stupid is forever

• Wicked
  
• Asukal Ka, Ako Ay Sago
  
• Deat Threast for Breakfast
  
• Out-of-Notebook Experience
  
• The Worst Thing About Being Married
  
• Miriam on Miriam
  

© Copyright 2014 by Miriam Defensor Santiago
and ABS-CBN Publishing, Inc.

First Printing, December 2014
Second Printing, December 2014

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form
or any electronic means, including information storage or retrieval
systems without permission in writing from the authorized representative
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Any copy of this book without the corresponding number
and the authorized signature of the author on this page either
proceeds from an illegitimate source or is in possession of
one who has no authority to dispose of the same.

Author Miriam Defensor Santiago

Publisher Alexie Renz M. Cruz
Research Assistants Marie Angelica Thelmo,

Jeanie Rose Bacong and Peter Tom Tolibas
Editorial Assistant Arlyn Rosales

Art Director Noel Avendaho
Cover Illustration Cj de Silva-Ong

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Head, Special Projects Kristine V. Hernandez

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ISBN 978-971-816-127-2

ABS-CBN

PUBLISHING INC.

PUBLISHED BY
ABS-CBN PUBLISHING, INC.
8F ELJCC Building
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Books by the Author:

Some
19
books in law and social sciences
Inventing Myself
(an Autobiography)

Cutting Edge, The Politics of Reform
(an Autobiography)
At the Turn of the Century
Where Angels Fear to Tread
Christianity Versus Corruption
A Frabjous Day and Other Stories
The Miriam Dictionary

National Library of the Philippines CIP Data

Recommended entry:

Santiago, Miriam Defensor.

Stupid is Forever / Miriam Defensor Santiago.
-- (Place of publication not identified) : ABS-CBN
Publishing, Inc., [c
20
I
4
l

p.I32 ; 17.18 cm

ISBN 978-971-816-127-8

I. Santiago, Miriam Defensor -- Humor.
2. Filipino wit and humor. 3. English wit and humor
-- Philippines.
4
- Speeches, lectures, etc., Filipino --
Women authors. I. Title

808.882 PN6222.P5 2014    P420140283

Dedicated to my sons
Archie and A.R.,

who traded bon mots with me everyday
at the dining table, until one day I
floored them with the question:

"Why is there something instead of
nothing?” In disgust, they chorused:
"That’s not funny!” and walked out.

Of course, I make no claim to originality in this compilation
of my epigrams. My supporters find them funny, and my
enemies presumably find them revolting. That’s because
those villains are hardwired only for self-adulation.

Anyway, I imbibed the responses in this volume from
joke books, epigrammatic collections, magazines, the native
intelligence of Filipino humor, and the need to survive the
pomposity and superficiality of politicians, who wouldn’t
recognize sarcasm if it jumped up and bit them in the
supercilious nose.

This work, commissioned by my publisher, serves as the
second, enlarged edition of the well-received The Miriam
Dictionary, which was circulated during the 1992 presidential
campaign. This work is premised on my firm belief that
despite what the bible implies, God definitely has a sense of
humor.

Miriam Defensor Santiago
October 2014

Sense of humor is almost absent among politicians, but
Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago is a truly talented
exception. People are puzzled how she can spontaneously
make them laugh in the midst of national policy crises, and of
real danger to her life as a corruption fighter.

Contrast adds to the humor, because Miriam is a leading
Asian intellectual. She was elected judge of the International
Criminal Court in December 2011, only to give it up because
of cancer. Millions of her fans still believe she won but was
cheated of the presidency in 1992. She lost one of only two
beloved children. But she never lost her sense of humor.

Humor pushed Miriam the senator to help uncover the
biggest corruption scandal in our country’s political history.
In dealing with the plunder of billions of public funds, and in
standing by the rule of law in a highly politicized impeachment
process, she scolded: "What the ....?” later shortened to
"Wha’?”

Miriam will go down in history not only as a laureate of the
Magsaysay Award for government service, or as the candidate
who never conceded defeat in a fraud-marred presidential
election, but as the soul who rises above it all by laughing at
human foibles.

Her complete resume can be found at the end of this book.

XII

2

4

His (Miriam’s enemy) memory is in black and white.

He (Miriam’s enemy) was a waiter at the Last Supper.

Brains aren’t everything. In the case of
Congress members, they’re nothing.

Corrupt politicians would be different, if
they had enough oxygen at birth.

Most people live and learn. Politicians just live.

In the Senate, sometimes I debate with people who
don’t let the facts get in the way of their opinions,
as in the case of the Reproductive Health Bill.

I want to work as a judge of the International
Criminal Court, because in Congress, the
mediocrity of some people is unparalleled.

He (Filipino politician) is just not user-friendly.

To politicians accused of plunder:
As an outsider,
what do you think of the human race?

Of her enemy:
Googling him yielded no results.

Of her pet peeve:
He is so ugly he should donate his face
to the Parks and Wildlife Office in Quezon City.

: Voltaire, I believe that the ideal form of government
is democracy tempered with assassination.

I agree with Mencken that democracy is a pathetic belief
in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The speeches of young, ambitious, apparently
corrupt politicians leave the impression of an army of
pompous phrases moving over the political landscape
in search of an idea. Sometimes these meandering
words would actually capture a straggling thought
and bear it triumphantly as a prisoner in their
midst, until it died of servitude and overwork.
This is how I feel when I watch these talkative,
pompous and empty young people answer media
questions during a live TV interview.

On live TV interviews after a plenary session,
some Congress members look so blank, each one
of them looks like the guy in a science fiction
movie who is first to see the Creature.

sometimes I meet my enemy in the Senate lounge
and would receive from him the sort of greetings
a corpse would give to an undertaker.