Summer at the Shore (Seashell Bay Book 2) (24 page)

T
he sea breezes blew strong across Eagle Island’s rocky shore, setting up a fierce chop. Still, Ryan had kayaked from Seashell Bay with little problem, loving the challenge of the hard paddle over. Now, as he stood on the lawn of the isolated home that once belonged to Admiral Peary, he gazed across the gray Atlantic and absorbed the solitude of the deserted state park.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about Double Shield and the ramifications of his decision since leaving Capstone’s office yesterday. Not even at the Pot, where he’d sat at the bar last night trying to somehow maintain a light conversation with Laura over a meal of burger and fries. This morning he’d hoped to focus on some detail work at the inn but couldn’t really do much until Brendan showed up. Frustrated and missing Morgan like crazy, Ryan had put away his tools, suited up, and aimed his kayak in the direction of Eagle Island.

The stark serenity of the place seemed to reach into his soul with a calming touch. The little island was basically a rock with some trees, an old house, and a dock where tour
boats and private craft moored and discharged visitors. The last tour boats of the day had already departed, and it felt like he had the entire island to himself.

And it felt good. Like his whole Casco Bay summer had felt good. The attic fire had kicked the hell out of them for a while, but they’d fought through the destruction and found daylight on the other side. Other than that admittedly huge problem, he’d been blessed with a fair number of quiet hours in his kayak, and with the satisfaction of working every day with his hands as he repaired the inn.

Most of all, there was Morgan, and she’d made all the difference. The thought of going back to Double Shield and shepherding rich guys through the world’s shitholes had started to feel like something he didn’t want to do anymore. Not after his time on the island, helping friends and family, building something up and seeing it take shape under his hands.

He’d forgotten how good that kind of work could feel.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t still dogged by second thoughts about his decision. The peace he felt at the moment did funny things to him. It made him want to stay and build a life here, maybe with Morgan if she was willing—though who knew whether she’d end up in Seashell Bay or Pickle River.

That question and his uncertain future in terms of work on the island—hell,
life
on the island—continued to nag at him. Who knew how long this sense of peace would last? What would happen in the winter, when much of the population abandoned the place to the cold, stormy weather? Seashell Bay seemed like paradise now, but Ryan wasn’t naïve enough to forget that life there could be pretty damn tough and isolating.

Then there was Morgan and her career. What if she did decide to go back upstate to Pickle River? Ryan had found out firsthand what could happen when a man and a woman lived apart for a long time, and none of it was good. He’d gotten damn serious about Callie Strohmayer, convinced she might be the one. They’d had their issues and their fights, but Callie had always said she’d support him if he decided to stay in the service.

What a sick joke that had turned out to be.

Although Ryan couldn’t forgive Callie for the lies, he could understand how hard it had been for her to deal with the separation that came with long deployments. They sucked, took a huge toll on relationships, and were to be avoided whenever possible.

He glanced up at the clouds scudding across the sky. It was getting late and past time to head back to the island. If he could, he wanted to get back to Seashell Bay before Morgan got home. If she found him gone, she’d be looking for him and probably worrying too. She worried about everyone and everything but herself.

As he pushed off from the shore, he thought about her comments of a few weeks ago—when they were talking about their futures or lack thereof. Morgan had said that all they had was the present, and the moments they were together. That sounded about right. For now, he would focus on her and on the inn and let the rest sort itself out.

He had no idea where either of them would end up. He had no answers to any of the questions about his life, beyond the fact that he’d left Double Shield behind. The best he could do was just live for today and for his time with Morgan.

Tomorrow would come soon enough.

Morgan hurried across the gangway straight into Ryan’s embrace. Thrilled to see him waiting for her, she wrapped her arms around his waist and lifted her face up for a kiss. He obliged with an enthusiasm that attracted the attention of more than a few tourists and grinning locals waiting to board the ferry.

“I guess you missed me,” she said breathlessly, after he finally let her up for air.

“Hell, yeah. And I intend to show you exactly how much in a few minutes.” Ryan let her go and grabbed the handle of her small suitcase. “Ready to go?”

Morgan nodded. “Sabrina said she’d pick me up, so I wasn’t expecting you.”
But I’m so glad you came
.

“I kind of insisted,” he said. “Besides, she’s been pretty busy painting the upstairs bathrooms.”

Morgan grabbed his arm. “She’s been what?”

“Yeah, you told her to let me and the guys handle the painting, but she said she wanted to prove to you that she could do a good job. So she’s taking on a couple of the bathrooms. She said she hopes they’ll be so good that you’ll let her do more.”

Morgan and Sabrina had engaged in a brief tussle of wills earlier in the week when Sabrina made noises about wanting to help paint the renovated upstairs rooms. Morgan had put her off, remembering a few previous occasions when her father had let Sabrina pick up a paintbrush. The results hadn’t been pretty.

“That little sneak. She waited until I was gone,” Morgan said, not knowing whether to laugh or groan.

“She’s trying really hard,” Ryan said, his left arm securely encircling her waist as they strolled down the
pier to the parking lot. “Doing new stuff. I think it’s great.”

She leaned into him. “Let’s see if you still say that after you have to repaint those rooms.”

He kissed the top of her head. “It’ll be good for her spirits, Ms. Control Freak.”

“Control freak? Watch your mouth, buster, or you won’t get within a mile of my bed tonight.”

Ryan shot her an amused glance. “Are you sure about that?”

“No,” Morgan admitted. “Not after I’ve been thinking all about you and what you can do to my body. It’s been a long three days, I can tell you.”

Ryan slowed and dropped a lingering kiss on her lips. “I’ve been thinking exactly the same thing.”

“Sweet. So, uh, in that case maybe we could make a quick pit stop at your place before we head over to the B&B?”

His wolfish grin had her going soft and damp in an instant. How utterly mortifying, especially since Mrs. Bryson, Josh’s mom, was giving them a cheeky smile and wave as she walked by them.

“That could definitely be arranged,” he said in a low voice that made her belly tumble.

Ryan stowed her suitcase in the bed of the pickup and opened the door for her. A moment later, he had them on their way.

“Holly sends her best,” Morgan said. “She’s doing great—the surgeon’s really pleased with her progress.”

“That’s good. You were sweet to help her out like that.”

Morgan shook her head. “Not really. We always take care of each other.” She decided to push the envelope a bit. “Like you’ve been taking care of me.”

“I’d say that’s been a mutual thing,” Ryan said.

Morgan glanced at him. He looked totally mellow and laid-back, like he didn’t have anything on his mind other than getting her in the sack. She was dying to know what happened in Raleigh but dreaded having to ask him outright.

Unfortunately, it looked like he wasn’t going to be in any hurry to talk about it. Then again, what else was new? Ryan never wanted to talk about himself.

Suck it up, buttercup
.

“So, what about you?” she asked brightly. “How was your trip?”

Ugh. Lame
.

Ryan’s eyes remained locked on the road ahead, even though there wasn’t another vehicle in sight and he could probably drive the old island road in his sleep. “I met with my controller, and it was a little tougher than I’d thought it would be,” he finally said.

When he didn’t elaborate, Morgan gritted her teeth. It looked like she was going to have to drag the information out of him. “Why? Is it about some assignment they want you to take?”

“We didn’t talk about assignments. Not really.” The corners of his mouth eased into a smile.

Honest to God, she was going to kill him.

She yanked on her seat belt so she could twist around to face him. “But I thought that was why you went. To get a new assignment.”

Ryan shook his head but still didn’t catch her eye. “Nope. I went to tell him I was going to quit.”

Morgan sucked in a huge gasp. Her reaction made him finally look at her.

“Morgan, the reason I didn’t say anything before was because I wasn’t a hundred percent sure I’d be able to go through with it. When my controller told me I was one of the best he’d ever had . . . well, it meant a lot coming from a man I really respect.”

“But you did quit, right?” Her words sounded like a squeak.

Ryan nodded.

“That’s . . . that’s incredible,” Morgan stammered.

“That’s one word for it,” he said wryly.

Go ahead—ask him straight out. Don’t be a coward
.

She gripped the edge of the cracked leather seat. “Do you have an alternative plan? Once you’re finished up here, I mean.”

Ryan turned onto the narrow gravel road that led to his cottage. A cloud of dust immediately enveloped the truck. “My alternative plan is to not have a plan. Not right away anyway. I’m going to take it one day at a time for a while. Like you told me, all we really have is the present.”

Morgan felt like someone had just tasered her; she was so stunned. She’d been living in the present too, trying to make the most of her sweet days and nights with Ryan and pushing back the awful fear that she’d be a mess when he left.

Now she felt like she’d just received a stay of execution. “So very true,” she managed.

“There’s still a lot of work to do at Golden Sunset, like figuring out how to get the kayak operation off the ground and market it. But after that, who knows?” He paused. “Aiden thinks I should go to work for him at the resort.”

Morgan grabbed the dashboard when they hit a rut. “What?” How could Lily have kept that from her?

“He hit me with it at the wedding reception. Sounded pretty serious about it too.”

She just stared at his profile. Man, he still looked totally cool about everything, while she no doubt looked gobsmacked.

“What kind of job?” she asked.

“Chief of security.” He gave a little huff. “I told him I didn’t have a clue about hotel security.”

“Does that mean you’re not interested?”

She hoped her voice sounded neutral and nonjudgmental, but she was barely able to keep from blurting out that it sounded like an amazing opportunity, one that would change everything for him. For them. But she didn’t have the right to do that, so she kept her big trap shut.

He pulled up in front of the two-story cedar cottage that had turned out to be a far cry from the dump Morgan had expected he’d have to settle for. The place had suddenly become available when a family cancelled their three-week reservation, and the owner had been so thrilled to get a last-minute replacement that he’d given Ryan a sweet deal on a week-to-week basis. Ryan had opted for this place over the one his mom’s friend had offered because it was closer to Golden Sunset, not to mention a lot nicer.

Ryan leaned across the console and gave her a lingering kiss. Then he settled back into his seat. “They haven’t even broken ground on the resort, so there’s plenty of time for decisions on that and everything else.” He slid his hand up the outside of her thigh. “Right now I’ve got something a lot more interesting on my mind.”

When he nuzzled her neck, Morgan sucked in her breath as his stubble rasped over her skin, the rough feel making her even more crazy. Questions whirled in her
brain, and she was desperate for answers, but her body definitely had other priorities. That was the only downside of sex between them—sometimes she thought they both used it as a substitute for talking about issues that really mattered.

Like the future.

“If you don’t stop doing that, we’re not going to even make it into the house,” she said, squirming. “And doing it over a stick shift would present some challenges.”

Ryan slid his hand up farther, going under her short skirt to finger the lace edge of her panties. “Oh, I don’t know. We’re always overcoming challenges together, aren’t we?”

She gave him a playful little shove. “Forget it, big guy. I’m too old to have car sex, especially in broad daylight. And I might end up with that stick shift somewhere very unpleasant. But it’s nice to know you missed me.”

His gaze went from warm to hot in a nanosecond, practically scorching her. “A bit. Like about every minute or so I was thinking I couldn’t wait to get inside you.”

Wow
. She’d have to peel herself off the leather seat at this rate.

But at the back of her mind she also hoped he missed more than just the sex. More than her under him, or riding him, or making love to him in any of the other dozen positions they’d managed to try so far. Because she’d missed him in body, heart, and soul, and the thought of saying good-bye simply seemed impossible.

P
arched from his morning run, Ryan stripped off his sweat-soaked T-shirt and reached into the fridge for the pitcher of orange juice. He downed a full glass and then headed upstairs for a shower. There was no time for breakfast since he had to meet Brendan at the B&B to schedule the rest of the carpentry detail work.

Morgan’s truck was already gone when he got back from the run. She’d spent the night—maybe their hottest yet—and he’d been looking forward to another round with her in the shower. They’d been crazy for each other till the wee hours of the morning, and he suspected that part of her enthusiasm resulted from relief that he’d quit his job and wouldn’t necessarily be leaving town anytime soon. Still, he gave her props for not bugging him for additional info. He didn’t have answers for himself, much less for Morgan.

Morgan and Sabrina were catching an early boat into Portland today to shop for the B&B, which was why she’d headed out. They’d make a day of it and even take a short trip down the coast to a company that manufactured
custom weather vanes. Morgan had told him they deserved a girlie day together on the mainland after everything they’d been through, and Ryan totally agreed. Both women had paid their dues all summer long, physically and emotionally. If anyone deserved a treat, those two did.

He stripped off his shorts and dropped them and the T-shirt on the bedroom floor. The bed, with its flowery quilt and little fortress of neatly arranged pillows, was perfectly made. He couldn’t help a quiet laugh. Morgan was obsessively tidy, unlike him. Ryan was the kind of guy who pretty much left his clothes wherever they landed. His mom used to kid him about not being housebroken, and he guessed that was pretty much true.

Or maybe he just hadn’t been given the chance to get domesticated by a woman like Morgan.

His cell phone rang. Maybe Brendan was late and Ryan wouldn’t have to rush over to Golden Sunset.

But it wasn’t Brendan. It was Double Shield’s Raleigh number. “Cap?”

“Yeah, it’s me. I’d apologize for calling so early, Butler, but I figure you could use a wake-up call once in a while to get your lazy, retired ass out of bed.”

“I just logged four miles, and in a few minutes I’ll be heading to work. And by the way, my ass doesn’t get to park itself in a cushy executive chair all day like some people I know.”

Capstone chuckled. “Low blow, Butler. Low blow.”

Well, enough with the pleasantries
. “I haven’t changed my mind, Cap, if that’s what you’re calling about.”

“Never thought you would. But if you shut up and listen a minute, you might want to hear about a conversation I had with HQ late yesterday.”

“Okay, I’m listening,” he said cautiously.

“HQ thinks you’re too valuable an asset to give up on. Don’t ask me why,” Capstone said with a snort. “I’m just a grunt so I didn’t question the West Coast high and mighty.”

“That would be a first,” Ryan scoffed.

His controller chuckled. “Shut up and listen, Butler. When the ops director asked if there was anything we could do to change your mind, I told him there was only one thing that might tempt you, and it wasn’t more money. It was a combat-training role.”

His heart started pounding like he was under fire on a rooftop in Ramadi. Had Cap somehow managed to talk HQ into it? A position at the company’s national training center near San Antonio, Texas, was exactly what he’d wanted.

“So after I told them that, the brass went off to examine their navels,” Capstone said. “Last night, the director called and said they’re willing to transfer you to the NTC, but only if you sign back on for a minimum three-year stretch. The guy slated for the job got T-boned in San Diego a couple of days ago and won’t be working for a real long time, if ever. They had another operator in mind for the job, but when I told them about your situation, they came up with this offer.”

Jesus
. Ryan sank down on the bed, barely able to process. He’d never expected this and had completely written off a transfer—it was a promotion, actually—to the training center. Did Double Shield really want him to stay that badly? It was fucking amazing to learn that they apparently did.

“Holy shit, Cap, I don’t know what to say. It’s such a bolt out of the blue, especially after everything we’d talked about.”

Capstone snorted again. “Tell me about it. I figured it was worth a shot to try the idea out on HQ. I knew they were high on you. Hell, they ought to be after all my performance evaluations. There was a whole lot of luck involved, but I have to say the bastards surprised me too.”

“Yeah.” His brain worked double time to process the implications of the offer. When he glanced down at the crisply made bed, he had a sudden and vivid image of how beautiful and peaceful Morgan had looked sleeping there this morning. Finally relaxed, finally happy. His throat tightened.

Shit
.

“Besides the three-year commitment, there’s one other catch,” Capstone said.

Ryan’s grip on the phone tightened. “There always is.”

“It’s not a big one. It’s just that they need you there Monday. I know you wanted to be off all summer, but they won’t budge on that, pal. They’ve got an instructor training class ready to go, so you need to be there by Sunday at the latest.”

“No flexibility at all?” Ryan knew there wouldn’t be, but the words just came out. He needed more time to think.

“Zero. You don’t show, they’ll promote the other guy.”

Ryan’s stomach was twisted like a tangled trapline. After everything he’d said to Morgan, how could he take off that soon? Talk about bailing out—on the inn, on Sabrina, and especially on Morgan.

“You’d better say yes,” Capstone said, “or I’m going to look like a first class dickhead to HQ since I went to bat for you.”

The job was exactly what Ryan wanted. He didn’t have
to think about that part because it had been on his mind for months. Transferring to a training role was the only way to stay in the game but not live the kind of nomadic life that no longer made sense to him.

But he had to think hard about Morgan and what he was going to say to her.

“I appreciate everything you’ve done, Cap,” he said. “But I’ll need a little time to think.”

“Jesus Christ, Butler, isn’t this exactly what you wanted?” Capstone thundered. “Guys kill for these opportunities.”

“Just give me a day, okay?” Ryan countered. “One freaking day. I made commitments to people here, and I have to get out of them.”

Capstone cursed under his breath. “Okay, you’ve got twenty-four hours, not a damn minute more. I can lie and say that I couldn’t get through to you today or some other bullshit thing, but tomorrow is the best I can do. Otherwise, it’ll look like you’re not serious, and they’ll probably pull the offer. You know how they are at HQ. They never screw around. We’re all just cogs in the machine.”

Ryan figured if he couldn’t make up his mind in twenty-four hours, he didn’t really want the job, did he? “That’ll do, Cap. And thanks a lot.”

“You’re not very fucking welcome,” Cap growled. “Just make sure you call me first thing tomorrow.”

“Count on it.”

Ryan clicked off and stared blankly at the wall for what seemed like an eternity before he could even start to sort out his spinning thoughts. The moment his controller had dangled the training job, he’d almost screamed “yes” into the phone, thanking his lucky stars for an opportunity he’d wanted so badly. But for some reason, he hadn’t been
able to pull the trigger. Something had held him back, and that something was clearly the woman who had been with him in this bed last night—the woman he’d have to say good-bye to, maybe forever, if he headed to Texas.

One thing he knew for sure—that good-bye was going to be a lot rougher than he’d have ever believed possible.

He had twenty-four hours to make a decision, but deep down he knew he’d already made it.

Morgan sipped green tea from a tiny porcelain cup as she studied her sister across the little café table. Sabrina was devouring her Thai ginger noodles while Morgan was barely picking at her stir-fry vegetables and rice. One bite in, she’d discovered she had little appetite, probably because she’d learned that she could never be sure how her sister was going to react to any change in life circumstances. Her nerves were just a bit too jittery to make food appealing.

Energized after another awesome night in Ryan’s arms, she’d picked up Sabrina at Golden Sunset and caught the eight forty boat into Portland. Less than an hour later, they were browsing the showroom at Down East Weather Vanes and talking to the owner about a custom-made vane—one featuring a lobster boat. She’d left a photo of
Miss Annie
for use as a model and couldn’t wait to see Lily’s face the first time she looked up at the B&B’s roof and recognized the little replica of her boat.

Morgan wanted the new vane to be a visible symbol of Golden Sunset’s new beginning and a tribute to her best friend.

Back in Portland, as they were strolling up the hill to the vegetarian bistro Sabrina picked for lunch, Morgan
had decided to deliver her news there. She was pretty sure Sabrina would be happy, but if it turned out not to be the case, at least she figured her sister would be less likely to make a scene at a restaurant.

“At the rate we’re going, I think our Labor Day reopening promotion is going to bring us a full house,” Morgan said to lead off the discussion. “Inquiries are already coming in even though the online ads just started.”

She’d received three e-mails so far, two asking for more details to supplement the sketchy information she’d provided about kayak tours in the ads.

“Great,” Sabrina said. “But what about Ryan? Any more news?”

“About him leaving?” Morgan said, though she knew exactly what her sister was asking.

Sabrina gave her a wry smile.

Morgan wasn’t sure how to convey what Ryan had told her because she wasn’t sure what it meant. She didn’t want to get her sister’s hopes up only to have them smashed again when he decided to take off. “Well, for one thing, he just told his company that he’s not coming back.”

“Yay!” Sabrina said, punching her fist into the air. Then her elated look quickly morphed into a frown. “But I guess that doesn’t mean he’s staying here, does it?”

Morgan tried hard to keep both her expression and her voice neutral. “He only said that he’s going to take it one day at a time.”

Sabrina looked disgusted. “Then you’ll just need to work harder on him,” she said, putting down her chopsticks. “It’s so obvious we need Ryan. I’m not sure we can do it without him, Morgan.”

Though Morgan didn’t think her sister meant that as a
criticism of her, it bugged her to think that Sabrina didn’t believe they could carry on their father’s legacy by themselves. Because she’d finally started to believe they truly could.

And wasn’t that a nice bit of irony? She was the one who’d wanted to sell the place and take Sabrina back with her to Pickle River, and now Morgan felt totally invested in making a go of it. She couldn’t help wondering how much of that she could chalk up to Ryan’s presence.

“I sure hope we can,” she answered. “In fact, I’m starting to get more confident that the B&B can make it now. And don’t forget that Ryan said he won’t leave until he gets the kayak operation up and running.”

Sabrina shot her a skeptical look. “You’re absolutely sure he won’t?”

“That’s what he told me. What do you want me to do, get him to sign it in blood?” she said with a smile.

“Yeah, that would be good,” Sabrina said with a little smile of her own. Then she started fiddling with her chopsticks.

Morgan recognized the signs. “What is it, honey?”

Sabrina looked a little guilty and a lot nervous. “If things do turn out okay at Golden Sunset, are you going to head back to Pickle River like you originally planned?”

“Actually, no, I’m not. That was the other thing I wanted to tell you today. I’ve decided to quit my job, sell my house, and move back here.”

Sabrina’s eyes went wide. “You have? Oh my God, Morgan, that’s awesome. I . . . I don’t know what to say.” Her blue eyes started to go a little teary.

“Just say you’re happy.”

“Hell, yes, I’m happy! And if Ryan stays, I know we
can make the new Golden Sunset a success. What a team we’ll make!”

If only
. “Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, okay? We don’t know yet about Ryan and, as for me, I’m only going to be part-time at the B&B.” She hesitated a moment, clearing her throat. “So we need to talk about that.”

Sabrina’s gaze narrowed. “Part-time? What exactly does that mean?”

“It means I’m still going to teach. I’m just planning on doing it here in Portland instead of Pickle River, and part-time instead of full-time. I’m going to try to get work as a substitute teacher in the city.”

“Oh.” Sabrina looked deflated.

Here comes the tricky part
. “I’m sure we can make it work, especially since I won’t teach during the summer. But it’ll mean that you’ll have to take on a little more responsibility.”

Sabrina stared at her and then pushed her plate away. “It’s fine to say that, but you know there are things I just can’t do. I wish I could, but . . .”

Morgan shook her head. “I’m not talking about taking responsibility for keeping the books and paying bills and promotion or any of that. I mean you can do stuff like ordering supplies and arranging for deliveries. And you’ll have to spend more time taking care of the guests when I’m gone for the day.” She smiled to take the edge off. “No more hiding out in the kitchen.”

Sabrina’s gaze darted sideways. “I don’t know . . .”

Morgan took her hand. “Honey, you’re definitely ready. I’ve watched you come out of your shell a little more each day, and now I can tell that you’re starting to enjoy spending time with the guests. And I’m sure you’re ready for me
to gradually pass on some of the administrative work too. Really, it’s the only way we can make it work, because I need to keep teaching. Sabrina, as much as I love the inn and the island, I can’t imagine never having a classroom full of kids again. It would rip my heart out.”