Stink and the Great Guinea Pig Express (4 page)

When all the cages were stacked and bungee-corded into place, the kids plopped down in the booth, tired and hungry. Stink pulled out a fistful of jawbreakers.

“I can’t believe we fit thirty-three cages in here,” said Stink.

“It’s a traveling guinea pig palace,” said Sophie.

“A piggy parade,” said Webster.

“Squeals on Wheels!” yelled Stink.

The following Saturday, the three friends painted the camper. Sophie painted suns and rainbows and guinea pigs riding unicorns. Webster painted moons and planets and guinea pigs riding rocket ships.

Stink painted eyes — giant blue guinea pig eyes like Astro’s — just above the headlights on the front of the RV. And a pink nose and whiskers and a sticky-out tuft of hair above the nose.

“Awesome!” said Webster.

“Fur-eeky!” said Sophie.

The kids wrote
SQUEALS ON WHEELS
in big letters across the side of the camper. On the back was a bumper sticker that read:
VIRGINIA IS FOR LOVERS
. Stink changed it to read
VIRGINIA IS FOR GUINEA PIG LOVERS
.

   “Done,” said Sophie.

“Wow,” said Webster.

“
Purr
-fect,” said Mrs. Birdwistle.

Jelly Bean, Pumpkin, Piggy Wiggy, Captain Jack, Hopscotch, Izzy, Fuzzy, Wuzzy, Rapunzel, Skunk, Curly Sue, Wrinkles, Ruby, John, Paul, George, Ringo, Midnight, Mimi, Mr. Nibbles, Blackberry, Scamper, Scarlett O’Hairy, Harry, Butterscotch, Shredded Wheat, Snowball, Hash Brown, Violet, Miss Piggy . . . They named all 101 guinea pigs and loaded them into cages, sixteen cages for the boys and seventeen cages for the girls. Each cage had a list of who was inside to help keep them all straight.

Soon 101 guinea pigs sipped at their water bottles, rattled their cage doors, and chased each other, playing hide-and-seek to their little hearts’ content.

Beep, beep! Beep, beep, beep!
Mrs. B. drove like crazy around the parking lot, honking the horn to get people’s attention. Then she parked under a big shade tree right next to a busy coffee shop.

“Say hello to Squeals on Wheels!” called Mrs. Birdwistle.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the Great Guinea Pig Giveaway! Adopt a guinea pig,” Stink called. “Or two. Or three. How about four fur balls?”

“I hope all one hundred and one guinea pigs get adopted soon,” said Webster.

“Except for you, Astro,” said Stink, whispering to his favorite guinea pig.

Kids and parents crowded into the camper. “Who wants to pet a guinea pig?” asked Stink.

“Me! Me! Me!” yelled all the kids.

“Okay, Guinea Pigs 101: Never grab a guinea pig by the fur on its neck,” said Stink, “or you’ll scare it. Hold a piggy from underneath, like this.”

“Brush your guinea pig every day,” said Sophie.

   “And feed them fresh fruits and veggies,” said Webster, “you know, like parsley and cherry tomatoes.”

“Tug of war!” said Stink as Snickers and Oreo raced to munch a bunch of parsley Webster tossed into their cage.

Two girls wearing ponytails and matching headbands asked, “Do you have any twin guinea pigs? We like everything twins.”

“We have Fuzzy and Wuzzy!” Sophie showed them two brown-and-white pups with curly ears. Fuzzy and Wuzzy wiggled their fluffy white butts.

“They look like they’re wearing tutus,” said one twin.

“We’ll take them!” said the other.

“Only ninety-nine more to go!” said Sophie.

A tall lady with black-and-white hair and red shoes chose a white-crested guinea pig.

“That lady looked just like Cruella De Vil,” said Stink.

   “And the guinea pig she picked looked just like
her,
” said Webster.

“At least she wasn’t wearing a fur coat,” said Sophie.

“Take home a guinea pig,” yelled Stink. “Take two. Take three. Guinea pigs are happier with a friend!”

“We’ll take five,” said Parker, a kid Stink knew from Virginia Dare School. He was with his little brother, Cody.

“Score!” said Stink, scooping up the guinea pigs they picked out. They chose Butterscotch, Blackberry, Hash Brown, Jelly Bean, and . . . Astro!

“Sorry. You can’t have that one,” said Stink.

“Why not?” asked Parker.

“You just can’t,” Stink said.

“Is he yours?”

“Not
exactly,
” said Stink.

“Well, whose is he?”

“Nobody’s, but — look, there are ninety-nine million guinea pigs here. Midnight has a black patch over one eye like a pirate. Shredded Wheat has tons of hair. And Snowball’s super-friendly.” Cody started to cry. He wanted Astro and only Astro.

No way did Stink want to give up Astro. But he knew the time would come when he’d have to, and he didn’t want to blow his chance to give away FIVE guinea pigs. Stink took a deep breath. “You’ll be okay, boy,” he whispered into Astro’s ear. “I’ll come visit you, I promise.” Stink handed him over.

   All afternoon, people streamed into Squeals on Wheels, asking questions and peering into cages to watch guinea pigs run and hide and eat and play and nap. By the end of the day, the Guinea Pig Express had found homes for seventeen guinea pigs!

Stink felt sad about Astro. But he was proud they’d found so many good families to take care of guinea pigs.

“Good job!” said Mrs. Birdwistle.

“Knock, knock! Is the Guinea Pig Express still open? I brought you
two
more customers,” said Judy. “Rocky and Frank.”

“We both want to adopt a guinea pig,” said Rocky. Stink passed guinea pigs to Judy’s friends.

“Hey! This one doesn’t have a tail,” said Rocky.

“Guinea pigs don’t have tails,” said Stink.

“Mine looks like Chewbacca from
Star Wars
!” said Frank Pearl.

   “He’s called a Silkie,” said Stink. “Because he’s way hairy.”

“He looks like a rug,” said Judy.

“Hey, Chewy!” said Frank, stroking the little guy.

Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee!
“My guy sure is noisy,” said Rocky.

“That just means it’s hungry,” said Stink.

“Stink, since when do you speak guinea pig?” Judy asked. “Ooh, it’s like you’re the Guinea Pig Whisperer or something.”

“Or something,” said Stink. “If your guinea pig goes
Arr! Arr!
and barks like a seal, that means it’s lonely. And purring means —”

“Your guinea pig got eaten by a cat?” Judy asked.

“No! It means it’s curious. If it goes
Pttp! Pttp!
like a tiny trumpet, that means it’s happy.
Rrrrrrrrrr!”
Stink trilled, like a car motor.

“What’s that one mean?”

“That your guinea pig’s in the best mood ever,” said Stink. “It means,
Ooh-la-la!
”