Stowaway (2 page)

“Yeah, but why did
we drag Major to this? Seems like a waste. Maybe we should have left him at
home.”

Is he senile or
just playing with her? I can hear her exasperated sigh. Aren’t nurses supposed
to be patient and forgiving? I guess it’s hard with someone like him.

“Let’s go, Carl.
They’re waiting for us. Wedding guests get to board first.”

I hear their
footsteps walk off, but don’t feel the crate being dragged behind.

“What about
Major?” I hear Carl ask from farther away.

“Oh, I called a
porter for him. No way
I want
to lug that big thing up
the gangway.”

“They won’t bother
him, will they? He is already upset.”

“No, they very
clearly said they will leave him untouched and waiting for us in the hallway.
We can call when we’re ready to leave, and someone will help him back down.”

“Seems a shame,
Teresa, him not getting to see very much of a ship as magnificent as this one.
Maybe we should take him with us instead. I’d sure like us to tour the art
exhibit before we leave. He’d love the
DuPorte
. He
adores the other ones I’ve got, you know.”

“Carl!”

I know she’s won,
and soon two strong crewmen heft me and Major aboard. One starts to peek in,
but is stopped by the angry monkey banging at the door. His partner yells at
him in a language I don’t understand, but I get the gist, which is for the
first guy to stop playing around.

Finally, they
leave and it is quiet. I can hear a muffled hymn being sung by a crowd in the
distance. But no voices close by. No footsteps, either.

“We must be in the
hall, boy. We made it!” I say to Major, who doesn’t look like that calms him
any.

After a quick
glance outside, I shove past him and hook my finger on the latch to let myself
out of the cage. My back hurts from crouching, and before I can turn to close
the door behind me, Major springs from the opening and knocks me to the ground.

Chapter 2

“Major!” I shout
in as loud a whisper as I dare. I try to chase after him, but my right foot
apparently fell asleep inside the crate, and I almost tumble face-first onto
the plush, carpeted floor. My foot just won’t work right and there is no way I
can catch the runaway primate.
 

I hear voices
coming, so I pound on my leg to
get the blood
flowing.
Finally, it does, and I am off. I need to get out of here before anyone
realizes I am not only a stowaway, but the one who released an unauthorized
animal on their ship. Unwanted attention is the last thing I need, being a
fugitive and all.

So, I hobble
quickly away towards the first ladies room I see. It will have to do as a
hiding place until the rest of the
passengers
board.
Then, I can probably roam more freely.

As I settle on a
toilet seat and pull my feet up, I hear the first scream. I guess Major has
been discovered, because it sounds like it’s getting exciting real quick
outside the bathroom door. Soon, everything dies down and I hear Teresa’s voice
getting closer.

“….why we insisted
no one open that cage for anything! The bride is in tears. You’re lucky she
decided to go on with the ceremony.”

“I’m sorry miss,”
says an official-sounding voice. “We aren’t sure what happened, but you are
welcome to a free brunch in one of our lovely dining areas before you depart.”

“I don’t want a
free meal, I want a free cruise. Or, I’m suing!”

It is Carl making
the demand.

“Sir, I….”

“No, I know how
this cruise thing works. Teresa, did you know anyone on this ship can eat the
whole time for free? Almost any time of the day! Anyway, they always have a
cabin or two left vacant, just in case. I heard some tourist talking about it
earlier.”

“Carl…,” Teresa
starts. But the old man is on a roll, and not listening.

“
Pah
!
Trying to get me, a poor, blind old
man to go away with one measly meal.
Well, I won’t be silenced! You
could have killed my service animal!”

“Of course, sir,”
says the flustered attendant, who has to be considering the public relations
nightmare Carl might cause. “Let me see what we can do to accommodate you.”

I laugh quietly.
Oh, I like Carl, and it looks like we are about to be shipmates. It is also
good to know about the food. I hope he is right about that. My stomach is
rumbling.

Finally, I hear
the crowds of regular passengers outside the bathroom as they flood onto the
ship. I breathe a sigh of relief and stretch, happy to be done squishing myself
in cramped spaces.
Time to join the rest of the tourists.

Oh, wow. My
reflection is scary as I pass the mirrors that line the wall above the sinks. I
stop to swish some water around my un-brushed mouth, wipe at yesterday’s
mascara that rings my raccoon eyes and smooth down my frizzy hair as I re-band
it into a pony tail. There’s nothing to be done about my outfit.

As I exit the
washroom, I’m not as worried about my looks. While many passengers are dressed
nicely, a yawning girl immediately wanders past me in pajamas and fluffy
slippers. She is heading straight toward a sign for the elevators, so I assume
she is going to her cabin for some extra shut-eye. It is early. Several others
come dragging by in ragged, comfortable clothes. Maybe I won’t stand out so
much after all.

I can’t stop
smiling as the ship leaves the dock. As I watch with a waving crowd on the main
deck, my worries fade as the shore does. I cheer right along with them,
although I know there is no one out there waving back for me, except maybe the
guy in the suit. Funny, I expected the motion to be more jarring, but we just
smoothly glide out to sea.

After we are
surrounded by ocean, I head inside to the promenade in the center of the ship.
The two-story space reminds me of the mall I work in back home, a giant central
aisle, lined with gift shops that sell over-priced, name brand merchandise
¾
everything from logo clothing to alcohol. It seems to
also serve as the main artery for public traffic, connecting the lodging,
dining and entertainment areas.

I find a bar at
the near end that looks like an innocuous place to hang out for a while until I
get my bearings. I pick a chair at the far end, order the first thing I see
that’s free and wait for it to arrive.

“Hi, I’m Mike.”

The guy slides
into the chair two down from me.
Great.
He has stringy
brown
hair,
a black muscle tee-shirt that only
highlights how skinny he is and a half-empty glass of something pond scum
green. The drink looks revolting, as does its owner.

“Go away, Mike.
I’m not looking for company.”

“Oh, sure you are.
Buy you a drink?”

He leans over,
reaches behind my ear and produces a coin from thin air.

“Cute,
Mike.
Only thing is, my drink is free and already on its way. So, find
someone else to bother.”

He gets up as my
drink arrives, and I think he’s finally leaving. To my disappointment, he sits
back down in the chair closest to me.

“Come on, doll.
I’m just trying to be nice.”

He eases closer,
puts his arm on my chair back.

“Tell me about
yourself. What is your name?”

He fidgets as he
waits for me to speak, clicking an old, banged up aluminum lighter with his
free hand. Funny, he doesn’t smell like a smoker. He smells like bug spray
cologne
¾
the spicy, musky kind of scent that continues to attack
your nostrils long after the wearer is gone. I feel a headache forming.

“None
of your business.
Get that hand away from me if you care to keep it,
Mike. And, for Pete’s sake, stop clicking that lighter.”

He slithers his
hand back to his own chair. Not a moment too soon. I was about to stab it with
my drink umbrella if he left it there any longer. Not really, but the thought
of doing it makes me feel better.

“No problem, doll.
You have a nice weekend, you hear?”

Just as he starts
to rise, he is stopped by a too-chipper voice.

“What a cute
couple! Care for a picture?”

Before either of
us can answer,
a flash fires
in my face. Through the
residual light and dark spots that fill my vision, I can see we’ve just been
accosted by a shipboard photographer. She is dressed in a gaudy pirate uniform,
complete with a pink, rhinestone eye patch. It reminds me of the seasonal
salespeople who squirt perfume at you in the mall during the holidays. Ones
like that are tough, but you’ve just got to put your foot down for them to
leave you alone.
Especially when you are forced to pass them
more than once.
Otherwise, you end the day smelling something like Mike.

“Lovely,” she is
continuing, oblivious at our annoyance. “Now when you two get ready to purchase
this happy memory, just look for the print kiosk near the Photo Center, ok?”

As she starts to
dart away, I grab her by scruff of her shirt. Look at her name badge.

“Listen, Kimberly.
I don’t know about Mike here, because I just met him, but I didn’t want my
picture taken. I think you should delete it.”

She indignantly
puffs up all eighty-seven pounds of herself, half of which must be her fluffy,
blonde poodle hair.

“I can’t do that,
ma’am .
It’s against policy. Sorry. Please remove your hands
from me, or I’ll be forced to call security.”

I drop my hold,
sigh and watch her skip away. I can’t chance a brush with security, so I have
to let the little snot go.
When I turn around, Mike and the
bartender both just shrug.

“Eh, what can you
do?” says Mike. “They’re like those annoying birds that dive bomb you whenever
you get too near their nest. It’s the first day. Just hunker down and ignore
them. They eventually go away.”

He gets up to
leave and I’m relieved. He’s about to disappear into the crowd outside when the
massive bartender steps in front of him.

“Give the lady
back her phone,” he demands in his deep rumble.

“Dude, I don’t
know what you’re talking about. Take it easy!”

I see sweat break
out on Mike’s forehead as the bartender leans in and bellows in his face.

“Now!
Before I turn you in.
Or worse, tell Kimberly you’d
love an entire photo shoot and are a big tipper.”

Mike winces, but
quickly scurries back to me. Without a word, he tosses me the phone he lifted
from my pocket earlier and retreats back toward the door again. As he sprints
out, the bartender yells at him that he better not see his face in here again.

“Sorry, ma’am,” says
the bartender, who returns to straightening up his glasses and bottles.
“There’s always one bad apple on every cruise, but don’t let him spoil your
trip.”

“Thank you! I
don’t know what to say.” And, I don’t. I’m speechless. This whole day has been
crazy. My head is spinning.

“No problem. Oh,
don’t worry about him bothering you the rest of the weekend, either. You know
what he looks like.”

“If I didn’t
remember, I have photo evidence now,” I giggle. I can’t help it.

He smiles, and
wipes out a glass as I sip on my drink. Then, he laughs.

“That idiot
probably didn’t even realize he hadn’t picked a wallet until it was too late to
turn back. That phone isn’t worth crap. Uh, no insult meant by that, ma’am.”

“None
taken.”

I wish I had
thought to grab my wallet as I ran out this morning. It would come more in
handy to me than this cell. I haven’t had a signal for a while now, ever since
we got a ways out from shore. I guess we’re into international waters.

“Anyway miss, how
about a paid drink?
On the house.
To
apologize.
Soda or alcohol?”

I smile, thankful
for a last one before a diet of water, fruit punch and tea, which, according to
the sign on the wall, are the only free beverages on board.

I spend the rest
of the morning eating way too much rum cake, then reading a book I find in the
ship’s library. It is a neat little room with a giant window that overlooks the
promenade. Thick, heavy green curtains cover the view of the crowds below,
unless you care to part them to people watch. I don’t.

No one else visits
the library while I’m there, not even to use the business center equipment,
which is fine by me. I guess everyone is too busy doing more exciting stuff and
exploring the massive ship.

I’m going to have
to remember this space for later, when I will need a private place to sleep.
I’m also going to have to check out the lounges the wall map says are deeper in
the hull. I’m sure there must be an empty one down there somewhere to spend the
night.

What I find out
that afternoon, as I stroll around outside, is that there is no need to sleep
at night. On every deck, chairs are already filled with passed-out drunks or
travel-weary people napping, especially by the main pool. I decide I should get
rest now, while I can, because it might look weird if I were caught sleeping
out here once night falls. According to what I’ve heard, lots of things on a
ship are open in the wee hours, so I can probably spend the next few nights at
a bar or something if I can’t find a quiet place to land. For now, I find a
shady perch and settle in. It takes no time to clock out.

…

“You sure are
getting sun burned.”

“What?”

I open my eyes and
gingerly touch my forehead, which feels like it is on fire. In fact, my whole
face is ablaze and itchy.

Then, I focus on
the white-haired lady who is holding an equally white, long-haired Chihuahua.
Both are immaculately groomed and wearing what looks
like
diamonds around their necks. Their matching blue eyes stare down at me.