Stepbrother: Impossible Love (5 page)

I made my way down the street towards the kebab shop I knew was next to a pub nearby. Open until 4am, I knew they catered largely to the much-too-drunk crowd of students that were heading home after a night of partying. Or, as was more common this time of year, studying. I wrapped my jacket around me as the cold winter air pierced my skin. This was definitely not winter in New York cold, but it was still a bit too chilly for me.

A couple minutes later I had two kebabs and a large fries (I still sometimes forgot to call them “chips” when I ordered) for us to share. I headed back up to the library with the food; luckily it was way too late for any staff to be left in the building to berate me for eating in the building.

“There you are, I was wondering what was taking you so long.”

“Giant group of like twenty people who also had the same idea as me about food. Sorry,” I answered, unwrapping my chicken kebab from its foil wrapper. My stomach growled; I hadn’t realized just how hungry I was until that moment.

“Well, it smells like it’s going to have been worth it,” Annie said, grabbing a fry and popping it into her mouth before unwrapping her own kebab.

I would have answered, but I already had a giant mouthful of delicious Mediterranean chicken in my mouth.

There was not an instrument on earth that could measure my relief that Annie had bought my explanation about being so long. There’s really no good way to tell your best friend that you hooked up with your brother in the middle of the library, with her being only like 300 feet away.

“So did you get your notes back from your brother?”

“No. I saw him, and he apologized for being rude, so I let him keep them.”

“Really? That guy, apologize? I’d like to see that.”

“Well it’s all I wanted. It made me feel good, so there’s that.”
Oh, how good it made me feel,
I thought, relishing the moment we shared together.

“Cool. Well I think I’ve got this whole recessive/dominant gene thing down.”

“Nice. What are the odds your kids will have blue eyes?”

“Pretty good, in this country. But it depends on who the father is.”

“I’ll take your word for it. I’ve got to try and remember what the main Canterbury Tales stories are, and their themes. I always forget those.”

“There’s the one with the priest, and the old woman, and yeah ok I think I’ll share those notes with you.”

* * *

Two days later we wrote the Introduction to English Literature exam, and Annie wrote her Genetics exam. When we finally left the room at 3pm, the two of us were wiped. I wasn’t sure I’d slept in about a week. I had barely been home; I hadn’t seen Jack at all since that night in the library.

“I’d suggest we go get a beer, but I’m pretty sure all that would happen is we’d both fall asleep at the booth,” I told Annie, who laughed.

“Yeah, I’m going straight to bed. I’ll text you though, when’s your next exam?”

“Two days.”

“Same.  Study tomorrow?”

“Sure. God, I can’t wait for this to be over.”

“I know. I still haven’t even started my Christmas shopping, and it’s only a couple weeks away now.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. Ok, that’s it, I’m crawling under the covers and not coming out until tomorrow afternoon.”

“Morning. I suck at this human resources stuff, I’ll be at the library early to try and get a good mark on the exam.  I need it.”

“Ok. I’ll see you then,” Annie told me and with a wave headed off to catch her bus. I went to the spot where Michael always picked me up and collapsed into the back seat. I’m pretty sure I was completely asleep before we even left the campus.

I woke up a few hours later, still in the car, parked in front of the Alcott estate home.

“Oh my God, Michael, I’m so sorry,” I told the driver, who was sitting on the hood reading a book.

“Don’t worry about it. I thought I’d just let you sleep rather than wake you, and I like the winter air. It’s nice and refreshing.”

“Well thank you, I appreciate it,” I told him, and he tipped his cap before getting back into the car.

Going into the house I found my mother in a frenzy because the doctor wouldn’t agree with her that she had hypertension (“All the symptoms I read on the internet are there, Julianne! He wouldn’t listen! If I die you need to sue him, it’ll be all his fault!”) and worried that she made the wrong choice about the colour scheme for the wedding.

“Everything’s fine mom.  The colors are fine. Your arteries are fine. I’m going to sleep for a while before I have to go back and study some more. I love you.”

“I love you too sweetie. Did your exam go well?”

“It did, thanks.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“Good night, mom.”

“Good night, honey.”

In a daze I made my way up to my room and managed to have a quick shower before collapsing onto my bed.
Well, at least you only have to do this seven more times in your life
I told myself as I crawled under the covers.

As I lay in silence, getting ready to sleep, all I could think about was Jack. About his hands on my body. About having him inside me. About losing my virginity to him, right there in the middle of the library.

Not exactly the most romantic first time, but it was perfect for me.

I had never felt that way before. Not when I was with my old boyfriend, not when I was just, ahem, with my right hand. Jack made me feel things I’d never felt before.

I fell asleep with the image of his body pressed against mine flashing through my brain.

As soon as the week of hell that was my exams was finished, Annie and I decided to go Christmas shopping together at the London markets. After all, the holiday was coming up quickly, and neither one of us had had the time to get started.

We took the train into the city together, planning out our lists of who we needed to buy for, and what we were going to get.

“I don’t even know what to get John Alcott,” I complained to Annie. “I mean, the man’s worth like billions.  He can have anything he wants. And no matter what I buy him, it’s still going to go on his credit card, so it’s like he bought it anyway.”

“I wish I had your problems,” Annie teased. “I’d try and get something unique, something he wouldn’t think to buy himself. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just thoughtful.”

“Thanks Annie, you’re right, of course. But what do you get the guy who has everything?”

“Who knows? We’ll wander around, and maybe you’ll find it.”

After three hours in the markets, Annie and I decided to take a break. We sat down at a little bistro and ordered sandwiches and water while we summarized our purchases and tried to think about what to get next.

“So I got my parents, and one of my brothers done, and my sister. I still want to find a cricket shirt for my other brother.”

“Well there’s got to be a mall around here that sells those, right?”

“Yeah, let’s go there next. How about you?”

“Well I got the designer shoes for my mom, I got you your present that you’re absolutely not allowed to peek a look at, and I got something for the staff at the house.  I still need to find that gift for John Alcott. And I guess I should find something for my brother, too.”

“Yeah, do you know what he likes?”

I shrugged. “His car? Random girls? I don’t think brothels do gift cards.” I tried to make a joke, but after the moment I’d shared with Jack the thought of him with someone else made me feel a bit depressed. Still, I had no idea what to get him.

“Why not like, a nice tie or something?”

I giggled.  “I think he’d strangle me with it if I tried. He’s more of the ‘jeans and a jacket’ type guy.”

“Well fine, maybe a nice bottle of scotch or something?”

“Yeah, good thinking. He won’t get me anything anyway, so I don’t want to get him something good, just something to show that I tried.”

“Then alcohol is the perfect gift!”

With that settled, Annie and I chatted about other things while eating our lunch before going out for the rest of an afternoon of shopping.

Towards the end of the day a light snow began to fall. Annie was super excited, but honestly all the snow did was make me feel homesick. Seeing “Happy Christmas” written everywhere, the little differences between here and New York made me pine for my old life just a little bit.

Not that we ever had big family dinners or anything like that, but Christmas was still supposed to be special.

* * *

I also had no idea how to do a big Christmas thing. Annie had warned me when we were shopping that I should buy some chocolates and things that could be given as gifts to arrivals I didn’t know, and when my mother told me three days out from Christmas that a number of John’s relatives were coming over, I knew I had to text Annie and thank her for the advice.

I was also nervous about seeing Jack again. I hadn’t seen him at all since our time in the library, I kind of suspected he’d been avoiding being home. On the bright side, I also hadn’t heard him banging random women since. I’m not sure how I would have reacted if he had. I knew we weren’t together or anything, but I still wouldn’t have liked to know I was just another notch on his belt.

A part of me wondered about what made him have sex with me that night. After all, I wasn’t his usual type.  I was curvy, pretty but not
gorgeous
, average height, nothing extra-ordinary about me at all. In fact, I was pretty much just that: ordinary. Not in a bad way, I just accepted myself for who I was.

Finally, Christmas morning came along. Also at Annie’s suggestion, I’d made sure to buy myself a nice dress for the occasion: a princess neckline, black, 50s style retro dress. It showed off my curves, and with leggings underneath still allowed for modesty and class at the same time. Apparently now that I was a rich person I had to dress like it when family came by. I decided to save it for the Christmas lunch, and went down wearing jeans and a nice sweater.

Sure enough, early in the morning a whole crew came by: John’s sister who lived in the city and her family, consisting of a husband, three kids and two super energetic small dogs that I pretty quickly realized were more likeable than the rest of the family.

John’s sister Amy was basically exactly what everybody imagines when they think “typical stuck up British person”. In her mid-40s and obviously getting work done regularly,  her dyed blonde hair coiffed perfectly, her classy and yet obviously expensive clothing screaming ‘I’m better than you’ and the way she looked down at Anita and the rest of the staff made me instantly dislike her. She even brought her own nanny along to take care of the kids so she didn’t have to look after them!

“John, brother dear, how are you?” Amy asked as he went over to greet her, kissing her lightly on both cheeks.

“I’ve never been happier Amy, how about you?”

“Well, you know. The kids are growing quickly, and Evan’s having trouble with the clods at council with regards to that new development, but other than that we’re fine.”

Her husband Evan looked, well, a lot like every single other middle aged while male businessman, really. Greying hair at the temples, impeccably dressed in a suit and tie, with an inscrutable expression, Evan Milton stood next to his wife, quietly listening as she went on about their lives.

“Little Elizabeth has had the worst year at school, her teacher really hates her. I keep telling her Elizabeth is quite gifted, but the damned woman won’t listen. I’ve had to call the headmaster three times, and sometimes I feel she doesn’t listen either.”

“Oh that’s unfortunate,” John replied sympathetically, and it was obvious that he was used to his sister’s complaints. “Amy, before we get too caught up with catching up, I’d like to introduce you to my fiancée Mary, and her daughter Julianne.”

“How
lovely
to meet you,” Amy flowered, obviously not meaning a word she said. She came over and kissed first my mother’s cheek, then mine, and I’m pretty sure I could feel her recoil at having to touch me, no matter how lightly. No, this was not someone that I was going to like. I shook hands with her husband, who seemed nice enough, then excused myself to go find somewhere I’d be welcome.

Grabbing my coat and making my way outside, I was soon met by an excited, perfectly groomed miniature poodle who had obviously found a tennis ball somewhere and dropped it at my feet.

“Well, why let this huge garden go to waste?” I asked him as I picked up the ball and threw it as far as I could.

I’d played softball when I was younger, and still had a pretty good arm on me, so when the ball went around 100 feet I wasn’t too surprised. I waited for the dog to bring the ball back, but he didn’t, so I went after him.

I quickly discovered that the whole point of the game was for me to chase him until I managed to grab the ball off him, which turned out to be borderline impossible.

“Come on, little guy, let me have the ball,” I begged as we ran around in circles, his tail wagging the whole time. Finally he took pity on me and dropped the ball, only to pick it up again and run off as soon as I got to within a foot of him.

“Now that’s just cruel,” I scolded, but a minute later the dog got bored of the game and let me throw the ball for him again after all.

Stomping around the yard, eventually the second dog decided to join in on the fun, and the two of them started playing, trying to get the ball from one another, and then letting me throw it for them.

Eventually I had a look at my watch. I knew I’d have to be back at the house by noon, when the Christmas lunch was going to be served, after which time presents would be opened.

What kind of place has Christmas lunch instead of Christmas dinner, then has you open your presents
afterwards
? Crazy, that’s what that is
, I thought to myself as the dogs launched after the ball once more.

At one point I threw the ball past a shed, and to my surprise, Jack came out from the other side, looking curious.

“What are you doing here?” he asked when he saw me.

“Playing with the dogs. They’re nicer than the rest of your aunt’s family.”

“Well it looks like we finally agree on something. They’re going to love you when you come back into the house covered in mud,” he continued, looking me up and down.

I looked down at my clothes and was suddenly extremely glad that I hadn’t changed into my nice Christmas dress yet. Jack was right, I was absolutely covered in it.

“What about you, why are you hiding out here?”

“Same reason. But they don’t expect me back for lunch. But off you go, sis, they’ll be getting started soon,” he continued, and I glared at him as I looked at my watch. He was right, I was going to be late.

“Speaking of the dogs being nicer than humans,” I started, and let out a whistle. The two happy poodles came running towards me, and I threw the ball back towards the house.

* * *

Thirty minutes later I was showered, dressed nicely, and ready to go down to have lunch with the rest of John Alcott’s family.

I couldn’t believe Jack was
still
being mean to me. Seriously? Even after the library? He was such a douchebag. At least I’d gotten it out of my system. Or so I thought. Was it the surprise at seeing him that had made my heart beat a million times faster when he came into view? I had to convince myself it was.

Thoughts of my brother were quickly erased from my mind when I made my way down to the main living area and heard the sounds of a number of different families.

It looked like the Miltons weren’t the only ones that had come over for Christmas.

I knew I was introduced to everyone except the help that had been brought over from other households, but everything started to kind of blend together after a while. I knew the kids were Ben, Thomas, Elizabeth, Charles and Alexandra, but I had no idea which ones belonged to who.

On top of Amy, John’s sister, there was also his younger brother Henry and his wife Sally with their kids. They seemed like a far more normal, down-to-Earth couple, a lot more like John than like Amy.

Everyone was sitting in one of the large family rooms – this one was quite frankly more ballroom-sized than anything else – enjoying chez d’oeuvres being served by Anita and another one of the housekeepers who walked around with platters carrying a variety of different delicacies.

Treating myself to a mini quiche, I made my way over to my mom, who looked me up and down.

“That dress is quite beautiful, Julianne. Very nice choice,” she told me approvingly, nodding at my fashion sense. It must have been Christmas, she didn’t even make a snide comment about the quiche going straight to my hips!

I smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks mom. You look great too,” I replied. I wasn’t lying, either. It seemed like no matter how old I got, my mom stayed the same age. She had a timeless beauty, a classic look about her that whenever I really noticed it made me understand just how she might have had a shot at being a celebrity back in the day.

For a while I mingled with my mom, idly chit-chatting with Sally and Henry about how different life was in England compared to America, how my studies were going, how my exams went, what after-school activities their kids were involved in, that sort of thing.

Eventually a bell rang and we were all herded towards the dining room table. To my surprise, at some point Jack had come in as well. I thought he’d told me he wasn’t expected at dinner. Well, it shouldn’t have surprised me that he would have lied to me. I could never really trust anything that guy said, that was for sure.

It was all so formal, when we got to the table there were little nametags set out for everyone. I found mine to the right of my mother, who was seated at John’s right hand side at the table. His brother Henry was at his left, with Sally next to him, and Evan next to her. Jack was sitting next to Evan, looking even more bored than usual. That, unfortunately, left Amy sitting next to me, and the children were led with their nannies out of the room, presumably to have lunch elsewhere, away from the adults.

The bread bowl was passed around, with some exotically flavoured vinaigrettes and olive oils being passed around for dipping on the bread plates.

The chatter died down for a few moments while everyone began eating their food. I couldn’t help but notice John’s nervous glances towards Jack every couple of minutes, and I wondered to myself if I wasn’t the only person here who hadn’t expected Jack at lunch. Perhaps he hadn’t been lying after all. But if not, what was he doing here, when he could easily skip the family lunch that he obviously didn’t want to attend?

Then as person after person finished their bread, the conversations resumed.