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Authors: Jonathan Smith

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‘I suppose I find it a rather odd request.’

‘What’s odd about it? I’d do the same for you. Lent you my horse, didn’t I?’

‘Yes, but it isn’t quite the—’

‘For example you could take her to the races, give her an airing, she’d like that.’

‘Would she?’

‘Yes, she’d love it!’

I could see this was becoming hopeless, so I agreed, and
as soon as I agreed to ‘keep an eye on her’ he smiled and quickly released his grip. The tension eased somewhat. Soon we were
drinking more freely. We fell to talking of other matters, of the estate, horses, the new house on the cliff, fishing the
stream and the news (circulating the bar) that French boats had once again slipped into the cove and stolen Jeffery’s crab
catch. A.J. said he’d like to fire shells at all frogs.

By midnight I was sitting in his studio, drinking.

Why do I forgive him so quickly?

It was, though, a full week before I began to ‘keep an eye on her’. The weather saw to that. It was beastly: if it wasn’t
a deluge it was a freak gale. I often bicycled off into a morning headwind and arrived at work thoroughly soaked, wet in the
foot and wetter still in the collar. There were roofs blown off at Downs Barn and Borah. Even though I also felt rotten with
a series of bilious attacks I somehow managed to pull through the days. Strangely I sometimes found the wind and the rain
a great comfort. My feelings and the rain fell together.

With the weather better I decided to see her not at home in the cottage but, if possible, outside Stanhope Forbes’s painting
school. Harold Knight assured me she was there. Suddenly the sea was as smooth as the page I now write on. My new bicycle,
a Sable Singer, fairly skimmed along, and apart from a brief tussle with a yapping dog with an aversion to bicycles, the trip
was a perfect dream. As I arrived in Newlyn I had a tune playing, mocking me almost, in my left ear. It was the last of the
tunes I heard Florence humming to herself as we skated. I am not very good on music, a lamentable lack in my education, but
I have since found out it is from Schumann’s
Kinderscenen
, Scenes from Childhood. Maddened by the memory of it I hummed it
later to Laura. She recognised it immediately and happily pounded it out for me on the piano at Jory’s.

I stood on the far side of the road, facing the door from which I expected her to come out. I imagined she would emerge with
a folder of drawings under her arm. Above all I did not want to meet her in company, least of all a crocodile of female students.
As for myself I hoped I did not look too out of place and cumbrous. If Munnings was right, and she was working all hours on
her painting, if she really was competing with him for glory, the chances were she would be late.

I waited and the hands on my watch seemed to stick. A tight swarm of feelings clung to my stomach. Why was I there, when I
felt such resentment at the way I had been treated? Why was I there when the way she behaved towards me that Saturday afternoon
led me to believe it was my company she most enjoyed? Her happiness was clearly not dependent on my homage.

Was I standing there, no doubt looking a little foolish, with my new bicycle as my only companion, merely because I did not
have the strength of character to tell Munnings it was no business of mine or, come to that, of anybody else’s to ‘keep an
eye’ on his fiancée, to comply with his wishes while he made his thousand guineas and carried her off?

‘Keep an eye on her.’ The more I thought of the phrase, it was a damned cheek.

And, anyway, how on earth could I do that? You cannot keep someone else’s love warm, you cannot love by proxy. It was far
more likely, I thought, that by doing this favour for him I would simply be throwing some nuts on to the fire of my love,
brightening its blaze for a brief moment or two, rekindling my hopes which would as quickly dampen the moment he returned
triumphant from his
Norfolk and Suffolk sojourn. What on earth was I doing? I was not his manservant, fetching up warm water for his soothing
bath!

She was there.

She spoke first.

‘Captain Evans, what a surprise!’

‘I was going to Penzance to shop, and suddenly realised where this was.’

It did not convince her and it did not convince me. I went on quickly:

‘What have you been doing today?’

‘Drawings from life … But you don’t look very well. Have you been ill?’

I have always greatly disliked talking about illnesses, mine especially, and how could I tell her about my stomach and my
sleeplessness, when she was their cause?

‘Nothing much,’ I said, ‘a touch of this and that, but how is your life drawing?’

‘Are you sure it’s nothing serious, you seem to have lost weight. Let me look at you.’

I found myself unable to meet her concerned gaze. I started to walk aimlessly, talking for the sake of talking, with the bicycle
between us, but whatever I asked she diverted. Indeed it was as if I had not even asked her the questions at all. Sometimes
there seemed little connection between what I asked and the ‘reply’ she offered. It reminded me of playing tennis with someone
who is either not trying or is unaware of the rules, someone who plays on after the ball has dropped out. It was only when
I told her I had been prising some damaged corrugated iron off the old hut which Laura Knight was now using as a studio, that
she connected with my thoughts, asking if I could find her such a place herself, saying that she wanted such a place all to
herself more than anything else on earth and that if
I could provide one she would be eternally grateful to me. There was a note of desperation in her voice.

‘But surely,’ I said, ‘once you’re married you’ll have everything you need?’

‘In what way will I have everything? Do you believe that is likely?’

‘I’m sure A.J. will provide you with the best studio anyone could wish, I’m sure he will.’

‘But I want a place in the middle of nowhere. Can we search for one together? Please!’

This disturbed and excited me. We walked on.

‘It should not be too difficult to find one,’ I said. ‘Do you know how long he will be away?’

‘Alfred, you mean?’

‘Yes, of course.’

Who else could I have meant?

‘How would I know?’

‘But you must.’

‘No, I really have no idea, I have not heard a word from him since he left.’

‘Oh.’

‘He is not a great writer of letters. At least, not to me.’

‘I suppose he has so much to do, so much to achieve, but I know how much he will be missing you. I’m sure he’ll be tearing
back to see you very soon.’

This rather gushed out. She stopped dead in her tracks – we were leaving Newlyn behind us now – and she looked very directly
at me. Then, without further comment, she put her arm in mine, and with a small pressure motioned me on.

Her arm in mine.

‘How is Joey?’ I asked, my mind racing.

‘You tell me,’ she laughed, ‘I rarely see him.’

‘Nor do I these days.’

‘Really? How odd! He’s always “Off to see Gilbert”, or that’s what he says as he leaves.’

‘I was wondering then,’ I went on quickly, ‘I was hoping rather, that you would like to go to the races, at St Buryan. With
me.’


Horse
races?’

‘Yes, it’s a very popular day.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes, it’s next Saturday … if you have the time … But I expect you haven’t.’

‘I would like that, yes.’

‘You would?’

‘Yes. Quite apart from a day out with you I would like to understand what it is about horses that makes them so appealing
to some people.’

Some people. I found that phrase odd. Did she mean Alfred, and if so why not say Alfred?

As we walked up the hill, arm in arm, I explained the kind of day it would be, that I would call for her in good time and
we would, if she wished, be able to see all six races. The races started after lunch, and it did not matter if she claimed
to know nothing about the horses because quite frankly no one else knew much either, least of all me. We stopped to watch
some dun-coloured cows bunch and huddle and heave and wallow in a puddle by a gate, nosing each other away. We walked on past
some wild rhubarb leaves in full growth.

Everything was now going splendidly. There was a spring in my step and a natural sound to my voice and a wonderful prospect
ahead. I could see her gliding around the paddock, I was at the races already and, so to speak, jumping the hedges at the
head of the field, when I stumbled.

Looking very directly at me again she asked:

‘Have you been before?’

‘To St Buryan races? Oh yes.’

In fact I had just been made Vice President, but did not tell her this.

‘And whose idea is all this, may I ask?’

‘Whose idea?’

I felt my knees go weak as I spoke.

‘Yes.’

‘That I should accompany you to the races? Well, mine of course, if you want to go, that is.’

She smiled her beautiful, open smile and pressed my arm.

‘Oh good, you see I wouldn’t really have enjoyed it at all if I felt you were standing in, so to speak.
That
… I would resist.’

Standing in. No two words could have hurt me more. Though we were now approaching her cottage on a beautiful evening my chest
felt airless and my feet like lead.

‘Yes of course … I can see that.’

‘And when I saw you standing across the street with your bicycle I thought … oh dear, he’s been sent and he doesn’t look at
all well.’

‘Sent?’

‘That was how it looked, at first glance.’

‘If you don’t wish to go,’ I said sharply, ‘I quite understand.’

‘No, I very much want to go, as it’s your idea, very much so. Thank you. And I’ve been so bored. So very bored.’

‘I can’t imagine you bored, ever,’ I said.

‘Oh, I’m so bored I scream out loud.’

I smiled at this.

‘You do?’

She did not return my smile.

‘Oh yes. One day I’m happy, one day I’m bored, and I can’t begin to account for either. It’s all … unaccountable.’

We walked on.

‘And looking back, Gilbert, it’s quite a strange feeling, you see, to have given oneself away so lightly.’

‘Oh, surely not? I can’t believe that’s the case.’

‘But, then, Alfred is a genius, and there is no one in the world like him.’

I am quite sure those were the exact words she spoke, odd though they look now on the page before me. Even odder, as she said
them, I could see Joey scurrying past the tubs of geraniums and into the cottage behind her back, and evidently as keen as
he could be not to be spotted by either of us. Florence withdrew her arm from mine, turned to face me and smiled.

‘Thank you for walking me home, Gilbert, I enjoyed it so much, and I’ll tell Joey we met.’ She raised her hand to correct
herself. ‘If, that is, he returns.’

Barely two days before the races at St Buryan a letter arrived for me at the hotel. I knew the handwriting. Once again it
seemed I was the chosen one.

Dear Ev,

Dear boy! What do you say to THIS? Come on, admit it now, you did not expect to hear from me so soon, did you? I may be deemed
a difficult chap but here I am, pen poised, no, not with the glorious gypsies in the hop fields of Hampshire, but far away
in a rather wintry Norfolk. Back home I travelled, through Essex and Ipswich, and now reside just south of Norwich. Devoted
though I am to you all in Lamorna, here is home, here I lay my head. But what specifically – when so much calls me West –
brought me here to the East?

Instinct, Hal, instinct: Falstaff’s instinct.

Believe me, it happened without my intervention. Suddenly I was carried away, bound upon a course, fancying myself in my Melton
jacket and brown-top boots, very natty, and that course led me to a strange, unplanned reunion, yet so strange and so fortuitous
it must surely have been planned. And throughout the vicissitudes of this strange reunion I have been happy to know that you
are there in Cornwall, KEEPING AN EYE ON HER, as well as everyone else. Oh, you are in-dis-pensa-bull.

What a week it has been, a turbulent week! I might have guessed that Shrimp would be the cause. But, as is my wont, I am rushing
headlong ahead, I have not told you about my favourite model – no, I do not mean my cow Charlotte or my paintable girl, my
adorable Blote – I refer to one Shrimp.

I ran into Shrimp, fingering his glass and his half-shaven chin, in a snug little bar (where else?), with his small stack
of coins placed in front of him like draughts. The very same Shrimp who stood, sat and acted as my model in earlier years
until I settled (don’t laugh, I am more settled than ever) near my mill in Lamorna. Being a model, is he (you may be asking)
astonishingly handsome and graceful, is he a subject fit to set before a king?

No, Ev, he is not! He is rough and tough, small and artful, a villain and a brigand. He lazes with lurchers under the caravan;
he haunts with harpies, snatchers and strutters. (Now do notice the alliteration, old boy! It took some minutes of mental
agility to marshal those.) He lives on the road. As far as I know he knows no home, or at least he admits to none, and there
is something in me that warms to that. He is a swaggerer, a braggart, a Pistol who discharges (if
he has his way) upon mine host. Shakespeare would be proud of him. If I say to you he saunters up to me, mouth insolent, wearing
a sleeve waistcoat with black pearl buttons, with both his hands stuck in the front pockets of his tight black cord trousers,
you may also see the sight for yourself. But what no one (not even you, Ev) can picture is the way he halters the wildest,
unruliest colt, or the style with which he sits on an unbroken pony, because no man ever had a more velvet hand with animals
or subdued nature so naturally.

Because you are an educated man, Gilbert, and no doubt schooled somewhere posh, AND Vice President of the St Buryan races,
and because I am a half-educated artist and nowhere near half a gentleman, I ask you: is it possible to be uneducated and
know too much? Let me release you from your misery. The answer is ‘Yes, may I introduce you to Shrimp?’

Shrimp is a wild man, no mistake. He has pure blue eyes, as clear and innocent as cornflowers, but red swollen eyelids which
– it is no secret, eh? – suggest that this latter-day Pistol, this bareback rider, is partial to pint pots as well as hostesses.
He also loves his pipes. Between puffs, leading the horses ahead, he says over his shoulder:

‘So, Toff, where you bin?’

The cheek of the fellow! ‘Toff’ indeed. Where I bin?

‘I bin getting myself hitched soon,’ I said.

He laughed, a rather insolent laugh, as if to doubt I was the marrying kind, but I let that pass. He can see I am impatient
to paint, and he is very paintable; and peacock that he is, he knows that, for males are every
bit as vain as females. He is at ease in his boots, he likes his look in the mirror, he delights me, he inspires me, but he
is a villain. He enrages me (me, the mildest of men). He is steeped in cunning and roguery: in fact he is something of a fox—

Where was I? Yes—

On Monday, towards the end of the day, I told him to take the blue caravan and horses on ahead to The Falcon, the pub in Costessey
where I planned to take my supper. He struck up as soon as he could, pausing only to look at my painting and say, ‘That bridle
ain’t right.’ This made me swear. Who was this ignorant cowhand and horse-breaker to think himself a critic! But he was right
enough. The bridle wasn’t right. It was very wrong. Still, it was a beautiful winter’s day, Monday, and what a sky there was
(and you, I imagine, were riding Merrilegs along the cliff?), and I had at most two hours of daylight left to correct the
poorly painted bridle.

As well as a perfect day I had a perfect spot: a track ran down to the river, and went on over an old cart bridge, and my
eye was carried to marshland with sloping fields on either side. Between the line of poplars I could see the tall tower of
a windmill. I worked in silent cold toil, transfixed, close to the silent river, and I imagined it as summer, tapestried with
leaves, with scarlet fields of poppies shimmering in the distance. And to my joy I found I could paint exactly what I imagined!
How fast the minutes go, Gilbert (why should I always call you ‘Ev’?), how fast they go when you are working en plein air
with Bastien-Lepage presiding unseen by your side. And by the time I set off for the pub, loaded with clobber, the bridle
was right.

Smacking my dry lips in anticipation of a pot I made my way back, arms aching, gouty foot hurting, fit only to drop, through
a farmyard full of frightened hens but not too tired to miss a trick of dying sunlight on some lichen. At the inn gate, facing
its fine front, I was met by the landlord, all crimson tinge with pebbly eyes, reddish-brown mutton chop whiskers and teeth
that showed an inch of gum. And Trouble was brewing in those pebbly eyes!

Shrimp and the caravan had only just arrived. The facts were all too immediately clear, the landlord said, from the moment
Shrimp was seen. He stood up, swayed, and fell headlong off the shafts. There he was lying still, and still dead drunk, with
the front wheel stopped against his head. It was a miracle he had not brained himself. For a moment I wished the scoundrel
had. He’s a villain, as I said, and impervious to improvement.

‘Let’s teach him a lesson!’ I said to the landlord.

So we carried him round to the back and put his head under the pump, and while I held the half-drowned little rat the landlord
pumped away. Suddenly, shocked by the freezing water, the brigand came to life and fought like a cornered badger, kicking
me with great force in the shins and told me if If———did that again he’d f———kill me, so we pumped some more water into his
filthy mouth.

I told him I’d forgiven him and hoped he’d learnt his lesson.

That was punishment enough, you might think, to make him correct his ways. (How would the Army have proceeded?) But no! On
Wednesday, only two days later would you believe, he was arrested at
Aldborough Fair for using bad language and committing an assault. While I was peacefully painting a group of tinkers, a colourful
crew, he picked a fight. Disorderly conduct. Arrest. I could not, though, allow my model to be so detained. He is vital to
my work (and hence my prospects with Blote). I paid the inspector a fifty-shilling fine, and all this before a crowd which
had gathered for an unexpectedly free theatre show.

‘He’s lucky,’ the arresting officer said, ‘to have a gentleman to pay for him.’ To accompany the payment I assured all concerned
that this was a most unusual aberration.

‘Ta, Toff,’ Shrimp said, raising his hand by way of thanks when the storm had passed. The shamelessness, the ease of his self-forgiveness,
made me apoplectic. How I needed some of your military control! If there was one more such incident or anything of a similar
savour, I told him, that would be the end of his work with me, and that meant the end of his money, and the little villain
does love money. He rubs his hands over his florins, giving them his warmth, before parting with them at an inn.

All the next afternoon he sat head down and morose, his brow as black as sin, holding the horse hard with his knees, as motionless
as the wintry trees. I painted as in a dream, with only the blackbird’s song and the sound of my brush, and a winter’s sun
to lighten up the loins and brighten up the coat. Three hours without a murmur Shrimp sat. How much, would you estimate, is
his skill and sympathy with animals worth? Florins by the score! No horse I have ever seen stood still so long. And you could
smell the pastures through the pores of the horse’s coat,
the very opposite smell to bloody petrol. The long peak of Shrimp’s cap covered his insolent mouth, hid those blue eyes and
swollen lids, but if I told him to ‘Brighten her up a bit’ with a touch the mare grew in stature. He is, you see, the most
important piece on my chessboard.

‘Bin punished, ain’t I?’ he said afterwards, mooning about, hands in pockets, kicking the ground, or whistling silently. ‘Bin
punished good an’ proper.’ This time I could see true penitence. He felt sorry for himself and what he had done and I felt
sorry for him.

‘Tell you what, Toff,’ he went on, ‘this is a bloody bore. Me legs is achin’ awful.’ Bore or not, with his bout of drunkenness
and bad language and assault he assuredly had now done his worst. There could be no continuance of his outrages.

What a lot of rot!

As I was sleeping last night in dreamful happiness, sleeping like a happy spinning-top after another successful day, I gradually
awoke to the sound of a soft pounding, a thumping. It was a still night, a cold night, a moonlit night. What on earth could
it be? Animals, of course, but what were they doing? Some cattle must have strayed on to the grass at the side of the inn.
I took up my stick, the one with the heavy knob, and stepped out in my nightshirt. I listened and tiptoed away. Then, realising
the sound was fainter, tiptoed back, and found the source, right under my caravan would you believe, and I bent down and there
was Shrimp and there was a maid from The Falcon. I pulled him out by his feet, his backside white in the moonlight, and kept
pulling. Painful, no doubt, but what a business, Ev, right under my caravan and
the two of them under an eiderdown and tarpaulin. In this weather! Brass monkeys!

There was some flustering from the wench, a tall robust girl with a strong figure who started to punch me. I advised her to
return to her rightful bed. For her part she was evidently no respecter of persons, for she kicked me as well with her sharp
shoe.

‘Lor!’ she screamed, ‘’Tis only nature!’

‘Nature?’ I roared.

‘Mind yer own bleedin’ business,’ she hissed. ‘Who be you tellin’ us what to do!’

‘Off you go,’ I shouted at Shrimp, who was buttoning up before belting his trousers, ‘get out, you bareback rider!’

They ran off into the bushes.

After that I could not sleep. I communed with the clear night sky but in my mind’s eye, I admit, I returned under the caravan
and saw Shrimp pinning a well-positioned girl. Only nature? I suppose you could say so, and in the morning I most certainly
felt cold porridge.

You could argue he appears a crude little hero, this Shrimp, an ill-bred little hero, and I do think his unreliability would
grate on you, Ev, every hour of the day. There is abundant evidence, in this letter alone, that he needs whipping.

Yet.

Yet he has characteristic charm, and indeed leads a charmed life, and when I contemplate how indescribably stuffy, say, Mr
Carter-Wood of Carlisle and London is, I wonder will I be stuck with stuffed shirts and hemmed in by stodgy people, am I marrying
into a circle in which I will be strangling yawns? And when I start to think like this I warm to my little brigand,
and when I see the white hairs of the old mare on his black breeches I could sob with gratitude.

You see, I NEED HIM. The truth will out, and if that statement makes me unworthy of your friendship I am sorry, but I wish
to be given no lectures on it. Too many people, I have found, have no sympathy with or fellow feeling for failure and weakness.
You see, I dream of great success, I dream of fame, I dream of being a name on everyone’s lips, and Shrimp is a figure in
the future I paint. But I ramble, I rant.

How are YOU, Gilbert? Busy, busy, I’ll be bound, and thinking of other people, while my mind is restless though my body is
loitering in a Norfolk inn. Everywhere I see crossroads with glinting signs pointing me east, west, north and south, and I
want to take them all. Difficult business, this life. Still, you are keeping your eye on everyone, I warrant, with your strict
impartiality and your unobtrusive dignity.

Sometimes I wonder if people think I rather bagged Blote before – but no, another time for all that, and besides I call to
mind your politeness in the face of improper suggestions, and I even wonder if I was wise to include herein my account of
Shrimp’s nocturnal lechery when you have the bright, unsullied character of a saviour.

Oh yes, I must remember to ask. How is your poor bicycle? Do avoid thorns and nails, won’t you, but no … I won’t banter on.
Rather, I ask you to give the enclosed to Blote and assure you that I will see you soon.

Your good and true friend,

A.J.M.

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