Stark Surrender (35 page)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

That precious warmth lasted until she had a chance to speak with him alone.

“We’ll head back to Frontiera in two days,” he told her that evening, holding her in one arm while he sipped brandy on the divan in his room. “The Orion docks Monday, and we’ll take her back home.”

“Well, I suppose we have to get there somehow,” she said. “A luxury liner sounds as good as any way.”

He pressed a kiss to her temple. “You’ll enjoy the trip. Orion has an arboretum with a pool and rare birds, a complete salon and spa, a boutique, gym, restaurants and bar. And the captain is a personal friend of mine. We’ll dine at his table.”

Kiri took another sip of her non-alcoholic juice, and set her glass on the hovertray. “And when we arrive? Logan … what exactly are your plans?” She knew what hers were, but not his.

He set his own drink aside and turned to her, his gaze warm. “Why, to be together. You’ll move in with me, and we can begin planning a house. I own several properties you can choose from, all near F City. We’ll be close to our families and our businesses.”

“Hmm.”

He gave her a quizzical look. “Hmm what, kitten?”

She sighed. “Logan … I’m in love with you. You know this. I want to be with you, but … I’d like to be asked.”

Logan’s gaze shuttered. “Kiri, I know you love me. I want to be with you, I want to take care of you, and be with you for good. But marriage—

“What?” she asked, her face flaming with embarrassment. “I wasn’t talking about you asking me to marry you. I’m talking about how we’ll be together, where we’ll live—things like that.” She slid from his bed, and reached for her robe. “I would like to be asked,” she repeated stiffly. “Not told. Maybe I want you to move in with me.”

He gave her a quizzical look. “Isn’t your condo a little small? I thought … or let me start over. What would you think about letting Kai live there, while you consider the idea of you and I building a home together?”

He gave her satisfied look, as if he’d covered all her requirements that time.

Kiri couldn’t help it, she snickered. “Thank you Logan, I shall consider your ideas and get back to you.”

He reached out and caught her hand, drawing her back to his side. “And as far as marrying me,” he said, his gaze going dark, “I … I would think you’d want to keep your options open, in case you decide I’m not exactly father of the millennium material.”

“Oh, Logan,” she said, “Stop castigating yourself for surviving. If I could go back and bring back my parents, give Kai back his life the way it should have happened, I would do every single thing you’ve done. I’d do more—I’d sell my body on a street corner if that’s what it took.”

He opened his mouth and she pressed her fingers over it, shaking her head, and smiling at him through her tears. “Oh, Logan, don’t you realize? You are a parent—you’ve been a father since you were a teenage boy. First a younger teen—Joran, then a little boy—Creed. And look what they’ve become, look where they are. They’re happy, fulfilled, living wonderful lives. And you gave them that. Now you treat them as equals, as brothers, but before that, you were their parent.”

She bent her head to lean her forehead on his chest. “You’re the father every child wants. Fierce, protective, loving and wealthy enough to buy them every toy they dream of.”

She gave him a pat on his chest, and then rose again. “Well, I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed. I love you, Logan.”

She leaned down, pressed a kiss on his lips, and turned away. She made it half a step before he spoke.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Hope winging through her heart, she stopped. “Do you want me to stay?”

When he spoke again, it was in her ear, his hands on her arms pulling her back against his hard warmth. “Of course I want you to stay. But, can we just … relax for tonight?”

She turned into his embrace, and reached up to cup his face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you plan out your moves for the next twenty years. I just—I want to be asked, not told.”

He gave her crooked smile. “Don’t back down now, Tyger. You’ve given me a great deal to think about.”

He cupped her face in his big hand. “I need you, Kiri. I don’t want to live without you.”

“Logan ... I won’t—” her voice broke and she swallowed, and then tried again, gaze on her fingers, tracing circles on his chest. “I won’t go back to being your mistress. I know you gave me expensive gifts, and luxury, but ... I never felt—that is, I never knew when it was going to end. I know you’ve had a string of beautiful women in your life and your bed. I can’t be another one of them.”

Logan sighed deeply, and his hand tightened on the back of her neck. Kiri peered at him warily. Would this be the thing that drove them apart for good?

“I suppose I’ll have to marry you then,” he said.

She shoved at his arm. “That’s not what I meant! I want to be your partner, not a mistress.”

Instead of letting her go, he picked her up and carried her to the bed. She found herself on her back, with Logan over her, chuckling. “Oh, kitten. I’m sorry, I’m can’t seem to get this right, can I?

Kiri eyed him. “Does that mean you want to get it right?”

He bent his head, his forehead against her. “Yes, it does. I want to be your partner, your mate, the father of your child … whatever words work for you. I just want a life with you.”

“That works,” she mumbled, her eyes filling with tears. “Oh, Logan … that works perfectly.”

He kissed her, his mouth hot and tender. “Such simple words to please you. Ah, Kiri mine, I have the feeling I’ve a lot to learn about mating with a beautiful Tyger-kitten.”

She laughed. “And just when you get me figured out, you’ll have your daughter to deal with.

He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him. “Joran was right. I’m going to have my hands full with you—both of you.”

She wriggled into a comfortable position. “Everyone knows how Logan Stark loves a challenge.”

He sighed, but he was smiling.

* * *

The next day, Logan took Kiri out to lunch. She looked her best in a deep gold ensemble with a very short skirt and high coffee-hued leather boots. Logan wore a charcoal business suit.

En route to his favorite New Seattle restaurant in the LodeStar hovie, he said casually, “Oh, we have a stop to make before Jasmine. And here it is now.”

Kiri looked outside at the wet, crowded street, and back at him, clearly puzzled.

He stepped out, nodded his thanks to Rak for setting aloft the rain bubble, and held out his hand to her.

She alighted at his side, and peered up at the portico of the old church, which had signs of recent construction still lying around. “Why are we here, Logan?”

He signaled to the man waiting under the portico, and a protective sheet that hung over the peak of the portico slid back, revealing the new holosign. The cross had been refurbished It gleamed bright and golden against the dark, wet stone of the building. As did the letters underneath.

“The Kiri and Kai te Nawa Youth Center?” Kiri read aloud, her voice full of wonder. “Logan … what have you done?”

He smiled down at her. “This is an old Christian church. The congregation moved out of the city center. LodeStar bought the building, and it’s being remodeled into a place where kids of all ages can come and get off the streets. Would you like to see it?”

She nodded, her eyes full of tears. He helped her up the stairs and through the doors, which opened before them to reveal a warmly lit foyer with a desk and a large holosign. Two people stood smiling beside it.

“Welcome, Ms. te Nawa, Mr. Stark,” said a short, stocky woman with dark hair, beaming at them.

“Kiri, this is Pela te Nawa,” Logan said. “Pela and I have spoken at length, and we believe she is a distant cousin of yours. She’s the new director of the center.”

Kiri looked a little dazed as she greeted the woman. “Please, let’s speak again soon,” she said.

“I will be delighted,” Pela assured her. “I am so happy to be involved in opening this wonderful place in you and your brother’s names. Mr. Stark shared your stories with me, and how I wish we had discovered each other sooner.”

“And this,” Logan said, turning to the elderly man standing at attention in a neat uniform with epaulettes and a shiny badge, “is Joe. He’s our security guard.”

The old man bowed to Kiri and grinned, his face seaming in wrinkles. “I’m an old soldier, miss. Ain’t suited for nothin’ else.”

Kiri smiled at him. “I’m sure you’re the best man for the job, Joe.”

“And now, I’m going to give you the one-credit tour,” Logan said to Kiri. “Which means we only get to peek into the rest of the building, because it’s a huge mess. But here are the plans. Next time we visit, it will be finished.”

He showed Kiri the holovid of the plans. “Dormitory-style rooms, galleys where the kids help cook and serve and clean up their meals, gymnasiums and multi-purpose rooms. Class rooms and game rooms as well.”

She turned to him, her face glowing. “Oh, Logan. I … I don’t know what to say.”

He took her hand and drew her through a doorway into a huge, empty room echoing with space. “This will be the gym—one of them. It will be full of kids, and coaches, mentors. But for now, it’s only us.”

He took both her hands in his, and lifted them to his heart. “Kiri, I stopped for shelter here one night when I was alone and lost. I passed by here, and Joe and a friend were sheltering under the portico. He said something to me that I haven’t forgotten. He said that this place is for those who are lost. It was a church then, but I thought—well, why can’t it go on being a place for kids with nowhere to go?”

“It’s perfect,” she agreed. “But why does it have my and Kai’s names on the front?”

“Because,” he told her, “You are my lodestar, Kiri. When I’m with you, I want to be a better man. Before I met you, I was lost in a search for wealth and material security. I thought if I could amass enough things, I’d have everything I could ever want. But then you walked away, and I realized I had everything I’d worked for, and nothing I truly wanted.”

“Oh,” she breathed, her gaze fastened on his. “Oh, Logan.”

“So, Kiri te Nawa,” he said, his voice full of all the certainty he felt, “This place is my gift to you—to the children that you and Kai, and Creed and Joran were. And this is me, asking you to spend the rest of your life with me, as my wife. So you, and I, and our children, none of us will never be lost again.”

She tugged at her hands, and he loosed them so she could fling her slender arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, feeling her trembling against him, her face against his throat.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes,” she said. “Yes, yes, yes. I love you so much.”

“I love you too. But, Kiri, why are you shaking?”

“Because I’m scared,” she mumbled against his skin.

He scowled. “Of marrying me? I thought this is what you wanted.” Would he ever understand her?

She nodded again. “It’s what I want more than anything, but now that you’ve asked me—oh, God, Logan. I’m terrified.”

“Are you sure you want to do it then?” he asked wryly.

She tipped her head back and looked up at him, her eyes full of love and terror.

“Yes. Because … well, because I survived driving that spider off the side of that building and straight into one of my worst nightmares—fear of falling, of losing everything—and that showed me I can do things that scare me, because ... because I get to choose. And sorry if I’m not making sense here. But when you and I are together, I’m trusting you with my heart, but I’ll still get to choose, every day, to stay with you.”

His heart sank, a cold, nameless dread bearing it down. “I suppose I’ll just have to see that you choose to stay then.”

She frowned, and then shook her head vehemently. “Logan, no! I don’t mean that you’ll have to work to keep me there. That’s not what I meant at all. I don’t want gifts and jewelry, so don’t—don’t mistake me for your mother. I’m not her, any more than you are your father. I choose to spend my life with you, to share my heart and my body with you, in spite of the risk of losing you one day.”

He searched her gaze, and found it as always, open and full of her true feelings.

“I love you,” she repeated. “I will always love you, Logan. I think I knew that from the first moment I saw you standing there in my little kiosk at the space port, telling me to shut it down for the night, because I was coming with you. You were so—so magnificent, so full of life and so hot—” here she pressed a swift kiss to his lips, which had relaxed,”—and I wanted you desperately. And despite everything that happened after that, I never stopped. And I realized I never will.

“When I said I get to choose, I mean I’ll stay with you because without you my life would be so much emptier, so much colder. I could make it on my own, safe from the risk of losing you, but I wouldn’t have you. I want to be with you like I want to—to breathe. To stand in the warm sun. To—”

He wanted to laugh, he wanted to shout with relief, he wanted to whoop with triumph. He settled for smiling down into her face. “I think I get it, kitten.”