Stolen Fate (29 page)

I wake up the next day with the worst bout of nausea I’ve ever experienced. I don’t think I drank much last night, but my body is telling me otherwise. It’s everything I can do to not retch over the side of the bed.

When I glance next to me, I notice I’m alone. I half-expected Drayden to be knocked out right next to me, but he isn’t. He must have been giving me my space, no doubt somehow still being able to watch out for me, though.

Mustering up enough strength, I hobble to the bathroom where I deposit everything from last night. Wow, I really don’t feel well, but it seems to only be my stomach. I’m a little achy and very tired, but other than that, I don’t have a hangover per se. My vision isn’t affected and my head feels pretty normal.

I pray this passes soon but just in case, I want to make sure I have something to help out in the meantime. I drudgingly walk toward the kitchen in search of some bread.

I’d been spending so much time at Drayden’s, I hardly food shop anymore. But thankfully, I find some end pieces in the bread sleeve which are still edible. After popping them up from the toaster, I start nibbling on the first piece nice and slow. I don’t even bother buttering it, thinking dry toast will be better on my stomach.

Eventually, I feel well enough to hop in the shower, praying the hot water will make me feel even better. I call Dela and tell her I’m not feeling well, letting her know I’ll be a little late this morning. She just tells me to stay home and get some rest. At first I argue with her but after my stomach does a somersault, I take her up on her offer.

She is such a great boss and an even better friend.

Needless to say, she is a little surprised to see me when I come sauntering through the front door of the bakery.

“Essie,” she calls out. “I thought you weren’t coming in today.” She takes a step closer and examines me more thoroughly. “You still don’t look too good, honey. Why didn’t you choose to stay home and get some rest?”

I take a couple deep breaths, my nausea returning right in that moment. “I feel fine,” I say as I push past her and high-tail it to the restroom where I oh-so-casually empty the dry toast I was able to consume earlier.

What the hell? I rarely get this sick over alcohol, especially when I drank so little. Maybe I’m coming down with something, on top of it, compounding the issue even more.

When I stagger back out toward the front of the bakery, Dela is waiting on a customer. She shoots me a glance when I come into view, obviously worrying about my well-being. I go to work busying myself with arranging a tray of croissants she has yet to place on the display shelves. But before I can even start helping out, she is right next to me stealing the tray from my hands.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she asks, pushing the tray even further away from me. “I appreciate your work ethic and everything, but there is no way in hell I’m going to let you near food. Not when you’re so obviously sick.”

“I’m not that sick, Dela.”

“Really?” she asks me as she takes a step back. “You look like shit, sweetheart. I don’t mean to be so blunt, but you’re obviously in denial here. Either you’re coming down with the flu or something, or you’re pregnant.” She blanches at her own words, instantly regretting what she just said. She is instantly on me, enveloping me in her friendly arms, my possible sickness be damned. “Oh my God, Essie. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

I let her hug out her embarrassment, not once making a move to withdraw from her. Truth be told, I’m more tired than I was an hour ago. And again, my stomach starts rumbling, my mouth watering with my need to once again visit the bathroom. I push away from Dela, and at first I think she thinks it’s because I’m upset with her. But as soon as I make a mad dash toward the back of the store, she knows it isn’t anything personal.

A good twenty minutes passes before I make my appearance again. There is no denying it anymore. I’m sick. I don’t even dwell on the other comment she made because I know it’s impossible. I’ve been faithfully taking birth control since Drayden and I got back together.

“I’m going home, Del. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m coming down with something. Hopefully, something which lasts only twenty-four hours.” I make the mistake of glancing over at my friend’s face and see an expression I wish I didn’t. She’s looking at me as if she knows it isn’t the flu or any kind of twenty-four-hour bug. She’s looking at me as if she has first-hand knowledge I am indeed pregnant.

Her look unsettles me and before I break down in hysterics, I head out the door and back toward my place. Somewhere I can hide and not think about soul-gripping
what ifs
.

I sit there staring at the blue and white box. I’m trying my hardest to get it over with and do it, but I know once it’s done, it’s done. There is no going back no matter how hard I try. For right now, I’m perfectly content living in this moment, the unknown realm swirling all around me.

My cell phone rings, pushing me out of my own crazed-induced delirium.

“Hello?” I whisper, still staring at the box.

“Hey, babe. Listen, I have to work late tonight, but I was thinking about picking you up afterwards so we can have a late dinner. What do you think?”

That box is calling me, tempting me to delve right in, but in the next split second it’s throwing out a warning to me, telling me to stay as far away as possible. I’m lost in my own head, warring between two sides. I want for it to be true but then again, I know what heartbreak can lie ahead if it is. I’m so confused.

“Babe? Are you still there?” Drayden’s voice calls to me from the other end of the phone. “Essie?” he shouts louder this time, finally catching my flailing attention.

“What? Oh sorry, honey. What did you say?”

“Are you okay? What’s going on?” There is sudden panic in his voice. “Are you okay? Is someone there?”

“No. No. Sorry, I was just distracted for a second. What did you ask me? Something about dinner later?”

There’s a slight pause on his end before he answers. “Yes,” he responds. “I’ll pick you up at eight-thirty for a late dinner. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect. See you then.” I’m about to hang up when he speaks again.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Essie? You sound off. You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?” I hear his ragged breaths, as if he’s trying to decide whether or not to let it go or rush over here to find out what the hell has me so distracted.

“I’m fine, babe. Really. I’ll see you when you get here.”

“Okay. If you say so.” Another pause. “I’ll see you soon.”

Once I hang up, I have a very important task to complete. I can either stew in uncertainty, or I can put my big-girl pants on and face what could potentially be my new reality. After careful deliberation, I choose option number two. The next couple minutes could forever change my new life.

Oh, well. Here goes nothing.

~~~~

Drayden is punctual as usual, which is awesome since I’m now officially starving. I haven’t eaten anything pretty much all day, and my stomach is rumbling loud enough for me to actually hear it.

Once we get to the restaurant, I order two appetizers as well as a full-course meal. I know my eyes are bigger than my stomach, but I need something in my mouth ASAP. And since we’re in public, I have to utilize something which isn’t attached to his body.

“How was your day?” he asks as he reaches across the table and touches my hand, entangling his strong fingers with mine. The look he’s giving me is instantly making me horny. How does he do it with just one glance?

“Well, now that you ask,” I respond before taking a sip of my water. “I was sick in the morning, but I felt a bit better so I went into work. But once I was there I got sick again. Dela sent me home, and I slept for the rest of the day.” I squeeze his hand without realizing it, causing him to look at me questioningly.              

“How are you feeling now?”

“I’m hungry,” I laugh, reaching for another piece of the yummy bread the waiter brought us.

“Yeah, I kind of guessed as much,” he said. “At least you’re feeling better now. And you know what? I think there’s something going around anyway because a few of the guys at one of the sites called in sick over the past few days. So, yeah,” he said looking away for a split second, “there’s something going around.”

I don’t respond. I can’t. I’m not sure how I’m going to broach this subject. I need some sort of game plan and since it’s still too fresh, I need more time. Being more concerned about him and his feelings, I decide to table this discussion for a better time. A time when I’m able to express my thoughts and feelings better. Hopefully a time way off in the future. Well, not too far off.

Later on that night, after Drayden wears me out yet again from one of our marathon sex sessions, he blurts out something he had mentioned previously, on a day which seems like forever ago.

“Marry me, Essie. Make me the happiest man alive and do me the honor of becoming my wife.” He says this to me as our limbs are all wrapped up in one another. His breath is fanning across my face as he holds me tight. My head is resting on his warm chest, listening to his heartbeat, which oddly enough is directly in sync with my own. Even though he’s made reference to marrying me before, I’m still thrown by his words.

“Are you serious?”

“When have you ever known me to joke about something like this? Of course, I’m serious. I don’t know what we’re waiting for already. We love each other and want to be together forever, right?” He moves his head to look down at me. “Right?”

“Yes. Of course.” He senses my hesitation, but little does he know it has nothing to do with his proposal. Instead, it has everything to do with the results from the pregnancy test I took earlier today. All sorts of thoughts ran through my head when that line turned positive. I was baffled, really thrown for a loop. I really thought fate wouldn’t do this to me again. Do this to
us
again. I was angry at first, but after a couple hours of incessant thinking I was able to change my position, looking at the positive. For someone who wasn’t ever supposed to have children, he’s being given a second chance at this. We both are. But what if something happens? I don’t think I’ll be able to survive it again. I barely survived the first time. But as much as I’m worried about my own well-being, I’m worried about him even more. After everything I put him through, I think another devastation will crush him.

“Essie? Talk to me, honey. What are you thinking?” He forces me out of my own head for a brief moment.

I move away from him and rise to my knees, running my hands up and down my thighs in nervousness. He shifts as well, surely to brace himself for whatever is about to fly out of my mouth. I wish there was nothing else to discuss in this wonderful moment, other than him asking me to marry him. I long for that to be the only thing running through my mind, but it isn’t. It’s actually second-rate to what I’m about to tell him.

Without even realizing it, I start to cry. At first, there are only a few stray tears of uncertainty dancing down my cheeks, but they are soon followed with many, many more. I believe Drayden thinks at first they’re tears of happiness, but he soon figures out that isn’t the case. The look in my eyes, one of pain and hesitation, wins out. He instantly rises from where he’s lying, reaches for me and draws me back down onto the bed. On top of his body.

“Baby, don’t cry. What’s the matter? Why are you so upset?” He’s running his hands all over my body and kissing the top of my head as I nestle into him. “Is it because you don’t want to give up your apartment?”

“Oh, my God, Dray, I wish that was the reason I’m so upset. It would make this so much easier to tell you.” I try to lift myself but he only tightens his hold. I let him comfort me for another minute before I break free of his persistent grasp.

“Okay, you’re starting to freak me out, Essie. What the hell is going on with you?” He runs his hand through his hair, making a few of the strands stick out in frustration. “Tell me now before I start to think the worst.” His voice deepens in his nervousness.

“I don’t know any other way to say this except to just blurt it out.” I lock eyes with him, waiting for something. Anything. A sign I shouldn’t be doing this right here and now. A hope that this is all a dream and I’ll wake up before the words leave my mouth.

But nothing comes. Nothing comes because this is my reality.

Our
reality.

“I’m pregnant.”

Our eyes are still locked, but there is so much emotion passing between us, all without a flicker of a movement from either one of us.

It seems like forever passes before he says anything. I remain quiet because there is nothing else for me to utter which will top those two monumental words.

“Are you sure? How do you know?” He’s mirroring my stance now, sitting back on the heels of his feet, running his own hands up and down his strained muscular thighs. “But you’re on the pill. How is it even possible?”

“We didn’t use any protection the first time. You know, after we went to dinner and went back to my place.” Beads of sweat are forming at my temple.

His brows knit together, trying to remember exactly when I’m talking about. Then it dawns on him. “I remember.” His eyes lock on mine after a few minutes of looking everywhere else. “How long have you known about this?” he asks, waving at my stomach. Before I can answer him, he jumps off the bed and starts pacing back and forth right in front of me. “How far along are you? I still don’t know how this is possible, do you? How do you feel about all this?”

He peppers me with his incessant questions, unrelenting to the fact he’s making me upset all over again. His nervousness and uncertainty is stressing me out even more because nothing I can do or say in this moment will calm him down. I scramble off the bed and move toward him, but as soon as I make contact, he flinches away from me.

A look of anger and fear passes over him before he collects himself.

“Drayden,” I gasp before I start to cry all over again. Sobbing in front of him like this is one of the most humbling experiences of my life. Neither one of us knows how to help the other.

“Baby,” he soothes as he draws me into is body. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. Please, forgive me. I’m just…shocked. That’s all.” He reaches down and lifts my face toward his, wiping away as many tears as he can before kissing me tenderly. When he breaks the kiss he hugs me close again, whispering soothing and hopeful words into the air. “This is a good thing, Essie. It has to be.”

We retire to bed that night full of hope and fear, love and doubt. The last time this happened was because of a forced situation, but this time is so different. We both fear the worst possible outcome.

Will we lose this baby like we did Ethan?

~~~~

The next morning is a whirlwind of activity, mostly on Drayden’s part. He lets me sleep in a bit before waking me up. At first, I’m panicked because I slept right through my alarm and I’m late for work. But as soon as I calm down enough from my initial panic, he tells me he called Dela to let her know I won’t be in for the rest of the week because I’m resting.

He didn’t tell her about the pregnancy, thank God. I’m not ready to share the news with anyone yet; anyone other than Drayden, of course. And I was even hesitant about that in the beginning.

A lot of my fears are settled down from his reassuring words about this baby. He’s very happy about it and is comforting me at every turn, telling me how lucky we both are and that we should be nothing but over-the-moon happy.

It’s not until the middle of the day that I remember he proposed to me the night before, and I still haven’t given him an answer. I was so wrapped up in my own head with everything I totally dismissed his entire proposal.

Walking up behind him in the kitchen, I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his shoulder blade. He turns his head to the side to look into my eyes. “Hey, baby,” he says before he twists a bit more and kisses my lips. When my tongue flicks out to run over his bottom lip, he drops the knife he’s making sandwiches with on the counter and turns completely around so I’m now pressed against his bare chest.

“Hi,” I say in response, my desire already set in motion. My hands make their way up and wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him in closer to me. I can’t get enough of his taste. Oh, I remember these hormones. The only difference this time is I’m sure Drayden will let me get my fill, over and over and over.

“Does someone want some lovin’ right now?” He laughs as he reaches down and grips my ass in his strong hands, pushing his very-erect arousal into me.

“I’m in desperate need for some lovin’; thank you for asking.” He grips me tighter and picks me up so I can wrap myself around him. He places me on top of the counter, pulling my night shirt up so it’s bunched around my waist. I’m not wearing any panties, so there is nothing standing in the way of this love fest happening right here and now.

“You drive me wild, woman,” he growls in my ear as he nips at my throat. “Do you know that?”

“Yes.” I put my hands on his chest and push him back so I can look deep into his blue eyes. He hasn’t shaved in a couple days and has quite the sexy scruff going on. I cup his beautiful face in my hands and run my fingertips over his jaw. “Yes,” I say again, causing him to knit his eyebrows in confusion.

“What are you saying yes to, Essie?”

“I’m saying yes to being your wife, Drayden. Yes…I will marry you.” The look which overtakes his features is so glorious it makes me smile just as wide, because I’m the person who makes it happen. He lifts me off the counter and twirls me around, causing me to cry out in surprise. But after the second time around, he quickly puts me on my feet, reaching down and running his hand over my belly.

“Are you okay?” He switches from ecstatic to concerned in the matter of seconds.

“Yes, silly. I’m fine. Maybe a little dizzy is all.” His face relaxes and he goes back to being happy, grinning from ear to ear.

“You have just made me the luckiest and happiest man in the entire universe, Essie.” He pulls me back toward him, linking his hands behind my back to secure me to him. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“Ask me that question when I’m as big as a house and hormonal as hell,” I laugh, holding on to his strong body.

As I’m about to say something else, he releases me, reaches over and grabs his phone. He dials the number so quick I can’t stop him. I think for sure he’s going to call someone from his family and tell them the news, but I’m wrong.

“Dr. Higgins. It’s me, Drayden. Listen, I need a huge favor. I need an appointment ASAP. Today.” He looks down at me and I break out in a smile. Leave it to him to not waste one precious second. “Okay, see you then. Thanks.” He hangs up the phone, leans down and kisses me again.

“Can I assume I have an appointment today?”

“You can assume right, my love. Two o’clock.”

I look over at the clock hanging on the wall above the sink. “Drayden!” I cry out. “That’s in like forty-five minutes.” I try to break free from his hold but he is unwavering. “Babe…please,” I plead. “I have to jump in the shower.”

“But I kind of like my scent all over you,” he says, pushing me back toward the counter again.

“Well, you can mark me when we get home. Fair enough?”

“I guess so,” he grumbles as he finally releases me. I start to make a mad dash for the bathroom when I hear him call out from behind me. “Don’t run.”

Oh, no. He’s going to be unbearable this time around. But after giving it a second thought, I wouldn’t want it any other way.