Strangers with Benefits (Siren Publishing Classic) (40 page)

Oddly enough, he had taken the sex and transmuted into lovemaking, something she had never had before and she’d always assumed it was just plain old sex between people that had feelings for one another.

But she never, ever thought that it would be so… different. To be honest, the sex she had with Charles and the sex with Den were already diametrically opposite, but this? It was the difference between gentle night and blistering day, heat of the sun and illumination of moonlight, or even the difference between lukewarm water and the fiery burn of pure liquor.

The gentle affection she had for her ex was nothing like this. Den had taken every emotion she was certain she had felt before and made her realize that all were a tepid imitation of the real thing. The passion she felt with him was all encompassing and transmuted every aspect of her life into something more, deeper.

It was unbelievable that she could feel so much during the act. It was strangely not about pleasure and more about connection. More about emotion and less about the physical aspects than she had imagined.

It was like their bodies were a conduit that fed their energies back and forth, a never ending loop of tenderness that was only magnified and reflected back with each thrust of his hips. The burgeoning emotions were more than she was ready to handle, more than she thought she could handle.

If she wasn’t in love with him at that very moment, she would have fallen the rest of the way there before all was said and done.

Beautiful.

It was quite simply, beautiful.

She spent half of the time trying to hold back tears and failing miserably, while he was open enough to let his fall. The first tear splashed her face and met hers to roll down her cheek. She was so blurry from the dammed up water that she couldn’t see anything else.

Could she spend the rest of her life with this man?

Absolutely.

He was hot headed, hated to be fussed over and cursed like a sailor at times, but he was hers.

And she was his, whether she wanted to admit it or not.

When he rolled over and they began to talk about why she felt the need to ask for a break in the first place, she nuzzled into his side and wondered when she would finally forgive herself for being blind to the man in front of her.

Her body was so willing to trust, but her head had taken much longer to be convinced.

But he had shown her, just by being around that she was happier with him than without.

“So do you like me? Yes or no?” It was silly, it was childish… and perfect.

Sidonie couldn’t stop herself from giggling and made a little checkmark in the air. “Yes, I like you.”

Her heart sped up. She knew what came next. “Do you love me? Yes or no?”

She looked at him and could see how open he was to being vulnerable. That realization made her feel even more ashamed of her fears from before. Sidonie had some issues, but not a one was good enough to act the way she had.

Then she gave him a peck on the cheek and her thoughts grew serious. She could see how he took a deep breath as if steeling himself against the worst possibility.

She licked the tip of her finger and made a second checkmark in the air.

Sidonie looked Den in the eyes and smiled. “Yes. I love you.” It was the truth.

She hadn’t let anyone this close to her after the breakup of her marriage and almost let a good man get away with her own pride and selfishness. The least she could do was be woman enough to admit her love first.

Hopefully, he would be ready to reciprocate.

Den looked away for a moment and she wondered if he maybe wasn’t there yet. Maybe he needed more time to admit his feelings were in that place. But he had made a real effort and she wouldn’t discount it.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to…” She trailed off when he looked back at her.

He leaned over and their foreheads met. A single glance into his eyes spoke for him as she watched the strongest man she knew, cry. The tears were silent, but fell freely before he spoke. “I love you too, Sidonie. So much that I didn’t even think feeling this way was possible.”

Every tear she held back before fell without restraint as she tucked her head onto his shoulder. They both held one another until later, when she woke to find that they had fallen asleep.

Or at least she had. Den just stared at her in an almost eerie fashion, as if he didn’t want to blink or she might disappear.

“I love you,” she said and blinked as she rubbed at her sticky eyelids.

“Love you, too, woman. First relationship request, you have to tell me every single day. Verbal is fine, but extra brownie points if you write it down.” He winked.

“Sounds like a hefty job and a lot of work. Not to mention that I have no idea what would be in it for me if I comply.”

“Well, if you play your cards right, as much cock as you can take daily and my undying love. You’re the only woman that can do this job though, so I suggest we practice. Seems like you might be a bit rusty.”

She giggled worse than a group of teenage girls. “Okay, how does that work?”

“We can play a game.”

What game were they going to play that would help with that? “Umm… what game is that?”

“Poker.” He winked.

She thought about it. “Not too good at that game.”

“Well, you’ll get a lot of practice then.” She sat up and winced as her arm had fallen asleep harder than she did.

“How about a shower first, then we can have this game of poker and a snack.” She winked.

Den’s belly growled, funny thing as they had just eaten a few hours ago, but she knew how he got down. “All right. Get up, woman.”

Sidonie narrowed her eyes at him and sat up. He tried to push himself up, but she laughed as he almost fell off of the sofa instead of sitting up.

“Stop laughing at me and help, woman.”

“Neanderthal.” She chuckled, but stuck an arm out and helped him to arrange himself until he was able to maneuver upright.

“You make that feel like a compliment.” He winked and rubbed a hand over his tangled curls.

“Your ego is so big, you’d take anything as a compliment.”

“How so?” he asked as he stretched his limbs and sighed contentedly.

She struggled to keep her expression straight as she responded. “You have a donkey dick.”

He fell back and laughed so hard his face changed colors twice before he stopped. “I’m not supposed to take that as a compliment?” He wiped a tear from one eye.

“No.” There was no way that she could remain serious, he was too much.

“Where the hell do you get some of this stuff lady?”

“You.” She scrunched her nose up and rolled her eyes.

He rubbed one hand over the front of his pants. “I got your donkey dick right here. You asking for a serving?”

Sidonie winked. “No, but we can table it for later.”

They did. After she stripped off her halfway ruined gown, she wondered if the dry cleaner would know what the stains were.

Maybe she should just throw it out.

It would be terribly embarrassing to bring her gown to the little Asian guy and have him look at the stained, wrinkled mess that was left of the dress. Not to mention, there was a rip at the keyhole that would need fixing. There was no way that he would be ignorant as to why the dress was in that condition in the first place.

All of her concerns about the gown vanished when they sat in the steaming water and they enjoyed the feeling of
feeling
.

By the time they left the water, she was a half-ass prune and Den’s waterlogged flesh was little better, but she smoothed some of her cocoa butter on his skin and left him reclining in bed. She trotted off to forage for snacks and to grab the cards so they could try their hand at a game of poker.

Once she grabbed a tray laden with crackers, cheese, and some fruit along with a couple of cold beers, she came back to the bedroom.

Den had removed his sling, and she planned to say something about it, but the way he was sprawled in bed made her forget to bless him out.

He was amazing. His frame was a little fuller and the few pounds more had only made him even more impressive to behold than before.

When he licked his lower lip, she knew he took stock of her hungry expression as she could feel her mouth gape open and had to remind herself not to drool.

“Like what you see, woman?”

“Hell yeah, McTavish.”

“Put the tray down and come get it.”

The tray clattered to the table, she barely made certain it was upright before she straddled his knees and dropped the robe from her shoulders.

“Damn, woman, you take my fuckin’ breath away.”

“Ditto, McTavish.”

Once wrapped her fingers around him and started to lower onto his cock, Den grabbed her hip with one hand and snatched her down.

“Fuck!” she cried out.

“Nope. I have a cheer for you.” He punted upward and back down again. “I love you.”

“Me too, baby, me too.”

Den rolled his eyes. “You have one job, Sidonie. I love you. Say it.”

“I love you!” She moaned into the air. Her reward for a job well done was a quick punt of his hips that jabbed her in all of the right places.

He grinned and she rocked over him, one thrust led into another until her avowals were a garbled monk’s chant.

Jeez, it was so intense this way, skin to skin, a slip and slide of sexes, secretions and sweat that was painfully slow to culminate, yet too emotional to go any faster.

She sighed and fell over him, her body too worn out to continue, but she was too greedy to flat out stop rocking into his meaty pillar altogether. “Loveyou… loveyou… loveyou.”

He buried his face in her hair and took a deep whiff before he sighed. “Oh, god woman, love you, too.”

“Gonna come, baby.” She gasped as he swelled, overripe within her.

“S’okay, gonna do it again later.” He winked and met her mouth for a hungry clash of lips that sucked all of the will out of her body to fight against the orgasm that nipped her heels.

When she came the words fell out automatically into the nape of his neck. “Oh, love you so much!”

“Sidonie, baby…” He didn’t even have to say it.

She felt it, his love so tangible she could taste it on his skin, feel it in the wealth of slick semen he’d injected her full with, even the scent of their lovemaking was spiced with it.

The poker game was long forgotten, but the food was not as they ate it from the comforts of his bed just awhile later.

Den groaned. “You know what, Sidonie?”

“What?” She grinned at him as she ate a cracker with some slightly warm cheese on it that she didn’t bother to identify before she made a sandwich and tossed the bit into her mouth.

“I never imagined that I would have to kick a woman out for eating crackers in my bed.”

“What?” she muttered, but looked down and realized he’d made a pretty poor tablecloth and there were odd crumbs all around him.

Her messy behind even had gotten them in his hair.

They climbed out and re-made the bed with a crumb free set of sheets, while he flicked a hand through his hair and showered the carpet with more of the flotsam.

* * * *

Six months later…

Sidonie was in love. The distracted sort of love that left her with half a brain and no common sense. The head over heels kind, where people had to remind her that she was daydreaming when she was supposed to be doing other things.

Like working.

Or driving.

Or to move forward while standing in line.

She couldn’t help it.

It seemed as if every day with Den was better than the last one. They still lived apart because she had to appear moral when it came to her babies. She might not be old fashioned enough to wait for marriage to sleep with Den, but that didn’t mean they had to behave badly in front of her children with it, either.

It would be bad enough if they ever did marry and the kids happened to hear them in the act. But at least then she wouldn’t feel as ashamed about it.

They did get a trial run when the twins were off with their father for summer vacation. Charles had six weeks with them and she made the occasional trip up to see them while they were away. But for the most part, it was just the two of them, ensconced at Den’s love nest and her home away from home and it was perfect.

It was nothing more than the same thing she had done before, but with him it was different. When she took his uniforms to the dry cleaners, he kissed her until her panties fell off.

Heck, if she picked them up? She couldn’t walk.

When he came home from a long night she was there to help him strip and run a bubble bath. After he was sated, but starving, she was there to offer him a plate of food that he always thanked her for.

He did have some bad habits, like the fact that he hated to put away his laundry. He had no problem washing the clothes and he was great at it, would even fold them. But for some reason, the act of placing them away was too much for him.