Sitting in the lobby of Kilyn’s office, my knee bounced as I waited for Claire. When she cleared her throat, I jumped up.
“Claire, it’s good seeing you again.”
She lifted one eyebrow and managed to narrow her other eye. I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone pull that off before. It for sure made her scary looking as hell.
“I wish I could say the same thing, but seeing as you made my best friend take off for a week and not tell a soul where she was going, I think I’ll pass on the friendly gestures.”
Kicking at nothing on the floor, I nodded. “I deserve that. I was wondering if I could talk to you, though. Please.”
Glancing over to Kasey, she said, “Send my calls to voicemail unless it’s Kilyn and don’t tell her the ass . . . I mean . . . don’t tell her Thano is here.”
Ouch. I was starting to second-guess me coming to talk to Claire.
I followed her into a meeting room where she shut the door and motioned for me to have a seat.
I did and waited for her to sit. When she didn’t, I dragged in a deep breath and decided to get right to it.
“Who is Peter?”
Her face turned white as a ghost.
“I’m sorry. What?”
“Peter. Who is Peter?”
Swallowing hard, Claire sank into a chair and covered her mouth. The tears in her eyes caused my heart to start racing.
Shit. Now I really wanted to find this guy and beat the hell out of him.
Opening her mouth to speak, her voice cracked a few times before she was able to talk. “Why are you asking?”
I moved about in my seat for a second. “When Kilyn and I were up in the cabin, we um . . . we made love.”
She pinched her brows together. “Yes, I know. I also know you acted like you had made a mistake after you fucked her and then you called her by someone else’s name.”
My heart physically ached thinking that Kilyn thought I regretted being with her. I had no damn excuse as to why I called her Savannah except for maybe having just said her name earlier.
Cracking my neck, I tried not to let my anger show. If Kilyn had only given me a chance to talk to her, none of this bullshit would be necessary.
Standing, I looked directly at Claire. “First off, I do not regret making love to Kilyn. That’s what we did. Made love. I didn’t fuck her, as you saw fit to say. We made love. It was amazing. She was amazing. She is amazing. I have . . . issues I’ve been trying to work through.”
Claire let out a gruff laugh. “You don’t say. Well, newsflash, Thano. Kilyn has issues too, but she wouldn’t lead you on and then drop you.”
Scrubbing my hands down my face, I let out a frustrated sigh. “That’s something for me to talk to Kilyn about. Not you. Sorry, Claire.”
She glanced over my shoulder and smirked. “Well then, here’s your chance.”
Turning around, my breath caught at the sight of Kilyn standing there.
“Kilyn,” I whispered.
With a soft smile, she looked from me over to Claire. “Sorry I left without telling you where I was going. I needed some time to clear my head.”
Claire stood and made her way over to Kilyn. “It’s totally not okay, but I’m glad you’re back. Where did you go?”
“My parents’ summer place.”
With a knowing nod, Claire kissed Kilyn on the cheek. “Want me to stay?”
When her eyes met mine, I saw something in them. Something that gave me hope I hadn’t fucked things up too badly.
“No. It’s okay.”
Peeking over her shoulder at me, Claire used her two fingers and motioned that she was watching me. I couldn’t help but chuckle. I loved seeing how close the two of them were.
When Claire shut the office door behind her, Kilyn made her way to the very opposite side of the room and sat down at the end of the table. I slowly sat and we were both soon lost in one another’s eyes.
Kilyn finally broke the silence. “Why are you here?”
I knew what I was about to do might push her away from me, but I was ready to take that chance.
“Who is Peter?”
Her face turned white like Claire’s had.
When her breathing picked up I had to force myself not to jump up and take her into my arms.
Glancing down to the table, she swallowed hard and then cleared her throat. “Peter is Claire’s brother. When my parents died, I went to . . . um . . . I went to live with Claire and her family. I had no other family. My father’s parents died years ago and my mother was estranged from her family.”
My heart ached inside my chest. I wanted to comfort her but I knew she needed her space as she retold her story. She played with a spot on the table as she continued to speak.
“Claire and her family were all I had left. My parents named Claire’s parents as my legal guardians if anything was to ever happen to them. I moved in with them almost immediately. I was fourteen and little did I know my nightmare wasn’t only going to be my parents dying.”
M
Y HANDS WERE
shaking as I let the memories race back into my mind. Thano looked pale. I could tell he was forcing himself to stay seated and not rush over to me. That comforted me a small bit.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Everyone treated me like I was a part of the family. Claire and I shared a room for the first year I lived with them. Then her father got a promotion at work and we moved to a bigger house. My parents’ estate was tied up in probate and all of it would go to me at twenty-three. There was a small amount of money that was given directly to Claire’s parents, but they insisted on setting it aside for me.”
I couldn’t help the small smile that spread across my face. “Kim and Scott, that’s their names, they honestly treated me like their own child. It still blows my mind to this day what they did and continue to do for me.”
“They sound like wonderful people.”
Looking at Thano, I nodded my head. “They are.”
I shook my head and blew out a breath. “After Scott got the promotion, I was able to have my own room. It seemed like once we moved, things changed between Peter and me. I’d, of course, always had a crush on him. You know . . . your best friend’s older brother. He was almost two years older than Claire and me and was always watching out for us. Protecting us.”
With a weak smile, I looked back at the small chip in the table and started running my finger over it again. “Peter used to tell me how beautiful I was and that someday when I got older, he’d show me how much he loved me. He was going to be my knight in shining armor. The one who would save me from the bad dreams I still had about my parents’ accident. Little did I know, at the time, he would become my worst nightmare.”
Peeking up, I saw Thano make a fist. He was probably already guessing what happened.
“What did he do to you, Kilyn?”
Years of therapy helped me to get past the betrayal of Peter’s trust. It helped me to understand I wasn’t at fault. There were moments, though, I found myself standing in the shower scrubbing my body to get his smell off me before I realized it really wasn’t there. I was at the point in my life I could talk about it if I had to. But one question from Thano and I was on the verge of breaking down.
My chin trembled before I closed my eyes and counted to twenty. Opening them again, I looked directly at him.
Tackle it head on, Kilyn
.
“When I turned sixteen, Peter took me out to dinner. He said he wanted to show me off to everyone. I was finally old enough for him to show me how much he loved me.” I slowly shook my head. “I was stupid and naïve and believed every word he said to me. I had no idea what he meant when he kept saying that. Scott went out of town for his new job often. He was supposed to be gone for two days. That night, Peter came into my room. I remember sitting up in bed and asking him what he was doing. He locked the door and gave me a smile. My heart leapt in my chest because he handed me single rose.”
I looked out the window and pressed my lips together. “To this day, I can’t stand to look at pink roses.”
Thano continued to watch me, not saying a word.
“I was dressed in nothing but a T-shirt and panties. When I got out of bed to take the rose, Peter looked at me like he had never looked at me before. It was like he was seeing me for the first time. He took my arm and pulled me to him. He kissed me and, at first, I liked it. But then he got rough. He bit my lip so hard it started to bleed.”
Anger moved over Thano’s face.
“When I told him to slow down, he said he was sorry, it was just that he wanted me so badly. It was then it all hit me. He wanted to have sex with me. I told him I wasn’t ready for that but he said I was. I was so scared. He pushed me down onto my bed and quickly unbuttoned his jeans and pulled out a condom. He told me if I yelled out, Claire and his mother would think I was a whore for having him in my room. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to yell out but I had gotten out of bed to take the rose. In my mind, I instantly thought I invited his thoughts by getting out of bed. But I also knew Claire knew me better than that. I’d never let a boy in my room. I got confused as to why I didn’t tell him to leave when he first came in.”
Thano shook his head. “No, Kilyn.”
“I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn’t realize what was happening until he ripped my panties off. I started to push him away, but he put his hand over my mouth and then used his other hand to hold my hips down.”
Thano stood up, causing the chair to fall back and me to jump at the sound. “That motherfucker.”
“He tried like hell to get it inside of me, but I fought him with every ounce of strength I had. I thought if I fought long enough, he’d realize what he was doing. But then he got mad and grabbed me so hard, I began crying and stopped moving. When I stopped moving, he eased up on his grip, but he still held me down.”
Closing my eyes, I shook my head. “It hurt so bad I just laid there. I guess he thought I was either enjoying it or I had given up the fight. When he moved his hand from my mouth, I screamed as loud as I could. I heard someone try to open my door and so did Peter. He quickly covered my mouth but I kept trying to scream. The next thing I knew, the door busted open and Scott rushed in. He saw Peter on me and pulled him off of me. He threw him to the floor and that was about when Claire and her mother walked in.” My voice cracked as I rubbed my hands over my arms to warm myself up from the instant chill in the air.
“Jesus, Kilyn. I’m so sorry, ladybug.”
My eyes snapped up to his. “Claire and her parents had to testify against Peter. It took me a long time to forgive myself for having to have them put their own son and brother in jail.”
Thano walked around the table towards me. “He deserved it.”
Slowly standing, I nodded. “I know that now, but at sixteen it was harder to accept.”
Stopping right in front of me, Thano put his hand on the side of my face. I allowed myself to feel the warmth of his touch as I gently leaned against it for a moment before stepping back from him.
“So, now you know my story. I don’t let it define who I am, yet I did allow the hurt and betrayal to keep me from opening my heart up to another. At least until you. I live life to the fullest, enjoying every moment I’m given. I won’t lie and say I don’t have moments of weakness because I do. I think you saw that when I left your cabin.”