Starving for Love

by Nicole Zoltack

Published by Astraea Press

www.astraeapress.com

This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, and events are fictitious in every regard. Any similarities to actual events and persons, living or dead, are purely coincidental. Any trademarks, service marks, product names, or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and are used only for reference. There is no implied endorsement if any of these terms are used. Except for review purposes, the reproduction of this book in whole or part, electronically or mechanically, constitutes a copyright violation.

To all who love the sea and sail upon the ocean blue. Love and romance wait for you.

Sirena ran a comb through her long, flowing black hair before looking at the golden object in her hand. One didn't find many combs down here under the sea, golden or otherwise. She hadn't rescued it from a shipwreck like she had several of the other human items she had found over the years. This one had been a gift. From Kristian.

Thinking about him made her slender emerald green tail flip back and forth. Impatient, she swam laps around her small room. With a few underwater plants and the walls made of coral, her room was more a prison she longed to escape than a place she enjoyed being in. Sirena wanted nothing more than to soar through the currents all the way up to the surface, but she had to wait for her sister.

Ten long minutes later, Cordula swam in, eating some seaweed.

"Thank Poseidon you're here! And thank you so much for—"

"Don't." Cordula gulped the rest of her meal down. With a grimace, she perched herself in front of Sirena's mirror. She picked a pebble off its sandy frame before leaning in to examine her face. "You know I don't approve."

"I know. That's why I really appreciate it." Sirena glided over and clasped Cordula's hands.

Her sister's eyebrows knitted together. "If Father ever found out—"

"He hasn't yet," Sirena said confidently.

Cordula snorted. Despite her rude behavior, she was still as regal as their other five sisters, all princesses, daughters of a descendant of Poseidon.

The smile on Sirena's face drooped a little. Cordula was the only sister to disapprove of her monthly visits to the surface, although Nami did think them strange.

Sirena had been six the first time the sun kissed her face. She had closed her eyes, enjoying a warmth that never ventured quite all the way down to their underwater domain. That was when she had first met and befriended the young Kristian. Sirena had visited him once a year, until she turned fourteen two years ago. Then she started to make monthly visits to see her human friend. The numerous visits required her sisters' aid covering for her.

"I don't see the allure." Cordula adjusted her purple seashells over her ample chest. "There's so much to explore down here. So many fish to see. So many mermen to meet." Wiggling her eyebrows, she knocked her fishy hip into Sirena's. "What do they have up there that you can't find down here?"

Sirena closed her eyes for a few seconds and willed herself not to blush. Ever since she began to visit Kristian more frequently, she was thinking of him differently, and more often. She was starting to think him as more than a friend — more like a lover…

"I've only ever gone the one time," Cordula continued. "Never had the desire to go back."

Their father, King Tritonion, allowed his daughters to make one visit to the surface on their eighteenth birthday. Cordula was twenty now. Their eldest sister, Cari, had made her journey almost eleven years ago. Cari's tales about the majestic sights had inspired Sirena's first visit.

Sirena shrugged. Her tail flipped with irritation as she forced herself to stay still and not bolt out of her dome-shaped room. "I'll make this up to you, I swear!"

"You better," Cordula grumbled. "Now go. I can tell you're about to burst."

Squealing, Sirena kissed her sister's cheek and zoomed out of her room. The rest of her sisters were doing various tasks about the castle, and she flicked her tail toward them in greeting as she whooshed past. The deep blue of the water became clearer and lighter until she broke through the white waves, her head above the surface.

There Kristian stood, waiting for her on the beach. The setting sun gave him a halo, adding blond highlights to his chestnut hair. She swam past a large rock, into his line of vision, and his face broke out into a wide smile.

"There you are!" he called as he ran into the water, the frothy waves licking his toes then kissing his ankles.

Sirena giggled. The sun dipped even lower in the sky, the water dark enough to conceal her tail from him.

Kristian swam out to greet her. "I almost thought you weren't coming."

She shook her head, causing her wet hair to sprinkle droplets of water everywhere. "I'll always come, you know that."

"But you were late."

Sirena cocked her head to the side. "Do you want me to promise I'll never be late again?" she teased.

"Yes."

"I never make promises." She hovered in place as the waves lifted and lowered her. Although she longed to be closer to him, she kept a slight distance between them. Lately, all she dreamed of was his arms around her, but if he ever held her, he would finally learn she was a mermaid, and she feared he would leave her if he learned her true nature.

"Never make promises?" He crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side. One corner of his lips curled upward slightly as he reached toward her.

"Nope." Sirena swatted his arm away and clung to a nearby boulder peeking above the frothy water.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to be bound to anything," she explained. He was staring at her so intently she wanted to look away but couldn't. His gaze enchanted her.

"You don't want to be bound to me?"

Was it her imagination or was the light in his sapphire eyes dimming a little?

She cleared her throat and choked back the words she wanted to say: Of course I'll be bound to you. I'd do anything for you.

A tightness formed in her chest as she said, "Fine. If it means so much to you, I promise—"

"Don't make a promise if you don't mean it." He held up his hands in protest.

Sirena released her grip on the rock and rubbed the tight feeling away from her chest. Her heart was pounding. She could not tear her gaze away from his. "I
promise
I'll never be late. Satisfied?"

Kristian stared at her for a long moment, his blank face hiding his feelings, although his eyes were full of emotion. Finally, he said, "For now."

Her heart skipped a beat. She circled around the boulder as Kristian inched toward her. It wasn't yet dark enough for them to be so close. "How is your family?"

He raised his eyebrows. "We never talk about my family."

"So I noticed. Do you have any siblings?" This wasn't the first time she had asked about his family. Come to think of it, on every other occasion, he had changed the subject.

"No." Using his muscular arms, he bolstered himself up onto the boulder. He leaned back, his arms supporting him, his face tilted up toward the sky.

"That's a pity." Sirena couldn't imagine growing up alone. She and her sisters might not swim tail to tail all the time, but they would do anything for her, and she for them. "I love my sisters."

Then again, was his reticence that strange, considering she couldn't recall if she had ever told him about her siblings before?

"Do you want to talk about our families, or do you want to know what would make me satisfied for longer than just now?" He shifted forward, his chin resting in his hand, elbow on his leg, watching her.

Sirena held so still she sank a little in the water. She moved her arms to raise herself up more. This teasing banter was what she lived for, only today there seemed to be a deeper meaning. During their childhood, they had played games in the water, tossed balls back and forth. They didn't talk about anything serious. Right around the time they decided to spend more time together, they shared some tidbits concerning their personal life, but Sirena still knew few details about his private life, and truthfully, he knew even less about hers.

Did she want to know what would satisfy him?

Of course — but only if the answer was her.

Unable to speak, she nodded.

His face broke out into a wide smile, and Sirena's heart pounded. He had never looked more handsome.

Kristian slid down the boulder to land beside her in the water. He threw his shoulders back in a confident manner. "Stay for dinner. Meet my family. They would love to meet you and—"

Sirena stared at the waves crashing against his firm chest. She shook her head, still unable to speak.

"Why not?"

The despair in his voice caused the tightness in her chest to grow, and she felt as if all the air had gone out of her lungs. Mermaids could breathe as humans did when not in the water, although they could not live long that way. The ocean was their home, the only place they could be complete. Underwater, the gills on their fins absorbed the oxygen they needed.

The two aspects of her being — the human part and the marine part — warred within her. She could not survive without the water, but more and more, she was no longer certain she could survive without Kristian. He claimed her every thought, and she counted down the days until she could see him again.

Perhaps she was deluding herself. A mermaid and a man could never be together — not in the sense she wanted them to be.

"I can't." She winced at the bitterness in her tone.

"If not for an entire meal, then just come to the beach. I would love to introduce you—"

"I said I can't."

Kristian splashed with a little more force than he needed to in order to stay afloat. "Why not?" he repeated.

Sirena refused to answer. It was better this way — to fight and push him away. She couldn't give him what he wanted.

The tightness squeezed her heart and disagreed.

"Sirena…"

Hearing him say her name broke through the hastily built wall around her heart, and she broke down. A tear ran down her cheek.

He wiped it away, his touch gentle, belying the strength of his biceps and shoulders.

Sirena clasped his hand against her cheek and kept her fin behind her, where he couldn't see it. She tried to speak, but nothing came out.

Kristian caressed her cheek.

She shifted her head into his hand and kissed his palm. Swimming backward, she allowed the waves to ease her lower into the water.

Despite the darkness, she could see the haunted look in his eyes, and she couldn't bear to disappear without another word.

"You know I would stay if I could."

He closed his eyes, nodded, then opened them again. The haunted look was replaced by one of resignation. Shadows darkened his strong jawline.

"Will I see you next month?" he asked.

Sirena's lips curled into a smile. "I promise."

He returned her grin and crept forward to hold onto the boulder.

"Kristian! Come on, your mother's furious. You know she hates it when you're late for the royal supper," a voice called from the beach.

Sirena shifted her gaze from Kristian's happy face to the shore, where a young man about Kristian's age, which was a year or so older than her own sixteen years, waved frantically.

She folded her arms against her seashells. "Royal?"

Kristian shrugged. "It never came up."

"Are you a noble?" she asked. Not that she had any chance with a human, but to learn that her human was nobility made him that much more out of reach.

"You could say that," he murmured.

"Prince Kristian, your mother will send you to the dungeon if you don't get out of the water right now!"

Sirena sucked in her breath in a hushed gasp. Not just a noble but a prince!

"Why do you care so much, Blaise?" Kristian shouted to his friend.

"Because your mother threatened to lock me up beside you in a cell!"

The waves drew her beneath the water, and she was gone.

Kristian flicked his hand at Blaise. Blast him and his interfering ways. He had a feeling Sirena would agree to dinner if he pressed a little more, and then who knew what could happen?

The prince turned to ask her once more only to discover his beautiful sea-maiden had disappeared. Like always. He glanced about in every direction, but her raven-black hair was nowhere to be seen.

Muttering curses under his breath, he used his strong arms to fight against the current and soon reached the beach. His best friend stood before him with the audacity to tap his toes and cross his arms.

Ignoring him, Kristian stomped toward the castle.

Blaise fell into step beside him. "I thought you were going to ask her—"

"I did."

"Then why didn't she…" Seeing Kristian's glare, he fell silent.

With a sigh, the prince ran his fingers through his damp hair. "I essentially begged her! But she refused. Obviously." He gripped his hair so tightly he thought he might rip chunks out.

Blaise said nothing, which was quite uncharacteristic of him. Kristian glanced over and could practically see gears turning in his friend's mind.

"Out with it," he demanded.

"Have you ever realized you only see her in the water?"

"Yes. What of it?" Kristian halted and stared at him, his arms now the ones being crossed.

"I … I talked to some of the sailors, the ones from Ireland. They mentioned to me several stories about—"

Kristian cut him off with a wave of his hand. "I'm not interested in drunken stories…" The first time he'd met Sirena had been in the water. She never left the waves. He'd always assumed she loved to swim too much or that her father was a merchant and she couldn't wander too far from the dock. Or that her father was a pirate and that was why she kept her secrets. He never pried, for fear that he would scare her away.

But she came to visit him every month, without fail, and no merchant — or pirate, for that matter — came with such strict regularity. And she had a sweet accent he'd never heard before, soft and lilting. She almost sang each word instead of speaking it.

In truth, she was like no other woman he had ever met.

Could that be because she was not a woman?

His thoughts had travelled down this road before, and each time, he backtracked. All that he need concern himself with was Sirena. Whether she was human or some kind of sea creature, he did not know.

But he did feel curious about the subject. Kristian sighed and rolled his neck from side to side. The tension in his shoulders did not lessen. "Go on."

"Ah, interested now, are you?" Blaise chuckled. "They spoke of selkies — strange seal-like creatures."

The prince frowned. "Sirena is no seal."

"Listen and stop cutting me off."

"Princes have killed for less than such a disrespecting tone," Kristian said with mock anger.

"Princes have need of those with important information." Blaise nodded knowingly. "As I was saying, selkies are seals in the water, but they can—"

"I've already said she's not a seal—"

"Remove their seal bodies to reveal the most beautiful women you've ever seen," Blaise finished as if he hadn't been interrupted yet again.

Kristian opened his mouth to disagree but couldn't. Sirena was by far the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. "Anything else?" he asked, his throat dry.

"Only that if you find a selkie's seal skin, she can't return to the sea. She would have no choice but to marry you."

Marriage. Kristian's mother could speak of nothing else. Kristian knew he had a duty to the crown to marry, and soon, but he scarcely bothered to think of it as he only ever thought of Sirena. He would be lying if he said he did not admire her beauty, but there was more to her than merely her looks. She was kind and gentle and adventurous and fun. When they were together, he enjoyed life. More than anything, he wanted to spend more time with her. Their visits were far too short. Each time he realized she had slipped away again, he felt as if she had taken a part of him with her.

Once or twice, the thought had crossed his mind that the one he wanted to marry was Sirena. Truth be told, that was why he had invited her to dinner. He had only asked her to come once before, when they had first met. She had refused then, too, but said she might come back again to play some more. An entire year passed before that happened.

He shook his head, trying to ignore his thoughts, wishing he could flick them away as he flicked away a bug. "She's not a selkie."

"How can you be so certain?"

"She's not!" Even as he denied the claim, Kristian found himself wondering if it was true. But Sirena had never given any indication that she was a sea creature, so she didn't want him to know. That was, if she indeed was one.

Maybe she wasn't a selkie, but she could be a mermaid. That made more sense. After all, if selkies became humans when they removed their sealskins, she would have no reason to hide the lower half of her body, because she would have legs. But if she had a fin…

He shoved his hands into his pockets, his good mood at having spent time with Sirena disappearing. If only Blaise hadn't voiced his selkie theory. The last thing Kristian wanted was for his fears of Sirena being otherworldly to be proven as true.

Blaise grew quiet as they resumed their trek back to the castle. Kristian had almost forgotten he was there until his friend murmured, "You love her."

The prince snorted a bitter laugh. "Why do you say that?"

"You do not deny it?"

Kristian sighed. "Love is not enough."

"Love is more than enough. Love is all that matters."

"You've been listening to Father Dominick too much. 'Love is patient, love is kind…'"

"You shouldn't mock the Good Book," Blaise admonished. "Now let's hurry. I don't think your mother was joking this time."

The corners of Kristian's lips twitched. "She would never throw
me
into the dungeon."

Blaise mockingly gasped, and the two laughed. From the way Blaise glanced from the sea to him and back to the sea, it was obvious he wanted to speak more about Sirena, but he did not, for which the prince was grateful. Kristian wanted to think of her, and yet he didn't. He wanted to be with her, not with Blaise. Although he was a prince and tethered to his kingdom, he would follow her anywhere, even to the depth of the ocean, if she but asked him to.