“I’m so tired about hearing about that damn TV!” Lorrie cried. “It was too big for the apartment we were moving into. It just didn’t fit. There were no walls in that apartment that would have fit that TV.”
Justin planted a kiss on Lorrie’s head and rubbed her pregnant stomach. “OK, OK, let’s not upset the baby. It’s OK.” He turned to me. “You’ll see, Audrey, when you Mike move in together. It’s all about compromises.”
Suddenly, it felt very hot in there. “Where was that fire escape again?” I asked.
“Right down the hall, through window in the kitchen. I didn’t know you smoked,” CJ added.
“I don’t. I just need a little fresh air.”
Mike stood up. “I’ll come with you.”
“No!” I said, a bit too forcefully. “I mean, I don’t want you to miss your show. I’ll be right back.” I made a beeline back down the hall to the kitchen and out onto the fire escape. It was a tiny space but Lorrie and Justin had made it as homey as possible. There was a chair out there next to a small table. On the table was a small ceramic dish that looked like it was being used as an ash tray. It was pretty cold out there and I hadn’t bothered to bring my coat. But, I preferred shivering out there to going back inside.
I sat on the chair and I looked down at the street below. This high up, I couldn’t make out any people individually but the lights on the cars and from the nearby buildings made for a mesmerizing scene. Nathaniel crossed my mind again.
He probably sees stuff like this all of the time. He’s always flying above everything. He can leave anywhere he wants, any time he wants. People respect him. He doesn’t have to worry about fitting in because he’s impressive enough that other people want to fit in with him. Nice life if you can get it.
I knew Mike was going to interrogate me on the way home about whether I’d had a good time. Truthfully, I wasn’t having a bad time at all. They were all nice, normal people who seemed to really like Mike. Because of that relationship, they really wanted to like me, too. I had gotten the impression that Mike had definitely spent more time talking about me to his friends than I had with my own, though. But that wasn’t hard to do, considering I had one friend and I had spent zero time talking about him with Mellie. A wave of guilt washed over me. I knew it should have made me want to call everyone I know and fill them in on Mike. Instead, it made me just want to go back in time and ask Mike not to mention me to anyone ever.
But I couldn’t do that. For now, I just needed to go back inside and hang out until it was time to go. I figured it was the least I could do. I stood up to do just that but bumped the table pretty hard, knocking the ceramic dish off the fire escape and down into the darkness below. “Shit!” I peered over the side and down into the night. I could go back in and pretend like it never happened. But if Lorrie or Justin realized that I was the last one out there, they might think I stole it. What if they told Mike?
The other choice was to go get it. But I didn’t know if I could sneak past the living room and to the front door to get down there. And what if it was broken when I got there? I’d still have to tell them that I dropped it in the first place. What if Mike got mad?
I leaned over a little further. Maybe if I could see it, I could figure out what to do. I leaned a little further.
Once again, being able to fly would really come in handy right about now.
I thought I saw a glimpse of the dish but it may have been wishful thinking on my part.
I leaned over a little further and lost my footing, falling over the side of the fire escape. For the second time in a week, I had fallen over the side of a building—only this time, there was no one to save me.
*****
As many times as I’ve been hurt, I had yet to figure out how to take it with grace. I fell like anyone else who had made a big mistake would fall—screaming my head off and flapping my arms, hoping to suddenly develop a talent for flying. I hit the ground with a chorus of snaps, groans, and thuds.
The good news is that I didn’t go splat in the street or the sidewalk. Instead, I landed in one of the big bushes that lined the walkway to the building. The bad news was that whatever that bush grew, it had thorns. So in addition to the broken bones that inevitably accompanied a fall like that, I also had a bunch of little thorns stabbing me all over.
I lay there, unable to move for what seemed like a long time. I didn’t know exactly how long it was because I couldn’t raise my hand to see my watch. But, it was long enough for me to spend a little time thinking. Surprisingly, this is not far off from what I expected the night to end. But, how pathetic was that?
Being a C-list Super on probation was one thing. I’d done that for so long that I had a routine. I understood my place in the universe. But this boyfriend/girlfriend thing might be a little too much for me. I couldn’t even get through dinner without falling off a building. This was probably going to end badly—even more badly than lying in a bush full of thorns with a body full of broken bones.
I lay there in the bushes doing my healing thing and wondering if it was time to break up with the nicest guy in the world who just so happened to live two floors up in the building where I lived and worked. How does that work?
As I slowly regained feeling in my body, I decided it was time to face the music. Crawling out of the bush, my hand made contact with something hard and smooth. It was the little ceramic dish that started the whole thing. I grabbed it and considered it a sign. What it was a sign of, I had no idea. But it had to mean something.
*****
“What the hell, Audrey? You were out on the fire escape so long, I went to check on you. Where did you go?”
I made my way back up to Lorrie and Justin’s apartment with the dish that I’d taken a tumble for. I tried to brush the dirt and leaves from my clothes and hair in the elevator ride up. After picking the twigs and thorns from my hair, I hoped I didn’t look like I’d just crawled out of a bush. It would make it a lot harder to do this if I did.
I tried to open the door to Lorrie and Justin’s apartment quietly. I thought maybe I could sneak back in and act like I’d lost track of time out on the fire escape. That plan was blown to pieces because I barely got the door open before it was being yanked from the other side. Mike stood there in the doorway, looking incredibly worried and angry.
I held up the dish. “I dropped this when I was out there on the fire escape and had to go down and get it.”
Behind him, Lorrie came waddling up with a concern look on her face. “Are you OK? You went outside without your coat?”
“I’m so sorry. I dropped your dish.” I handed the dish to Mike who handed it back to Lorrie.
She made a face. “Oh. It’s just an ashtray. You didn’t have to go all the way downstairs to get it. How did you even get out without us seeing —”
“A better question is
why
did you even leave without saying anything?” Mike interrupted.
“I didn’t want to disturb you guys. You were watching your show and everything. It was just a few minutes.”
Mike’s voice got very quiet. “I’ve been calling your phone for almost an hour.” The quietness worried me more than the questions. They weren’t buying it. Or rather, they knew I was leaving something out and they couldn’t quite figure out what it was. “We should go,” he said to Lorrie.
They disappeared back inside the apartment. I could hear them murmuring something to others and then Mike came back out with our coats. He handed mine to me and started walking to elevator.
I shrugged on my coat and followed him. “Mike, I’m sorry. It was just one of those things.”
He didn’t look at me. He just jabbed the down button and stared straight ahead. “You seem to always have one of those things, Audrey. Next time, just say you don’t want to come.”
And that’s when I realized that I might not have to break up with Mike. He was already very close to breaking up with me.
Chapter 11
Mike didn’t speak the entire ride home and he didn’t invite me up to his place, either. I apologized a couple of more times but it didn’t make things better. I went to bed alone, still wondering what to do next. I’d been thinking I needed to get out of this situation but the possibility of being dumped made me want to rethink the entire thing.
The next night, I walked the eight blocks to Mellie’s place hoping that whatever was going to happen that night would take my mind off of all the not-so-cool things that were happening all around me. Following the engagement, she and Kevin had moved into an apartment near Prospect Park. While the life she was living was further away from my life than ever, the actual apartment where it was happening was closer than ever.
Mellie opened the door with a big smile on her face, a glass of wine in her hand, and the sound of female laughter trailing behind her. With her dark hair, blue eyes, and good looks, Mellie looked like an Eastern European model. But I loved her because she had a wicked sense of humor and was always down to eat. You wouldn’t know this by looking at her but she could really put it away. “Audrey! You’re on time!”
As we hugged, I murmured “Liar. I’m at least fifteen minutes late.”
“Oh, honey, that’s your version of being on time.” I couldn’t argue with the truth. She led me into her apartment and showed me where I could put all of my winter wear. As I got rid of my coat, scarf, gloves, and hat, I looked around. She had a cute little place that had obviously been recently renovated. Exposed brick mixed with shiny stainless steel. Open plan kitchen with an island that looked out onto the living room. Loft ceilings. Skylight in the living room. Big windows lining one side of the apartment and I could see a deck out there. The last time I’d checked, Mellie lived in a mediocre third floor walk-up with two roommates. She had definitely been upgraded.
I put up my stuff and joined the other ladies in the living room. I recognized two of the girls but I hadn’t met the redhead yet. Mellie introduced me to everyone. “Everyone this is Audrey. Audrey, you remember Gloria and Cheyenne. You met them at brunch. And this is Bridget, my best friend from high school.” I waved at all of them awkwardly until Mellie pushed a big glass of red wine into my hand. I would have preferred a beer but at this point, I was happy to drink any alcohol available. I downed it in three gulps and asked for another one.
Bridget wrinkled her perky little nose. “You may want to slow down a bit. We’ve got a lot of work to do here.”
“Work?” I thought I was coming to a dinner.
“Well, you know,” Mellie explained. “We want to get some details down and get started on projects. We’re also going to have some tapas that Cheyenne brought.”
I considered myself a food connoisseur but I didn’t know what tapas were. “What are tapas?”
Cheyenne, the blonde one, chimed in. “It means, like, finger foods. And it’s all gluten free, cruelty free, preservative free, allergen free, organic, and made by hand locally.”
So. . . It’s probably a plate of ice cubes
, I thought.
Awesome.
Bridget clapped her hands together. “OK, let’s get started. As you know, I’m the Maid of Honor, so I’ll be in charge of organizing the bridesmaids. Obviously we need to plan a bridal shower and a bachelorette party—”
“Do we know dates, yet?” Gloria interrupted. I remembered that she was a real estate agent. She was already pulling out her phone, going through her calendar. “My schedule gets packed really quickly. I mean, anything for you, Mellie darling, but I need a timeline.”
Mellie sighed. “That’s been a problem. I want to get married in the fall. This fall.”
“This fall??!” everyone in the room besides Mellie and I shouted. Apparently, this wasn’t a good idea. I didn’t know why, though. I just took another gulp of wine.
“Oh my God, Mellie, that’s too soon!” Bridget said it as if Mellie had said she was bringing a date to her husband’s funeral. “There’s so much to plan. Do you even have a venue?”
Mellie nodded. “Brooklyn Bridge Park. It’s where we met.”
“Oh, saying your vows in nature is so poetic. It’s like Mother Earth is at your wedding,” said Cheyenne.
“You’ll need a permit from the parks department,” warned Gloria. “Don’t worry. I know a guy.”
“But how many people can you fit there?” Bridget gasped.
Mellie shrugged. “We were thinking 60 to 75 people tops, including everyone’s plus-ones.”
Some of this stuff was flying right over my head. “What’s a plus one?” I asked.
“A date,” Bridget explained. “Like, I’m bringing my boyfriend.”
“I’m bringing my boyfriend, too,” said Cheyenne.
“Me, too,” added Gloria.
And then they all just looked at me. It took a minute to realize they were all waiting for me to volunteer who I was bringing to the wedding. I guess this is what Mellie meant by bonding. But I couldn’t predict what was going to happen in the fall. I couldn’t even predict what was going to happen next week. “Me? I’m going solo. More cake for me.” They all looked at me with pity.
“Or maybe we could fix you up with one of groomsmen,” Bridget offered.
“Or not.” I poured myself another glass of wine as the girls started throwing around dates for the bridal shower and the bachelorette’s night.
Mellie got up and moved toward the kitchen. “Cheyenne, let’s start putting out the food.” As she walked past me, she whispered “Slow down.”
Easy for her to say
. This was her show. I was just an innocent bystander here to all of this. While Cheyenne and Mellie started putting out plates and dishes, Bridget pulled out some swatches. “As we all know, or
should
know, yellow is Mellie’s favorite color. She has decided to do shades of yellow in the bridesmaids’ dresses. Each one of us can pick our shade and then we’ll order the dresses. As the Maid of Honor, I’ll choose first.” She raised a finger to her dimpled chin and thought for a moment. “Buttercup! I really thought I was going to go with Sunshine but Buttercup is calling me!”
I didn’t know if a color had ever called me. I didn’t know whether to be jealous or embarrassed for her. I chose to just top off my wine.