care if he never tells me his first name, so there.”

Andrew ran for the door and helped Mr. Wilson down the few steps while Eleanor carried his walker to the bottom for him, handing it back to him once he was ready.

Martha laughed. “It must be some name if he doesn’t want anyone to know. It’s like one of your mysteries. Maybe you should investigate this further?” she asked, nudging me in the ribs.

Martha locked up before we all piled into the Cadillac, with Martha seated between Eleanor and Wilson, who were blowing kisses to each other like a couple of kids in love. It made my stomach hurt. I mean, the thought of Mr. Wilson and Eleanor was a little hard to imagine. Oops, too late. I had a terrible mental picture in my mind now. I had been quite shocked when Eleanor had taken up with Mr. Wilson. Their romance began over at Walmart, in the grocery section, with his offer to cook her tuna casserole for a dinner date. Mr. Wilson was frail, but I had to admit they made a cute couple, in an odd sort of way. Lord knew it was hard enough to meet a man worthy of dating or marrying. Most seniors our age much preferred not to get married, only date, with some of them insisting on retaining their separate homes. As for Andrew and me, we’d reconnected when he showed up in Tawas City. Yes, life sure took an unexpected turn for all of us.

“I’m starving,” I said. “We never even had lunch.”

“Elsie will only have snacks, and spiked lemonade,” Eleanor said. “Why don’t we stop at Augie’s on the Bay? I just love that quaint restaurant.”

“That sounds great,” Andrew said. “I love their fish dinners.”

“I’m fine with that, too,” I said.

Andrew drove, and we were soon on US 23, heading south. Augie’s on the Bay was known for good food and big portions. And it really was right on the bay, across from Neiman’s Family Market. I gazed up and saw that it was already getting dark, even though it was only around five thirty. Of course, that’s how things were in December.

Andrew parked, and we were soon walking in the door of the restaurant. The place was full of locals who were reading newspapers, chatting amongst themselves, or gorging on their meals. Luckily, there was a table empty near the window, where we could gaze out over the bay. I looked straight across the lake. The lighthouse was visible, with the light blinking already.

We had no more than sat down than a vivacious server darted over. Her dark hair was pulled up into a ponytail, and she smiled, revealing braces on her pearly teeth.

“Hello, Peggy,” I greeted her. “I didn’t know you worked this time of day.”

“Well, one of the other servers couldn’t find a babysitter, so I volunteered to work her shift.”

That was Peggy to a tee. She works two jobs, one of them at the County Medical Center, Tawas’s local nursing home, where Eleanor was placed at one time before I helped to spring her. These days, we only go out there whenever they have special occasions, like their legendary bake sales.

“That’s so nice of you,” I said.

“Are you all having coffee today? We have vanilla creamer,” Peggy hinted, knowing me well since I came here often enough.

“No, thanks. I’d love a Diet Coke. If I drink coffee at this time of day, I’ll be up all night.”

“You do know that Coke has caffeine too, don’t you, Agnes?” Eleanor said with a grin.

“I know that, Eleanor. Do you really always have to pipe in your two cents worth of nonsense?”

We mused over our menus until Peggy came back, setting our drinks down. “We’ll all have the perch,” Andrew told her. I didn’t mind a man ordering for me every once in a while. I’m not a feminist, by any means, but I consider myself quite an independent woman. It sure would feel strange when Andrew and I were married, but I had to think that it would be in a good way. Andrew traveled a lot between Detroit and Tawas, since he still worked as an attorney, but of late, he’s stuck pretty close to home. Sure, we had our vacation to Nevada, but there simply was no place like Tawas and Lake Huron.

“Is that you over there, Agnes?” Dorothy Alton asked.

I nodded in agreement. Dorothy and her husband, Frank, were sitting at the table next to ours.

“What you girls up to today?” Dorothy asked.

“Jesus, Dorothy, stop shouting, would you,” Frank bellowed. “Go over there and talk to them.”

Dorothy strolled over. “I’m so happy to see you girls. I was so lost while you were in Nevada. If I’d known where you were going, Frank and I would have gone along.”

I smiled so hard that I thought my cheeks would pop. Having Frank and Dorothy along for vacation was so not on the top of my to-do list. They had the habit of getting into shouting matches at times, like when Frank had his hearing aid turned down as he was wont to do.

“Frank must have new batteries in his hearing aid,” I said. “I’ve never known him to hear much of anything, even with it in place.”

She put up a hand and whispered. “Actually, I broke off the piece that controls the volume. Now he thinks everyone is shouting, even when they aren’t.”

“But is that a good thing or bad thing?” Eleanor asked.

Dorothy’s eyes narrowed slightly, but she agreed with Eleanor as she said, “I have to admit, I think we get along much better when he doesn’t hear everything I say.”

I was so glad to see Eleanor and Dorothy getting along. There was a time they were downright enemies, like when Eleanor would flirt with Frank, but since Eleanor began dating Mr. Wilson, that all changed, other than when they liked to argue good-naturedly for the fun of it.

“We’re getting married,” Eleanor said.

“Who?” Dorothy asked, looking around like she had no idea who Eleanor could possibly be talking about.

“Oh, Dorothy,” Frank shouted over, “you know Eleanor and Mr. Wilson are engaged.”

Dorothy gave him a look. “I know, but I was wondering if she meant Agnes and Andrew, too.”

“Actually, we’re getting married, too,” I said.

“On Christmas Day, if we manage to get the arrangements made in time,” Eleanor said with a sigh.

“Of course, you’ll have to find a dress your size, Eleanor. I’m not sure you’ll be able to find one with this short of notice,” Dorothy said.

“Are you suggesting that I’m too fat and that nobody in town would have a dress my size?” Eleanor asked, standing.

Dorothy backed up. “Oh, no. I’d never say a thing like that. This is just last minute is all I meant.”

“Would you just sit down, Eleanor? Don’t be so darned sensitive,” I said, hoping to diffuse the situation.

Dorothy wrung her hands. “I’m awful sorry, Eleanor. I didn’t mean to sound mean or anything. I just know plus-sized women have trouble finding clothes sometimes.”

“Dorothy, get back over here, and quit bothering them,” Frank grumbled.

Dorothy pouted and actually did what Frank said! I couldn’t believe it, and neither could Eleanor from the way her mouth gaped open. She didn’t remark about it, though, since our dinners were brought over right then.

Andrew smiled. “I love you, but I’d really love to know what you were up to earlier today.”

“Oh, well—” I crammed a piece of fish in my mouth so I wouldn’t have to answer that loaded question, and Eleanor followed suit, pretending her mouth was even more loaded than it was.

“Give it up, man,” Wilson said. “You know these two can handle whatever comes their way. They always do.”

“Not always without injuries.”

“You’re gonna marry Agnes soon. Seems like you’d be used to her and Eleanor’s activities and give it a rest.”

I could have kissed Mr. Wilson right then if he
so
didn’t appeal to me, or wasn’t Eleanor’s beau.

“I know you’re right, but I can’t help but worry when I know that they’re up to no good.”

I took a drink. “It’s not nearly as bad as it seems.”

I said it, but didn’t mean it as I glanced over and saw that Curtis and Curt Hill were standing near the door, motioning me over. Oh, great. Andrew would find out more than I wanted him to know for sure now. I nonchalantly got up. “I hafta pee,” I announced. “Come with me, Eleanor,” I added.

She was chomping on french fries when I gave her one of my legendary looks that meant business.

“Oh, okay. Sure.”

“In that small bathroom?” Dorothy said from her table.

I raced across the room and headed straight out the door once Andrew and Mr. Wilson seemed to not be paying us too much attention.

Eleanor came through the door after me and then spotted the Hill boys. We followed them back to their truck, and I asked, “What’s going on here?”

Curtis whipped a palm through his hair. “Oh, nothing except that damn kid, Robert, turned up missing.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Well, because the sheriff came out with that son of yours, asking questions.”

“Stuart? Why would he come out? He works for the FBI.”

“Exactly my point. Apparently, he’s been watching Robert’s activities as part of some kind of sting that we walked right into.”

“Oh, no. What did he say?”

“He wants to know if we did something to Robert is what. His mother, Vivian, told the sheriff that we might have wanted her son dead,” Curtis said. “I bet you’ll be questioned next. Well, I wanted to at least give you a heads-up.”

“Thanks, but you didn’t do anything to Robert, did you?”

“Look, I might be involved with the militia, but I’m not like that. I’d never kill a kid just because he stole our guns—which we got back, thanks to you.”

“What did they say about the guns?”

“Nothing, which makes me wonder why Vivian never mentioned that part, at least not yet. I’m not going up the river for harming that kid. Maybe you should investigate his disappearance. Of course, if he was working for someone else, he very well might be dead.”

“Don’t say that. He’s just gone into hiding, perhaps. If I found out some militia member knew that I was the one who had stolen their guns, that’s what I’d do.” I made eye contact with Curt now and asked, “Hey, Curt, how are you?”

His face was white, and he rubbed his leg. “Okay. Your granddaughter sent someone out to the house to dig out the shot. Seems she didn’t want to get involved with doing it herself. So for that, I’ll have to thank her. You can tell her that I said thanks. I hardly want to tangle with Trooper Sales.”

“Aww, he’s not so bad.”

I watched as Curtis and Curt got back into their truck and left with a trail of gravel behind them, since there was no snow on the ground as of yet. When I turned around to go back inside the restaurant, Andrew was standing by the door. I smiled as I passed him.

“Why were you outside talking to the Hill boys?”

“They just stopped by and thanked me for dropping their mother off earlier when they were stranded on the side of the road.” Not a total lie.

“I wonder,” he said. “But I’ll let it drop for now.”

Eleanor and I went back to the table and finished our dinner in silence. The entire time, Andrew gave me quite the look, and I knew this wasn’t over by a long shot.

              
Chapter Four

When we left the restaurant, Andrew drove again. Knowing that we were headed to Elsie Bradford’s house, I protested when he headed onto 55. “Elsie doesn’t live on 55. She lives on Plank Road,” I said.

“Not anymore. Haven’t you heard that Elsie and Jack Winston are shacking up?” Andrew said with a laugh.

I shot Andrew a shocked look. “Surely you must mean that they’re simply seeing each other, or dating casually.”

“Nothing casual about Elsie moving in with Jack out at the place his son bought for them.”

“That makes no sense. Why, Elsie has a great place on Plank Road. A real nice place, I might add.”