Stay (27 page)

 
Then it hit me just how much I cared about Jackson. I blinked, causing the salty water to spill down my cheeks. Jackson leaned forward and gently wiped them away.

“Don’t cry, Addie,” he whispered, looking like he was fighting back his own emotions.
 

The gentleness in his voice only made it worse. I shook my head and closed my eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks.
 

He gently wiped them away. “It’s okay,” he soothed. “Somehow, it’ll be okay.”

I nodded and suppressed a cough, my body going rigid as I did so. Jackson sat up, resituating my pillow so I could lay down.

“Here,” he said and handed me the box of tissues and the water bottle.

“Sorry,” I said after I blew my nose. “I must look disgusting.”

Jackson slightly smiled and shook his head. “You look sick, not disgusting.”

“I feel sick,” I muttered and grabbed another tissue.
 

“Go back to sleep,” he suggested. He looked at the door and bit his lip as he thought.

“Jackson?” I asked before he could push himself off the bed. He turned to look at me. “Will you stay?”

His smile returned. “If you want me to.”

I nodded as I spoke. “I do.”
 

He reached for the long, skinny pillow and glanced at me. I shook my head. I didn’t want to keep him away from me anymore. We resituated the pillows and lay down together so that my head was resting on his chest. My breath rattled every time I inhaled, and my throat felt like I was breathing in fire, but lying there with Jackson was the most content I had felt in a long, long time.

***

I sat on the edge of the bed and watched the sun set. A ball of golden light glowed behind dark storm clouds. The temperature had dropped as the sun sank lower in the sky. Misty wind blew through the open windows, making me shiver. Jackson perched on the mattress to my side, draping a blanket around me. I pulled it tightly around my body and looked at Jackson, smiling. After a few seconds of consideration, he took my hand in his. I closed my eyes and smiled. Something sparked inside of me. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder.

“Addie?” His voice was gentle.

“Yeah?” I answered, not opening my eyes.

“Do you remember when you said I don’t seem dead inside?”

I opened my eyes and looked up at him. “I do.”

“And I said that I had until recently?”

“I remember.”

“Well,” he began. I could feel his muscles tighten. “It was you. You brought me back to life.” He let out a breath and turned to face me. “It was getting hard finding hope after all these years. I was so close to giving up. And then I met you.”

I let go of the edges of the blanket and twisted toward him, taking his other hand. Warmth ran through my body, making my heart swell and nerves tingle.

“I hated myself for doing nothing,” he confessed. “I should have stopped Zane and let you run away. But I didn’t, and now...” he paused, taking a breath to prepare for what he was about to say. “Now I hate myself for being glad that I didn’t do anything.”

“What do you mean?” I asked softly.

“I never would have met you. Not if you had run away. I would have let myself die inside without you,” he shyly blurted. “You’re so full of fire. You haven’t lost hope. I’ve never met anyone who can hold onto who they are in such a horrible situation. You saved me, Adeline. And now I want to save you.”

The warm tingles made their way down my body. I looked at Jackson. Our eyes locked, and he moved his face just an inch from mine. He closed his eyes. My heart skipped a beat. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to feel his lips gently press against mine. I wanted to feel the pleasurable feeling travel all the way through me. I wanted to feel everything a kiss could bring.

But I was scared. I was scared that the moment our lips touched, I would flinch away. I was scared I was too damaged to love, or be loved. I didn’t want fear to ripple down my spine instead of desire. I slowly let out my breath and allowed my eyes to close. Jackson tightened his embrace and pressed his lips to my forehead. I instantly relaxed and melted into his arms.
 

He ran his hands over my hair and rested his head against mine. I slowly flattened my palms against his back, cautiously feeling his muscles. My heart began to beat faster as I let my hands drop to his waist. I stuck my fingers under the hem of his black t-shirt and soaked in the warmth of his skin. He deeply inhaled and pulled me closer.

I couldn’t help it. I recoiled, pushing him away, heart racing. The blanket fell to the floor. Jackson looked at me, hurt.

“I’m sorry,” I panted, leaning over to pick up the blanket. “It’s not you,” I stammered. “It’s…it’s…” I couldn’t get the rest of the sentence out before I started crying.

“Addie,” Jackson said gently. “It’s okay. It was my fault. I didn’t think about it.” His brown eyes clouded with sadness. “Do you want me to go so you can get some rest?”

I shook my head. “No. I like being with you,” I said. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out, waiting for my heart to stop racing. I sat back on the bed and motioned for Jackson to sit next to me.

“I want to be able to be close to you.”

“Okay,” he said with a half smile. “Take it slow.” Jackson was careful not to touch me as he settled onto the bed. I angled my body toward his, eyeing him up and down. I leaned closer and closer to him until my shoulder brushed against his. My heart sped up. Jackson rubbed his fingers against my palm again. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder. He carefully twisted and put his arm around me, gently resting his hand on my arm.

Jackson moved his face back. “Is this okay?” he whispered.

“Yes,” I whispered back. It was more than okay. His touch was different, gentle, enjoyable. My fear of not being able to love someone started to melt away. I looked into his dark eyes. Being there, tightly wrapped in Jackson’s embrace felt so right, so
normal
. I forgot about our hellish reality. All I thought about, all I wanted, was Jackson. He was the knight I had been looking for. Instead of shining metal he was covered in scars, which if you ask me, is some of the toughest armor one could wear.

I took my hand from his and moved it up, hovering above his waist. My heart skipped a beat when I let it fall. It was nerve wrecking to be this close to a man when every male I had encountered over the last few months hurt me in some way.

Jackson was different, I reminded myself. He was a victim, like me. I closed my eyes, feeling his muscle contract as he nervously held me in an awkward embrace. I wondered if I’d ever feel desire again. Was it possible for sex to be enjoyable?

I opened my eyes and looked into Jackson’s dark eyes, needing to make sure the man I was leaning against was really him and not one of my clients. Jackson gave me another smile, one that made me believe that there really might be hope for us to get out of here alive … and made me believe that yes, I could feel that desire again someday. I could
want
him.

The front door slammed shut, echoing up the stairs and startling me.

“Shit,” Jackson swore, his eyes widening. “Zane’s home.”

CHAPTER THIRTY

“WHAT DO WE do?” I asked and my body went numb with fear.

Jackson looked at the door, at me, and the door again. He jumped out of bed and ran his hands over his hair. He clenched his jaw. “Stay here. H-he probably won’t go downstairs right away.”

“Probably.” I knelt on the bed, twisting the sheets in my hands. I sharply inhaled, but the breath got caught in my chest. I gasped again.

“Adeline, stay calm. It’s gonna be okay. It has to be,” he added. He took a breath, stepped forward, and put his hand on the doorknob. “I’ll come get you when I can. Just, uh, be quiet.”
 

Jackson left the room, closing the door behind him. I held my breath and waited. I heard Jackson walk down the hall, the old floorboards creaking under him.

I scrambled off the bed when I realized that Zane would immediately see me if he opened the door. I tiptoed across the room and stood in the threshold of the bathroom. My hands trembled. I was terrified of what Zane would do to me if he found me in Jackson’s room, but I was even more afraid of what he would do to Jackson. I wrapped my arms around myself and closed my eyes, trying to will myself not to panic.
 

I thought about Jackson, remembering the way his lips felt against mine. I wanted to feel it again. I was scared we would never get the chance. I let out a breath and opened my eyes, having avoided hyperventilating.
 

Voices floated up the stairs. I strained to hear what was being said, but the words were too muffled. Then they stopped talking. I put a hand on the doorframe and leaned out of the bathroom. Someone walked up the stairs, the click of hard-soled shoes echoing throughout the house. I stepped into the shadowy bathroom. Jackson was barefoot. It was Zane who was walking down the hall.

I jumped into the shower, hiding behind the curtain. There was nothing I could use as a weapon. I heard a soft click as the bedroom door opened. I put my hands over my mouth to silence my ragged breath.

“Addie?” Jackson whispered.

“Oh, thank God,” I breathed.

“Where are you?” he quietly asked.

I carefully stepped out of the tub. “I was hiding in the bathroom.”

“Oh,” he said as I emerged into the bedroom. He turned around, looking down the hall. “You have to hurry. Zane is changing. Go, now!”

I dashed to the door. Jackson put his hand on the small of my back and ushered me forward. He went first to make sure Zane was still in his room. With a racing heart, I ran through the hall. My bare feet slapped against the polished wood when I skidded to a stop at the top of the stairs. I internally winced but didn’t look back, knowing that Jackson was right behind me.

We frantically ran down the stairs, through the living room, and into the kitchen. I had to stop and unlock the basement door before I could throw it open and hurry down into the dungeon. When my feet hit the cold cement floor, I felt a small sense of relief.

“I’ve never been glad to be down here,” I panted.

“Me neither,” Jackson agreed. “That was close. Too close.”

I nodded. “Yeah.” We walked over to the closet and I opened the door. Dread pulled down on me. I didn’t want to go back inside.

“You won’t be in there for much longer,” Jackson told me. I wanted to believe him but we both knew there was no way for him to really know that. He stepped close to me, gently slipping his fingers through mine. “I have to pick up the girls now.”
 

I just nodded again, holding his gaze. I tightened my hold on his hand. I hated being alone in the basement, and I hated it even more when I had to go back into the closet. It was tempting to just sit on the cot and see if Zane would notice, but there was no way I’d risk Jackson like that.
 

“I don’t want you to leave,” I whispered.

He stepped closer so that our foreheads touched. “I don’t want to leave either. Not without you.”
 

Jackson’s eyes met mine one last time before he turned around and hurried up the stairs. The locks clicked into place. I stood in the dim light, looking at the spot where Jackson had stood. A shiver ran through me, bringing my headache back. I blinked and walked into the closet not a moment too soon, pulling it shut behind me.

I sat on the floor as Zane came down the stairs.
Oh, shit.
I was wearing Jackson’s clothes. Would Zane even notice? I shook my head. He might not … if he didn’t notice that the door wasn’t actually locked first.

I pushed my foot against the door to keep it from swinging open and held my breath. The key slid into the lock. Please, please, just turn normally. My heart pounded against my chest. I pressed sweaty palms onto my thighs. There was a small click and Zane pushed open the door. I moved my foot back and blinked up at him.

“Son of a bitch. You’re still alive.” He shook his head. “Why do I have such bad luck?”

And then he turned and left.
Oh my God.
He didn’t notice anything. I let out a sigh and stood, just then realizing that I was shaking. I paced around the basement for a while and settled on my cot. I pulled the blankets over me and tried to relax. A smile subconsciously settled on my face when I thought of Jackson. I wanted so badly to be back upstairs with him.

I rolled over. We could be somewhere, anywhere but here. Together.
 

I had just fallen asleep when Lily and Rochelle clomped down the stairs. I sat up, blinking when they turned on the bright lights. Phoebe trailed behind them. Her hair was a tangled mess, and she had dark circles under her eyes.

I looked at Rochelle. She gave me a tight smile and turned around, sitting at the card table to remove her hot pink heels. Lily went to the vanity and started removing the obnoxious amount of makeup she had on. I got up and followed Phoebe, who staggered her way to her bed.

“Phoebe?” I said quietly and sat next to her.

“Hi Addie,” she replied flatly.

“Are you okay?”

She gave me a weak smile. “Very tired.” She coughed and pulled back the quilt. I put my hand on her cheek. “You better now,” she said quietly.

“Almost.” I moved my face close to her ear. “Jackson took care of me.”

Confusion muddled her face for a second. “Oh, yes. He alive.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “He is.”

“You see him?”

 
“He took care of me,” I repeated. “He brought me up into his room and nursed me back to health.”

“You have sex?” she asked a little louder than a whisper. I winced and hoped no one else heard.

“No, of course not.”

“Right,” she sighed. “We talk later, okay? I sleep now.”

“Okay. Night, Phoebe.”

She heavily flopped onto her cot and was asleep in minutes. I stuck my feet under my own blankets and lay down, listening to Rochelle talk to Lily.

“How are you feeling?” Lily asked, eyeing me in the mirror.

“Better,” I said honestly. “I just slept the whole time.”