Stand by Me (19 page)
She knew from the expression on his face that however he’d learned, he’d learned it the hard way, and she suddenly felt that she’d trespassed into a secret corner of his life. ‘It’s OK,’ she said hastily. ‘No need to tell me. I’m being nosy.’
‘You should be,’ said Greg. ‘And . . . well, Domino, I’d like to tell you.’
‘I know.’
‘It was a girl,’ he said.
She was surprised. There had been a time when she’d wondered if Greg was gay, although his engagement to Emma had put paid to that idea (Emma had confided in her that Greg was way hotter in bed than she’d ever expected. Too much information, Dominique had told her, and then added that it must be a Delahaye trait, because Brendan was no mean performer himself.) Nevertheless, Dominique sometimes thought that Greg was far too sensitive for a man. Even so, she hadn’t imagined that he was the sort of person who’d let his heart be broken by a girl.
He had met her when he was nineteen and she was seventeen. Maria and her family were in Cork on holiday, he explained, three weeks in a caravan near the seashore. They’d met on the beach and he’d fallen instantly in love with her.
‘I say that now,’ he told Dominique, ‘but we were only kids. I couldn’t have been in love with her. I just thought I was.’
Dominique didn’t say that she hadn’t been much older than him when she’d married his brother, and that nobody had considered her to be a kid.
Greg and Maria had made vows to write to each other every day and phone whenever possible. He’d written five letters before he realised that she wasn’t replying, and when he’d called the house he was told that she was busy and didn’t want to talk to him. So he went to find her.
She lived in the Midlands, in an even smaller town than Castlecannon. He arrived at the house late one afternoon and demanded to see her. Her father came out and told him that if he ever showed his face in the town again, he’d kill him. Greg had been mystified by the older man’s anger.
And then he’d learned the truth from Maria’s older sister. Maria had been pregnant. She’d tried to kill herself.
‘God Almighty.’ Dominique was shocked.
‘Think about it, Domino,’ said Greg. ‘It was Ireland in the eighties. No contraception. Abortion totally out of the question. She was from a tiny village. She couldn’t handle the shame.’
Dominique understood. A few years earlier and it could have happened to her too. It had been a different time. A different country.
‘She’d taken sleeping tablets. They got her to hospital, but she lost the baby.’ He cleared his throat. ‘My baby.’
‘Oh, Greg.’
‘Everyone thinks it’s only women who are traumatised by unplanned pregnancies or miscarriages or anything to do with childbirth, but I . . . I couldn’t stop thinking about everything. About her. About her taking the tablets. About the baby. Whether it felt anything. I obsessed about it, Domino, until I simply couldn’t get up in the mornings. And so my parents - Irish parents of a generation who didn’t believe in therapy or anything like that - finally realised that I had to see someone. They arranged for me to go to a therapist and ultimately I got through it, but it was the hardest thing ever for me.’
‘Did they know?’ asked Dominique. ‘About the girl and the baby?’
‘Eventually,’ he said. He looked rueful. ‘I think they thought it had all been for the best. That it would have been a disaster if she’d had the baby.’
‘Yes,’ said Dominique. ‘I can see how they might think that way. I can also see why you wouldn’t. Does Emma know?’
He shook his head again. ‘It was a long time ago,’ he said. ‘I put it into my past. It’s not something I want to talk to her about. It’s not the same with you. I was reminded of what it was like ...’
‘When I had my depression after Kelly?’
‘I know it was a very different situation, but I understood what you were going through. And I desperately wanted you to connect with Kelly. I couldn’t bear to think that you couldn’t love her.’
‘I love her more than anything,’ said Dominique simply. ‘And you’ve been a total tower of strength for me, Greg.’
‘I’m glad,’ he said. ‘I care about you, Domino. I want things to work out for you and Brendan and Kelly. It makes me think that life can be OK when I see you all together.’
Dominique liked having someone who understood how she’d once felt, and who understood, too, that if she ever felt down now, it didn’t mean that she was about to lose herself in a full-blown depression. With Brendan she always tried to appear upbeat, no matter how she was feeling inside. With Greg, she didn’t have to. And that was why she and Greg had a connection that she knew she could never have with anyone else.
She was feeling upbeat now, as she sat down beside Emma, welcoming the time out with her friend.
‘All’s good with me,’ she said. ‘What has you in town? Shopping spree?’
‘Mam isn’t too well at the moment,’ Emma told her. ‘I’ve come up for a few days to keep an eye on her.’
‘Oh, gosh, sorry to hear that. What’s the matter with her?’
‘Stomach trouble. She feels sick all the time and isn’t eating.’
‘Has she seen a doctor?’
Emma nodded. ‘He’s sending her for tests. Dad says she seems to be getting a bit better, but I thought I should come up.’
‘Greg didn’t come with you?’
Emma shook her head. ‘He’s busy at work and he’s got stuff to do at home too.’
A waiter asked them if they’d like something to eat, and both of them ordered sandwiches and coffee.
‘I’m sure everything will be fine,’ said Dominique.
‘Thanks.’ Emma smiled at her. ‘I’ll let you know, of course.’
‘I haven’t spoken to Greg in ages,’ said Dominique idly, after a lull in their conversation. ‘He’s well?’
‘Sure.’
‘Is work going OK for him? He seems to be busy all the time. I remember the last time we talked he said he was under a heap of stress. I didn’t realise IT was so demanding.’
‘You’re always far too worried about Greg.’ Emma said. ‘He’s fine.’
‘I’m not at all worried about Greg,’ Dominique told her. ‘I’m just hoping that everything’s all right for him, that’s all.’
‘You should be more concerned about me,’ said Emma.
‘Why?’ Dominique looked anxious. ‘Is there something wrong with you?’
‘No, no,’ said Emma. ‘I’m pregnant, that’s all.’
‘Hey, Em! That’s great news!’ Dominique’s face lit up.
‘We were trying for a while and it was taking longer than either of us expected, but now that it’s happened I’m a bit scared,’ confessed Emma.
‘Oh, listen, I’m sure you’ll be fine and not a basket case like me,’ said Dominique cheerfully. ‘And I bet you and Greg will be great parents.’
‘We’ll do our best.’
‘If you’re worried about anything yourself, just give me a call. When are you due?’
‘I’m just three months gone.’ Emma couldn’t keep the excitement from her voice.
‘And how are you feeling?’
‘OK so far,’ said her sister-in-law.
‘Stand up and let me see you.’
‘Don’t be stupid.’
‘Oh, go on! You don’t look like you have a pick on you.’
Emma grinned but stood up and turned around.
‘You still don’t look like you have a pick on you,’ said Dominique as she sat down again.
‘I feel really fat, and sooner or later I’ll balloon out,’ said Emma. ‘But I’m hoping to keep wearing my proper clothes for as long as I can.’
‘You make me laugh, Emma Walsh,’ said Dominique in amusement. ‘You know that you’re absolutely gorgeous and you’ll probably be the most stunning pregnant woman in the history of the world.’
‘Get lost.’ Emma laughed but looked pleased all the same.
‘And is Greg delighted?’
‘Absolutely thrilled,’ confirmed Emma. ‘He’s definitely going to be a great dad. To be honest, he drives me demented. He never stops giving me advice and telling me to take it easy and . . . Well, at this stage he’s read more books than me about it!’
‘That’s Greg for you,’ agreed Dominique. ‘Takes it all so seriously.’
‘Yes, well, if I’ve to go through nine months of being wrapped in cotton wool ...’ Emma shook her head. ‘However, I’ll do my best.’
She reached into her bag and took out a small parcel wrapped in glossy pink paper. ‘Oh, and before I forget, I have a present for Kelly. It’s a pretend make-up set. I hope it’s not too girlie for her.’
‘She’ll love it,’ Dominique told her. ‘She’s turning from a happy scruff into the vainest child you could possibly imagine. It’s because everyone keeps telling her how pretty she is.’
Emma smiled. ‘She’s a dote.’
The waiter returned with their sandwiches and coffee.
‘Is that OK?’ said Dominique as she watched Emma scrape coleslaw from between the bread.
‘Should have asked for it without, can’t bear the taste right now.’
After a couple of minutes, Emma shoved her half-eaten sandwich to one side.
‘Not hungry,’ she told Dominique. ‘I think I’m starving and then I feel full after a few mouthfuls.’
Dominique nodded. ‘I remember what that was like.’
‘Haven’t you ever wanted another child?’ asked Emma curiously.
‘No.’ Dominique’s face tensed for a moment. ‘I just couldn’t do it again.’
‘Ah, you’re right if you don’t want to. No bother to June to keep popping them out, though.’ Emma knew not to pursue the issue with Dominique. It was one thing she knew she never discussed.
Dominique relaxed and smiled. ‘I know. She made such a fuss about Alicia but then kept on going.’
‘Alicia is lovely, but that Joanna is a spoiled little madam and Maurice Junior is a lethal force.’
‘Agreed.’ Dominique glanced at her watch. ‘D’you want another coffee?’
Emma hesitated and then nodded. ‘And then I’d better get going. I told Dad I’d be there before four.’
‘If there’s anything I can do to help with your mum, just tell me,’ said Dominique after she’d ordered the coffee. ‘We’re all family now.’
‘I know.’ Emma began to pick at the crusts of her discarded sandwich. ‘Speaking of family . . . how’s Gabriel?’
‘He’s fine,’ Dominique replied. ‘Ministering away.’
‘Still in Donegal? No sign of him moving parish?’
‘Not that I know.’ Dominique shook her head. ‘Though I’m sure he must be getting tired of Rossanagh by now. The population’s only a few hundred. I sometimes think of him rattling around like Father Ted in some creaky old parish house with ancient furniture and a mad housekeeper and I feel sorry for him. But he’s probably happy as a pig in shit there.’
‘Domino!’
Dominique grinned. ‘It’s true.’
‘I heard he was in Dublin. Did you meet him?’
‘How on earth did you know that?’ Dominique looked at her in astonishment.
‘Oh, Greg mentioned it. Brendan told him that your parents had called around for Kelly’s birthday and annoyed you. And then he said you were going to see Gabriel.’
Dominique nodded. ‘It was only a flying visit,’ she said. ‘Anyway, there’s no sign of him leaving his ancient parishioners and their sheep for the bright city lights.’
‘I was wondering ...’
‘What?’
‘D’you think he’d mind if I called him?’
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