Strings (26 page)

I
tsk
into the mic. “I guess Shades
thinks he can rock the bass better than me.”

He nods to Jinx’s new beat.

I face the crowd. “What do you think? Maybe
we need to have a Rock Off.”

“
Rock off, rock off, rock
off!” the people sing.

“
Okay. Ladies first.” I
unzip my skirt and let the plaid fall around my feet. I kick the
fabric aside, turn around, bare ass hanging out of my ugly red,
white, and blue bikini bottom, and launch into a swirl of
funk.

Pandemonium unleashes.

Shades’s grin widens. Toombs and Jinx keep
the tune rolling while I initiate a bass duel with Shades. We face
each other, a few feet apart and stare. We don’t talk. I let the
music speak for me.

I love you. You rock my fucking world. This
is the best day of my life.

After I finish note
fishing to a huge round of applause, it’s his turn. All I can think
while he hits that bass with his magical fingers is, “That’s my guy
right there. The girls scream for him, the dudes want to be him,
but I own him. Shades is
mine
.”

More applause and cheers follow his
improv.

I flash him my biggest smile, then turn to
the audience. “So, who wins?”

Indecipherable screams.

“
How about we call it a
draw?”

Shades blows me a kiss and winks as he walks
away.

Appreciative whistles pierce the atmosphere
as the four of us wind the song down to its conclusion. Jinx
crashes her cymbal, and cheers erupt like a fucking riot.

I lift my arm in a victorious pose. I set my
bass on its stand and wait for the noise level to drop a little.
“Thank you so much for the warm welcome. We had to scrape some
songs together at the last minute for you. Hope you don’t mind a
few covers.”

With that, we rip into Hendrix, followed by
a couple of Zeppelin tunes. When we wrap those up, it’s time for
“Strings.” This one has a rock anthem feel. It’s my favorite of the
ones we wrote together because I get to sing a duet with Shades. We
recycled the notes from the song I wrote on the napkin at BAR-k and
added in some hooks.

Pull my strings

Make me sing

Tie me in knots

You’re all I’ve got

No matter what I do

I’m stuck with you

Bound to your heart by unbreakable
strings

When I’m with you, my soul has wings

Whichever way the pendulum swings

Let’s see what a life together brings

Man, those words are harder than a dry turd
in the sun to sing, knowing our future ends with this show, but I
give it my best. And Shades? His eyes never leave mine through the
entire tune. Our voices match in the same perfect harmony our
bodies do when we make love. I had no idea being on stage with him
would be so goddamn moving. So powerful. The combination of music
and love takes me to a spiritual plane that exists beyond the
limits of imagination.

I’m blown away.

Backed up by Toombs’s haunting guitar and
Jinx’s steady beat, I have a hard time keeping it together. The
music, the lyrics, and the longing for something bigger hold my
heart captive.

I heave a sigh of relief when “Strings”
ends. I was this close to bursting into tears. Ensuing whistles and
cheers tell me the fans love the song as much as I do.

Thankfully, next up is a Killer Dixon tune
about banging chicks. I give the mic over to Shades, pick up my
bass, and stretch my fingers over the frets.

A guitar roars to life, cutting us off. I
turn around. It’s not Toombs. He shrugs. All four of us look left
and right as the guitar hacks up the sound waves into bite-sized
chunks of awesome.

A familiar face struts on to the stage, axe
in hand, strumming wildly. Rax steps up to my abandoned mic.

“
You can’t keep a good Rax
down,” he shouts and pumps a fist into the air.

A huge grin spreads across Toombs’s face,
and Shades’s jaw drops.

Not surprisingly, the audience erupts in an
explosion of screams. Jillian claps from the side of the stage. She
winks at me.

That crazy motherfucker. Well, this changes
things. But I’m not letting a little thing like Rax Wrathbone
upstage me on my last night on this tour.

I throw an arm around his shoulder. “Nice of
you to join us, Rax. We’ve been working on a special song for you.”
I toss glances to the band members and mouth the word, “Lola.” All
three signal they get the message.

I look back at Rax. “Feel free to jump in
and join us if you like.” And we dive into the ridiculous tune we
made up about his would-be stripper girlfriend. He laughs his way
through the song, riding the improvisation wave with pompous highs
and thundering lows. As in real life, Toombs follows wherever Rax
goes.

Those two are like brothers, but even
closer.

I swing around and stand in front of Jinx’s
kit. She and I are like sisters.

And Shades and me? We’re lovers, bandmates,
and yes, friends.

These people are my family.

I have big love for all of them. Even Rax
and Toombs.

We put a lid on “Lola,” and the fans clamor
and shout for more. I’m having so much fun. I don’t want this night
to end. I hold on to it for as long as I can.

When we end our set with a mash-up homage to
rock chicks Joan Jett, Heart, and Janis Joplin, I take in the scene
one more time before I have to ride into the sunset.

Men and women of every size, shape, color,
and age bounce on the floor at my feet. Some mosh, others hold up
lights from their cell phones. People dance, scream, flounder, and
laugh.

They are the reason I play music. They’re my
motivation for getting out of bed in the morning. They’re why I
don’t get a respectable job that pays decent money. I don’t want to
be respectable or rich. I want to rock. I want to sing my heart out
to fans every night.

I want to be this chick—the one I am right
now—for the rest of my life.

As the last drum rolls and the cymbal crash
signals the final downbeat of both our song and our short-lived
career as a chicks-and-dicks fusion group, I’m thankful to have had
the opportunity to play with these amazing dudes.

Heart in my throat, I smile at Shades and
salute him.

“
Thank you for the
pleasure of your company, Jacksonville. Good night!” I yell into
the mic. I rush from the stage before I lose my shit. Concern
etched in deep lines around his eyes, Shades watches me rush
past.

Jillian snatches me in her
arms before I can get away. The bitch
hugs
me.

My first instinct is to push her off because
any kind of affection from her is so unexpected. But I let her
squeeze me for a few seconds. The shock holds my tears at bay.

“
What got into you?” I say
when she lets go.

And she’s grinning too. What the fuck? “You
did me right, that’s what got into me. That was fucking amazing,
Letty.”

A frown sneaks across my face against my
will. I try to transpose it into a smile, but my cheek muscles are
having some trouble remaining steady. Trapped between Jillian and
the band exiting the stage, I’m stuck.

Heat warms my back, a sweaty head falls to
my shoulder, and a pair of big hands drape around my waist. “Have I
ever told you how much I love your voice?” Shades says.

“
No.”

“
And your bass
playing.”

“
No.”

“
And your ass cheeks.” He
pinches one.

“
Maybe
indirectly.”

“
You gonna hog her all for
yourself, asshole?” Rax steps around front and center, wedging
between Jillian and me.

“
Yeah. I decided I’m not
into sharing.” Shades tightens his grip on me. I lean into him and
absorb the warmth.

Rax rakes his gaze down my front to the
thong I just realized I’m still wearing. “Well, if you ever change
your mind, Squirt…”

“
You’re such a douche,
Rax.”

“
Glad you’re still
kicking, man.” Toombs reaches between us and smacks Rax’s open
hand. Shades joins in the macho display.

“
You know me,” Rax brags.
“I’d never let dumb shit like alcohol poisoning get in the way of a
gig.”

“
If you want me to be your
manager, you’ll never binge drink like that again, you stupid
twat,” Jillian says.

I know Jillian meant nothing by the comment,
but it slices my guts wide open. She’ll stay with the guys on tour.
Which means even if Jinx and I find a replacement for Kate, we’ll
be without a manager. Shit, I hadn’t even thought about what else
would be affected by the band’s breakup.

“
I won’t be drinking
anything for a while.” Rax rubs his stomach. “But I do want to go
back to the strip club and see if Lola’s still there. That chick
was so fucking hot. I’d love to break her heart.”

Great. So, I guess it’s back to business as
usual for the guys. Like Jinx and I never happened. Whatever.

I snag my drummer’s eye and wave her over
from the corner. Doused in a sheen of sweat, Jinx shyly joins me.
“You outdid yourself tonight,” I tell her. “I’m proud to know you,
wild pixie.”

“
Same here.” With a forced
grin, she watches the interactions among the guys. I share her
jealous longing. Wishing for things that can’t be.

Standing in the aftermath of achieving my
dreams only to have them returned for being too big, I turn to
Shades. “I’m gonna help Jinx load her drums, and then we’ll head
back to the bus. You guys go off and have fun. I’ll catch you
later.”

“
I’m not going anywhere
without you, pussycat.”

“
You have celebrating to
do. Go on. I’ll be there when you’re done.” Maybe.

“
Can I have a word with
you, Jillian?” The guy Jillian spoke with before the show joins the
circle. He flashes a curt smile to the rest of us.

Jillian straightens. “Absolutely. Nobody
leave.” She points at me. “I’ll be right back.”

Rax and Toombs are having a “reunited”
moment. I feel awkward standing here while they talk about what
happened at the hospital and how Rax’s gonna change his ways so
there won’t be any more setbacks on the tour. I’m pretty sure Jinx
is as uncomfortable as I am.

And Shades? He just stares at me. I can’t
tell what’s on his mind. Is he sad that I’m leaving? He told me he
loved me. You’d think he’d be upset if that were the case. Maybe
he’s plotting his next female takeover. Done with me, so he can
move on to someone new.

Well, if I have to, I can move on too. I
don’t need him or anyone else to validate me as a musician or a
woman. I’m Letty Dillinger with or without him. There are plenty of
other dudes out there to bang. I can switch off my pesky emotional
circuitry in the blink of an eye and forget I ever met Shades.

I
can
.

I just don’t want to.

“
What are you looking at?”
I’m afraid to ask.

He licks his lips. “The hottest piece of ass
I’ve ever had.”

Jinx arches a brow and slips into the
shadows by the wall.

The tension between us loosens, along with
the constriction in my bronchial passageways. “You say the nicest
things.”

He pulls me into a hug and rests his cheek
on the top of my head. “Your ass is amazing, but my favorite part
is your voice. It’s raspy and kinda deep. Like aged whiskey and
battery acid splattered across a wall of graffiti. So fucking sexy,
Letty.”

I laugh. Maybe blush a little.

His hard stare pins me like a bug in a
collection. “It’s gonna take you places.”

“
It’s taking me away from
you.” Well, not my voice per se, but my inability to use it with
his band in the vicinity. Ah, shit, I shouldn’t bring him down with
reality after this awesome gig.

“
You and I sang a duet
about things that tie us together.” He presses a hand to my chest.
At first I assume he’s feeling me up through the bikini top, but
then I realize he’s not after a tit grope. He’s going for my heart.
“We got something that binds us, no matter where we are. Together
or apart, close or far.”

Why’d he have to go and say that?

Jillian returns and gestures to the guy
behind her. “This is Rick Johnson. He’s an executive at Megaphonia
Music & Entertainment in Hollywood.” Her eyes flash big green
dollar signs.

What the—

“
I gotta tell you, I loved
what you did on stage tonight.” Johnson looks at each one of us in
turn. “I’d like to talk to you about your future in
music.”

Slap My Bare Ass and Call
Me Sassy

It takes me a couple minutes to peel my
tongue off the floor and roll it back into my mouth, but eventually
I do. Jinx curls into my arms, drumsticks and all. I hug her as she
leaks tears down my star-spangled boobs, which are already streaked
with a few wet stripes of my own. Seems I have a problem keeping my
emotions on a leash too. Especially when Shades’s tattoos cover my
bare belly from behind, and his stubble grates my cheek.

Rax joins us from the side. And fuck me,
Toombs squeezes awkwardly into our huddle, though I’m pretty sure
he’s just using it as an excuse to goose Jinx.

When Jillian piles in, shit gets real. A
wild hair tickles my fancy. I motion for the guys to help me. We
lift our squealing, writhing bitch manager above our heads while
Mr. Record Executive looks on with a guarded smile.