Stripped (10 page)

“I
don’t know. Maybe because Jake’s the first guy in a long time who seems to love
me? I mean really, truly loves me. And I don’t want to hurt him.”

Leslie
sat forward. “You feel guilty because you love him back, don’t you?”

There
it was. Did I? I didn’t know. I dropped my head onto the desk.

“Or…do
you love Chase?”

Without
lifting my head, I answered. “I don’t know. Chase asked me to live with him at
the ranch though.”

I
heard Leslie exhale. “No? Really? Holy shit. When it rains it pours. Did he
tell you he loves you, as well?”

I
looked up from the desk. “No. That he did not.”

“Well,
thank God for small favors, right?” Leslie smiled. I said nothing.

Her
smile immediately faded. “Oh, no. Him too? You love both of them, don’t you.” It
wasn’t a question; it was a statement.

“Leslie,
right now I’m too tired to even know my middle name. Ask me on a different day,
after I’ve had some sleep and maybe I’ll be able to make sense of it all.” I
dropped my head back onto the desk with a thud.

It
wasn’t just my mind that was exhausted from running through the countless
thoughts that refused to let me rest. Every scenario imaginable, every choice,
every ending; every string of thought played out like a line of paper dolls, whispering
through the air, pulled by invisible strings in an unstoppable charade of
shadowy figures.  These players in my life, the two men that now dominated
much more than my body, they controlled my every thought… I couldn’t run from
them. I had to make sense of all that I was feeling once and for all.

Even
if it meant finally losing all control and surrendering my heart.

***

Dinner
with Chase; date at the club. My mind, as usual, was overwhelmed with what to
wear. On Thursday night, I dug out the box of clothing Jake had sent over for
our first time at Chase’s club. I didn’t want to wear the same outfit; for one,
I’d have felt ridiculous having dinner in a leather corset and crotch-length
zip-back leather skirt. Besides, the lace-patterned stockings never made it
back home with me.

I
dumped the box out on my bed. The cat sniffed cautiously at the strange
collection of man-made fibers and then curled up on top of a pair of leather
pants I’d discarded. After much rummaging and muttering, I found a black dress,
long, with a slit up the side that ended somewhere near my waist. The sleeves
were loose and flowing, but the bodice and torso fit me like a glove.

Standing
in front of the mirror, with my highest heels on, I was actually pleased with
the look. The leg that was visible looked eight miles long. The only problem
was what to wear underneath. All my lingerie showed, except for one tiny black
thong hidden in the bottom of my lingerie drawer. That would have to do. Part
of me felt totally exposed, a good gust of wind and I’d have no secrets.

But a
bigger part of me liked that feeling. Daring is not a word usually found in my
vocabulary, but I really wanted to wear this dress. I wanted to wear it for
Chase.

It
would take me through dinner without feeling like I was in costume and it
wouldn’t look out of place at the club. I didn’t think Chase was going to strip
me down and tie me up again, even though the memory of him doing just that sent
a tingle down my spine. It seemed more like I’d be playing hostess to his host.

I
shook my head.
You’re thinking for other people, Abby. Just relax.

Chase’s
condo was in an upscale part of the city. Again, he’d given impeccable
directions and I arrived unscathed, but very early. I rang the buzzer, waited
and rang it again. There was a muffled curse on the other side of the door and
then Chase was there at the open door, shirtless and barefoot, in just jeans.
His hair was damp along the edges, a bit unruly, totally sexy.

“Abby,
sorry. I’m running late. Come in.” He held the door, ushering me inside,
reaching for my coat.

“One
of the fillies is due to foal any minute and she looked like she was going to
drop it today. But, as fillies are prone to do, she didn’t. I wanted to…” he stopped
in mid-sentence.

He
was holding my coat in his hands, forgotten, his eyes traveling over my body,
lingering on certain parts…cleavage, long legs, back to cleavage.

“You
wanted to? What did you want to do?” I took a step forward, my hand on his chest.
I could feel his heart thudding beneath my fingers.

“I
have no idea.” His voice was low, that honeyed-whiskey voice that drives me
wild. He pulled me against him, coat discarded on the floor. His lips found
mine, all single-minded passion. His hands were at my back, sliding down to cup
my ass. His fingers moved to the side of the dress with the slit. I felt a
hesitation in his kiss as his hand found the edge of the dress, moving beneath
to explore the naked skin of my leg, heading further inside, heading toward my
ass.

He
looked at me, one brow cocked. “Abby, you’re not wearing any panties.” His
smile was slow, sensuous.

“I’m
shocked.” He was looking at me as if I were the appetizer before a full course
meal.

“You?
Shocked? Never…and I am wearing some. See if you can find them.” I pulled him
back down to me, renewing our kiss. His hand continued exploring beneath the
dress, fingers skating over my skin, his fingers sliding into the cleft,
briefly snapping the elastic of the thong. I jumped.

“Ah…bingo.”
He smiled down at me. “You really are full of surprises, aren’t you?” He
attempted to kiss me again but I held him at arm’s length.

“Don’t
you have a club to get to? And dinner?” I pretended to pout, trying hard to
look put-upon and not as aroused as I really felt.

He
sighed dramatically. “Ah, yes, my lady.” He bowed, waving me toward the dining
room table.

“Just
let me finish getting dressed. I’ll be just a minute. Make yourself
comfortable. Drinks are over there…” he waved his hand at a bar in the corner
of the dining room before disappearing down the hall.

Chase’s
condo was a surprise. I’d expected a version of his ranch; warm woods, stone,
maybe brick. But this was all sleek gray walls, dark cherry-wood floors and
lots of deep blue fabric at the windows and as pillows on the cream colored
furniture. It all looked new and shiny. I remembered Chase saying he only was
here on the weekends, when he was at the club.

I
found a bottle of wine among the liquor, pouring myself a glass. The view from
the living room windows was beautiful, the setting sun casting long shadows,
the lights of the high-rises looking like stars set in the glass and steel
buildings.

Chase’s
reflection in the glass caught my eye. He was standing behind me, looking out
over my shoulder.

“As beautiful
as this is, I’d trade it any day for the view from the back porch.” His hands
were on my shoulders and I leaned back against him. He smelled clean and spicy;
I inhaled deeply.

“Come
on. Let’s eat. I am really making us run late. Stacy will open the club, but I
like to be there to greet some of the guests in person.”

He
led me to the dining room, holding out a chair. The table was some kind of
black stone.

“What
is this?” I ran my hand over the surface. It wasn’t marble, but not hewn stone
either.

“Industrial
concrete.” Chase set a big salad bowl on the table, brimming with tomatoes and
spring greens, peppers and slices of purple onion. He continued talking as he
moved back and forth between the kitchen and the table.

“The
previous owner had it made in place and it’s too big to get out the door.
Apparently that wasn’t well planned by the designer.”

Poached
salmon appeared next, along with a bowl of new potatoes. He pulled out a chair
and sat down.

“Here,
give me your plate. I hope you like salmon; it’s one thing I can make by
myself.”

“I
do. It smells delicious.” Chase served me a portion of salmon, adding potatoes
and salad, handing me back a heaping plate.

“So I
ended up decorating around the table. It was easier than trying to have it
demolished and removed.”

“It’s
very different from the ranch.” I bit into the salmon, done to perfection,
buttery and delicately seasoned with dill and lemon.

“It
is, but it suits me when I’m at the club. I like to keep the two parts of my
life a bit separate. I dress differently, this place is different. I don’t feel
quite as homesick for the ranch if there’s nothing here to really remind me of
it. It’s like having an office. It’s nice, you like it, but you wouldn’t want
to live there, at least not all the time. Still, it’s better than a hotel room.
And Rachel sometimes sends care packages of food from home.”

We
ate in silence for a time, enjoying the food.

“Chase,
can I ask you a question?” Something had been buzzing around in the back of my
mind.

“Sure,
darling. Always. Anything you want to know.”

“Do
you have a submissive now?” I took a drink of wine, amazed at myself.
Direct
and to the point tonight, aren’t we?

He
raised his eyebrows. “No, I don’t. I haven’t had one in, oh, maybe a year or
more.” He was quiet for a moment, his eyes faraway. It took him a minute to
come back from wherever that memory had taken him.

“Are
you interested in being my sub?” He looked at me over the rim of his wineglass.

I
hesitated just long enough to make Chase smile. But I shook my head. “No. I
want to stay with Jake. I wondered though, if you didn’t have one, why? Or, if
you did, where you had play scenes.”

“I
see. Jake’s still interested in being a Dom then? Good for him. I don’t have a
sub right now for a lot of reasons. For one, I don’t have time to devote to a
relationship.” He stood, gathering up the dinner plates, taking them to the
kitchen.

I had
the sense I’d crossed a line, but if I wanted to know what potential this
relationship had, I wanted to know it now.

He
came back to the table, pulling his chair around close to me, swinging one long
leg over the seat, straddling the back.

“The
rest of the story: I had a sub, someone I really cared about. But something
happened…and the relationship ended.” He took a drink from my wine glass.

He
swirled the pale liquid around in the glass. “You picked a nice vintage here. I
like this one. Fresh, but with a bit of bite in it.” He swallowed the rest.

“It’s
a lot like you, Abby. You’ve turned out to have quite a bit of bite in you as well.”
He stood, pushing the chair to the side.

He
pulled me up to him, his lips on mine, insistent and hard. Almost too hard. I
knew he wasn’t drunk but he was rough, holding my arms tightly. I responded to
his kiss, but struggled in his grasp. There was a sound of tearing fabric.

“Enough
Chase.” I pulled away, breathing hard. “Enough.”

Chase
was looking down at me, a strange mixture of emotions on his face, with guilt
eventually overshadowing the rest. He ran a hand through his hair, messing up
the thick strands.

“I’m
sorry, Abby. I’m not sure… I guess bringing up old memories isn’t that easy for
me. Let’s leave the rest of this conversation for a different time, okay?”

He
pulled me toward him. I stiffened, but he murmured some comforting noise
against my hair, one I suspected he used on recalcitrant fillies. I let him
hold me against his chest, his head resting against mine. We stood like that
for a long time, his hands gently rubbing my back, me listening to the steady
beat of his heart.

“We
really should go.” His voice was soft, the words spoken over my head. He held
me away from him.

“How
much damage did I do to the dress?” He turned me around. I peered over my
shoulder as he inspected the fabric.

“Here,
there’s a little tear at the back of the sleeve. It’s not noticeable. I don’t
think you’re going to lose the sleeve.” He turned me back to face him.

“Unless
I suspend you by your wrists, which I wasn’t planning to do. And if I did, I’d
undress you first anyway.” He kissed my forehead.

“I
really am sorry, Abby. Are we okay?”

I
nodded. I thought we were. Or at least I hoped we were.

***

The
club was open by the time we arrived. Chase took me in through a back door,
down a warren of narrow hallways and through the lounge area. The music from
the dance floor was already pounding through the wall and the lounge held a
smattering of couples and groups.

“Chase!
About time you show up.” A female voice boomed across the lounge from the
direction of Chase’s office. I expected to see a giantess, some flaming-haired Amazon
striding across the room. But the woman attached to the voice was a diminutive
blonde, barely five feet tall, if at all, with lively blue eyes set in a pixie
face.

Chase
leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Midnight Lace is due any minute and I wanted to
watch the birth…”