Suite 269 (20 page)

“It’s wrong, Sophia,” Kevin mumbled back. Backstabbing loser.

His eyes rose back up to mine. “I’ve screwed up big time and lost someone I really loved. I can’t lie about this and hurt her more. She doesn’t deserve it,” Kevin said.

Tears blurred my vision. I tried to hold them in, but it was really hard.

“Sophia wanted me to pretend to be Alex—but I’m not. Alex Kavon is in this room though. I don’t know anything about blogging and writing. But I do know I can’t hurt anyone anymore.”

“That’s enough. I’m Alex Kavon!” Sophia yelled desperately. “I wrote all these articles. I didn’t want to…”

“She’s lying!” Trager roared. “She’s lying. And she’s only been sleeping with me because I told her I knew Alex. And when I told her who Alex really was she—”

“Shut up, you moron. You’re the one lying!” she screeched. Her face turned a sickening shade of bright purple. The people around us started murmuring and whispering loudly.

Jameson slammed his fist down against the table, immediately halting all noise. “Stop the games. Where is Alex Kavon?”

Sophia and Trager’s voices fought to be heard, tangling together and muffling each other. Other people yelled and cursed at Sophia for giving them false hope at keeping their jobs.

I stood up amongst the fighting. Somewhere to the left of me, papers flew up into the air. I slid my way toward the door. The only thing I could honestly think about was writing an article about how sexist assholes still exist or mean girls aren’t only in high school.

“Lexa?” I heard Jameson’s voice over everything else and it stilled my movements.

I leaned my palm on the door for support.
This was going to end everything. This was going to cause it all to go up in flames.
But he was leaving to go to California, wasn’t he? The three weeks were over and it was all just fun. Everything that led up to it. The texts. The talks. Everything. It was numbers 1-9 on the list. The thing is I needed more. I needed number ten.

I deserved it.

“Lexa?” he called out again.

“It’s me.
I’m Alex Kavon
,” I said.

T
he chaos
around us crashed to a screeching halt. People stopped in mid sentence, paused in mid stride, and everyone’s eyes snapped to me.

“How can
you
be Alex Kavon?” Remington demanded.

“Unscramble the letters, sir. Alex-Lexa. Kavon-Novak. It’s me. I tried to tell you. I emailed Remington dozens of times.” I shrugged and threw my hands up into the air. “Why open an email from some meager little fact checker, right?”

“There’s no way,” James said, standing up from his chair and leaning his palms down flat on the table. His face turned menacing. “Regardless of the unprofessional activities that have run rampant in this building, this is a business. People’s livelihoods are at stake here. The games need to stop. Alex Kavon is a brand worth millions. He’s been established for years. It can’t be you.”

“It was just a scrambled profile name. I started blogging when I was fifteen. It’s really easy to be someone else behind the cover of a computer screen,
sir
.”

“She’s a liar,” Sophia cried out, but Kevin shoved his hand over her mouth and urged her to sit down quietly. I watched their motions. She flung herself in defeat, collapsing against the chair. It rolled with the momentum and spun her around. Everyone else just watched me.

“So you could have saved us all this grief? This whole time?” James asked low.

“I sent your father everything, I…” I plopped myself down in the nearest chair, not able to stand under James’s scrutinizing stare any longer.

“You could have just scheduled a meeting and told me,” Remington growled.

“I did everything I could to make you see…”

“No you didn’t,” Remington spat.

I stood up so fast the chair rolled out and swung against the wall. “The problem is that no one in the entire building ever listens to one another.” I glanced between James and his father. His head was now leaned back against the wall and his eyes screwed tightly shut. “I’ve been here, right in front of you the whole time.
You
never knew. I asked repeatedly for you to read my work. All you wanted was the brand and the following. You didn’t want
me
.”

“You
did
try to tell me,” Jameson’s voice was soft, low.

Shaking my head, I made my way to the door, but he was right behind me trying to pull me back to center stage. I didn’t want to go and there was no way I was going to be humiliated again in front of everyone. Tripping over my own feet, I staggered ungracefully into the hallway. James followed me out and slammed the conference room door behind us.

His voice hissed in my ear, “All that time I was trying to tell you to be open and I couldn’t hold up my end of the bargain by listening. No wonder you hate me.”

I snapped my head back and looked at him over my shoulder. “I would never hate you. Never.” I turned to face him. “You showed me the most amazing three weeks of my life.” My hands turned clammy and my heart sped faster. It was now or never. “I told you I wanted to fill in Alex’s place. I wanted to show you my work, but you told me you couldn’t settle for me. You made me feel like you wouldn’t settle for me at work or anywhere else.”

“No. I didn’t mean to—”

“It doesn’t matter! I don’t want someone to settle for me. I want to be wanted more than anyone else.
That
I fucking deserve.”

“Tell me want you want me to do,” he said softly.

“No. You make up your own damned mind about what you want to do,” I said.

“Just say it,” he demanded.

“Are you really going to California?” I asked in a shaky whisper.

“Yes,” he said immediately.

I took a step away from him and shook my head, “So. It wouldn’t matter what I would say. It would just make me look foolish. Enjoy California.” I jogged away from him down the hallway, brushing my fingers along the walls silently, making my way into the bathroom. I needed to leave—pack my desk and leave. Start over. Go somewhere where people didn’t form ideas of you because of your age or your gender. A place where I could find someone who thought I was worth sticking around for.

The bathroom was quiet, deserted. In the mirror above the sink, my face looked pale. Bright red spots covered my cheeks and rimmed around my eyes like I’d been crying for days. My heart pounded painfully fast inside my chest as I leaned over the sink. I needed to get out of here without anyone noticing.

Taking in a deep breath, I turned the faucet, ran the cold water over my hands, and pressed them to my face.
I wish it hurt less. I wish it wouldn’t have been so personal
. But it was, wasn’t it? It was. I fell for Jameson Holt in the worst way.

Grabbing a few paper towels from the dispenser, I dried my face and evened out my breathing. When my pulse slowed down enough, I peeked my head out of the restroom and snuck silently back out into the hallway. I jumped into an empty elevator and descended to the dungeon to gather my belongings and leave.

It might be foolish of me to run, but what did I have to fight for? Jameson was going to be heading the offices in California—there was nothing worth spilling my guts over. He was choosing to leave no matter what.

“
H
ave
you heard from her at all?” Evan asked, raising his glass to his lips and scanning his eyes around the crowded bar.

I hung my head down and rubbed the back of my neck. “No. She won’t answer any of my calls or texts.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Does she know you’re back?” His eyes darted nervously around.

“I don’t think so. Why would she?”

He shrugged again. “Thought you were pissed at her. Figured you were going to stay in California and get some west coast pussy. Why are you even here?”

“I’ve been gone for a month and forgot how crude you are,” I said, shaking my head. “I just wanted to get back here. And you said you were here when I called you. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, man. I just have…I have a lot of things to do.”

“Yeah, you look real busy sipping that beer,” I said. “So how…uh…how is she?”

His eyes surveyed the crowd quickly as he scratched the scruff along his jaw. “Who?”

I scrubbed my hand over my face and sighed heavily. “Lexa? How is she?”

“Oh, yeah, right,” he said, frowning. He gave me a hard smile. “She’s been great for the magazine. Pretty classy woman if you ask me. Putting aside all the stupid bullshit you and your father put her through. This month’s ratings went through the roof, I hear.”

“Yeah,” I murmured.

“Well, it was stupid to come back if you’re thinking of messing everything up again with your dick. You got what you wanted, right? Alex Kavon is writing for InTrend. You should turn around right now and just head back to California.”

Why was he trying to get rid of me?

“Right now?” I said stunned. “You said that like you want me to leave right this minute.”

He grunted low. Then his eyes focused on something at the far end of the bar near the front door, and his lips curled into a wide smile. What the hell? “What are you smiling at?” I asked, turning my head to look behind me.

Mandy had just walked in.

My stomach dropped. It actually
dropped
. I’d never felt that before.
Was Lexa with her? Would I get to see her tonight?

Next to me, Evan shot up and waved to Mandy like a lovesick puppy. What the hell happened while I was gone?

She moved through the crowded bar with a huge smile on her face, and when she reached Evan, he wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her for a good five minutes. Awkward.

“Do you guys need me to get you a room or something?” I offered, throwing a wadded up napkin at them.

Mandy’s head snapped around and her eyes widened as soon as she realized I was sitting there.

“Jameson Holt?” she said.

“The one and only,” I replied.

“Well, thank God for that,” she sneered as Evan pulled out a chair for her to sit down.

“Ouch,” I cringed. “I guess I deserved that.”

“When did you get back?” she asked.

“About an hour ago,” I said.

“And you came here to a bar with Evan?”

“No. I just called him to talk…what the hell, come on… How is she? Where is she? She hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts.”

“Why should she? It’s not like you had any feelings for her—why would she want to give you the time of day?” Mandy snapped.

Ouch. That burned. If only it was true though. If only I didn’t have feelings for her—it would make the crappy depression I was rocking go away.

“I think we both needed some time and space to think things through,” I said.

Mandy’s lips twisted into a devilish smirk. “Good thing too. Since she finally got a chance to move on.” She turned her eyes on Evan and her smile softened. “Babe, could you get me a margarita?”

He leaned over and kissed her again. “Sure thing. I’ll be right back.”

Mandy watched him walk away.

“What the hell did you do to him? You broke Evan.”

“And you broke Lexa!” she fired back.

“Oh yeah, sure. Her indifference and unreturned calls really show me how much she misses me. I’ve spent the last month begging for her to talk to me or message me.”

“You made her feel worse than Trager did,” Mandy said.

“That’s a shit thing to say. Where is she?” I said, bolting out of my seat.

“Why?” she said, arching an eyebrow at me.

“Because I fucking miss her and I came back here because being somewhere without her is killing me. I’m fucking miserable.”

Mandy’s expression thawed and her eyes turned sad. “That’s too bad. I think you’re too late, Holt.” She shook her head and waved to the door. “You should leave. She just walked in.”

My head snapped to the front of the bar, heart racing and mushrooming with warmth.
She was here? Lexa was here?

Without thinking, I pushed through the bar toward the door. My thoughts raced and my chest tightened. The first thing I needed to do was apologize. Then I was going to kiss the shit out of her.

And then she was standing in front of me, stunningly beautiful. Her hair was a sexy mess, her eyes were wide, and the brightest blue I’d ever seen.

“Lex, I need you to just listen to me before you walk away—”

“Jameson…” she stammered, face blanching.

“Yeah, baby, it’s me,” I said, feeling like it was the first time I took a deep breath in over a month. We both stood there staring at each other. “God, I missed—”

“Lexa? Is there a problem here?” a deep voice cut in.

My vision shifted a few inches to the right of Lexa and noticed a man standing next to her. Not just next to her, he was practically on top of her, clutching her arm possessively.

“What the fuck?” I asked.

“James. Hi. Wow. Are you visiting? It’s so nice to see you,” she said softly.

She was lying. This wasn’t nice. Whatever this was—wasn’t nice—and it kind of sucked rancid cock.

“Um, Jameson Holt, this is Spencer,” she offered me a tight smile and then looked up at the fucknut standing next to her. Her smile brightened and softened at the edges, making me want to break him. “Spence, this is James.”

“Hey. Wow. Jameson Holt—from Holt Media? Great to meet you,” he said, extending his hand out for a handshake. I didn’t reach out my hand; there was no way I could touch him without squeezing his hand and breaking every bone in it.

Lexa’s eyes darted between Spencer and me quickly. “Well, okay then. It was nice seeing you Holt. We’re supposed to meet Mandy and Evan for dinner soon so we have to find them…So, yeah, nice seeing you.”

She stood in front of me stiffly, waiting for me to say goodbye, and I couldn’t even form words in my mouth. The only bodily functions I could perform at that very moment were rapid blinking and shaking of the head.

Holy shit.

Was that her date? Her boyfriend? Someone she was sleeping with? She couldn’t be sleeping with him, right? A sharp burning sensation slashed deep inside my chest and zigzagged across my stomach. Visions of his tongue thrusting into her mouth and her hands shoved down the front of his pants had me clenching my jaw painfully. She couldn’t have fucked him. There was no way. He looked like a cartoon character. And what kind of name was Spencer?

She couldn’t have moved on.

It’d only been a month.

Black spots dotted my vision as I stood there practically snarling as I thought about him flat on his back while she rode him slowly.

I stepped back as if she’d punched me and almost lost my footing.

How could she have forgotten about us? How could she have not been as miserable as me?

This hurts
.

This wasn’t happening.

“Are you okay, Holt?” she whispered with a sad smile. She reached her hand out but yanked it right back and tucked it against her chest instead of touching me. “We…uh…we have to meet…we’re just going to meet Mandy and Evan. It really was nice…to see you again,” she stammered, trying to get away from me.

I couldn’t let that happen.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let her walk away again.

Not without letting her know.

“Oh, yeah? That’s great news because they just invited me to join you all for dinner. This should be fun.”