S.T.I.N.K.B.O.M.B. (31 page)

Personality:
 Businesslike, authoritative. Likes to win.

Special skills:
 Excellent leadership and management qualities. Thinks ‘outside the box’, as demonstrated by her suggestion to use kids as undercover
agents.

Most likely to say:
 ‘We have an E.M.U. on our hands.’

‘Does anybody understand what Agent Zulu just said?’

Name: Holden Grey

S.T.I.N.K.B.O.M.B. position:
 Tech Branch Specialist

Age:
 73

Appearance:
 White, neatly parted hair (although has recently started spiking it up). Thin silver moustache.

Interests:
 Listening to the wireless, watching
Antiques Roadshow
,
Coronation Street
,
MTV Cribs
,
The Hills
.

Favourite food:
 Steak and kidney pie, jam roly-poly

Personality:
 Infectiously enthusiastic. Sometimes a little overeager to connect with the young agents.

Special skills:
 Has a sharp mind but his knowledge of technology is twenty years behind the times. When it comes to designing gadgets his record is somewhat
hit-and-miss.

Most likely to say:
 ‘BWT, guys, the new Kaney West track is, like, so nasty? And by that I mean it’s groovy.’

(Examining an iPod) ‘Over a thousand songs? Surely not at the same time? How on earth do they get them in there? I can’t even see the eject button.’

Name: Yuri
 (pronounced Yur-ee)
Villenemi

A.K.A:
 Dr Doom

Location:
 Somewhere in Europe

Appearance:
 Strange. One human eye (brown), one reptilian (bulbous and green).

Interests:
 Evil genetic experiments, world domination, cricket (the game)

Favourite food:
 Cricket (the insect)

Personality:
 Psychotic in his determination to take over the world. Constantly feels the need to be appreciated. A keen blogger.

Special skills:
 Cackling for long periods of time. Genetic science.

Most likely to say:
 ‘Ah, Mr Hunt – I’ve been expecting you!’

‘Do excuse my friend. His name is Mr Claws but I’m afraid he’s no Santa . . . and I will take over the world, mwahh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.’

Name: Evelyn Tension

Age:
 42 (approx)

Eyes:
 Green, piercing

Hair:
 Long, flame orange

Background:
 An ex-MI6 Scalpel (assassin) with a history of overstepping the limits of her mission. Thought to bear a grudge against the British Prime Minister after he
revoked her licence to kill. Suspected to have her heart set on personal revenge, possibly leading to world domination.

Favourite food:
 Steak tartare

Personality:
 Vain, charming, dangerous

Special skills:
 Expensively educated, multilingual, with a sky-high IQ and a black belt in numerous martial arts. An exceptional master of disguise and impersonation,
having perfected instantaneous spray-on-liquid-latex-face-mapping technology.

All agents beware – she could be the old man in the bus queue or the schoolgirl in the park.