Stranded (22 page)

“I love it,” Kendall said softly, and they kissed gently, languidly.

“Do you want to finish unpacking while I run to the store and find something for us to eat?” Johnny asked. Kendall agreed, and Johnny grabbed his keys and left the apartment, but only after snagging another kiss.

Kendall carried the last of the bags into the bedroom and began the unpacking. His phone rang just after he started, and he almost let it go to voice mail, but peeked at the display and grabbed it just before it shifted. “Hey, Sal,” he said brightly. “What have you got for me?”

“Your pick of shows, if you want them,” Sal told him. “It seems being gone for a few months has increased your value.”

“Go ahead and send the offers over, but I’m not sure what I want to do right now. The filming was grueling. More than any show I’ve ever done, and there was a bit of an incident.” He told Sal what happened in the desert.

“Was it that bad?” Sal asked.

“I’m not being dramatic. I wouldn’t have made it through another day if Johnny and Lyman hadn’t rescued me. So yeah, it was that bad. No one ever figured out who the stalker was, but afterwards the gifts stopped, and I’m very grateful. I hope whoever it was stays the hell away from me.” Kendall shivered at the thought and sat down on the edge of the bed. Then he stood up and checked that the doors were locked. He wished Johnny were there.

“Okay, I’ll send the offers over,” Sal said a bit softly. “I’ll talk to you real soon.”

“Don’t you dare hang up until Johnny gets home,” Kendall said, nearly panicking. He hadn’t spent much time alone since the incident. He hadn’t realized it, but Johnny had been there almost constantly.

“Kendall, of course I’ll stay on the line,” Sal said, and he heard papers shuffling in the background. “Is it still that difficult?” Sal asked in this rather fatherly way he had sometimes.

“Sal,” Kendall whispered, beginning to shake like a leaf, “I was knocked out and handcuffed inside a car in the desert. It took more than two days for them to find me.” Kendall gasped for breath, and it took a concerted effort on his part to keep the panic from completely taking over. “You read the script they sent me. That’s almost exactly what happened. I thought I was going to go out of my mind. In fact, I probably did.” Kendall took a deep breath and listened for Johnny. God, Kendall hoped he got back soon. “When they found me I could barely walk, and Johnny had to carry me to the truck.” Then the tears came, and Kendall couldn’t stop them. “Sal, I wet myself, and worse, I think.” He tried to stop crying, but all that came out were gasps and sniffles. “I licked the car windows so I could get water. That’s all I had for two days.” Kendall gasped and finally caught a breath. “I licked the windows, Sal!”

“It’s okay, my boy,” Sal said gently. “It’s over, and you’re home with Johnny. Nothing is going to happen here.”

“I know that. I know I’m fine and that I’m safe. But it doesn’t feel like it. I wake up almost every night thinking I’m back in that damned car. Sometimes it’s just for a few seconds, but it happens night after night.” Kendall took a deep breath, then let it out very slowly before taking another. He had to calm down. “To make matters worse, after all that, I had to get back into the fucking movie car and shoot almost identical scenes. I don’t know how I did it.”

“You did it because you’re strong and because you’re damned good at what you do,” Sal told him calmly, and Kendall felt some of that calm come through to him. “I’ve been around actors all my life. My folks were in vaudeville and then they ran a small theater once they retired. I know actors, and you got through it because you had to and because you compartmentalized what happened and what you needed to do. It’s what we do to keep ourselves sane when performing difficult parts. Now that you’re home, those compartments are breaking down, and believe it or not, that’s a good thing. It means you’re dealing with it.”

“I know,” Kendall said. He just hated that it was happening now and Johnny wasn’t here to help him. “They don’t know who did that to me, Sal. The police weren’t helpful when I went missing, and when they found me, Johnny and Lyman were just interested in getting me back safe.”

“They didn’t call the police?” Sal asked, horrified.

“We did, but by then there wasn’t much for them to find,” Kendall explained. “So this freak is still out there somewhere.” And he was now afraid to be alone.

“It’s going to be all right,” Sal said gently. “It isn’t likely they’ll go to New York, but I can help you with security if you need it. I’ve helped arrange this sort of thing before. You remember that incident with Hugh Jackman a few years ago….” Sal didn’t need to go into details. “I helped with that situation.”

“Can I have Johnny call you? He’s been handling that part of things,” Kendall said.

“Of course,” Sal answered. “I’ll have the copies of those books and music sent over to you today. Look them over and see if anything catches your fancy.”

Kendall heard noise in the hallway and he stilled. Keys sounded in the lock, and Kendall peered through the peephole before opening the door. “Johnny’s here,” he said with relief. “Thanks, Sal.”

“No problem, and let me know what you’d like to do.” Sal hung up, and Kendall put the phone on the counter and practically launched himself at Johnny, who’d just managed to get the groceries set down.

“You’re shaking,” Johnny said as he reached around to close the door, and then he held Kendall tight. “Did something happen?” Kendall shook his head. “You’re okay.”

“I was alone, and Sal stayed on the phone until you came home.” Kendall rested his head against Johnny’s chest. “What the hell am I going to do? I’m afraid to be alone, and the thought of being on a stage in front of a crowd scares the shit out of me. What if he’s in the audience?” Kendall shook again, and Johnny held him tighter.

“Just relax as best you can. You don’t have to go back to work until you’re ready. Give yourself some time.” Johnny soothed him and lightly stroked Kendall’s hair. Some of the tension eased. “You love the theater way too much to let some stalker take that away from you.” Kendall lifted his gaze. “You can’t let that happen, ever. Part of you will die, and I could never bear to see that.”

“I feel like part of me has already died,” Kendall admitted.

“No, it hasn’t. Part of you is exhausted, scared, and nervous, but it hasn’t died. You need to give yourself time. Read whatever Sal is going to send over and don’t let anyone pressure you into anything.”

Kendall nodded. “Would you call him? He said he could help with security or something.”

“He seems to be able to do everything,” Johnny quipped.

“The man’s older than dirt. He’s seen everything and probably done everything. That’s part of why I love him,” Kendall said with a sigh.

“Do you know what I think will help?” Johnny didn’t wait for an answer. “Doing normal things, like going for coffee, visiting your family. Maybe find a theater to haunt, and seeing familiar places and faces. This is New York, our home, where we have a full life together. So let’s reconnect with that.”

“But I don’t want to go out alone, at least not yet.”

“Then I’ll go with you. I’ll bring my laptop. You and Gina can chat until you’re hoarse, and I’ll work.” Johnny smiled and instantly disarmed all of Kendall’s arguments. “So call your mother and arrange to go out for a visit. Call friends and we’ll meet them for coffee. Do what you’d normally do.” Johnny got a wicked look in his eyes. “Call and get tickets for a show you’d like to see. We’ll go to the theater together. We haven’t done that in a long time.”

That was true. When Kendall was performing, he never got the chance to see anything. “You’re sure?” he asked with more excitement than he thought possible under the circumstances. “Let me call a friend. Maybe I can get tickets to
Book of Mormon
. I’ve wanted to see that for years.” Kendall hugged Johnny and then grabbed his phone. He called a contact about tickets, who said he’d call him back. Then he called his mother, and they were both commanded to come out the following weekend.

“It’s lovely out here right now, so pack your suitcase and stay a few days,” his mother had said. “I never get to see you for very long, so I intend to take advantage.” He wouldn’t say no to a weekend in the Hamptons. He then called friends and set up afternoons for coffee and conversation. Kendall even got Johnny to call some of his friends—equal time, or punishment, as the case might be. By the time he was done, his theater contact had called back and said there would be tickets waiting for them at the box office the following night.

“You’re going to be fine,” Johnny reassured him once Kendall hung up the phone.

“I think you’re right,” Kendall agreed with what he hoped was more sincerity than he felt. Johnny was being so supportive, and he felt like such a wet blanket. But Johnny was right—getting to a normal routine would help, as long as Johnny was there with him.

“Good,” Johnny said and kissed him lightly. “Let me make some dinner, and you can finish unpacking.” Kendall sighed softly. “You didn’t think I was going to let you get out of that little task, did you?”

Kendall reluctantly let go of Johnny and returned to the bedroom. He got his suitcases unpacked, put the dirty clothes in the laundry, and put away his clean clothes. “We should think about hiring a valet,” Kendall called from the bedroom.

“Either that or a maid,” Johnny called back, and Kendall jumped as pans clattered to the floor in the other room. “Maybe just a larger apartment,” Johnny added.

Kendall closed the suitcase and slid it under the bed. “You know, we could look for a house,” he called, but he didn’t hear a response. Kendall stepped back from the bed and peered out into the other room. Johnny stood still. “Did you hear me?”

“You’d move outside the city?” Johnny asked softly.

“Yeah. I think so. We could look for a house on Long Island or in New Jersey. Someplace within commute distance.”

“You realize you’d be coming home after the curtain most nights,” Johnny said and then shook his head. “I don’t think that’s practical.”

“Okay,” Kendall said softly. “But maybe we could look at buying a bigger apartment. A place of our own.”

Johnny set down the knife he was holding. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

“So how much do you think we can afford?” Kendall asked as he went back to work.

“Honey,” Johnny said from behind him, and Kendall started again. “We have a lot of money.” Johnny sat on the edge of the bed and patted the mattress next to him. “You remember how we talked early on about how both of our careers could be hot one day and ice cold the next?”

“Yeah,” Kendall said.

“Well, we’ve been hot for years. Your career has been a steady climb, and, well, I figured the books would cool off, but they haven’t. The thing is, we haven’t spent a lot of it,” Johnny told him. Kendall had been happy to let Johnny manage the money. He’d never had a good head for it, so they’d set up an allowance system for both of them years ago, and he’d always lived within it. The rest went to savings and investments. Rent for their place was still reasonable even if some of the rent control had started to expire.

“What are you saying?”

“With our investments and things, we have millions. I’m not saying we should spend it all on an apartment, but we can afford a mortgage.” Johnny sighed. “But I think before we make any decisions, you need to find out what you want to do in the long term. Once your movie comes out, you’re going to be in demand and Hollywood is going to come calling again. Do you want to stay in the city or work out there? Do you want to do both? If you do, then we could keep the apartment here and buy a house in LA.”

“Johnny, I can’t…,” Kendall said as the walls threatened to close in.

“You don’t have to make any decisions, not right away. See what offers come and decide what you want to do. There’s no rush, and I’ll be there the whole way.” Johnny held him tight, and Kendall huffed as he tried to let the stress slide away.

The door buzzer sounded, and Johnny got up. Kendall heard him answer it and then the door close. Johnny returned a few minutes later and returned to the bedroom, handing Kendall a thick package. “It’s from Sal.”

“I know,” Kendall whispered, making no move to open it.

“Like I said, take your time.” Johnny left the room and returned to the kitchen. Kendall set the package on his dresser and finished unpacking. He wasn’t ready to look at anything like that, not yet.

T
HE
following evening, Kendall was undeniably excited. “If you don’t stop pacing, I’m going to have to tie you down,” Johnny said and then grabbed him as he walked by the sofa. “You know, I could tie you down and have my way with you.” Kendall squirmed and tried to get away. “Hey, it’s me,” Johnny said in a whisper and began gently stroking Kendall’s back.

“Sorry,” Kendall said. “Sometimes I forget, and little things make me remember what happened. I know you were just playing, but for a second I was back there.”

“No, I’m the one who should be sorry,” Johnny told him. “Go on and get ready. I made dinner reservations, but I think we can show up early.” Johnny patted his butt. “I’ll be right behind you.”

Kendall walked to the bedroom, and Johnny closed the lid on his laptop. Kendall stripped out of his comfortable “lounge around the house” clothes and pulled out a pair of dress pants and a crisp shirt. Johnny joined him, and Kendall finished dressing and then watched Johnny. “Do you have any idea how handsome you are?” Kendall asked quietly and then stood up and adjusted Johnny’s collar.

“It’s why you love me. Because I’m cute,” Johnny said, giving him a jaunty smile.

“No. I love you because you’re you. I’m hot for your bod because you’re cute,” Kendall corrected with a wink. “You look great,” he said, stepping back a bit.

“So do you,” Johnny said with a grin and then looked over at the dresser. The unopened envelope still sat there. Then he returned his gaze to Kendall, and Kendall walked toward the bedroom door. “Are you going to look at them?”

“Eventually,” Kendall said with a shrug and then he headed for the door. He didn’t want to look at the envelope or think about being in front of a house full of people. He wasn’t sure he could ever do that again. What if that part of his life was over? That thought scared him almost as much.