Succession (28 page)

“I’ll try if you do,” he promises, looking up at me hopefully.

“I suppose that will do,” I agree. I know he’s trying not to agree to anything that isn’t true. I’d do the same. “Now, if we’re finished, can we take this discussion to the bedroom? Perhaps we can give it a little more chance to sink in.”

I’m still shaken, but going to bed with Cash has always meant good things. He starts by pulling me into his arms the moment we are in the bedroom, kissing me hard. I melt into his touch.

“What do you want tonight?” he asks, barely pulling his lips away from mine.

“You.” It’s rare that he asks me. He’s usually the one making the plans in bed. “Something different. Something rough to take my mind off of today. You pick the details.”

For a moment, I think I see him frown, but maybe he’s just thinking it over. In a moment, he’s smiling at me, the dangerous look that I’ve come to associate with exciting sex.

“Get your clothes off, and get on the bed,” Cash orders, and I immediately start stripping. “I want you on all fours.”

I shudder with the thrill and excitement of the command. He rarely fucks me in this position, but when he does, I like the way he pounds deep into me. I’m naked and waiting for him in the span of a few seconds, shivering as a cool breeze blows through the open window.

“Cold?” Cash asks, stroking a hand over my back like I’m a show dog on display.

“Yes,” I answer, somehow made colder by talking about it.

“You’ll be warmed up by the time I finish with you.”

He stops touching me, and I turn my head, watching him move through the room while still holding the position he wants me in. I see him disappear into the bathroom, making me wait. He comes out naked, goes to the cabinet where we keep a variety of sex toys, and returns with a black piece of fabric in his hands.

“You’re far too curious,” he states. He wraps the blindfold around my eyes, tying it tightly so that I am cast into darkness.

I tremble. He’s giving me an idea of how the night might play out, dark and dangerous.

He goes silent, increasing my anxiety, and I start to fidget after a few moments.

A light swat on my ass stills me.

“Squirmy tonight, aren’t you?” Cash teases, giving my ass and legs a few more gentle swats that I yearn to press back into.

“Mm hmm,” I mumble, relaxing into the pattern he’s drumming out on my ass and legs. It feels good, like a deep tissue massage, one that also turns me on.

A sharper smack, hard enough to make me yelp. I like the burn that spreads across my ass, and I wait for more. I want to disappear into the sensations, to feel him lighting my ass on fire until he plunges into me.

“Is this what you want?” he asks.

I think I nod, but I must not, because a moment later, he still hasn’t hit me again.

“More?” I suggest, trying to look at him through the blindfold. “I want to feel—”

I’m stopped by a hand clamped over my mouth, forcing my head back.

“All that question required was a yes or no answer,” Cash warns, dragging his fingers across my lips as I shudder. “You’ll answer when you’re spoken to. Think you can manage that?”

He releases his hand from my mouth, and I nod rapidly. “Yes, sir!” I reply, onto the game he’s playing. He’s taking on the same tone as he did at the rally today, but I was the one who asked for him to be rough. His tone set me on edge, but I’m sure I’ll settle in a few minutes.

My mouth is covered again, this time by his lips, and I stop feeling nervous for a moment so I can enjoy the sensation. He kisses me roughly, holding me by the hair and directing my movements, but I don’t mind. It feels good.

The kiss is broken all too soon as Cash pulls away, leaving me with another stinging smack on my ass that has me wishing for more. I want him to keep touching me, but he just leaves me. He’s in an odd mood, and it’s unsettling. I try to remind myself that I always like our games, but it seems too soon, now, too close to what I witnessed earlier. I’m starting to get scared, but I don’t want to back out. I wonder if he’s still angry.

I hear rummaging in the cabinet again, and when Cash comes back, I flinch when I feel his hand on my ass. He strokes my skin, no doubt feeling the heat. It occurs to me that I’m no longer cold, the breeze is actually welcome.

“Perhaps you need a little reminder to behave.”

We’ve played the punishment game before in bed and I usually enjoy it. Usually, I don’t feel like he would have any reason to punish me. He’s usually more playful, but tonight, all I hear is threat. Everything seems too real. I want to ask him to stop, but I don’t. A part of me wants this.

I stay silent, trying not to tremble, trying to remind myself that he won’t hurt me too badly. I wonder what he’s brought from the cabinet to use on me. We have a lot of toys, but wielded properly, I know they can hurt. I’m suddenly glad for the blindfold, because I can feel tears starting to form in my eyes. I don’t want my master to see the effect he’s having on me. “Yes, sir. I’ll be good for you.”

Something presses against my lips and I open my mouth immediately, years of training kicking in.

“Good,” Cash comments, stroking my head. “Feel this with your tongue. Try to guess what it is.”

It feels stiff and hard, not like a cock, although the similarity isn’t lost on me. It’s leather, and from the size and shape, I’m guessing it’s the stiff, heavy strap that Cash owns. We tried it out once, but I thought it hurt too much and Cash has respected that, since.

It scares me that he wants to use this on me. Even though he’s never hurt me in bed, I start to feel the familiar sense of panic threatening to take me over, and my breath starts coming more shallowly. He keeps working it in and out of my mouth, and I keep licking and sucking on it obediently, almost glad that I can’t say anything at the moment.

“Think a few slaps with this will help you to forget the earlier indiscretions?” Cash asks. “Maybe I can make you scream for me tonight, that should give you something else to think about. Demanding boy—you want rough, I’ll give it to you.”

All I hear is threat. Is he angry with me? He let me off without so much as a warning for everything I did earlier. I thought we were coming in here to play and fuck, but maybe he had other ideas. I wonder if he’s really going to beat me.

When he pulls the strap from my mouth and shifts on the bed, I lose my composure, twisting away to sit on my ass and reaching up to rip the blindfold off. The tears in my eyes make everything blurry, but they don’t stop me from speaking.

“Please, Cash, I’m sorry, don’t hurt me!” I cry out, skittering away from him on the bed. I don’t trust myself enough to get up and run right now, so I don’t bother trying.

Chapter 24
Resolution

“Sascha!” Cash snaps, his face conveying his shock. He drops the strap and grabs one of my ankles as I keep retreating further away, nearly falling off the bed. “I’m playing,” he insists, shaking his head. “I was just fucking playing; I’m not going to hurt you!”

A part of me feels silly and rather relieved, but the prey animal part is still screaming at me to get away. It seems that part of me hasn’t yet caught up with Cash’s insistence of innocence. “Please,” I whimper, and the image of an animal caught in a trap, gnawing off its own foot crosses my mind.

Cash sighs. “Don’t fall off the bed when I let you go,” he mutters, letting go of the grip he has on my ankle.

I pull away, slide off of the bed, and retreat to the far side of the bedroom, pressing my back against the wall. I watch, trembling, as Cash leans back against his pillows. He’s relaxed and calm, but he reminds me of a snake about to strike.

I tell myself that he doesn’t hurt me in bed, and he won’t, and I have a little panic attack standing there against the wall as I try to convince myself of that.

“You like it when I hit you,” Cash points out, calm as ever. “You asked me to do it. And you’ve got to know by now that I won’t really punish you—fuck, Sascha, how long’s it been? I’ve done everything I can to make up for those early months. And I’d never actually punish you when we’re about to have sex! Even back when I first bought you, that was out of the question. You know that.”

“I know,” I say, because everything he’s just said is true. I shiver, this time because of the cold. I curse the goddamned window.

Cash notices, and he rolls his eyes. “Do you want to get under the covers where it’s warm, or should I go shut the window?”

I look at him, still nervous and confused, not sure what to say. Does he just want me close, or does he really care that I’m cold?”

“I’ll shut it,” he mutters, getting out of bed and doing so quickly before returning. “But you’ll still be warmer over here,” he reminds me.

“You’re not gonna…” I start, unable to finish asking what I want to ask. I don’t want to give him any ideas.

“I won’t do anything to you right now,” he says softly. “I’d like to hold you close and warm you up, but I won’t if you don’t want me to.”

I go back to the bed, my head spinning, and I wrap myself up under the blankets. It’s not warm enough. Within seconds, I start wriggling closer and closer to my master, pressing into his arms. Not long after, I feel those strong arms wrapping around me, pulling me closer, and I feel safe again.

“Is this all right?” Cash asks, stroking his hand gently over my back.

“Yes,” I answer, snuggling closer. “I’m sorry.”

He keeps up the gentle touch, calming me. “It’s been a while since you’ve reacted like that.”

He’s right. It’s been months, at least, since I’ve let the fear and panic take me over like that. Sometimes I just get confused; everything bad that ever happened to me seems to come back in a burst. I get scared and nothing seems to make sense.

“Can you tell me what it was?” he asks. “I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I thought it was what you wanted.”

I think about it for a minute. “I thought it was, too. And then it was too much.”

Cash waits, holding me close and rubbing his hands over my skin. I wanted to run away from everything that happened today, but it caught me, anyway.

“You were acting weird,” I admit. “Not that it’s your fault, but it threw me off. And earlier… I should have asked for something different. I didn’t know what I wanted, and then I thought that maybe you were really going to hurt me, and I didn’t know how to make you stop. I know it was stupid, but I guess I thought you might want to hurt me for real. I thought I’d let you.”

Cash kisses me, erasing every stupid thought from my brain. “I didn’t really want to hurt you at all tonight, but I wanted to give you what you needed. It was my very poor attempt at meeting your needs. I picked the strap because you wanted something different, and we don’t use it often. I know that you don’t like it because it hurts too much, but I was just going to tease you. We both like to play with a little fear, and besides, it was sexy to see it in your mouth. You must know by now that I can hit you with anything I want and still make it gentle, don’t you?”

It makes sense, but my heart is still racing. “Why did you blindfold me?”

“I didn’t know if I could pull it off, tonight,” Cash admits. For once, I think I see him blush. “I wasn’t going to let you down by denying you, even if I wasn’t feeling it. I think that was another mistake. I overacted, perhaps.”

I manage a smile back at him, because, yes, it would have helped to be able to see his face.

“If I thought it would help to give you a safeword, I would, but you don’t even manage to tell me to stop,” Cash points out. “Sascha, you know I’ll stop, right? Have I ever not stopped when you ask me to?”

“I pretty much never ask you to,” I admit, because I don’t. I panic, I run away, I beg him not to hurt me. But I don’t ask him to stop. By the time I’m worried that he won’t stop, I don’t think he’d listen to a simple plea like that.

“Well, could you try to in the future?” Cash asks, still smiling. “I mean, panicking and jumping off the bed gets your point across, but I’d like it if you stopped me before you get to that point. You’ve gotten better at some things Sascha, and one of them is hiding how you’re feeling. I had no idea you weren’t enjoying that until you panicked. I know you pretty well, but I’m not a mind reader.”

I didn’t realize that controlling my reactions could backfire this badly. “I guess.”

“And I’ll try to check in with you more,” Cash promises. “I suppose it might have been a little upsetting to not know what I was going to do.”

I nod, feeling safe and comfortable again. My cock seems to have gotten the message, and simply being pressed against Cash is turning me on. “What do you want to do tonight? It doesn’t have to be rough. We can do what you want.”

Cash laughs a little, pulling me up and kissing me slowly, leaving me breathless. “I did like the way your ass warmed up for me. I don’t want to scare you; I’ve done enough of that for today. I just want to make you feel good.”

An idea crosses my mind, and I’m lusty enough to entertain it. “Can you show me what you were going to do? Now that I’m not panicking. Can we try again?”

Cash considers it for a while before he nods. “Promise you’re not just looking to get hurt?”