Star Crazy Me (9 page)

“I dunno.” Josh screwed up his face, considering the matter. “Maybe you should go and talk to the old lady first?”

I looked at him, doubtfully. “She's in hospital. I don't know whether she'd want to see me.”

“You could give it a go.”

“But I don't know which hospital she's in!”

“You could
ask
?” said Josh. “Or is that too simple?”

I sighed. “No, I s'pose not.”

“It seems pretty simple to me.”

“
All right!
I'll ask. Don't keep on! What have you done to your eye?” I'd noticed earlier that it was all brown and yellow, like it had been bruised. “Did you bump into something?”

“Yeah, somebody's fist.”

“You're joking!”

“I'm not joking.”

“You had a
fight
?” Josh isn't the sort of person to get into fights. “Who with?”

“Lance, if you must know.”

Him
again. I said, “That thug! He should be locked up. What happened?”

“Nothing much. I just objected to something he said.”

“Why? What did he say?”

There was a silence.

“Josh!” I screamed it at him. “
What did he say?
”

“Something stupid.”

“
What?
”

“I'm not going to tell you, so there's no point yelling. Just forget about it, OK? It's all over and done with.”

Sometimes you have to accept when you are beaten. When Josh clams up, there's no getting anything from him. He can be
really
obstinate.

I said, “OK! But I bet I'll find out.”

“Dunno how,” said Josh. “That'd mean coming back
to school… You gonna come back to school?”

Crossly I said, “Might've known you'd start on that.”

“I'm entitled,” said Josh.

“Just cos you came out to your mum and dad!”

“That's right. Can't accuse
me
of being a coward! Not now. You're the only cowardly one!”

We stood there: me bristling, Josh triumphant. Josh said, “
Well
?”

I wasn't going to quarrel with him again. I'd
hated
the last ten days, without Josh and Indy.

“Tell me what Lance Stapleton said, then maybe…”

“What?”

“Maybe I'll think about things.”

“Not good enough!”

“Why won't you tell me?”

“Why won't you go in for the contest?”

We were going round in circles. It was quite a relief when the door opened and Josh's mum came in.

“Sorry to break things up,” she said, “but Josh, it
really is time we left. I promised Nan we'd be there for lunch.”

His other nan, that was. Imagine having
two
nans, who both loved you! Mrs Daniels told me to jump in the car and she'd give me a lift up the road. As I got out at the entrance to our block, Josh stuck his head out the window and hissed, “
Saved by the bell!
”

There was nothing I could say in return, not in front of his mum. I had to content myself with a rude gesture and hope she didn't notice. Josh yelled, “See you Monday!” Then he closed the window back up and the car sped off down the road.

After Josh and his mum had gone I stood there on the pavement, wondering what to do. I couldn't go back indoors, I felt too unsettled. The inside of my head was churning. First I thought of Mrs P, then of Lance Stapleton. Then of my guitar – would I ever get it back? Then of school – what was I going to do? Then of Josh
and his black eye. What could Lance have said to him? Called him names, was my bet. Something horrible. Something anti-gay. But why wouldn't he tell me?

He'd said if I wanted to find out I would have to go back to school. That meant that other people had been there when it happened; there were other people who knew. Indy, for instance. Indy would know! But was I brave enough to call her? I flipped open my mobile.
Do
it! Don't think, just DO it
.

OK! I would. I hooked my hair back over my ears, like clearing the decks kind of thing.
Getting prepared
. Then I took a breath… and did it!

It was Indy's mum who answered. She said, “Hallo, stranger! Haven't heard from you for a while.” At least her mum sounded friendly. Maybe Indy hadn't told her.

I swallowed and said, “Is Indy there?”

Her mum said she was. “I'll get her.
InDEEEEE!
It's Carmen.”

I'd gone all tense. What would I do if she refused to
speak to me? And then I heard her voice, a bit guarded, at the other end of the line. “Carm?”

I said, “Indy?”

There was a pause. I knew that it was up to me. I opened my mouth and the words came babbling out.

“Indy I'm sorry I yelled at you I didn't mean it, it was just I was so worried about Josh in case he thought I'd given him away cos it was like this huge big secret just between the two of us and—”

“It's OK,” said Indy. “I understand.”

“I've kept meaning to ring you!”

“Me, too.”

“I wish you had!”

“Wish you had.”

Shamefaced, I mumbled, “I thought you mightn't want to hear from me any more.”

“I thought you mightn't want to hear from me.”

“I was just in a panic. I didn't mean it! Honest!”

There was another pause, then Indy said, “So how you doing?”

“OK. How you?”

“OK.”

“You been away?”

“Went to visit my auntie. What you been up to?”

“Nothing much. Just – you know! Messing around. Listen, can I come over?”

“What, like now?” said Indy.

“I need to talk to you!”

She hesitated. “See, it's difficult,” she said. She sounded a bit embarrassed. “I'm meeting Arvid.”

“Arvid? You're actually going out with him?” Arvid was this boy from Year 9. I knew she fancied him, but the last I'd heard she was still at the stage of plucking up her courage to actually say something. “Did he ask you?”

“No,” said Indy. “I asked him!”

“You didn't?” I couldn't believe it! Timid Indy, asking a boy to go out with her? “Tell me you're joking!”

“I'm not. He kept smiling at me like he really wanted to say something, so in the end we got talking, and—”

“How?” I said. “How did you get talking?”

“Well, you know… I said hi, and he said hi, and then we sort of… went on from there.”

“And you actually asked him out?”

“I s'pose it was more like we asked each other out. If you know what I mean.”

I wasn't sure that I did. I wondered how I felt about it. I stayed off school for just a few days and my best mate went and got herself a boyfriend… I'd pictured her with Connie, but I'd never even considered Arvid. I said, “So where are you meeting him?”

“Outside Gap.”

“What time?”

“Two o'clock… I could always get there a bit earlier, if you like.”

I grabbed eagerly at the suggestion. We arranged to meet up in twenty minutes, so I immediately went whizzing off to the bus stop to catch a bus into town.

Indy was there waiting for me on a bench.

“So what's happening?” she said. “Are you coming back to school?”

I said, “No! Yes – maybe. I don't know. I've just been to see Josh. It's awful. Everyone I know is getting beaten up!”

“Why? Who else has?” said Indy.

“This old woman that I've been seeing. She's just been mugged and it might be my fault!”

So then it all burst out of me, all over again, and I told Indy, just like I had told Josh, all about Mrs P and how she'd invited me to the opera and I'd said no
thank
you
, in a rather rude sort of way.

“I'd have said the same,” said Indy. “I mean, who'd want to sit through an opera?”

I said, “Nobody that had any sense, but I didn't have to be nasty about it.” I didn't add that the only reason I'd been so unpleasant was that Mrs P had kept nagging me about the talent contest. I didn't want Indy starting up. “At least with Josh I don't have to feel guilty,” I said. “At least
that
wasn't my fault.”

“No. I s'pose not.”

I looked at Indy rather sharply. Did I detect a note of doubt in her voice?

“I mean, it was Lance Stapleton, right?”

“Mm.” She nodded.

“What did he say? Was he being anti-gay?”

“Ye-e-es… but that wasn't how it started.”

“So how did it start?”

That was when she told me. It was Marigold again. Loud mouthing. Saying how my name was still on the list of entrants for the contest, but that I obviously wouldn't have the guts to actually go through with it.

“I mean—” Indy waved a hand. “What with her precious sister, and all.”

What with me being so fat, and all. That was what she meant, only being Indy she was too kind to say it.

“What exactly happened?” I said.

“Well, Josh started laying into her. Told her she was totally mindless. Said she was a body fascist.”

“Josh said that?”

“Yes, and lots of people agreed with him. So then Lance told Josh that Marigold was his girl and Josh had just better watch what he was saying, and then he called him a poof, and—”

“Then he hit him.”

Indy said, “No, Josh hit
him
.”

“Josh hit
Lance
?”

“Yes, and everybody cheered! So then Lance got really mad and hit him back, and next thing we know Mr Cotton's arrived and they're being put on report.”

“Both of them? That's not fair!”

“Josh did hit him first,” said Indy.

“But he gave Josh a black eye!”

Indy giggled. “You should see Lance – he's all blubber-lipped! I think one of his teeth got broken.”

“Wow!” I couldn't help feeling pleased, even though I strongly disapprove of violence. I think that boys punching each other is truly pathetic. Like boxing. It is just so barbaric. But I still felt pleased!

“So what you gonna do 'bout the old woman?” said Indy.

I sighed. “Guess I'll have to go and see her.”

“Seems only right.”

I knew that it was – and not just because I felt guilty. Because I owed it to her. And because I really cared. I'd sort of grown fond of her, in an odd kind of way.

“Look, there's Arvid,” I said. “I'd better be going.”

“You don't have to,” said Indy; but I knew she wouldn't want me hanging around. Not on her first date.

I told her to have fun, and quickly made myself scarce. I still didn't feel like going home. I felt like it even less now than I had before. The thought of Josh going off to see his nan, and Indy going off with her new boyfriend, made me all tearful and self-pitying. I am
never
tearful! And I do try very hard not to give way to self-pity. If ever I am tempted, I quickly look round for something to take my mind off it. Something positive that I can do. Something that will distract me.

I decided that I would pluck up my courage and visit Mrs P. I would do it
right now
. I would find out from her neighbour which hospital she was in, and I would go there that very afternoon. I just hoped it wasn't the same hospital where Nan had been, cos that was a place I didn't ever want to go back to.

I wasn't absolutely certain which flat the neighbour had come from, but while I was dithering in the hallway she suddenly appeared – from Mrs P's! And there was Mrs P, right behind her.

“Oh!” I said. “You're back!” I knew I must have sounded relieved; I just hoped I sounded happy. Cos I
was
happy. “Are you feeling better?”

“She's been badly shaken up,” said the neighbour. “I've told her she ought to be in bed, taking it easy.”

“Nonsense!” said Mrs P. She sounded almost like her old self, but I could hear that her voice was a bit cracked and crumbly. “I'm perfectly all right! It takes more than some young hoodlum to put me out.”

“I was going to come and visit you in hospital,” I said.

“Well, now you can come and visit me at home… come in, come in!”

“She ought to be in bed,” said the neighbour.

Mrs P waved a hand. “Go away, Betty, and stop fussing over me! Carmen, get inside. What are you dillying about for?”

Me and the neighbour looked at each other and pulled faces.

“In, in! Come along, I don't want to be standing here all day. Have you had any lunch?”

I suddenly realised that I hadn't. I hadn't eaten a thing since breakfast, and I hadn't even noticed! Mrs P told me to go into the kitchen and forage. “You'll find stuff in the fridge. I'll just have a cup of tea.”

I thought that really she should eat something, so I did some bread and butter, all daintily cut into triangles and laid out on a plate, and opened a jar of peaches in brandy. I'd never had peaches in brandy, but they
looked tempting. At first Mrs P said she didn't want anything, but I was stern with her.

“You've got to eat,” I said. “You need to keep your strength up.”

“My dear girl,” she said, “you sound like someone's mother!” But she ate two triangles of bread and butter and one whole peach, so I felt that I had been right to bully her.

“I'm terribly sorry,” I said, “about what happened. It must have been really frightening!”

She dismissed it, airily. “Just one of those things. One of the hazards of modern living.”

“I should have gone with you,” I said. “They mightn't have done it if there'd been two of us.”

“Now, please,” said Mrs P, “don't start blaming yourself. It was entirely my own fault – at least, so my friend Betty informs me. Old women of my age ought not to go gallivanting at that time of night. Besides, you didn't want to come with me. I can understand that; opera's not a young person's thing. There's no reason
you should be expected to play nursemaid to an old lady. And besides, it wasn't the reason I asked you. You know why I asked you. Don't you?” She looked at me, sharply; obviously expecting some kind of reply. I grunted.

“Did you go away and think about it, as I told you?”

I made another grunting sound.

“Well? Don't sit there snuffling and honking like some kind of animal! What conclusion did you come to?”

I breathed, very deeply. “I s'pose… I'll have to do what you want.”

“It's not about what I want! It's about what you want. Do you want to be a singer, or don't you?”

“Yes,” I said, “I do!”

“Right, well, there you are, then. That's settled. We obviously have a lot of work ahead of us. We should get started as soon as possible! You had better come round tomorrow.”

I thought,
Why is she so nice to me when I have been
so horrid to her
?

“About midday. Is that all right?”

I said, “Yes!” And then, before I could stop my great clacking mouth I came bursting out with it: “Why are you being so nice to me?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Do you not expect people to be nice to you?”

“Only if I'm nice to them. I've been really rude to you, haven't I?”

“A natural reaction. I'd probably have been rude to some interfering old baggage who kept nagging at me. But the answer to your question is quite simple. It's not that I'm a sweet old lady – well, you've probably noticed that for yourself. It's your voice I'm after! I can't bear the thought of a promising voice going to waste. I should like to think that one of these days I might be known as the teacher of Carmen Bell!”

I smiled, a bit uncertainly. She had to be joking, right?

“My dear,” she said, “I'm perfectly serious. You
surely don't imagine I'd waste my time and energy on some rude, sullen girl if she didn't have a voice?”

I grinned at that.

“Smirk as much as you like,” she said. “We'll have no more sulks! Now, you'd better be off and leave me to get some rest. I've just been mugged, you know. I ought to be in bed! Don't forget your guitar.”