Sublime Wreckage (26 page)

"Oh Vincent. I'm so proud of you! Your father is looking down from Heaven right now smiling. He always knew you had the potential to do great things. Let's celebrate! How about I make you some dinner?"

"Actually, Maggie already took me out for dinner. Her treat!" I look down to the ground feeling ashamed. I should have brought him right to his mother. Of course she would want to celebrate with him. That was really selfish. If this was my mother I would already be on the ground.

"That was very nice of Maggie. Well, how about dessert?" She doesn't sound mad at all. I take a chance by looking up quickly but all I see is her warm smile. I immediately start to feel better.

"Dessert sounds wonderful Martina. I'm so sorry we didn't think to come here first."

"Don't be silly. You kids have every right to enjoy some time alone. I'm just happy Vince has someone to share his good news with."

My mother never would have said anything even remotely close to what Martina just said. We head into the kitchen and enjoy some ice cream with chocolate syrup. We laugh, talk and share stories. Of course most of mine are about school since I don't really have any about my mom. Not that I want to share anyway. But as I start to get more comfortable I begin to open up about my father.

"My dad was a police officer. He had the most integrity of anyone I've ever known. His instincts were never wrong. Well, almost never. He could read people so easily. That's why I know he would have loved both of you. I'd like to think I inherited some of those traits. I miss him so much."

"I miss my Javier too. It just isn't the same without him around. I can't imagine what it was like growing up without your father. It breaks my heart that my boys don't have their father anymore."

"Mom, it hurts me more than anything that you lost the love of your life. I'm just glad that I can be here for you. Support you anyway that you need."

That's when it hits me. Like really hits me. Vince feels responsible for his mother's happiness. I knew he was angry about losing his dad but I thought it had more to do with his loss than his mother's. Now I can see her pain through his eyes. It's heartbreaking. I understand why he doesn't want to leave.

The love I see between the two of them is almost indescribable. It reminds me so much of the way my father used to look at me. He really did love me. I'm glad he was in my life. Even if it was just for a short time. So I get why Vince doesn't think he can go. I really do.

The next few weeks are the best in my life. I spend Christmas at Martina's house being spoiled with all of my favorite foods. We decided to do secret Santa to keep things fair. I got Joey, Martina got Keri, Joey got his mom and Keri pulled my name. I thought it was funny that Tommy and Vince got each other but Vince wasn't happy at all. He wanted to get me something special but I refused to let him spend some ridiculous amount of money on a gift. That isn't what Christmas is about. It's about spending it with the people you love.

It was the best Christmas since losing my father. My mother wasn't much on holidays and since it was always just the two of us we didn't do much to celebrate. But this, right here with Vince and his family, this feels like what it's supposed to be about. They always say you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends. Well I'm choosing to make them all my family.

Life goes on. Time passes by without us noticing. I can't believe graduation is right around the corner. Vince and I have been together for six months but it only feels like weeks. I still can't believe how connected we are to each other. We are so in sync, we rarely miss a beat. Things have been heating up in the bedroom and I think I might be ready to take the next step with him. We keep pushing the limits every time he stays over. Which is almost every Friday and Saturday night. We would stay at his place but Amanda and Tommy are usually there. Yep. They are officially a couple. I'm happy for them. I really am. I just wish they didn't have to be so public with their affection. It's like watching two love sick puppies. Ugh.

I am so proud of Vince. His business has really taken off. All the hard work we put into the marketing packages really paid off. All of his clients loved his ideas. He has been able to expand his business enough to hire Tommy full-time. They make a really great team and I can't wait to see where they take things.

Amanda really worked her butt off too. She managed to pull her grades up to a low B average. I'm so excited for the next chapter in her life. Mine too. College bound. I've tried several times to bring up the idea to Vince but he refuses to consider the possibility. When I got my acceptance letters to 4 of the 5 schools I applied to I could see the disappointment in his eyes. He would never admit this to me but I know he is dreading the moment I have to leave. Which makes my decision that much harder. I don't want to leave him either. I started looking into the community colleges in our area in hopes that if I stay here two more years it would be enough time to convince him to go with me. But right now I'm just focused on graduation.

Martina already told me that we will be having a huge celebration at her house. She has invited my Grandfather, Amanda and her parents, Tommy and Keri. I'm really looking forward to it. We are celebrating all three graduates. Myself, Amanda and Vince. I loved the idea from the moment I heard about it. In just two short weeks I will be a high school graduate.

I haven't seen or heard from my mother in all this time so it surprised me when she showed up at my door. I didn't even think she knew where I lived.

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

"Hello Maggie. Aren't you going to invite me in? Or have you forgotten all your manners?"

"No Ma'am. Please, come in. I'm just surprised to see you. We haven't spoken since I moved out."

"Yes, well about that. I want to resolve that. That's why I'm here. Things haven't been easy for me since you left. I haven't been able to find a job and now I'm being evicted from the house. I can't pay my bills and it's all because of you. I want you to move back home. You owe me that much."

I'm shocked. I can't believe she actually thinks I owe her anything. I'm standing in my living room looking at the woman who tortured me for years. The hardest thing I ever did was move out of that house. There is no way in hell I will ever go back.

"I'm sorry for your troubles. But I can't move back in. I will be leaving for college soon."

"Really. You? I didn't think you had it in you. I guess your generous Grandfather will be flipping the bill for that, won't he?"

"That's none of your business." I can feel the adrenaline rushing through my body as I speak the words. My body starts reacting like it always has when she gets too close. My heart is pounding, a thin sheen of sweat is forming over my entire body and I'm motionless. But then something happens. Something unexpected.

"What did you just say to me?"

"I think you heard me. I really am sorry about your situation but you did it to yourself. If you had shown me even one ounce of affection instead of abusing me you might not be in the situation you're in."

What happens next feels like an out of body experience. She raises her hand to strike my face but instead it just stopped. Just like that. In mid-air. Once I snap back to reality I see my hand wrapped tightly around her wrist. I feel empowered. I'm no longer the weak little girl terrified of her mother. I'm stronger than this. I always have been but now I have the courage to stand up for myself.

"Don't you ever lay a hand on me again. Ever!" I look her straight in the eye so she can see my determination. I don't look to the ground in shame. Not anymore. It feels like time is standing still. Like we are frozen in this moment. Neither of us backing down. That's when I hear the front door open.

"Maggie, what's going on?" I slowly release my mother's arm never breaking eye contact.

"Nothing. My mother was just leaving." Vincent storms over to us and gets right in her face.

"You are the worst kind of human being. To treat your own daughter the way you did is despicable. If you had ever taken the chance to really know her you would have seen all of her talents. All the gifts she brings to this world. But instead you wasted the time you had with her. And now it's over. If you ever come back here for anything other than to apologize, I will call the police myself."

"Who do you think you are speaking to me that way? You don't know a damn thing about my daughter. Just wait until you see the real monster under the deceptive front she puts on. She isn't the sweet, innocent creature she likes to portray. Just you wait and see."

"Get out before I throw you out!" Vincent's entire face has turned red. I think he's going to lose it. My mother finally sees the anger building in his face. She turns to leave but not before spewing more lies.

"Good luck. This one is as loose as they come. But I'm sure you've already figured that out."

Those are the last words I hear out of her mouth. God, she is evil. Sometimes I really wonder if she's possessed. I slam the door out of frustration. I hate that I let her get to me.

"Maggie, are you alright?"

"Yes. I'm fine. I finally stood up to her. I stopped her hand from slapping me in the face. I'm really proud of myself. She doesn't have a hold on me anymore."

"I'm just glad you're okay. That woman is vial. I don't know how you survived all this time."

"I don't want to think about it. It's done and over with. Let's move past this. Hopefully she won't bother me again. I do wish she would get help though. For her own benefit."

"I know. But we both know you can't force her." I filled Vince in on my mother's mental health issues. He wasn't as understanding as me. He didn't care what caused her to be the person she is because nothing will ever make what she did to me alright. I see his point. But I also love that woman. No matter what she did to me. She's still my mother and I will always love her. Forgiving her is an entirely different story.

"Maybe we should celebrate your victory? It's a big deal. Standing up to her like you did. I'm really proud of you."

"I really just want to forget about it. Although, it did feel pretty damn amazing grabbing her arm like that and saying no. I told her to never put her hands on me again. It was like a surge of confidence flowing through every part of my body. I didn't think I had it in me."

"I always knew you did. You are so much stronger than you think. You put up with all the crap from your mom because you felt like you didn't have any other choice not because you were weak. I wish you could see yourself the way I do."

"I think I'm starting to."

My Grandfather is so proud of me. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me. He has done everything possible to make me forget the fact that neither of my parents will be a part of my special day. He paid for my cap and gown but we didn't do invitations. Everyone that I know already knows I'm graduating. It would have been a waste of money. He did get me a class ring. It's the only real piece of jewelry I own. I love it. I also got a new dress for the occasion but refuse to wear heals. So I picked out a very nice pair of flats. Amanda hates them.

The day has finally arrived. I'm nothing but a ball of nervous energy. Amanda is over at my place helping me get ready. After we add the finishing touches to our make-up we head out the door. We ride together to graduation since we have to go through a different entrance anyway. Families go to the auditorium but graduates have to meet in the gym to line up.

"I can't believe we are finally done! Now off to college!" Amanda is jumping up and down like a kangaroo. She can barely contain her excitement.

"I'm so proud of you! You did it! We did it!" Who am I kidding? I'm just as excited as her if not more. We both start jumping around like two crazy girls. Once they start calling names we get separated. I'm at the end of the line. Like always. Just once I wish they would start at the end of the alphabet.

After we line up we start heading into the auditorium. As soon as I enter the room I hear my name being screamed. I look up to see Joey, Keri, Tommy, Martina and Vince waving frantically in my direction. Suddenly I feel overwhelmed. Who would have thought that in less than a year's time I would have my own special family? Because each and every one of those people are my family now. Blood doesn't define what family is or has to be. Love does. And those people love me. I can feel it. I wave back with tears in my eyes. I have to look away before they see me. I don't know why but I still have a hard time showing my emotions to other people.

We take our seat listening patiently to all the speeches. Then it's time for the graduates to take the stage. Of course I'm at the very end. But once I climb the steps to get my diploma, I hear the chanting again. And it brings a smile to my face. I'm so blessed to have them all here. I will never take that for granted. I take my diploma from the principle shaking his hand firmly. I walk proudly off the stage. When the remaining two people step down everyone throws their caps in the air! We did it! We all survived high school!

The crowd is too chaotic to find anyone. We all agreed Amanda and I would meet at Martina's house after the ceremony. I make my way to her and when she sees me she gives me the biggest hug in history.

"I love you Maggie! I hope we stay friends for life!"

"Of course we will. What would I do without you? You're my best friend! Now let's go celebrate!"

The party is amazing. The outside is decorated with tiny lanterns that get brighter as the sun goes down. Martina went all out with the food. She made all of my favorites which is pretty much everything she cooks. We took so many pictures I think my eyes could be permanently damaged from the flash. My jaw hurts from smiling so much. But I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I only wish my dad was here. I can feel him though. In my heart where he will always live.

My Grandfather seems to be having a good time. Martina has made him feel really comfortable. She has a way of doing that. I think it's her gift. To make people feel welcome and loved. Amanda and Tommy have been talking to her parents most of the night. I get the impression that this is the first time they have met. I'm not sure why. Keri and Joey are dancing around the yard like the young teenagers they are while Vince and I enjoy the moment. I'm trying to take every little detail and store it deep in my memory. This is what I want to remember when I look back at this time in my life. The happiness.