Stuck On You (18 page)

Laura nodded. “Maybe I understand that. But I know I’ve seen a whole lot worse than your temper while I’ve been here waiting tables. I also think that the fact that you feel that way might make you a pretty awesome dad. Parents . . . none of us are perfect. We lose our tempers. We wish we could run away a lot, but you and I both know how important family is and how you miss it when it’s gone.”

Whatever magic Gram and Willodean had, the power of positive expectations, Laura had it too. Maybe it came with motherhood. He’d felt stuck in the role of KT Masters for a while now. But she was right. His family, Gram, was his lifeline. Building something with Laura . . . the reward might be worth the risk. The idea that he could change was scary as hell. Confusing too, because this was the only time he’d ever backed down from scary.

Laura said, “I mean, having a baby is a huge responsibility and even when you try to do your best, you’re going to screw up. That’s just reality. I’m not sure I understood that until I was a girl looking down at this life that depended on me. And Holly could give you a nice, long, numbered list of all the times I’ve messed up in fourteen years.”

“She’s as good a list-maker as her mother?” KT asked.

Laura laughed. “Yeah, I’m afraid that’s something she got from me.”

KT rubbed his forehead. “She’s lucky. I can’t imagine you being anything but an awesome mother.”

She shrugged. “There are some people who might argue that waitressing in a showgirl’s outfit is at least one strike, but . . . I don’t care about those people.”

KT said, “Some people are assholes. There’s nothing you can do about that.”

Laura leaned forward. “Last night, when you realized we didn’t use a condom . . . my fault, okay? Just stop beating yourself up about it. Believe me, I’d have a backup for my backup for my backup birth control if I could figure out how that would work. I understand not being ready to be a father. But to not want to ever be a father, that’s something different, because I do want a baby. I do want a husband and a baby and midnight feedings and colic and teething and all those baby things. I want someone to help pay half the bills and do a quarter of the diaper changes this time around. I want someone who wants a baby.”

The wild urge to promise her all of it, everything she wanted and right now if she wanted it, had him ready to drop down on one knee right there. When he opened his mouth to say only-God-knows what, Laura shook her head.

“And if that’s not you, KT, it’s okay. When I was eighteen and scared to death, I tried every manipulation I could think of to hold on to my boyfriend, to not be so alone. I begged and pleaded with him, went to his parents with threats, anything I could think of to get my boyfriend to stay, to change, to love me. He didn’t and it was hard to raise Holly by myself, but I can’t imagine how our lives would be if he’d stayed out of duty. We never would have made it. Today’s me can see that. And we would have torn each other up—and Holly—in the process. I’ve grown up. So I’m not going to beg and plead and cry and make you give me what I want. It kills me to say that I think it’s a bad idea to go to dinner because I want any amount of time I can have with you, but because I’m the mother and I’ve almost gotten used to making decisions that hurt for the good of my daughter, I think . . . maybe we shouldn’t try it tonight.”

It made too damn much sense. And it hurt like hell, but he couldn’t argue. He also wasn’t going to tell her Willodean had already organized a dinner. He did not want to be caught between Laura and Willodean. He might be brave but he wasn’t stupid.

KT watched her wipe away tears. She was a beautiful crier. It figured. She did most things well, but the tears added a sparkle to her eyes and a color to her cheeks. When she ruined the picture with a wet sniff, they both laughed.

“Thanks for breakfast. I’ll just get dressed and go die somewhere,” he said.

He trudged down the hall to her bedroom and slipped on his pants and shoes before he returned to the kitchen to shrug into his shirt. She hadn’t moved. She was propped up against the counter and when a tear slid down her cheek, he nearly torpedoed his noble effort. She tried a wobbly smile and came around the counter.

When she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned against him, he closed his eyes to savor the feeling of her pressed against him this last time. She tilted her face toward him and he kissed her lips softly. He could stay here, just like this, with her in his arms for days. Instead, he forced himself to step back, grab his coat off the back of the chair, and leave without another word.

Chapter Nine

B
Y THE TIME
the lunch crowd had filtered out of Viva Las Vegas, Laura was ready to yank her tiny top hat off and toss it in the trash. She’d cried until five minutes before she walked out the door and now that things were slowing down again, she could feel tears threatening. Sal had growled at her to go home. Marcy seemed to be both sympathetic and jealous at the same time. The tearing down of the stage had taken a fraction of the time it had taken to put it all together. Shane and Mandy had been in and out all afternoon but she had done her best to stay out of their way. She couldn’t stand to hear “I told you so.” She hadn’t seen KT since he walked out the door in his wrinkled pants.

Apparently, that didn’t stop her from looking all over for him. And the pain in her neck didn’t help with the pounding in her head at all. She finally gave up on the empty dining room and started straightening and restocking under the bar.

“I think they’re working in the RCA room this afternoon, interviewing staff and contestants, the judges. Everybody but KT and Bob will fly out tomorrow so I’m sure they’re working as fast as they can.”

Laura stood to see Willodean seated across from her, her chin propped on one hand.

She said, “You look like hell. Marcy can probably handle things now if you want to head home.”

The offer was so damn tempting but she was afraid that going home, where there was so little to keep her preoccupied, would just bring on a fresh spate of tears. She did not want that. She needed to get herself together before Holly made it home. Work was the easiest way to do that.

“I’m fine, Willodean. Thanks.”

She pursed her lips. “There’s no way y’all can figure it out?”

Laura did her best to pretend she had no idea what Willodean was talking about. “Did you want to order lunch?”

Willodean smiled. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to but I think it might make you feel better. Besides, you know me. I make the impossible possible.”

Laura fiddled with a stack of napkins. “I think this might put your powers to the test.”

“Is it just the distance? Because that I can work on.”

Laura wiped down the already spotless counter. “That’s a big part of it. At this point, KT and I are just too different, want different things for our lives. If we were closer, we could ease our way into things, date and figure out whether we could meet somewhere, make a compromise. But now . . . it’s just like it’s all or nothing. And I’m too afraid to go for all and that’s the only way KT operates. But nothing just feels . . . wrong. Awful. Like I’ll never be happy again.” She stopped as the words caught in her throat and filled a glass with ice and ginger ale, Willodean’s drink of choice.

Willodean took a sip and looked back at the doorway. “I’ve been faced with a situation like yours before, hon. Oh, it was completely different too, but the decision I had to make, your all or nothing, was the same.”

Laura closed her eyes and took a deep breath. If she asked this question, Willodean was only going to tell her something that made everything harder, she just knew it. But she wanted another choice so bad she was willing to risk it.

“And you picked all, right?”

Willodean laughed. “Girl, it’s like you know me or something.”

Laura smiled and waited.

“I was almost eighteen. And I was pregnant with my high school boyfriend’s baby, unmarried, and me the preacher’s kid. Chester was ready to marry me, to settle down in Maynardsville, to work his daddy’s farm. But I knew him. He wanted more. He wanted something different. Chet went to talk to my daddy. They never did get along and more than anything my daddy wanted me to send Chet on his way. I could have that baby and give it away, that was his plan.”

Laura felt the sting of tears again. She’d had no idea Willodean had been there, in the same place she’d been fourteen years ago. That made it so much clearer why she’d taken such an interest in her life, in Holly’s happiness.

“You know me. I don’t ever settle for half when I can have whole, so I talked Chester into marrying me and bringing me with him. Wherever he wanted to go, I’d have happily followed him. We were going to go all the way to California, because we were young and stupid, but the money ran out in Memphis and it felt like we’d crossed half the world to get here, so we stopped. I got a job waiting tables and Chet landed the job that changed our lives forever. Somehow, he talked his way into the garage at Graceland. At eighteen, with nothing but desperation and a too-damn-charming smile, he wormed his way in and he never left.”

Laura had forgotten everything as she tried to imagine what that might look like, two kids with a baby on the way, leaving their families to land in such a prime spot.

Willodean laughed. “There ain’t no need to tell me that I was born under some kind of lucky star. We should have ended up crawling back home but instead, with the help of a superstar, we landed right side up. Got a cute little house and an almost reliable car and we had the cutest little boy you ever saw. His name’s Charlie Aaron McMinn and he is something special. You stick around long enough and you’ll see what I mean.”

Willodean took a sip of her ginger ale and Laura watched the glass shake as Willodean set it back down. “Just before Charlie turned six, Chester died. Pneumonia.”

Laura couldn’t stop the tears that welled up then. “God, Willodean, I’m so sorry, so sorry.”

Willodean nodded and patted Laura’s hand. “Now, it’s been a long time, but I need you to understand something. I went for all and I got every bit of it. I got no regrets now. I had Chet and I had Charlie and I met Elvis and I lived the life I always dreamed of. For six years I had it all. And I can’t even begin to imagine the regret I would have lived with for the rest of my life. If I hadn’t gone for all, I might still be in east Tennessee and I’d still be mourning and wondering whatever happened to my beautiful baby boy.”

Laura couldn’t figure out which question to ask next because there were so many swirling around in her head.

Willodean laughed. “Girl, if you could see your face. When I walked in you looked like somebody’d run over your pet raccoon, a feeling I am very familiar with. And now you look like you want to chase your tail five ways to Sunday. This is also a feeling I understand. I’ll tell you more about my story later. You need to concentrate on you and what your story’s going to be. I think you know a little something about going for it all. There are easier things to do than to decide to raise a baby all on your own. That’s an ‘all’ choice. Maybe you’ve been going a little towards the nothing end of the scale since, but you have a chance here to decide if that’s what you really want.”

Laura crossed her arms over her chest. “Willodean, there’s no need to think. I want it all, but I just don’t think KT’s the man to give it to me. His ‘all’ and my ‘all’ are so different, you know?”

Willodean wrinkled her nose. “Well, now, that’s a whole different problem altogether, isn’t it? So forget KT. Let’s focus on how to get you everything you want. Ready to look for another man, one who wants the same thing?” She said one thing but Laura wasn’t sure the calculating look on Willodean’s face supported the idea. She was a big fan of KT Masters. Most people were.

The immediate, angry response in her heart was no, she wasn’t ready. Laura wanted to mourn KT and wallow in it for a while. But what she said was, “Yes. Are you up for the challenge?”

Willodean raised an eyebrow. “Girl, I was born ready.” She motioned at Mike over her shoulder. He’d come in to help with the teardown and they’d almost finished loading up the truck. “What about this one? He’s a fine specimen. Introduce me.”

Laura laughed. “He’s an old friend, maybe the only family I have left besides you and Holly. He’s a no too.”

Willodean sniffed. “Introduce me.”

It was a bad idea, a really big waste of time, and by the look on Willodean’s face, it was inevitable. “Hey, Mike!” When he turned to look, she waved him over.

He dodged the judges’ table as two men carried it past.

“Hey,” he said as he leaned both elbows on the bar and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. “You look like hell. Do I need to beat the shit out of a certain Hollywood actor?” He looked over his shoulder. “Point me in the right direction.”

Laura ignored him. “Mike, I wanted to introduce you to Willodean Jackson. She owns the Rock’n’Rolla Hotel. Willodean, this is my best friend from high school, Mike.”

He held out his hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Jackson.”

Willodean laughed gaily. “Oh, please, call me Willodean.”

Laura coughed. “You two ought to have a lot in common. You’re both interior designers.”

Mike smiled. “Well, that’s nice. What kind of style do you work in? Have I seen any of your work?”

“Oh, I mainly prefer early Elvis but I like to run the gamut.” Her lips twitched as she waved a hand around the bar. “The whole place is my work. And it’s my masterpiece.”

Laura had to give him credit. Mike might have had a strong reaction but none of it showed on his face. “I like to specialize too. I like a traditional Southern style myself.”

“So you’re one of those old money and antiques kinda guys, hm?” Willodean patted his hand. “And I bet you’re good at what you do too.”

He was. Laura knew he worked for the rich and famous all over west Tennessee but he didn’t have anything on Willodean Jackson.

Willodean leaned closer. “So, Mike, got a girlfriend?”

He colored a bit. “No, ma’am.”

Willodean tilted her head to the side. “Boyfriend?”