Stolen Girl (20 page)

I knew I’d been stupid to have unprotected sex with Rafan again so I returned to the GUM clinic, where they told me I’d contracted Chlamydia for a second time. I should have felt disgusted; I’d known Rafan had given it to me in the first place and now he’d done it again. But I was past caring – all my emotions had been blunted by the abortion. I was in meltdown and nothing or no one could stop me. I continued this way, in my spiral of self-destruction, over the next few weeks.

Then another man who worked at Wadi’s shop started talking to me. His name was Isam. He asked for my mobile number so I gave it to him. He gave me beer and took me to the countryside. Once, he drove me and Lauren there and we saw Rafan drive past in his car, but he didn’t see us.

Isam parked up and pushed a coat up against the windows. He told Lauren to get in the front and draped a blanket across the front seats so she couldn’t see. Then he told me to get on the back seat, where he had sex with me. He even turned up the radio so it was loud enough to cover the noises he made.

Lauren never said much to me after that – I think she formed her own opinion of me and what I’d become. I couldn’t tell her I was only doing it to stop them from doing it to her; she wouldn’t understand.

Still, I felt dirty. My GP prescribed more tablets to get rid of the sexually transmitted infection but the pills couldn’t clean me inside. I’d always be scarred where my baby had been ripped from my body.

Wadi later found out about Isam and sacked him from the shop. After that, I never saw Isam again.

A female counsellor at the new school noticed my mood swings and erratic behaviour and made it clear she wanted to speak to me. She spoke to us all individually once a week
anyway to see if she could help with problems at home but I never told her a thing. However, despite my loathing for school, I actually liked this woman. Her name was Rebecca.

One Friday, Rebecca called me into her room.

‘Is everything alright, Katie?’ she asked.

I nodded numbly, but everything was far from alright. Zeb had been on the phone chastising me for not having answered his calls. I told him that I’d been ill, but he wasn’t interested. I didn’t mention the baby – I knew it would just make him worse.

‘I’m fine,’ I answered. I told her what she wanted to hear.

‘And at home? How are things at home?’ she said, pressing me a little further.

‘Okay, I suppose.’ I shrugged my shoulders.

Rebecca was friendly and asked me if there was anything else I’d like to talk about. I told her there wasn’t, but she kept on at me. I wondered if she could read it on my face. Did she suspect something? I knew it was madness. She didn’t have a clue; only I knew the real truth.

‘If there’s anything,
anything
you ever need to talk to me about, then I’m always here. You can tell me anything, Katie. It’s all confidential, just between the two of us.’

I nodded for a second time and my eyes darted over towards the door. I couldn’t wait to get out of there before I blurted something out and gave the game away.

‘Well,’ Rebecca said, putting her hands on her knees, ‘I guess we’re all done here.’

I jumped to my feet and almost bolted for the door.

‘But Katie,’ she called, ‘anytime you need to speak to me, the door,’ she said, pointing to it, ‘is
always
open.’

I smiled and turned back. Grabbing the door handle I
pushed it down and stepped back into cool corridor and let out a sigh of relief.

The usual call from Zeb followed a day later.

‘Where have you been?’ he snapped. ‘I’ve been texting but you’ve not answered any of my texts.’

‘Sorry,’ I mumbled. I didn’t mean it.

I saw Zeb that day and a few more times after that but by now I hated him. He’d made everything in my life rotten. I’d lost everything because of him and the others. I’d lost my childhood, my innocence, even my baby. At first I’d told myself he loved me, but he didn’t: you didn’t make someone you love have sex with complete strangers. It wasn’t just odd, it was seedy and evil. He was evil.

I decided something had to give. One day I’d tell someone all about the secret house, about the Asian men. I’d come clean. But who would I tell and when? The answer came much sooner than I could ever have anticipated.

‘
K
atie, is that you?' It was Zeb, and he sounded edgy and urgent.

‘Yes,' I replied, my flesh crawling at the sound of his voice.

‘I need to meet you today – I'll pick you up, usual place.'

‘Err…I can't,' I lied. ‘I'm busy.'

‘This is important – I need to speak to you about something. Be there. 4pm, and DON'T be late!' he warned.

I sat in school watching the clock above the teacher's head. Soon it would be time to go home, but not to the safety of Mum and Phil. Tonight I'd walk into the arms of a monster. Part of me was curious – I wondered what he wanted to speak to me about. What was so important that it couldn't wait? Maybe it was something good. Whatever it was, I wouldn't know unless I met him.

Zeb was in the front of Aban's car in the alleyway as I approached. He smiled as soon as he saw me; he was in a good mood.

‘Katie,' he said, holding out his arms as if greeting an old friend, ‘get in, get in!'

But his happy mood set me on edge. I knew him well and
when he was like this it made me nervous because I couldn't second-guess what was coming next.

‘What did you want to speak to me about?' I asked.

‘Oh,
that
? Never mind, have a drag on this,' he said, handing me a spliff.

I inhaled the smoke and felt my tense body relax.

‘Let's go to the house, we can talk there,' he said, waving his hand at Aban in the driver's seat.

Aban turned the key in the ignition and off we set towards the secret house. Once inside, Zeb handed me a large vodka and Coke.

‘Drink it,' he urged. ‘It'll help you relax.'

I did as he said and let the warm alcohol slide down the back of my throat.

‘Thirsty?' he laughed, as he poured me another.

Zeb took me in his arms and cuddled me, something he rarely did. I felt my body stiffen underneath his touch. Something wasn't right, I just knew it. He was in an unnaturally good mood. Something was coming.

We smoked spliff after spliff and I drank the other large vodka and Coke, only this time I noticed there was more vodka than Coke in it.

‘Have you ever tried the other coke?' Zeb said. He was staring at me, as if for the first time.

‘What, cocaine?' I replied.

‘Yep.' He nodded and started to laugh.

I told him I hadn't. I was fifteen years old, and alcohol and cannabis were the only drugs I'd ever tried. Cocaine was for junkies and I wasn't one of them.

‘Listen, Katie,' he said, putting his drink down on the coffee table. ‘I need you to do something for me.'

I looked at him. This was it; this was what he'd brought me here to tell me.

‘I need you to have sex with other men,' he said bluntly.

The words made me choke on my drink and I started to cough. What did he think I'd been doing in this house? I'd been having sex with his friends all this time. But he wasn't finished.

‘What do you mean?' I asked, panic rising inside me.

‘I want you to have sex for money,' he explained. ‘I want you to have sex with strangers for money.'

I was so shocked that I dropped my glass back down on the table. The brown liquid rose up and splashed over the edge. I stared at the puddle.

‘For
money
?' I repeated.

‘Uh huh,' Zeb grunted as he took another drag on his spliff, ‘Yep.'

He blew a cloud of smoke out from his mouth. ‘It'll be fine because we'll split the money between us. You and me – it'd be like a business arrangement.'

I shook my head vehemently.

‘No way! No way, Zeb!' I said, rising to my feet.

‘Katie, relax, sit down! You do me favours here anyway – the only difference is you'll get paid for it now. And I'll give you cocaine, as much as you want. You can sniff it up your nose – it'll make you feel good. It'll make you feel sexy,' he leered.

My stomach churned as I watched the word ‘sexy' dance on his lips. I felt sick. I knew exactly what he meant – Zeb wanted to turn me into a prostitute. He'd get me hooked on cocaine so I'd rely on him to feed my habit. Things were bad enough but now it seemed he had my whole future mapped out: I'd be a prostitute and he'd be my pimp.

‘We'd have money – lots of it,' he explained, excitement rising in his voice.

‘Think what you could do with all that money. You wouldn't have to worry, you could live here with me – I'll look after you. I'll take care of you forever.'

His eyes shone the more he spoke. I couldn't believe it – he was serious.

Zeb looked over, searching my face for an answer, but I didn't give one.

‘Well?' he snapped, ‘what do you think?'

I knew what I thought but I was too frightened to say.

‘What if I don't like the men, what if they're old and ugly? I wouldn't have to have sex with them if I didn't want to, would I?'

Zeb's face clouded over and he became angry.

‘Of course you would, you silly bitch! You won't be able to refuse. If they pay you'll have to do it because you'll be providing a service. It's a business for Christ's sake – it'll make you rich!'

But I didn't want to be rich – I wanted to be safe. I wanted Zeb out of my life for good, but all I could think was that I needed to get out of there in one piece.

‘Err…I'll think about it,' I promised. I knew I'd have to play along just to keep him happy. If I said no, God only knows what he'd do to me.

I prayed my voice sounded convincing enough.

‘Good, good,' Zeb said. ‘Now finish your drink and Aban will take you home.'

I got straight to my feet – I didn't need telling twice.

‘But Katie…' Zeb called as I neared the front door. My heart thudded violently inside my chest.

‘I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Don't take too long to think about it. It's a good offer – it will make us both rich!'

I smiled tightly back at him but my entire body felt rigid with fear. Calmly, I closed the door, walked out into the street and climbed into the back of Aban's car.

‘Take me home, please,' I begged.

Aban turned the key in the ignition and the car fired into life. As the countryside whizzed by, I knew it was time: I had to tell someone. It was now or never.

T
hat evening I couldn’t sleep. I had nightmares and they were full of Zeb: he was coming for me and there was no escape.

I dreamt I was on a fairground helter-skelter but someone was chasing me with a knife. I was certain it was Zeb. I slid down the ride but became stuck halfway. The slide began to fill with water so I had to get off. I jumped to the ground but there were three men waiting for me. I couldn’t see their faces but I recognised one voice – Zeb’s. Two men pinned me down whilst Zeb tried to suffocate me using a plastic bag.

The next morning, I was so traumatised both my pyjamas and bed were sodden with sweat. I couldn’t eat breakfast because I felt sick and all churned up inside. Instead I grabbed my bag and raced to school; I had to tell someone about Zeb before he trapped me for good. I knew exactly what to do and who I should tell – Rebecca. She was the school counsellor; she’d know what to do.

I ran to school and went straight to the office but Rebecca was nowhere to be seen. A teacher passed.

‘Is Rebecca in today?’ I asked, a little breathless.

‘I think so, maybe this afternoon?’ the teacher replied.

My body shrank at the news. I was ready to tell her now but she wasn’t there. Inside I was panicking because I knew that I had to speak to her before Zeb got to me. I didn’t realise but the stress and worry showed on my face.

‘Is everything alright, Katie?’ the teacher asked.

‘Yes,’ I mumbled.

I made an excuse, hitched up my bag and headed off into the classroom. I didn’t tell her because I didn’t trust her. The only person I could tell was Rebecca. I could tell her anything, she’d said so. She wouldn’t tell anyone else, either – it was all confidential. Rebecca would know what to do; she’d know how to make this stop.

I knew I was out of my depth with Zeb. The situation had changed overnight. He had a plan and he wanted me to be part of it but I didn’t want to be, not anymore.

I prayed Rebecca would arrive before Zeb rang.

A few hours later I was in the corridor when I heard someone call my name: it was Rebecca.

‘I heard you were looking for me,’ she smiled. ‘I’m here now – do you want to come through to the office?’

I was relieved, but as I followed her I had second thoughts. I wondered if this was a good idea after all – what if she judged me? What if she thought I was a slag? Then I thought about Zeb – how he’d said he was my boyfriend. What if she thought I was just some stupid kid who couldn’t handle a relationship? By the time we sat down and closed the door, I was lost for words.

‘Well?’ she said softly, trying to prompt me. ‘Is there something you’d like to tell me? Is there something troubling you?’

I looked over at her. Rebecca was dressed in trendy jeans and a cool top. She was obviously older than me but she still looked young and nothing at all like a teacher or a counsellor. She’d understand. She
had
to – I had no one else I could turn to.

‘You said everything I tell you is confidential?’ I began nervously.

‘Absolutely,’ she replied. ‘Everything you tell me in here is confidential. You can tell me anything – nothing will shock me.’

I thought for a moment. Maybe it wasn’t so shocking at all. Maybe it was totally normal and really quite boring. Maybe I’d just built it up inside my head into something it wasn’t. Rebecca would just know how to stop Zeb’s plan – I could handle everything else. I didn’t want to become Zeb’s prostitute, that’s all. My life wasn’t perfect but I could live with the rest.

‘There is a man,’ I told her, my voice quiet and a little shaky to begin with. ‘I’ve never told anyone this before but he takes me to a house. It’s in the next town…’

I stopped mid-sentence. I’d said it – I’d told her about the secret house. Zeb would kill me if he ever found out.

‘What house, Katie? Is it his house?’

‘Yes, sort of,’ I guessed. ‘Other men go there too but I think he owns it.’

‘And this man,’ she said, leaning forward, ‘what does he take you to this house for? What do you do when you get there?’

My hands knotted together nervously in my lap and I glanced downwards. I couldn’t look at her because I felt too ashamed.

‘We have sex,’ I replied, my voice barely a whisper.

‘You and this man have sex in this house. Where is this house, Katie? You must tell me. And how old is this man?’

‘He’s older than me – I think he’s married – but he said I can’t tell anyone about the house because it’s a secret house.’

Rebecca’s eyes widened. She looked shocked but she tried to hide it.

‘But it’s normal,’ I said, beginning to panic. ‘It’s okay because he takes care of me.’

Rebecca nodded but it was obvious she didn’t agree.

‘No, really, it’s fine because he’s my boyfriend. We just smoke a few spliffs and have a drink,’ I said, suddenly starting to backtrack. I wondered if I was doing the right thing.

‘But Katie,’ Rebecca said, leaning further forwards towards me in her chair. ‘Can’t you see it’s
not
normal? He’s older than you. You are fifteen years old. You’re underage – you shouldn’t be having sex.’

I knew she’d mention the age thing. For a moment I even wondered if I was in trouble, but I could tell from the look on her face I wasn’t. I opened my mouth and inhaled a deep breath to calm my nerves. I wasn’t finished yet.

‘It’s not just him,’ I sighed. I couldn’t look at her. ‘There are other men and they’re all Asian – I have sex with them all.’

Rebecca gasped so loud it made me look up.

‘But it’s okay…’ I reasoned. ‘It’s normal because they love me.’

She shook her head in horror as I said the words.

‘No, it’s not normal, Katie, can’t you see that? It just isn’t. These men, this man, they’re abusing you – you’re still a child.’

Abuse
. The word came out of nowhere and hit me. I’d never thought of it like that before. I was still a child and these were grown men, but they didn’t care how old I was when they had
sex with me. She was right, it
was
abuse – it was child abuse and I was the victim.

My voice cracked with emotion – there was so much more to tell.

‘I got pregnant and had to have an abortion. It was horrible.’ I said breaking down. ‘I wanted to keep the baby,’ I sobbed. ‘It was the only good thing to have come out of all of this but everyone talked me out of it. Mum knows about the baby…’

I looked up because I realised how much I’d said.

‘But she doesn’t know about the men –
please
don’t tell her, don’t tell Mum!’ I begged.

Once I began, the rest of my tears came thick and fast. Rebecca leaned over and grabbed a box of tissues, which she handed to me. I nodded gratefully.

‘Tell me about the man,’ she said softly, ‘What else does he make you do?’

‘Zeb?’ I asked. ‘He’s my boyfriend but he makes me have sex with other men in the house. I’m frightened of him but I have to do as he tells me otherwise he says he’ll rape Mum and make me watch.’

Rebecca couldn’t help it. She gasped with horror and flopped back into her chair.

‘He’s
threatened
you?’

‘No…Yes…I don’t know…’ I wept. My head was buzzing. It felt all tangled up inside, confused and messy.

‘Have you told anyone else about this Zeb?’ she asked.

‘No, only you. But there’s something else; something I haven’t told you.’

Rebecca leaned forward and held my hand in hers. ‘Go on,’ she urged.

‘He wants me to have sex with more men – strangers. He says he’s going to charge them for sex but he’ll split the money with me. He says we’ll be rich. But I don’t want to be rich, Rebecca – I just want to be normal.’

My voice faded as more tears came. Rebecca soothed me but I could tell she was horrified and was still trying to process everything I’d just told her.

‘You’ve done the right thing coming to see me,’ she finally said. ‘And I’m going to help you, Katie.’

It was all I needed to hear. Her words eased the pain I felt inside. Soon I’d told her everything.

‘He says he’s going to give me cocaine – he wants me to rely on him. But I don’t want to be a prostitute and I don’t want to take cocaine. I’m frightened,’ I admitted. ‘He’s going to ring me to see what my answer is. What am I going to tell him?’ I added, my voice high with panic.

‘You ignore his calls,’ Rebecca insisted, her eyes fixed firmly on mine, ‘You don’t answer any of his calls from now on, Katie. Promise me.’

I looked at her.

‘Promise.’

‘Good girl,’ she said.

For the first time in years I felt as though the big black cloud hanging above my head had cleared. Things had become clearer. I was glad I’d come to see Rebecca, glad that I’d finally found the courage to tell someone.

She sat and listened as I told her how Zeb had threatened me countless times.

‘He’d said no one would ever believe me – he said everyone would think I was a slapper.’

‘He’s trying to control you,’ she told me.

‘You don’t think I’m a slag, do you?’ I asked.

‘Of course not,’ she replied. ‘You’re the victim in all this, Katie. You’re a child – you’ve done nothing wrong. This man has taken advantage of you and he must be stopped.’

‘
Stopped
?’ I gasped. The word stuck in my throat.

I didn’t want her to stop Zeb because to do that I knew she’d have to speak to him, then he’d know I’d told her everything, then he’d rape Mum and hurt me.

‘But he
can’t
know I’ve told you!’ I said, panic rising in my voice.

‘Katie, if we don’t stop him now he’ll do this to another girl. He’ll ruin another young life. You don’t want that to happen, do you?’

I shook my head. Rebecca was right.

‘Listen,’ she said, getting up from her chair. ‘I need to tell Adrian about this.’

I began to cry once more. I didn’t want Adrian to know – he was the centre manager and Rebecca’s boss.

‘But you said it was confidential!’ I cried. ‘You said it was between you and me!’

I was panicking now. This was really happening. My secret was out and soon everyone would know.

But Rebecca was adamant.

‘Katie, I have a duty of care to you and all the other kids here. I have to report this – it’s what they call “guilty knowledge”. I can’t just ignore it. If I did, I wouldn’t be doing my job properly.’

‘But you can’t,
please
…’ I begged.

‘Katie, this man needs to be stopped before he hurts anyone else. This is the only way to do it. Trust me.’

I pleaded with Rebecca not to tell Adrian but she wouldn’t
listen. I’d trusted her but now I felt she’d lied to me. Once Adrian knew, he’d tell Mum, Dad, even Phil.

Then I remembered and my stomach lurched.

Oh God,
I thought,
Zeb is going to kill me!