Sunrise (38 page)

“I thought that angels were beautiful, shining, with wings?”

“Arnold, you don’t have to have wings to be an angel. I’m sure you already know that.”

“Dad…Jessiah isn’t just…
gone,
is he?”

“No, son. He isn’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Because on the day we buried him, when I was at my weakest and I was ready to just give in, I asked God to take care of my son, your brother. All He asked was that I kill the demon within the barn.”

“Diana,” Arnold whispered.

“Yes, Diana, your brother’s beautiful mare. The Devil took hold of her and made her His construct.”

“But I thought the Devil didn’t exist?”

Kevin laughed. “Some say he doesn’t. Some say he does. All I know is that when I opened that stall and looked into her eyes, I saw him, Arnold. I saw the Devil.”

Arnold didn’t say anything. Instead, he raised his eyes and looked directly at Kevin, his face now bolder and more determined than it had been before.

“I don’t ask you to believe,” Kevin said. “All I ask is for you to know that He exists, at least for me.”

“I know, Dad,” Arnold said.

“Good,” Kevin smiled. “Go check on your brother for me, please.”

The boy stood. He was about to head for the stairs before he stopped and looked over his shoulders. “Dad?”

“Yes, son?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Kevin smiled. “So much.”

*

“Quit hitting me!” Arnold cried.

“Then stop bossing me around!” Mark cried back, tossing a pillow in his brother’s direction.

Arnold ducked, the pillow missing him by inches, and said, “All I said was to be careful what you said to Dad.”

“Dad’s the grown-up! He should be the one taking care of us!”

Sighing, Arnold ran a hand over his quickly-lengthening hair and stared at his little brother. Being thrust into the position of the eldest sibling wasn’t easy.

If only Jessiah were here.

If Jessiah were here, he’d know what to say. He’d
always
known how to make Mark stop crying when something was wrong, when it seemed as though the world would crumble in around them and they would be covered in rock.

“I miss him too,” Arnold said, tears snaking their way down his face. “I’m trying, Mark.
I’m trying!”

“Brother,” Mark said. A hint of his former, much-younger self appeared in that moment. With a twitch of his nose and a flare of his nostrils, Mark’s lip curled up and his eyes widened to their breaking point. His tears came back once more at the sight of his older brother in tears. “What’re we gonna do without him?”

“I don’t know,” Arnold said, collapsing onto the second bed. “I just don’t know, Jason.”

“What did Dad say when you asked?”

“That…that God does exist.”

“That’s not all he said.”

“Yes it was.”

“Arnold, you were down there too long for him to just say that.”

“Mark, please—”

“Tell me!”

“All right! All right!” Arnold cried, shaking his head and raising his hands. “Keep it down though, ok? I don’t want Dad knowing we’re upset.”

Mark started to speak, but Arnold silenced his brother with a glare. Sniffling, Mark reached up to wipe the snot from his lip, absently wiping it on the thigh of his jeans when he was finished.  “He said,” Arnold began, “that when he went out into the barn to take care of Diana, he saw the Devil in her eyes.”

“The Devil?” Mark asked.

“The Devil,” Arnold agreed.

“But Dad never said anything about the Devil.”

“I know. That’s why I asked.”

“Did he say anything else?”

“No.”

Mark threw himself from the bed and into his brother’s arms. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed, burying his head into his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to be so mean.”

Arnold set his hands on his brother’s back. “It’s ok, Mark. I’m not mad at you.”

“I’m sorry for throwing things at you.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry for calling you names.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry for everything.”

“It’s ok,” Arnold said, closing his eyes.

As his younger brother cried in his arms, Arnold shamelessly shed a few more tears of his own.

If only Jessiah were here.

He’d know what to do.

*

Erik tapped on the door with the back of his knuckles. He pushed it open and peeked into the room, taking note of Ian’s shirtless form lying on the bed. “Ian? You doing ok?”

“Yes,” Ian said. “Something bothering you?”

“Not a lot, but a little.”

“What’s up?”

Erik stepped into the room. He took a moment to admire the floral décor hanging along and around the window before returning his attention to Ian. “You care for a little downer?”

“Like I said, what’s up?”

“Dakota and Jamie saw a zombie walking around earlier.”

“So?”

“She was covered in ice.”

“So what does that mean?”

“That they’re not going anywhere,” Erik sighed. “At least not for a while.”

“We’re on our own, aren’t we? No military help at all.”

“Not as far as I can tell. I’ve been messing with a radio here in the kitchen. It’s working, but I’m not picking anything up.”

“Nothing?”

“There’s some static, a few garbled words here and there, but nothing concrete. I think one of them might have been a relief broadcast, but whatever it is, I can’t hear it.”

“What makes you think it was?”

“Something about ‘all citizens’ and the like.” Erik said.

“Your headaches been better?”

“I guess. I haven’t had one for a few days.”

“That’s good to know.”

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For asking.”

“We were all worried about you when we first got here. You know that, right?”

“I know.”

“Can I ask a favor, if it’s no big deal?”

“Shoot.”

“You know I’m bipolar. I mentioned it back at the base.”

Ah,
Erik thought.

How could he have forgotten that frustrated moment when, while lying in his room, he’d heard a knock on the door only to find Ian—depressed, near tears and trembling, only able to say,
I need my meds, Erik—I ran out.

Ian continued, indifferent to Erik’s epiphany. “I’ve been having a really rough time. I’ve been doing the best I can to control my temper, but I’m starting to go through some of the depressive cycles and I don’t want to get any worse than I already am. It’s hard enough having to be cooped up, but with almost nothing to do, I’m surprised I haven’t gone crazy.”

“You need meds,” Erik agreed. “Why haven’t you mentioned it before?”

“Because I didn’t want to bother you with it.”

“It doesn’t bother me. Fuck. I just wish we would’ve thought to grab them before we left.”

“We weren’t anywhere near the supply closet when we had to leave, Erik. It’s no one’s fault.”

“I know.” Erik said. “Ok. Cool. You need meds.”

“That’s all I’m asking for.”

“You know what kind?”

“Symbyax, but I can deal with other stuff too.”

“We can do that on our next supply run.”

“So you’ll talk to Jamie and whoever?”

“I will.”

“Hey, Erik? Just between us…before, when I was in prison…after I was forced to rape that girl for my initiation…I used to think that no one would ever accept me after what I’d done.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. When the other guys I was with died—when Dakota and Steve killed them just as they should have—and I was sitting there with the plastic cuffs around my wrist and my life dangling on the line, I thought that I would never get a second chance. You know what though?”

“What?”

“I got a second chance, Erik. You guys gave it to me.”

“They don’t come often,” Erik agreed, seating himself at the foot of the bed. “But in my opinion, Ian, you’ve proven yourself in my eyes. I don’t care what anyone says: know in your heart that
I,
Erik Roberts, former member of the United States military, think you have redeemed yourself for what you’ve done.”

“Thank you,” Ian said, a tear snaking down his face. “So much, Erik.”

“So we need medicine,” Rose said. “What’s the big deal?”

“What’s the big deal?”
Jamie asked. “We’re in the middle of a fucking blizzard!”

“All I’m asking is to go to the drug store in town and see if we can find some of what Ian needs,” Erik said, raising his hands and slowly bringing them down. “Chill, Jamie.”

“Chill?”

“He’s got a point,” Dakota said, setting a hand on Jamie’s lower back. “Jamie, if the drugstore’s in town—”

“And only a ten-minute drive away,” Erik interrupted.

“Right. Why not at least try?”

“Because it’s blizzarding for Christ’s sake!”

“Easy big boy,” Steve said, pulling Jamie back a few steps. “I say three of us, including Erik, go out and get the drugs. Think about it, Jamie. We can hit this pharmacy and we’ll be set for the whole winter.”

“If it hasn’t already been raided,” Rose said. She bit her lower lip when all eyes turned on her. “Sorry for being a pessimist.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Erik said. “Who’s with me?”

“I am.”

“Count me in,” Steve said.

“Then it’s settled,” Erik nodded, looking to Jamie. “We’ll take the truck and that’ll be that. We’ll be back in an hour or so.”

“You remember where the drug store is?” Jamie sighed.

“I do.”

*

“You can’t blame them for wanting to go,” Dakota said, draping a blanket over his boyfriend’s naked shoulders.

“I know,” Jamie sighed.

A knock came at the door just then, and shortly thereafter, it opened to reveal Ian, dressed in a pair of jeans and a hoodie much too small for his broad frame. “Hey,” he said, his deep voice dampened by the chill he’d obviously just walked through.

“Hey,” Jamie replied. Dakota smiled in response.

“I didn’t mean to send you out in the cold. I’ve been going without as long as I can.”

“You should’ve said something sooner,” Jamie said. “We were just getting Ibuprofen and stuff before.”

“I know. I already feel stupid enough about it.”

“Don’t worry,” Dakota smiled, reaching out to grip Ian’s hand. “I bet they’ll be back any moment.

*

Rose pulled the crowbar out of what remained of the zombie’s head. “Fuck.”

“Fuck is right,” Steve said, looking at his own corpse. “Talk about a surprise attack.”

“You ok in there, Erik?”

“Yep,” Erik said, looking out at them from behind the shatterproof-glass counter. “You guys should get in here.”

“We’re afraid we’ll mess something up,” Steve said. “Right, Rose?”

“Not exactly, but right,” Rose agreed. She dangled the weapon at her side and kicked the corpse over, grimacing when she saw the thing’s disengaged spinal cord. “It was on its last legs before I took care of it.”

“Pretty impressive stuff there,” Steve said. “You in the army or something?”

“No.”

“Just wondering.”

“Were you?”

“Was.
See the scar here? Bomb. Broke all three bones. I was honorably discharged with a purple heart.”

“You saved someone’s life?”

“And nearly lost my own in the process.”

“That’s something to be admired,” Rose said. “Not many people are willing to put themselves in harm’s way for someone else.”

“Did you?”

“Yeah.”

“Who for?”

“My friend Therese. Mary’s crazy boyfriend broke into the apartment and shot her after he saw the bite. Thinking back on it, it was the best option, but we didn’t know what was going on and what the bites did. Jerard was just about to shoot Therese before I killed him with a candlestick.”

“Shit,” Steve said.

“I bashed his skull in while he screamed for me to stop.”

“Did she make it?”

“No. She sacrificed herself so the people on the boat could get away.”

“She’s her own purple heart in the sky,” Steve said, looking up at the ceiling.

Rose looked up as Erik knocked on the glass and pushed a dozen bottles of pills through the porthole. “They’re marked,” he said. “See those little pieces of paper inside them? That’s the name of the drug. There’s no issue about getting them mixed up.”