Stark (49 page)

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Authors: Ben Elton

Tags: #Modern fiction, #Fiction, #General

BOOK: Stark
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243: IF ONLY

I
f only,’ people sighed, ‘if only we had done something. Acted when we still had time, even just ten years ago,’ they said, ‘back in the late eighties, the early nineties when there was still time. The signs were all there, why didn’t we do something.’

But they hadn’t, back in ‘89, ‘90 and ‘91, the years when the decisions needed to be taken, nothing had been done. People had listened to the politicians’ empty rhetoric at election time but nothing huge, nothing drastic, nothing real had actually been done. Too much money was involved, it simply wasn’t economical. Nothing had been done and now the reckoning was upon them all.

244: PARTY TIME

A
fter the blast CD had tried to say ‘is it over, Zimm?’ but it is rather difficult to speak when you seem to have eaten about half of the Great Sandy Desert.

Spitting and spluttering dust out of his mouth he rose up to find Zimmerman, sitting on the prostrate form of Walter Culboon, rolling a ciggie.

‘We have to wait for Walter Culboon to come around man, I reckon I hit her a little hard,’ was Zimmerman’s reply. As they waited they saw a car heading out from what had been the launch site. Zimm presumed it was another hallucination and ignored it. For CD, as always, hope sprang eternal, and just this once it was justified in doing so, because it was Rachel.

It is a tribute to CD that the ecstatic relief he found in Rachel’s survival, and the discovery that she had remained loyal to the team all along, was only slightly tempered over the next hour or two by the dawning realization that Rachel’s experiences had not been sufficiently cathartic to shock her into wanting to sleep with him.

The four of them headed off together, away from the smouldering remnants of Stark, until they found Chrissy and Mrs Culboon. There they said goodbye to Walter Culboon and the remnants of EcoAction (in CD’s case, smouldering), headed on back to Bullens Creek. Back to the home that Mr and Mrs Culboon had bought so recently when they had thought their luck was in. Now Mr Culboon was gone and Durf s thugs had smashed most of it up. Anyway the earth was dying. The cat was OK though.

‘So what do we do now?’ said Chrissy.

‘Well, I reckon we should sell the hire car and buy some beer,’ said Mrs Culboon. ‘I could certainly do with getting a bit pissed,’ said Rachel. ‘Yeah, but it’s not really the time for a party is it?’ said CD, thinking of the friends they’d lost and the failure of what they’d tried to do. ‘Sure it’s the right time,’ said Zimmerman, ‘it’s time to party like there’s no tomorrow.’

245: HELL

A
nd the pioneers of Stark? Their lives were hell.

It was too much for poor Sly. After only one year, on yet another lonely lonely night, he opened a pressure door and allowed himself to float away to heaven. He was glad that Rachel had not come with him. He would not have wished the world that Stark had created on anyone, let alone someone he loved.

He was not the first to crack, and he would not be the last. The frozen embryos were destined never to be brought to life. The problem was not the conditions, it was not the work they had to do, nor even the food — the problem was the company.

The pioneers of Stark hated each other. They had created Hell in Heaven. They had escaped pollution on earth, only to discover that they had carried with them another pollution, a pollution that they could not escape. The pollution in their own souls.

THE END

Table of Contents

1: BREAKFAST IN CARLO

2: COCKIES

3: POMMIE POSEUR

4: BREAKFAST THOUGHTS

5: DINNER IN LOS ANGELES

6: EMPIRE-BUILDING

7: EASY AS PIE

8: GOLDEN BOY

9: CITY OF ANGELS

10: THE CLUB

11: FOR THOSE IN PERIL FROM THE SEA

12: BRASS IN MUCK

13: THE PASTEL FAMILY ON HOLIDAY

14: COURT, HIPPIES AND LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

15: KAREN THE HIPPY

16: COURT

17: FALLING IN LOVE WITH RACHEL

18: MORE DINNER IN LOS ANGELES

19: ATTILA THE HAMBURGER SALESMAN

20: COMING TO THE POINT

21: LOVE AND CONFUSION

22: A PLAN(ISH)

23: DAVE AND BILL: AN INVOLUNTARY KILLING

24: DULL

25: THE SUBLIME AND THE RIDICULOUS

26: MODERN BIRTH

27: DEATH OF A STRANGER

28: THE PURSUIT OF LOVE. THE DINNER GOES ON

29: DREAM DATE

30: TURNING GREEN IN LA

31: A QUESTION OF PRINCIPLE

32: CRUSHED IGUANA

33: IDENTIFYING THE ENEMY

34: CASE FOR THE DEFENCE

35: CONNECTIONS

36: LOVE AMONG THE RADICALS

37: RADICALLY INEFFECTUAL

38: THE RETURN OF THE DREADFUL KAREN

39: DIE BACK DIPLOMACY

40: THE FHAGWASH

41: DENIAL

42: STARK CONSPIRATOR

43: MAN WITH A MISSION

44: THE PROBLEM WITH ABORIGINALS

45: THE COLLAPSE OF A DREAM

46: HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL

47: ON THE BUSINESS OF STARK

48: POOR BASTARDS

49: PARADISE LOST

50: THE DESERT OAK

51: PROTEST AND SURVIVE

52: AUSSIE ADS

53: THE ONE WORLD FESTIVAL

54: THE USS ENORMOUS

55: ZIMMERMAN AND WALTER

56: ZIMMERMAN

57: WALTER

58: WALTER AND ZIMMERMAN

59: BULLENS CREEK

60: STARK REQUIREMENTS

61: DULLSVILLE WA

62: THE NERVE CENTRE OF ECOACTION

63: SPYING OUT THE LAND

64: DINNER AND BULLSHIT

65: A TRICKY PROBLEM

66: MAKING AN OFFER

67: JUDGING A BOOK BY ITS COVER

68: A CALL FROM OCKER TYRON

69: NAGASYU, THE JOKE AND THE WHALES

70: HULLO YOUNG LOVERS

71: MASTERMINDS

72: TIME IS SHORT

73: THE FIRST ENEMY OF STARK

74: SUPPING WITH THE DEVIL

75: ARISTOS

76: ARISTOS GETS A JOB

77: ARISTOS’ MISSION

78: IN SEARCH OF THE NORSEMAN

79: BLOOD RELATIONS

80: PROPOSITION

81: TYRON’S METHODS

82: SCREAMS IN THE NIGHT

83: A STEP TOWARDS EXTINCTION

84: UNLOADING THE EMPIRE

85: CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT

86: FACEFULL’S

87: THE ECOACTION TEAM

88: DINNER NEAR SINGAPORE

89: GOD’S SPIT AND THE DOMESDAY GROUP

90: PROFESSOR DURF AND THE AVALANCHE EFFECT

91: CRASH, BANG, WALLOP

92: DEATH WARRANT

93: A MAN WITH A FUTURE

94: THE POST

95: STUFF TO DO

96: JUNK

97: LETTER FROM LONDON

98: THE HONEST, DEDICATED JOURNO IS A RARE AND END…

99: PRIVATE INVESTIGATIONS

100: DISCOVERING MURDER

101: FOR THE LOVE OF A GOOD WOMAN

102: CONNECTIONS

103: A VISIT TO THE MASTER RACE

104: CRASH

105: WELCOME TO THE PLEASURE DOME

106: DICKHEADS ARE NEWS

107: DISCO DOWN

108: HOUSE OF CARDS

109: GOBBLEDEGOOK

110: STRATEGIC DECISIONS

111: PLANNING MEETING

112: FLIRTING WITH DEATH

113: THE SALT OF THE EARTH

114: ENCOUNTER AND DISCOVERY IN THE DESERT

115: CONFRONTATION

116: MISSILE FUEL

117: BOOM TOWN

118: HOSPITALITY

119: THE HEAT IS ON

120: HOT HOUSE HUMANS

121: THE DARK

122: CONSPIRACY THEORIES

123: A LACK OF INTELLIGENCE

124: KEEPING A SECRET

125: THE GATHERING STORM

126: DOUBLE EURO-NUKE TERROR; FRENCH REACTOR BLOWS…

127: WARMING GLOW

128: CLOAK AND DAGGER DETENTE

129: ON THE RUN

130: WAITING AND WONDERING

131: A BIT OF LUCK

132: THEORIZING

133: BACK IN BULLENS

134: SURVIVAL OF THE STRAIGHTEST

135: NO CHOICE

136: HUNTED

137: SALT RUNNING

138: CLEAN GLOVES AND WARM TONGS

139: TURNING TO CRIME

140: BADGE OF RANK

141: THE HIT

142: LUCK RUNNING OUT

143: AIRPORT RESCUE

144: RECEPTION COMMITTEE

145: FORSAKEN

146: TERMINAL TERMINA?

147: A KNIGHT IN SHINY TROUSERS

148: MEANWHILE EVERYBODY WAS GETTING CANCER

149: ZIMM PICKS UP A GIRL

150: WORLD OPPOSITION TO STARK UNITES

151: PRISONER OF STARK

152: THE PROBLEMS AND THE ETHICS OF PREPARING FOR …

153: TRAPPED IN THE LION’S PORTACABIN

154: SUCCESS BY A NOSE

155: DAVID AND GOLIATH

156: DAVID

157: GOLIATH

158: COUNCIL OF WAR

159: TAKING COVER

160: THE BRIGHT LIGHTS OF A DARK INTENT

161: THE GREAT SANDY DESERT

162: BATTLE AND CAPTURE

163: IMPRISONMENT AND INTERROGATION

164: THE CENTRE OF CREATION

165: MINOR IRRITATIONS

166: FANCYING THE ENEMY

167: QUESTION AND ANSWER

168: ORIGINAL SIN

169: LOVE FINDS A WAY

170: THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES

171: SHARK BAY

172: THE SWORD

173: THE ATARIA C42

174: THE FIRST OF MANY

175: RACHEL AND SLY

176: CRUSH

177: SMALL TALK

178: COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN

179: POWERS OF PERSUASION

180: IRON HAND AND VELVET GLOVE

181: TO BE OFFERED THE WORLD

182: VANISHING POINT

183: WASTED TIME

184: GUILT AND REDEMPTION

185: WELCOME TO STARK

186: NOAH’S WORKSHOP

187: A HELL OF A DATE

188: TIME RUNS OUT

189: HANGING ON THE END OF A CHAIN

190: POWERS OF PERSUASION

191: ADMINISTRATIVE METHODS

192: WARTIME MEMORIES

193: SHOCK TREATMENT

194: CONTEMPLATING TREACHERY

195: HORROR MOVIES

196: LORDS OF CREATION

197: A DIFFICULT OFFER TO REFUSE

198: THE TABLES TURN

199: GETTING TIED UP IN KNOTS

200: FURTHER INTERROGATION

201: DECISION TIME

202: WHO DO YOU LOVE?

203: BETRAYAL

204: FURTHER DIVISIONS

205: LEARNER DRIVER

206: BIRDS EYE VIEW OF GENESIS

207: A FINE STATE

208: TOUCH-DOWN

209: COUNCIL OF WAR

210: THE GREEN EYED MONSTER

211: WHAT NEXT?

212: THE RATS GATHER AROUND THE LIFE BOAT

213: ADAMS AND EVES

214: EVE WITH A STAPLE IN HER STOMACH

215: FROZEN FOOD ON A HOT NIGHT

216: BREAD AND LASAGNE

217: MOULDY OLD DOUGH

218: TOO GUILTY TO PARTY

219: THE MOON SHINES BRIGHTER

220: SPREADING THE WORD, PAYING THE PRICE

221: COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN

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