Starkissed (11 page)

Chapter Sixteen

After all that’s happened in the last two weeks, you might think I’d be getting used to surprises like this. But I’m really, really not. Grant West wants to date me? It’s impossible. Guys like Grant West just don’t date girls like Sydney Kane. I can barely get a guy in my own town to realize I’m alive. Well that’s not true, he knows I’m alive. He just doesn’t look at me the way I want him to. Like, well like the way Grant is looking at me right now. His eyes all gentle and questioning, his lips slightly parted.

But why is he looking at me like that? Seriously. Is that the look of someone who actually wants me?

I look closer at his face, the way his nose is kind of squished flat, the fullness of his pink lips, the flecks in his brown eyes which are more like gold than orange in this light. I’d be crazy not to melt a little at thought of being with him. As much as I think I hate him, I can’t stop my memory from racing back to that first kiss. The sensation of his lips on mine, soft but hard at the same time. The way my body tingled all over when his hands cupped my cheeks, then slid down the sides of my body.

Stop it Sydney.

I blink. I look down and rub my fingers up and down my thighs, over the washed out blue denim of my jeans. I ball my hands into fists and knead my knuckles into the soft flesh beneath the fabric. What am I doing here? What am I thinking? I can’t date Grant. I love someone else. And besides, my parents will never, ever allow it.

“No,” I shake my head. “I’m sorry. No.”

He looks down. “It was worth a shot.”

I lean forward, resting my forearms against the surface of the table. “I’m sorry. I’m sure past the lying and stuff you’re a good guy. But I just want my life back.”

“I understand. But if you change your mind.”

“I don’t think I will.”

I tell him I should be getting home now, and he promises to let himself be seen somewhere far from my house as to bait the photographers away. He disappears out the back and I walk out the front door. I’m surprised to see Caroline right where I left her, hunched over in the driver’s seat of her car, staring at me.

I climb into the passenger seat. “I thought I told you to go home.”

“I tried. But I kept thinking I might see him...where is he?”

“Out the back door.”

“Did you at least get him to sign the DVD?”

I shake my head. “Sorry. No.”

***

Caroline and I spend about a half hour talking. I rehash my and Grant’s conversation, and of course she immediately tells me to call him back and say yes. By the time we finally head to my house, Grant must have worked some of his celebrity magic, because almost all the photographers are gone. I have Caroline drive me up to my front door and we both sprint inside.

“I seriously think you should reconsider,” she tells me. “He’s Grant West and he actually wants to date you. That just doesn’t happen in real life.”

“Well maybe I like real life,” I shrug and send her on her way. She has to get home to babysit her little sister.

I kick off my shoes and walk further into the house. I spot Ava in the living room and ask her where everyone is. She tells me Dad went to work and Mom took America and Angelina to the mall.

“You could have warned us about the snappers outside,” she grunts just as I’m about to leave the room.

“Sorry.”

“After you gave him that cryptic message Dad went out there and was so surprised he almost tripped over the umbrella stand. Luckily I doubt a picture of him is worth anything, or else we’d probably be seeing a photo of him flailing around in his robe and boxers on the cover of
People
.”

“I told you guys to stay inside.”

“Well maybe you should try explaining better next time.”

“Are they pissed? Mom and Dad?”

She snorts. “You’d think right? But Mom spent like an hour primping and then when she and America left, well it was like she was walking across that stupid pageant stage all over again. The woman loves to have her picture taken.”

“And Dad?”

“He got a call about half an hour ago. Evidently the restaurant is packed again. The town is apparently flooded. Everyone is on Grant watch.”

“Right.”

“So is it true? What they’re saying on the news? Did Grant really fly into Albuquerque last night? Is he really in town?”

I nod.

“You’re lucky the restaurant is doing so well, or Dad might seriously murder you.”

***

Just like last week, we’re forced to unplug the main phone line thanks to the reporters who keep calling. No longer paranoid about my presence on the internet, I periodically check gossip sites for updates on my own life. From what I can tell Grant has returned to his hotel in Albuquerque and pretty much all of the paparazzi are waiting there for him. Now that Grant has officially announced to the world that I’m his girlfriend, my Twitter and Facebook practically explode. I consider shutting my accounts down all together, but in the end I just shut the computer off and wallow on my bed.

I almost can’t believe that I rejected Grant. Even a girl who wasn’t in her right mind would say yes to Grant West. Forty-year old married women would say yes. Hell forty-year old married men might consider it.

When Mom gets home she barges into my room and starts pawing through my closet. Two mounds appear on my floor and I have no idea what they mean. When I finally get up the courage to ask, she indicates the smaller mound and tells me these are clothes I am allowed to wear, the larger mound is going to Goodwill.

When I try to complain she simply says. “Honey, we really need to work on your public image. Do you want the country to think you’re a slob?”

When she isn’t looking I save a few of my favorite items from the discard pile and hide them in a drawer. The rest...well to be honest my head is so muddled I don’t have the energy to fight for them.

“We’ll have to go shopping,” Mom says, looking at the tiny pile of approved clothing. “How would you feel about a perm?”

I bury my head in my pillow and wish for a time machine that could take me back two weeks. I could just not go to LIMA, not meet Grant, and my life would be normal again.

Dad doesn’t get home until late. He looks exhausted and there’s a long stain of spaghetti sauce on his shirt. But there’s also a gleam in his eye.

“If business keeps up like this,” he announces, “well there’s no telling what will happen.” Then he calls out for Ava.

“What?” she saunters into the room.

“I need you to work tomorrow,” he tells her.

“Can’t. I’ve got a date. Sorry.” She twirls on her heel and leaves.

He looks at me.

“It’s not exactly easy to seat people at tables when you’ve get ten photographers on your tail,” I tell him.

In the end America agrees to bus tables and Mom offers to help serve. Between them and pretty much his entire staff, they may just be able to cover things.

While he’s still distracted by restaurant business I attempt to sneak away and up to my room.

“Not so fast, young lady,” Dad calls. I stop in my tracks and turn around. “We need to talk.”

He forces me to take a seat, and then be begins speaking and it’s nothing like what I was expecting. There’s no anger, no yelling, no screaming. It’s just a calm, rational conversation. Obviously they know he’s here. Between the photographers and the teenage girls filling the streets of West Plane, well it’s not hard to tell. So I can’t exactly deny knowing it. I admit that I met up with Grant this morning.

“He just came to apologize,” I tell him, a half truth. “Not because we have some sordid affair going on. He even offered to apologize to you guys and explain what happened.”

“That’s good of him. And um...how long does he intend to stick around town? Perhaps through the week?” Dad questions.

“I don’t know. Why?” I narrow my eyes at him.

“No reason.”

But there is a reason. I can see it in his eyes. Is he so blinded by money that every last one of his fatherly principals is taking a backseat to good business? But I know better than to open my mouth and ask.

***

Despite the fact that most of the photographers are gone to the city where Grant is, I still don’t feel comfortable leaving the house. So that night, Caroline brings over a stack of movies – all starring Grant and forces me to sit through each and every one of them.

“If you’re going to date him, you might actually want a working knowledge of his career,” she insists.

“I’m not going to date him. I told him no. Remember.”

“Come on! Why can’t you just call him back?”

“Caroline, it’s not going to happen. I don’t have feelings for him. I have feelings for someone else.”

“But Colin doesn’t want you.”

“I know, but a girl can dream right?”

She gazes longingly at the screen as Grant, aged seventeen at the time, walks through some room shirtless. “Yes a girl can.

Chapter Seventeen

The next afternoon the doorbell rings. I approach the door with mild paranoia, wondering if perhaps another photographer is attempting to barge in like one apparently did while I was with Grant yesterday. But when I hover my eye over the peep hole and look outside, there aren’t any photographers on the porch. It’s Colin.

My body shudders with excited surprise. Why would he be here? I look down at what I’m wearing, a pair of jeans and a shirt, and am thankful I had the presence of mind to change out of my pajamas half an hour ago.

I look in the foyer mirror and run my fingers through my hair, smoothing the arrant flyaway strands. Then with a gust of energy, I reach out and pull the door toward me.

The minute the door opens, Colin looks at me and a wide smile fills his face. My knees almost give out. Thankfully I’m holding onto the door tight enough that I manage to stay upright and not fall over.

“Colin. Hi!” my voice jumps an undesirable octave.

“Hey Sydney,” he drawls.

For a second we both kind of stare at one another. I have no idea what to say, and I’m waiting for him to fill me in on why he’s here. He, on the other hand, kind of shifts nervously from foot to foot.

Finally I break. “So what’s up?”

He looks over at the driveway, then drags his gaze back to me. “Um, I’m here to see Ava.”

“Ava?” I swallow.

“Uh yeah,” he smiles again, but this time it’s a little smaller. “I’m supposed to pick her up; we’re heading out to Colby Winston’s house for a barbeque.”

I can’t see myself in the mirror, but I hope I do a pretty good job of keep my face neutral, because inside I can feel myself falling apart. Colin is the date Ava told us about yesterday?

“Um,” I mumble. “I’ll just go get her.”

I let Colin in the house, and he shuts the door behind him. I cast one more look over my shoulder before rushing up the stairs.

Ava’s in her room, leaning into her vanity mirror, and swiping shadow over her eyelids.

“Um, Colin is here,” I say, my voice catching in my throat. She doesn’t notice.

“Oh good,” she beams. “I’m just about ready.”

I should leave now, I know. Cut my losses, go in my room, crawl under the covers, and sob myself into tomorrow. But I’m not good at doing what’s best for me. So instead I stay, lingering in her doorframe.

“So um, I didn’t know you and Colin still...talked.”

“Oh we don’t.” Ava shakes her head. “I haven’t seen him ages. But when he came by to see you last week...”

“He came by to see me?” I practically jump out of my skin.

“Uh yeah. You left that electronic book thing you’re always carrying around at his garage. He came by to give it to you, but you weren’t home. I put it in your room.”

I’ve been so busy and stressed out that I didn’t even realize it was gone.

“Anyways, when he dropped by we started talking, and it was so good to catch up. You know he’s off to university next year? I always knew he was smart, but engineering? I never thought he had it in him. Anyways Colby is having this big barbeque tonight, you remember Colby from my class? I think we dated for like a week in ninth grade. Well anyways, Colin mentioned it and now we’re going!”

“That’s...great.”

“I know right!”

She stands up, takes a cursory glance at herself in the mirror, and then frowns. She runs her fingers through her hair and shakes her head. “I just need like five more minutes.” She decides. “Can you go tell Colin?”

I really don’t want to. The last thing I need now is to look into his eyes and think about how he’s dating my sister again and couldn’t care less about me. But I go.

When I get down there he’s staring at the myriad of family photos Mom has mounted on the foyer wall. I make a noise, stomping on the bottom stair, and he looks up.

“Ava’s going to be a couple more minutes.”

“Okay. Great.” He nods.

I let myself stare at him for half a second. Why did Ava have to come home from Peru? Or better yet, why did Dad have to send Javier away? If the INS hadn’t found about his expired visa, he and Ava would probably be married by now, and Colin would still be just some old boyfriend from her past.

“So I heard about you and Grant,” Colin says.

“Huh?”

“Um well it’s all over town. He’s here right?”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“That’s...good.”

“I guess.”

“I’m sorry I called him a tool last week.”

I shrug. “It’s not a big deal.”

“So why did you lie?” He steps forward and leans casually against bottom rail of the stairs. I stay where I am, a step higher than him.

“What do you mean?” I know exactly what he means, but I don’t want to talk about this with him of all people. Maybe if Ava knew how I felt...yeah right. Ava does what Ava wants.

“You told everyone you guys weren’t together. Me included.”

“Yeah because we weren’t...I mean we aren’t. He lied.”

Colin shakes his head. “So then why is he here?”

I’m not sure why I don’t just tell him what I’ve been telling everyone else. That Grant came to apologize and that’s it. But I don’t. Instead I find the truth slipping out from between my lips. “Because maybe he likes me. Because he wants to date me.” I shrug. “I guess he sees something special in me that other people don’t.”

“I doubt that.”

I fold my arms tightly against my chest and narrow my eyes. “What? You don’t think a guy like Grant could actually want a girl like me?”

“No not that.” He looks me square in the eye and I feel my right leg wobble a bit. “I doubt he’s seeing something special in you that no one else can. I think everyone can see it Sydney.”

To keep my lips from trembling; I squeeze them together. To keep tears from falling, I blink and look away from him. Why does he do this? How could I ever be okay with him and Ava being together if he keeps handing me these moments, these slices of time that I just can’t let go of. I’m not supposed to love him, I’ve known that all along. But it’s too hard not to.

I feel his gaze pressing against my skin. I look back up at him. Should I say something? Should I tell him the truth. If I don’t do it now, I’ll never have another chance. I part my lips, the words are ready to go.

“Colin I...” Footsteps thumping down the stairs cut me off. I look up, Ava’s coming. She looks gorgeous with her hair, long and golden, hanging in loose waves around her face. Her blue eyes gleam and she’s wearing just enough makeup that she looks like a porcelain doll. She’s wearing jeans and a flowing, translucent white peasant blouse over a pale pink camisole.

She’s beautiful and I hate her for it.

She pushes past me with barely a word and rushes at Colin, tossing herself at him. He looks at her for a second, expression blank, and then his lips slowly curl into wide, goofy grin. He wraps his arms around her small frame and pulls her close for hug.

“Hey Aves,” he says.

She pulls back from the embrace, then without a second’s hesitation, leans in and presses her lips firmly against his. He seems startled by the action; his eyes stay open – flickering. For a second I think he’s looking at me. But then his eyelids slide closed and I watch his arms drift down her back.

I can’t stay here. I can feel shards of my heart falling away and I can’t stand it. I turn and run up the stairs.

When I reach my bedroom, I slam the door closed and rush to my desktop. I grab my cell phone from where it’s resting next to my computer, and before I even realize what’s happening, I quickly scroll though the past call log and hit send on the first number I dialed yesterday morning.

He answers after only one ring.

“Grant?” I say into the phone, ignoring the tears brimming over my eyes. “I changed my mind.”

***

Grant is still in Albuquerque so he immediately suggests we go out that night. I agree, although we still have to deal with my parents. A couple hours later, hidden beneath a cap and some ridiculous sunglasses, Grant smuggles himself into town – the photographers none the wiser – and we talk to my mom and dad. I’m not sure who is more surprised, them, or me, when Grant links his fingers between mine and marches with me into the kitchen. They look up at our arrival, but it takes them a few seconds to really register that Grant West is in front of them. Dad’s eyes bulge and Mom’s lips spread into a flashy smile.

“Mom, Dad,” I say “This is Grant.”

Mom leaps to her feet. “Grant, it is such a pleasure to meet you.”

“You too Mrs. Kane,” he shows her that charming grin he’s so famous for and she practically melts against the counter.

Dad takes a second longer to stand up. His eyes lock into mine, and then gaze over at Grant’s and my tangled fingers. He shakes his head. He ignores Grant and looks back at me.

“What is this about? I thought you said he wasn’t your boyfriend.”

“He wasn’t, I mean he isn’t. But if it’s okay...we would like to go on a date.”

“A date?” Mom’s voice squeaks. “That’s wonderful.”

“Clarissa,” Dad holds up his hand. “Stop.”

“Oh Tom, relax.”

I turn to Grant. “Why don’t you go wait in the living room?” He nods and leaves the kitchen.

“Dad, I know this has been – well a rollercoaster. But please? I like him and he likes me.”

“He’s still too old for you Sydney.”

“This morning you couldn’t care less whether he was 10 or 20. All you cared about was the fact that your restaurant was packed and that Grant was the reason. You wanted him to stay in town! Well now he is. For me.”

“Sydney, I’m not trading a busy business for my daughter’s welfare.”

“He’s a good guy. And it’s just one date.”

“A good guy? Yesterday he was lying to the world about you being together and you hated him for it. What’s changed?”

A picture of Colin and Ava together flashes in my mind, but I promptly push it aside.

“He may have lied, but he’s sorry and I believe him. And he came all the way out here for me. Do you know what that’s like? How good it feels? For once in my life, someone wants
me
– not Ava, not Angelina, not Alyssa, not Arianna, not America.
Me
.”

“Oh Tom,” Mom whispers. “Let your rules go just this once. Please.”

Dad bows his head and knits his hands together. “You can go to Canyon Grill for dinner. But just dinner. He’ll bring you home right after.”

“Why there? So people can see us and you’ll get more business?”

“Of course not. So that I can keep an eye on you. Just because you trust this boy, well it doesn’t mean I do.”