Stay With Me (25 page)

For the first time, Rebecca noticed that Father
John had brought a small, black case with him. He opened it and withdrew a
small vial, a leather-bound book, and a white cloth.

 “Latin?” Father John asked, and a little sparkle
glimmered in his eye.

“Go for it,” Chris said with a weak smile.

Rebecca followed along as best she could, but when
Father John switched to Latin, she got lost. He laid his hands on Chris’s head
and then put oil on his forehead and his hands—those hands she loved so
well—and prayed over him. They said the Lord’s Prayer—finally, something she
knew—another prayer, and then it was over.

Father John left, and she and Chris were alone
again. She held his hand, inhaling the fragrant scent of oil as she rubbed it
into his skin, and not a word passed between them. Chris seemed calmed by
Father John’s prayers, and she didn’t want to disrupt his peace. The quietude
didn’t last more than five minutes before Chris’s mother burst through the door
followed by his father, Alan, and Jamie.

***

Chris felt like he had been hit by a bus although
they told him it was only an SUV. Watching his mom and Rebecca worrying about
him felt like being hit again from the other direction. After his family had
fussed over him for a couple hours and he had coaxed out some of the details
from their trip, he insisted they get something to eat and take Rebecca with
them. She hadn’t eaten the whole time she’d been there. They all needed food
and rest, and he needed time alone.

So far he’d been successful at holding himself
together. Only pride prevented him from dissolving into a puddle of tears in
front of all of them. Finally alone, he felt like he could cry, but he didn’t.
The tears were frozen by fear, and he entertained all the “what ifs” he’d
pushed to the back of his mind. What if I can’t walk? What if I can’t work?
What if I’m impotent and can’t marry? What if I never have children? What if
Rebecca leaves?  What if I need a caregiver?

He knew, given what the doctor had said, that his
paralysis was likely temporary. He would probably be fine, but he couldn’t
dismiss the possibility, however slim, that he wouldn’t.

Being left alone to wallow probably hadn’t been such
a good idea after all. When Rebecca eventually returned, his mood lifted
immeasurably.

She kissed the cheek that wasn’t covered by a
bandage.

“Where’s the rest of the gang?”

“I made them go home and sleep. They’re exhausted.
I told them now that they’ve seen you’re okay they should go home, rest, and
get cleaned up so they can come back refreshed tomorrow.”

“And they listened?” He couldn’t imagine Rebecca
giving orders and his family obeying.

“I told you they were exhausted. Alan said
something about coming back after he took a shower, but I tried to discourage
him.”

 Chris leaned back into his pillow. His worrying
had worn him out nearly as much as his family had, and he wanted to relax with
Rebecca for a while before falling sleep.

He sat straight again. “Wait—do you even have your
car here?” She said she had walked to the scene of the accident and then
hitched a ride behind the ambulance.

“No, Abby and Joel are going to swing by with it
this evening.”

He nodded. It hurt less now. “Good.”

When he tried unsuccessfully to get into a
comfortable position, Rebecca leaned in and gently pressed her hand to his
back, sliding the pillow up behind his head.

“Thank you,” he said and sighed. “Happy as I was to
see them, it’s kind of a relief now that they’re gone.”

“I know what you mean. I’m so glad they’re back,
though. All through the night I was wishing your mom here for you.” She settled
back in the chair, the legs squealing as she pulled it forward alongside his
bed again and took hold of his hand.

They sat in silence for a while before Chris
thought he could speak without tearing up too much. “Rebecca, I want you to go
home tonight and rest.”

“I can stay, Chris. It’s more important that your
family gets a good night’s rest after all their traveling.”

“No, it’s important you all rest. You, too. I’ll be
fine here tonight.”

Her eyes narrowed and a slight scowl twisted her
lips.

“Really, Rebecca. I want you to go home and sleep
in your own bed. You can come back in the morning.”

“I hate to think of you here all alone.”

“I’ll hardly be alone. There will be people in and
out of here all night long checking on me and everything else. Please. I want
you to take care of yourself.”

Finally she sighed and relented. “Okay.”

Now the hard part. “There’s something else I want to
talk to you about.”

She didn’t respond, but she scooted her chair
forward another inch and squeezed his hand.

“I appreciate all your prayers, and I think we
should pray and hope for the best as far as me getting the feeling back in my
legs.” He paused, and she gave a little nod while he readied himself for her
objections. “But I think we should prepare for the worst.”

“No, Chris. You’re going to walk. I know it. I can
feel it somehow.”

“I hope you’re right, but just in case, you should
think about how it might be… if I don’t get that ability back.”

He didn’t want to make her cry, but the tears fell
from her still-red eyes.

“Chris, it’s too soon to—”

“Please, Rebecca. I’m not giving up hope, and I
don’t want you to either. I just want you to think about the fact that things
may be different. I may not walk. I may not be able to do a lot of the things
I’ve always taken for granted . . . My future, our future, may look a lot
different than either of us imagined.” He used her hand to pull her closer. She
didn’t say anything, but tears rolled down her cheeks, one then the other. “I
know we haven’t talked about marriage, but I’ve thought about it. A lot. And I
thought if maybe you had, too, well, you should be prepared.”

She pulled her hand away and sat back in the chair,
folding her arms against her chest. “Fine. You said what you wanted to say, but
I don’t think we should go borrowing troubles from tomorrow when today has
enough of its own. When and if a doctor says with certainty that you won’t
regain use of your lower body, then we’ll deal with it. Even then I would have
a hard time believing it. People defy doctors’ expectations all the time.”

He closed his eyes. That went about the way he
expected. At least he planted the seed. He looked at her again, and she
unfolded her arms and scooted herself onto the side of his bed. He thought he
felt her body press against his thigh, but it must have been the shift of the
elevated mattress that he felt behind his back. On instinct, he tried to move
over for her, and while his legs didn’t move, again, he felt what he thought
might be some kind of muscle reaction. It was so slight he dismissed it as
wishful thinking. She had placed one of her hands across his lap, and he hadn’t
felt that at all.

Her other hand stroked his face from his temple to
his chin, and he felt that to the core. Her eyes registered affection and
thankfully not pity. After a few seconds she leaned in farther and pressed a
kiss to his lips.

Except for the seductive kiss that spiraled into
their breakup—and even then she’d let him lead—Rebecca had never initiated a
kiss between them. That she chose this moment to do so spoke volumes to Chris.
Her kiss was as loving as he could imagine, a gentle caress, but he couldn’t
miss the undercurrent that said, ‘I want you’ in the most primal, elemental way
possible. For the first time since he opened his eyes to the harsh fluorescent
lights of his hospital room, Chris felt fully alive. More than that, he felt
hopeful. He couldn’t help but respond to the balm her kiss spread through his
soul and into his body, reviving him, setting his heart to race, and…

“Rebecca,” he rasped, breaking off what he would
call nothing short of a life-changing kiss, “call the nurse.”

20

Hunger for the Great
Light

Rebecca paced the hospital hallway from Chris’s
room to the nurses’ station.

An abrasive nurse shot her a look and quipped, “If
you want to walk the hallways, you’ll have more company up on four at labor and
delivery.”

Stopping, Rebecca planted her feet against the wall
several feet from Chris’s room. She had summoned a nurse as soon as Chris had
asked. While they waited for the nurse to arrive, he told her he felt some
movement.

A glimmer of hope sprouted in her heart, unfurling
and blossoming to life. When the nurse arrived, Chris asked if she’d mind
stepping outside. She complied and waited outside the room, watching as the
nurse left without so much as looking her way. In a few minutes she came back
with a young doctor in tow.

Fifteen minutes later, the doctor emerged smiling.
He nodded at her but did not invite her back into the room. Nor did the door
reopen.

Realizing she could use something to drink, Rebecca
decided to visit the cafeteria and get herself an iced tea. She stopped at the
chapel on the way back. The nurse would surely be done by then.

When she returned, she heard a man’s voice in
Chris’s room and hesitated until she identified it as Alan’s. He sounded tired,
but whatever he said was punctuated with laughter—not only his but a woman’s.
She would recognize that laugh anywhere.

If Alan and Abby were in the room, Chris’s need for
privacy must have ended. She pressed her palm onto the door, pushed, and
stepped inside.

Chris’s gaze met hers immediately, and by the
dimpled smile on his face, he was happy. Very happy.

“I was ready to send out a search party for you.
Good news.” His eyes lit with glee. “The doctor expects me to regain all
feeling in the next day or so.”

Tears flowed again, but these were happy tears, and
she squeezed past her sister and moved to the bed to hug Chris and press a kiss
to his cheek. Well aware of the company in the room, she stepped back but held
onto his hand.

“So, how did it happen?” Rebecca squeezed his hand.
“All at once you could move again or is it little by little? Can you move your
legs?”

Alan leaned toward Abby, turned his head, and said
something in a hoarse whisper just below Rebecca’s range of hearing.

Never one to be bothered with decorum, Abby blurted
out, “That must’ve been one helluva a kiss. No man has probably ever been so
happy to get an —”

“I really appreciate you seeing Rebecca home,
Abby.” Chris’s words came out rushed and loud in an obvious attempt to shut
Abby up.
Good luck with that.

It was a nice try, but Rebecca was naïve, not
stupid. The uninjured side of Chris’s face reddened, and he looked like he’d be
grateful if his hospital bed swallowed him up then and there. Alan broke the
tension with a laugh, and Abby, oblivious to her
faux pas,
said, “What?”

Rebecca felt three sets of eyes on her. They must
have seen the irritation on her face because Alan starting making excuses for
himself, saying he needed to get some sleep. Abby said she would go get her
parking validated and then meet Rebecca in the hall.

“Alan, please don’t tell Mom how—”

Alan shook his head. “Don’t worry. I still have
nightmares that involve her having ‘the talk’ with me and saying the words ‘wet
dream.’” He shuddered. “Catch you in the morning.”

Alone again, Rebecca pointed a stern glance at
Chris. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer.
“Please don’t coddle me. I’m not a child. I know how a man’s body works.”

He tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow. She heard
his unspoken question loud and clear.
Then what about that morning on your
couch?

“That had more to do with you being behind me and
that whole thing with Jeremy. You know, I’m not as naive as you think I am.
It’s not like these are the only two times that has happened.”

His eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything right
away. What
could
he say?

“When you sat next to me on the bed, I thought I
felt some movement, but I wasn’t sure. Then when you kissed me, well, I
definitely felt movement, but everywhere at once. I could move my feet, toes
and everything. The way Abby put it, well, that’s only part of it. I thought it
might embarrass you if you were here when I talked to the doctor. To be honest,
it embarrassed me. I told Alan because he’s a guy, and he’s my brother. I
thought he had more sense than to tell Abby.”

Rebecca took a second to get over herself and
realized her initial reaction had been crazy. The man would walk and have full
use of his body again. They should be celebrating, not bickering about
inconsequential stuff.  Maybe all the stress and lack of sleep were catching up
with her.

“Listen to me going on about nothing. This
conversation is ridiculous.” She didn’t have to force her smile; she was
elated. “You’ve gotten the best news in the world.”

Chris smiled, too. “It is. A slight concussion, a
few abrasions, and some temporary paralysis aren’t bad considering that I could
be dead. God’s been good to me.”

“Me, too.” She sat back down on the bed and gave
him a quick kiss. She didn’t want to leave him. Not ever.

“Rebecca, last night, my memory is hazy—did you
sing to me?”

She stiffened her posture but hoped he didn’t
notice. “You know I don’t sing.”

“I do.” His disappointment was palpable, and she
wished she could tell him something different, but some hurts were too deep.
Their roots were long and the tendrils wrapped around every hidey hole where
they could get a footing. Someday she hoped that somehow she could get in there
and snap the root tips. Today wasn’t that day.

“Hey, Abby’s waiting. You’d better go.”

She nodded but didn’t move from the bed.

“They’re going to discharge me tomorrow, so go home
and sleep, and I’ll see you in the morning, okay? At least it’ll be Saturday,
and I won’t feel so bad about you missing work.”

“Do you think
I
feel bad about missing
work?” She rolled her eyes and then kissed him a final time before heading for
the door, where she’d have to endure Abby’s inevitable jabs about the miracle
kiss that spurred Chris’s recovery.

Abby leaned against the wall in the hallway. “There
she is, the lady with the lips that make the lame walk again.”

Ugh. She wished she’d called a cab.

***

It had only been a week since his accident, but
Chris felt as good as ever. The headaches and dizziness caused by the
concussion had worn off midweek. There were no lingering effects from the
paralysis. The only physical reminder of his accident was the road rash that
lined nearly the entire right side of his body: his face, arm, side, and leg.
It wasn’t pretty, but it was healing.

Rebecca hesitated to accept his offer when he
invited her to have dinner with him at his parents’ house, but he assured her
that the doctors had given him the all-clear. He was more than capable of
serving her dinner.

Since their anniversary trip had been interrupted,
Chris’s parents had decided to spend the weekend at the Spa at the Hotel
Hershey. They said they didn’t mind him having Rebecca over at their place for
dinner. It would be nice to hang out in a real house instead of his shabby
apartment.

He heated their whole meal “to go” in the oven and
watched the clock, waiting for Rebecca to arrive. He couldn’t put his finger on
it, but something about the evening had him anxious—in a good way. Of course,
he had taken on everything with a new vigor this week. It probably had
something to do with the greater appreciation he had for his blessings,
especially the pretty brunette one who hadn’t wanted to leave his side in the
hospital.

When they had finished dinner and the sun began to
set, Chris pulled a large, plaid blanket from the cedar chest where his parents
kept all the quilts and comforters.

The sun began to go down, and he thought they could
lie on the west-facing hillside, watch it set, then stay to watch the stars
come out. He knew it was cliché and sounded like a teenage boy’s scheme to get
lucky, but he didn’t care. Watching sunsets and stars held universal appeal for
a reason: it was romantic.

Somewhere between the setting of the sun and the
rising of the stars, they became distracted by less celestial matters.

“Chris … Chris. Stop …  Please.” The breathy sound
of her voice didn’t lend much urgency to her command.

“I’m sorry, Rebecca. It’s just—I’m crazy in love
with you. You’re all I think about. And since my accident, well, I’m more
conscious of how precious everything is. How precious you are to me and how
quickly things can change.”

Smiling, she pressed a finger to his lips. “It’s
okay. Really. You can resume what you were doing in a minute, but there’s
something I have to say to you, and it can’t wait.”

Okay. Now she had his attention.

“I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching. And I’ve
been praying, like you suggested way back when. I prayed for clarity on a lot
of things, and I found it. When you were lying unconscious in the hospital, a
lot of things came into focus for me. That first night, when we were alone…”
She pursed her lips and closed her eyes for a moment.  “I said some things to
you that I know you can’t recall. I was going to tell you when you woke up, but
it didn’t seem right to burden you with all that when you had enough on your
mind already. And now I need to say these things again, because I want you to
remember them.”

His heart seized, but he tried to keep his
expression neutral. He failed if the look of compassion in her eyes was any
indication.

She touched his face. “It’s all good. I promise.”

Rebecca took a deep breath. “You are without a
doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are such a gift from
God. And you’re all I can think about, too.”

There was a pause, and again he dared to hope what
she would say next.

“I love you, Christopher.”

It was like a long-burning fuse had just burned
itself out, and all that was left was the boom. He didn’t hear it, but he sure
enough felt it. His mouth closed over hers in a kiss, long and intimate. He
laid a trail of kisses down from the base of her throat to the top of her chest
while his right hand slid under the hem of her skirt. He knew he needed to back
off soon, but he allowed himself one more minute. One became two, and two
became five.

“What was that light?”

His fuzzy brain barely registered her question.

“Chris?”

He raised himself up on his arms as if doing a
push-up. “I don’t see anything. Probably the headlights from a car up on the
main road.” He lowered himself carefully back down alongside her, kissed her
neck and relished the feel of her hand running the length of his bare chest.
This time the light caught his eye, and he raised himself up again.

“Oh, crap.”

“What?” Rebecca propped herself up on her elbows,
craning her neck to see.

“My dad. With a flashlight.” He rocked back onto
the balls of his feet and smoothed down Rebecca’s skirt. He stood and called to
his dad.

“Dad, can you turn that thing off?”

 The light bobbed up and down as it grew closer.

“Chris, is that you? What are you doing out here?”

“Looking at the stars.”

“What the heck? Why don’t you mount your telescope
on the deck?”

“Dad . . . I’m, uh, I’m not alone. Rebecca’s with
me.”

“Oh.” Then after a beat, a knowing, two-syllable
“O-oh. Sorry to intrude. We didn’t see your car. Your mother thought she saw
something out here, and she wanted me to check it out. I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s all right, Mr. Reynolds. It’s time we went
inside anyhow.” Rebecca stood and mouthed “button your shirt,” to Chris as he
grabbed the blanket and shook it out.

He looked down, gave the blanket a final shake and
folded it. After tucking it under his arm, he buttoned his shirt one-handed as
they crossed the yard toward his dad and the still-glowing beacon.

“I thought they were gone until tomorrow,” Rebecca
whispered.

“So did I.”

“You don’t think he saw anything, do you?”

He stopped then and turned to admire how her gauzy
white skirt almost glowed in what little light was left. “What was there to
see?”

“Well, your hand was edging under my skirt.”

“Barely. I’m sure he didn’t see anything. Besides,
I don’t think he cares.” He started moving toward the house again, and Rebecca
kept pace with him.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sure he assumes we were having sex and we have
been for months.”

This time Rebecca stopped. “You let him think
that?”

He smoothed out her hair and pushed it behind her
ear. “It’s not like he thinks there’s anything wrong with it. It seems like a
lot to get into with him when it’s none of his business anyway.” If it were
her
dad instead of his, it would be a whole different story, but it wasn’t a
conversation he wanted to have with his parents right now.