Still Point (20 page)

I held up my wrist. “You told me it was a twin signal,” I said. “Are you honestly surprised?” Before he could answer, I kept going. “Why have you been lying to me? Even Mom?” My entire body was shaking. I had so many reasons to hate my father, but I was still shaking with fear from coming so close to losing him.

“I got a tip that Vaughn was using trash labs to make drugs for the DCs,” my dad said. “We've been investigating. I couldn't tell your mother. I couldn't tell anyone.”

“Why? Why can't you just tell us what you're planning?”

“It's not that easy,” he said. “I'm trying to keep you all innocent from this.”

Justin peeled around the corner, and I grabbed the side handle to avoid smashing into the window.

“Sorry,” Justin said.

“You've been working with Richard, haven't you? You've been letting this happen?”

“No, Maddie. I swear my life on it.” He looked at me and his dark eyes were pleading. Something inside of them let go. A tight grip finally loosened. “I've been fighting digital school since the day it became a national law. I've been on your side this entire time.”

“What?” I shouted over the noise of the engine. Justin was driving 90 mph down the city roads, and we kicked up a shower of dust as the car skidded around a sharp corner. My dad grabbed hold of the seat belt across his chest.

“Can you please slow down, Justin?” he shouted.

“I'd love to. After we lose this guy,” Justin said, and pointed his thumb at the back window. I looked around and saw another van down the block.

For a second, Justin's eyes locked on my dad's in the rearview mirror. They wore identical stubborn expressions. My dad's features softened and his mouth cracked into a smile.

“You never give up, do you?” he asked Justin.

Justin didn't have to respond. The answer was obvious as he peeled around another corner. Jax was quiet and stared straight ahead, probably wishing he'd never met me.

“You're just like your parents,” my father told Justin. “Your dad, especially.”

Justin's mouth tightened and he glared at my dad in the mirror. “Like you would know,” he shot back, but then his shoulders stiffened, like he was piecing something together.

“You remind me a lot of your dad. You're even more determined than he was.”

“You know my dad,” Justin said. It wasn't a question.

My father nodded. “Best man at his wedding.”

Justin's face hardened. His fingers were white around the steering wheel.

“College roommates in Arizona. That's how we met. There was a group of us that hung out. We called ourselves the McMinns. It was the pub we drank at. Your father and I were both set on changing the world, so you could say we had a lot in common.”

I looked from one of them to the other.

“And Mom?” I asked.

“She and Elaine used to be best friends. They used to garden together, hike, camp. Then we had kids and it got tougher.” My dad looked at Justin. “I remember when you fell into a campfire when you were little, Justin. Your dad told me about it. He said you were fireproof.”

My stomach rolled. I felt nauseous, both from Justin's driving and from the truth finally rushing at me, overflowing the banks of my mind. Justin stared at my dad in the rearview mirror.

“You have an interesting way of treating your best friends,” he said, and my dad glared back at him.

“How's that?” my dad asked. “By helping them escape from jail? By personally relocating them to Eden, so they wouldn't be executed? That's what I did, Justin.”

“Why didn't my parents say anything?” he asked.

“I told them not to,” my dad said. “For my protection and theirs.”

“Wait a second. You've been on our side the entire time?” I asked.

My dad nodded. Justin started to slow down when we turned onto a gravel road following the twisting banks of the Willamette River. I looked behind us and the van was gone.

“I changed my mind about a year after I started DS. I could already see where it was going.”

“Then why did you let it happen?” I asked.

“I needed money to fund it, and Richard Vaughn was the only sponsor at the time. So he took control of it. I never intended it to become a national law. I just wanted it to be a choice, from the very beginning, a
safe alternative.
But people were so terrified after M28, it just snowballed. People thought it was some kind of a cure.”

“But you let it happen,” Justin repeated.

My dad frowned. “I knew the only way to fight it would be to stay at the top. That was the only way I could keep any kind of control.”

“How have you been fighting it?” I asked him.

He looked directly at me. “I've had help. Haven't you ever wondered why your mom and I differ so much on the digital system? She's always encouraged you to question it. We meant to encourage you, Maddie. We always have. But
I
never could. I could never say those words to you. I've been just as trapped as you.”

“Wait, you're saying this whole time you've agreed with
Mom?
” The outside world was becoming a blur. The rocky landscape blended into the gray river as too many thoughts crammed my vision.

“I'm saying DS has gone too far. And I've known that for a long time, but I've become powerless to stop it. A couple of years ago it occurred to me that one person might be able to shut it down. That was you. I let you meet Justin last year. I allowed him to find you. I wanted you two to meet. I knew you'd join his side.”

I shook my head as this all filtered in. “So, you've been
using
me?” My voice rose into a shout. “If you hate DS so much, why don't you just end it?”

“I can't, not after it became a law,” he said. “The only way I can bring down DS is to stay in power until it's voted on again. If I had stepped down, or been fired, Richard would have replaced me with someone he could control, and then I would have had no way to intervene. I needed to stay in this seat for the national vote. It's the only chance I have at shutting DS down.”

My mind was spinning. “All those things you said to me. You put me down for years. You told me I was wrong.”

His eyes fell sympathetically. “I'm sorry, Maddie. I had to say those things.”

“Why?”

“All of our wall screens were tapped. Ever since you broke the law, not only are you screened, but so am I. All of my sites have been tapped. All of our phone lines are bugged. Our home has been screened since you were fifteen. They would have known. Even if I told you in secret, I couldn't risk the chance that it would slip out.”

I narrowed my eyes. “So instead you've been lying this whole time?” I rubbed my hands over my face. Too many thoughts were punching my brain. Relief, anger, betrayal, hope. They all mixed and mashed and I couldn't think straight.

“You could have let me in on this. And Mom.”

“I was trying to protect you.”

“Protect us? By hiding everything? We're supposed to worry about you. We're your family. Isn't that what a family is for? To tell one another, to worry for one another, or be happy for one another? To be there for one another?”

“I couldn't take that risk. The only way I could protect you and your mother was to keep both of you ignorant. That way if anyone ever questioned you, you would never have to lie.”

“You willingly let me go into a detention center! I was almost killed.”

“I tried to keep you out,” my dad snapped back. “The first time I helped notify your team that you were arrested. That's why you were intercepted. The second time the police were already involved. I couldn't do anything at that point. I tried to schedule meetings with Richard, and when he refused, I showed up unannounced. And you know how well that worked out.”

I thought about this. I realized maybe he was right. Maybe all this time, instead of pushing me away, he was just pushing me down a different path.

“You were the only person willing to stand up to me, Madeline,” he said. “You're just as stubborn as I am. I realized you might be the only person strong enough to help me bring down DS.”

A van suddenly skidded down the hill after us and nearly T-boned the back of the car. Justin gunned the engine. The van kicked up a cloud of dust and rocks as it braked behind us, and then it was on our tail again. Its engine roared, and the fender caught our bumper and shoved all of us forward.

There was nowhere for Justin to swerve. The road dipped with potholes and the car rocked over them, sending our heads into the roof. I held on to the seat in front of me, and my dad tried to keep himself steady with one arm pressed against the door.

The van tried to maneuver around us, but the road was too narrow. Its grille hit our fender again, and Justin shouted orders into his earpod for someone to give him directions to the nearest boat launch.

The road dipped closer to the river, and I looked down at the water next to us, separated only by a ledge of rocks. When the dirt road widened a few feet, the van took its chance and raced forward, clipping the back edge of our car, sending us spinning off the road. A dirt incline lifted the car off the ground.

In my next two breaths this is what I felt: Sailing over a bed of rocks. Flying into dark blue waves. A giant shove. A wall of water.

We all slammed forward and back against the seat as the car settled into the river. The current caught the front tires and pulled the car downstream.

I blinked with shock for the first second. My hand grabbed for the door handle and pulled, but nothing happened.

“Unlock the doors!” I shouted as water started to seep through the floorboards.

My dad pushed against his door helplessly.

“They're unlocked!” Justin shouted.

I tried again. “They won't open,” I said.

“The water pressure's too strong,” Jax said, his voice scratchy.

“Can we shoot through the windows?” I asked.

“Bulletproof,” Justin said.

The water crawled around my feet in rippling waves that looked like snakes coiling. It bubbled and creaked its way in. Its cold mouth devoured my ankles and greedily clawed up my calves.

I looked at Justin. “Can't this car fly or self-destruct or something?” I pleaded.

“If you don't panic, we can do this,” Jax said.

Don't panic. Funny.
The nose of the car was being pulled down, and the water climbed up to our knees.

“Can you swim?” Jax asked me, and I shook my head. “Can you?” he asked my dad.

My dad seemed to be in shock, staring straight ahead at the water that was starting to come over the windshield. He offered a shaky nod.

“We can't open these doors—there's too much pressure. We have to wait until the car is completely submerged,” Jax said, and Justin nodded.

“Until the pressure on the inside is equal to the pressure on the outside?” I asked.

“Right. Then the doors should open,” Justin said.

“Should,” I whispered.

“They will,” Jax said.

I gasped with pain as the freezing water sloshed over my waist. My feet were already numb. I pushed my hand against the glass window, hoping it would snap free. I was already panicking.

“Is this a guess in physics or a promise?” I asked.

“I promise,” Jax said. He looked over his shoulder at me. “We might be underwater for a minute. Just hold your breath. The worst thing you can do is panic. Keep the air in your lungs as long as you can.”

I gasped for air as the water hit my chest, stunning my body, so cold it felt like a thousand stings. The front windshield was completely underwater. Murky darkness surrounded us, as if a giant water serpent was swallowing us whole. The serpent jostled us, batting us back and forth like a toy.

I was already struggling to breathe. My lips were shaking. I wanted to punch my way out. I pressed my fist into the window.

“Try to stay calm,” Justin said, his own voice wavering. He turned back to make sure my dad was listening. “We're going to be fine. When we get out of the car, there's a current. Don't try to swim against it—you'll just exhaust yourself. Let it take you downstream, and slowly make your way over to the edge. Jax, when you get out, grab Maddie.” Justin turned to me. “Let him pull you. If you struggle, it's going to be a lot more work for both of you.”

The water was almost up to our necks now. The car was completely submerged, and water was seeping through the top of the windshield.

I tried the handle again and nothing happened.

The car started to rotate.

“Deep breaths,” Justin said. “Fill your lungs. Maddie—” Justin had to cut himself off as the water filled the front of the car above his head.

The water was spilling over my chin, teasing the corners of my mouth. I said a silent prayer and tried the door, but it was still unyielding.

I held my neck up for the last few inches of air in the car, gulping desperately. My dad's hand found mine underwater, and he held it tight. My numb fingers could barely respond.

“We can do this,” he whispered. His lips were purple and they trembled when he spoke.

Thoughts spun through my head, but mostly I was thinking about air. How limited it was. How much I took it for granted.

“I'm so sorry for everything, Maddie,” he said. “You know how much I love you, and Mom and Joe? Don't you?”

He held my eyes, waiting for an answer, as if his life depended on it. My body was going into shock from the cold. My breaths were short and forced. All I could offer was a shaky nod.

The water swallowed up the last inch of air, and my dad pushed against the door. I could sense his desperation. I opened my eyes and everything was grayish blue. The light above was floating and fleeing away. Air bubbles poured out of my dad's nose, and I knew he had panicked. He wrestled with the door and let go of my hand to push harder, but nothing was happening. It had probably been five seconds, but it felt like minutes. My lungs started to burn, demanding to exhale, but I knew as soon as I let the air out, the urge to inhale would be even more painful. I wanted to scream. The dark, freezing, claustrophobic space was starting to break me down. I pierced my lips together and held on. My dad's movements were slowing down. I knew we had only seconds.