Stuff (The Bristol Collection) (6 page)

“Married? Oh, Mas.” The disappointment in Jasper’s voice touched a nerve.

“What? It wasn’t like I was the one doing the cheating.”

“No…but you facilitated it.”

“For fuck’s sake! I didn’t even know he was when we started shagging.” Which wasn’t entirely true, as Mas had noticed the pale band around Grant’s finger where a wedding band had been removed, but he’d taken the tale of a recent divorce at face value as all that sexy toppy goodness on offer had been too much to resist.

“You’re wasting yourself on men like that and all those one-night stands. When are you going to settle down with someone who treats you right?”

“Settle down? I’m twenty-two. Plenty of time to settle down when I’m old. I’m having the time of my life.” Might not feel like it right now, but if he said it often enough, it would come true, he was sure. “Seriously, I couldn’t be happier.”

“If you say so.”

“I do. So, when can you help me move my stuff in? I’ve been given a month’s notice, but I could really do with moving sooner rather than later.” And to somewhere where Walter didn’t have the address, but he wasn’t about to confess all that and risk a shoplifting lecture too. “Today would be good.”

Jasper sighed. “I’ll have to talk to Lewis. Will you be in all day?”

“Got bugger all else to do, have I? Other than pack, but that’ll be a piece of piss. Reckon I could be finished in a couple of hours.”

“Okay. I’ll see what I can do.”

“You’re the bestest, and I’ll totally make it up to you guys. I’ll cook dinner every night, give you footrubs while you watch TV or read or whatever it is you do for fun every evening. I’ll even stop angling for a threesome, if that’ll make it easier.”

“Don’t promise things you can’t deliver,” Jasper said, but at least now Mas could hear the smile in his voice. “I’ll call back once I’ve talked to Lewis.”

“Put in a good word for me,” Mas got in just before Jasper hung up.

He was asking a lot, he knew, but Lewis would do just about anything for Jasper, and Jasper definitely owed him a favour for that time Mas had helped him lugging all those boxes of books. Okay, so Jasper had probably already repaid that favour several times over, but who exactly was counting, anyway?

“Right.” Mas looked around at his paltry possessions. “I need boxes.”

Time for a trip to the local Tesco.

By noon he’d already packed the contents of his bedroom and bathroom, and he’d almost finished packing the food from his kitchen cupboards when his phone made its little “new text” whistle.

It was Lewis. Crap. Heart hammering inside his chest, he swiped the screen.

This is going to be a very short-term deal only, and you’ll have to go looking for work every day. L.

Mas grinned.
You beauty
, he texted back.
Dnt wrry, ill b out of yr hair b4 you knw it!

Can you be ready to move this afternoon? L

This time Mas did a happy dance, before texting back to arrange a time that should be well before Walter clocked off, just in case he decided to come back and cause trouble.

“You don’t have much stuff, do you?” Lewis said after he’d stomped through the flat and given everything the once-over. “This is only a half load, if that.” He hefted the bin liner full of Mas’s bedding over one shoulder.

“Told you it was only a couple of carfuls.”

Lewis pulled a face. “I suppose I’m used to people trying to minimise the extent of their hoards. When they tell me it’s just a bit of mess, I steel myself for the worst.”

“Yeah, well, I can’t see the point in spending all that time and money collecting a bunch of pointless crap. I’d rather spend it doing fun things.”

“There’ll be none of those fun things going on under my roof.”

Mas gave him a quick glance to see if Lewis was being serious. He was hard to read sometimes, what with the deadpan face. “Aww, you mean I can’t bring back any hot men for all-night orgies? You’re such a spoilsport.”

“You want to party, you do so elsewhere. I don’t want Jasper having to see some strange man in his bathroom first thing in the morning.” Lewis shot him a glare before heading off down the stairs.

Mas followed, the box he was carrying bumping awkwardly against his chin. “Jasper’s a big boy, you know. He really doesn’t need protecting from the world.” Which was true, but he said it more out of habit than anything else. For some reason, Lewis’s protectiveness was annoyingly endearing. It was good to know someone as special as Jasper had someone who adored him so fiercely.

“He needs protecting from himself,” Lewis mumbled.

“Hey, you gonna go all mother hen on me now I’ll be living under your roof? Coz I’ve gotta tell you, Lewis my man, I’m hot for the overprotective-daddy vibe. Word to the wise, I’ll be all over you like a rash if you keep that up.”

Lewis looked back at him, his eyebrows raised. “And there’ll be no flirting with me and Jas either.”

“Oh come on. Like I can turn this off and on at will.”

“Of course you can. You don’t flirt with everyone, do you?”

“Hello, earth to Lewis? This is me. It’s who I am. I can’t help it. I flirt with the postie and with little old ladies and even with that miserable old bastard who works in the corner shop. I don’t mean to. It just comes out like that. I try to ask for a pint of milk like anyone else would, and it comes out like I’m begging him to shoot a load down my throat.”

Lewis got his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the back doors of the van. “Okay, well, could you at least try to keep the sexual innuendo to a minimum? Just do me the favour of not constantly reminding me of the fact you used to be Jasper’s…” Lewis’s nose scrunched up as he searched for whatever it was he wanted to say.

“Fuck buddy?” Mas supplied.

“Friend with benefits.” Lewis scowled. Or as much of a scowl as someone as perpetually even-tempered as him could manage, anyway. Lucky for Mas, he seemed to bring out Lewis’s moody side. Or at least his jealous side.

It was lovely that the two of them were willing to put him up, but living in the same house with Mr. Know-it-all could end up being more trouble than it was worth. Just how long would it take him to find a job and a new place to live, anyway?

Chapter Six

The shop’s doorbell jangled, but the noise bounced off the edge of Perry’s consciousness. If he could just get the cog fixed onto the lateral fin so it could still spin, he’d be happy. The stuffed carp wasn’t cooperating, though.

Eventually the noise of clothes hangers rattling penetrated his awareness, causing him to drop the cog. It skittered off the edge of the desktop and onto the floor. “Bloody typical!” But cursing wouldn’t help him find it. Neither would it help him serve the customer who had the temerity to call in this early on a Friday morning. He really should get a better bell and some kind of intercom system so he could buzz people in from upstairs if they didn’t look dodgy, but those kinds of things cost money, and he certainly didn’t have any of that.

Perry shoved his magnifying goggles up onto his forehead and ran down the stairs. He pushed through the racks of clothes in the backroom to the shop proper but hesitated with his hand on the curtain. What if the gas company had followed through on their threat to sell his debt to another agency? The letter had only arrived with that morning’s post, but he wouldn’t have blamed them if they’d finally lost patience with him. That meant a debt collector, and they could be rather unsavory characters. Or maybe it was someone setting out to rob the till. Good luck to them, really. There wasn’t actually any money worth speaking of in it, but would discovering that make them even more dangerous?

Perry glanced at the collection of fencing swords in the elephant’s foot umbrella stand. They weren’t sharp enough to do any damage, but his opponent wouldn’t know that. If Perry could just give him the impression he wasn’t the kind of man you could push around… He picked out the heaviest epee and held it in front of him. “En garde,” he whispered to himself.

“Anyone there?” a voice called from the other side of the curtain.

Perry spun around, sword at the ready.

The curtain rattled as a hand shoved it back.

Perry found himself staring at the wide-eyed face of the pretty young man from the previous day. The one who just wouldn’t stop talking. Mas. “It’s you. What do you want?” Suddenly aware of just how ridiculous he must look, Perry lowered the sword. He opened his mouth, not sure of what he was about to say, but then Mas smiled at him, and any words dried up. Smile was the wrong word for an expression like that. It definitely didn’t do justice to the way the expression lit up Mas’s whole face. He wasn’t pretty anymore. He was…radiant?

“Would you like a cup of tea?” For a moment, Perry wondered if someone else had wandered in and offered Mas a drink, but when he replayed the last few seconds, he was forced to conclude it had been he who had made the rash offer. He didn’t even know the chap, did he? And he’d already confessed to being wanted by a security guard for reasons unspecified but no doubt nefarious. Inviting a possible criminal up to his flat was hardly the done thing. Besides which, he’d never invited anyone up there, and he wasn’t about to start now. “I mean…erm, would you like to go out for a cup of tea? My treat.” Oh God, now what was he offering? It wasn’t like he had money to throw around.

But Mas just shifted his weight and leaned against the doorframe, his body as languidly graceful as a cat’s. “Tea? If I didn’t know better I’d swear you’d just asked me on a date at sword point. How could I possibly refuse?”

“I’d already lowered the sword. And you only have to say no.”

Mas’s eyes sparkled, and his cheeks dimpled even further. “You sound like you want me to turn you down. Now where would the fun be in that? It’s not every day I get to go out with a pirate.”

“I’m not a pirate. I don’t even have a boat anymore.” Although that might not be strictly true. He’d never enquired to find out what his father had done with the
Lady Liese
.

“So you’re a retired pirate? Even better. I like a man with a bit of experience. Especially when it’s all with seamen.” Mas winked at him. Were they flirting again?

“Umm, I think you might have the wrong idea about me. I’m not really… I mean, I don’t, erm, think about you in that way. Not just you. I mean, any man.”

“Shame. So you’re one for the ladies, then.” Mas looked momentarily crestfallen before the smile ignited in his eyes again. “But I could always wear a dress if it helped. I have it on good authority that I’m pretty enough to be a girl.”

Modest too. But Perry couldn’t deny the truth in that statement. And the idea of Mas in a dress—perhaps a short, lacy number with a leather waistcoat over the top like some of his steampunk-mad female customers wore—did funny things to his insides. Things he really didn’t want to think about right now. “I’m not really one for anyone,” he said eventually. “Never had a girlfriend either.”

“Then there’s hope I could turn your head. Excellent news. Come on, then, how about that cup of tea? If a hot beef injection is off the menu, I wouldn’t say no to a hot caffeine injection.”

Perry chuckled, surprising himself.

“So, sailor, where are we off to?”

“Oh, erm, I don’t know. Where’s good?”

Mas cocked his head to one side. “Upstairs would suit me just fine.”

“I don’t think I have any milk.”

“Black’s fine. I’m not fussy.”

“I don’t think I have any clean mugs either.”

“Are you nervous about inviting me up there? Got something you don’t want me to see?”

Perry hesitated, but knew he was only in for a barrage of questions if he didn’t give Mas something. “I don’t invite people upstairs. Ever.”

“Ooh, mysterious. Okay, let me guess. You’ve got a harem of sex slaves stashed in a cupboard somewhere, and you don’t want me to report you to the police.”

“Hardly.”

“All your living space is given over to a giant cannabis growroom, all except for the meth lab in your bathroom, and you’re currently sleeping in a hammock over the stairs.”

“I’ve never even smoked a joint.”

Mas grinned. “Not denying it, though, are you?”

“I’m not a drug farmer!”

“Okay, are we talking embarrassing rather than illegal, then?”

Perry nodded reluctantly. Damn this man for weaselling information out of him. He’d never known anyone with a talent like it.

“Hmmm. Embarrassing…” Mas rubbed his chin and pursed his lips. “I suppose it could be you’ve left your rubber gimp suit out for airing after a particularly sweaty wanking session last night.”

Despite himself, Perry smiled. “Try again.” Oh God. He was actually inviting questions now. How did that happen?

“You’ve wallpapered the place in mugshots of Kim Kardashian.”

“I’ve no idea who that is, but you’re not even close.”

“It’s a filthy pit knee-high in empty pizza boxes and beer cans.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Is it more of the same as down here? Cluttered with furniture and old stuff?”